It’s been a while since I’ve done an update on the blog, though I’ve sent out notes in my newsletter, so I thought I should take a moment to do that, now that I’m through the first six infusions.
I’ll admit it–they’ve been worse than I was hoping and praying. Not nearly as bad as full chemo, don’t get me wrong–but not great. I know I shared how my heart sank at my first infusion, when they, first of all, called it “chemo,” while in my head I’d been thinking of it as a blocker treatment more than an aggressive one, and then when they gave me all the anti-nausea pre-meds and refilled my Zofran. Well, as it turns out, I’m particularly prone to nausea with this cocktail. =/
Up until the fifth infusion, I was experiencing about 10-11 days of nausea, five of which also saw me fairly exhausted. Not ideal–given that my treatments are 21-days apart, that meant that half of my time was spent feeling fairly lousy. I had to write my Guideposts book, Secrets by Sea, during one of those stretches of icky, which wasn’t fun. Zero stars, do not recommend. 😉 I pushed through, though, and got it done…and was all relief when my editors came back and called it “nearly perfect.” Phew! But you can be sure I planned the writing of my next book, the one due to Tyndale around Easter (currently entitled The Memory of Freedom, though that could yet change), to NOT fall during a post-infusion week! (I just had my editorial meeting on this manuscript too, and am ALL RELIEF and praising God that they had only very minor notes as well. Yay!!)
In early March, I went in for my three-month scans, and I am ecstatic to report that those were CLEAR. No cancer cells spotted anywhere in my body, including my brain. Which is, of course, a HUGE praise!!
After those results, my oncologist dialed back the “nasty” parts of the chemo cocktail (this is called Enhertu, specifically targeting the HER2+ cancer cells, and the only treatment with good brain/blood barrier penetration, so my only real option). We were all hoping that would mean less nausea and hair loss, but…I didn’t honestly see any change in either.
For my fifth treatment, they gave me some new meds to take at night (Zyprexa, which was first developed as a drug to treat schizophrenia, but which, in micro-doses, is also used for both insomnia and nausea) and then a steroid to take in the mornings a few days after infusion. The nausea was definitely improved, though not gone by any stretch–it only lasted 7 days, though, and wasn’t quite as intense. Though the steroids gave me some swelling in my hands and feet, which my oncologist didn’t like. He cut the steroid again on my sixth infusion.
And that’s the one I just had last week. He also dialed back those “nasties” again, in the hopes that the nausea would be cut back to just a few days. And praise God, that’s exactly what I’ve seen! My stomach was still feeling a bit “off” on Friday and Saturday following the Thursday infusion, but not bad. And by Sunday, it was almost normal (though I still took my Zofran preemptively). Monday, though still tired, I felt perfectly fine and didn’t even take the Zofran. So YAY! I think it’s safe to say that this dial-back has been effective in the nausea-department, which is so great. I can handle a few days of tired and a weekend of “meh” when it comes to my stomach. Such a huge improvement! And such a relief, because it’s been rough.
Again, this is nowhere NEAR as bad as the full chemo of summer 2024. But it has its own challenges. First is the ongoing nature of the thing–because in 2024, I knew I only had 6 infusions. We counted down. We had that end always in sight. Now, though, I don’t honestly know how long this treatment will go on. A year, most likely. But we’ll have to pause for surgery, and I don’t know if that “year” is including the pause or if, however many we “miss” during it, will be tacked on at the end. I’m a very fringe case–in the best way, treating a disease no longer in my body–so there’s not a clear procedure here to follow. We’re winging it.
I also readily admit the hair loss is getting to me. Complete hair loss is unlikely on this course, so I certainly don’t want to shave it off like I did when I lost half of it within three days in 2024. But as someone who has always had very thick hair, seeing thin patches begin to emerge hits hard. I’ve bought some lovely wide headbands that help cover it and might just take up wearing hats–by which I mean cloches and fedoras and maybe a newsboy. I’m not a ball-cap girl, LOL, but I’ve always loved those vintage styles and already have several! Who knows, maybe I’ll even break out my 1940s fascinator that I wore to the American Library Association Convention last summer with my 1940s style dress. 😉 Don’t put it past me!
The most encouraging thing with this latest infusion, though, is that David has said, “You seem more you than usual after treatment.” Often, that first week or so afterward, I’m so tired and nauseated that I guess I feel “dimmed,” let’s call it. Not my usual, ahem, sparkling self. 😉 Which my darling husband, of course, hates to see. He’s described it as “you feel so far away.” But not this last time, and I am so, so grateful for that.
Oh, and a quick funny! So with the Patrons & Peers this year, we’re doing monthly Zoom chats on my backlist titles. We’re finishing up the Culper Ring Series now, and it has been SO long since I’ve worked on these that I had to reread them. I had Circle of Spies with me at my last infusion, and my nurse came in and said, “Oh, whatcha reading?
It was a little embarrassing, honestly, to be like, “Oh, my own book.” LOL. But also SO funny how her eyes went wide and she leaned in to see my name on it and was like, “Oh wow, that IS your book! That’s your name on the cover!” So I explained it was book number 5 of mine, and I just turned in number 55, and it’s been a LONG time, so I had to reread before a book club chat… and she just got more and more excited and dashed out of the room over to the nurses’ station to look me up and was shouting to all the other nurses about it. Which was hilarious. I told David, “Gee, maybe I should always be reading my own book when I’m at an appointment.” I think next time I might bring in a goody-bag filled with a variety of my titles. I sure have plenty to choose from these days, for any taste. (I did take my oncology team copies of several over the years, but I hadn’t ever brought any into the Infusion Center, given that I rarely have the same nurses, that team is so big.) Anyway!
My next scans are scheduled for July, and again, we fully expect those to be clear. Between now and then, I have my next appointment with my surgeon in late June, at which point we’ll determine if I’ve healed enough from my emergency surgery in February to proceed to the next step for reconstruction, which will be the intense diep-flap surgery, where they take flesh and fat from my stomach to recreate the breasts.
But before THAT, David and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary on June 17, and we’ve decided to take a trip to Quebec City for the week. Our original plan was to go to Europe for this one, but my oncology team advised against any flight of more than 3 hours, given that I’m immunocompromised, so…we figured we’d better stick to North America. David looked up cities with the most European feel on our side of the pond, and Quebec City topped the list. I visited once when I was 15, for a French Club trip, and really enjoyed it. I’d originally said, “Oo, let’s stay in the Chateau Frontenac!” it being the most iconic hotel in the city. Then I looked at the prices, LOL, and realized we could get a really nice AirBnB for a quarter of the cost. So yeah. We’ll be doing that and can go tour the Chateau if we want. 😉 But mostly our goal will be to wander, sit outside of cafes and people watch, read, relax, and just take in the charm.
Thank you all, as always, for being so faithful to remember me in your prayers. I am always so, so touched when I hear how many people have me always on their prayer lists, and their church’s prayer list, and their small group list, etc. I feel your prayers, my friends. And I know God hears them. He has been so, so good to me. I know this is just a season–perhaps longer than I’d like, and man, am I looking forward to the day when I’m not just waiting for the next THING–the next infusion, the next surgery, the next scans. I’m looking forward to being able to strengthen my body again and to feel good. I believe that day will come. And in the meantime, I’ll keep on clinging to His hand and resting secure there. I’ll keep on doing my work and writing my stories and finding the joy in the everyday miracles He gives me.
And I’ll keep on praising Him and thanking YOU. Because I can’t imagine traveling this path alone.
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. Having successfully launched two homeschool grads, she now spends her time writing fiction, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years, as well as a fantasy series and contemporary mysteries and romances. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.
Roseanna, I am new to your following, but am with you in spirit. I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer in the fall of 2024 and then an unrelated brain tumor a month later. I have had chemo, double mastectomy with immediate DIEP Flap reconstruction, radiation and have one final Keytruda infusion on June 1. I had the brain tumor surgery Dec 2025 and am still recovering from that. But my hair is about 4″ long now and I am thrilled about that. You are in my prayers! God blessed me with complete healing and I am thankful for my journey so that I can understand what others are going through.
Your journey, Roseanna, sounds so similar to mine.
I was diagnosed in 2016, at 64, with HER2+ breast cancer at stage 3B/4. That was such a shock to my husband, family n myself.
I’d been diligent with breast screens but the cancer grew in the 18 months since the previous scan. It was quite aggressive.
No surgery, no radiation, it had metastasised too far. Treatment was 3 chemos that made me really sick n targetted drugs, herceptin and perjeta every 3 weeks. They damaged my heart, the LVEF, so there were heart echoes to check. Sometimes it took 3 months for the heart to recover, sometimes 6 months. Then back on the targetted drugs again..
All I could think was, ok God, where do you want me to take this ? How do you want me to react ?
There were so many opportunities to share God’s love with nurses and oncologist and acquaintances.
The drugs did their job and God did His. Gradually the cancer receded. By 2020 there was no evidence of disease. Then covid came to Australia. With my heart already scarred n believing God had healed me I decided no more treatment.
There has been no return of cancer.
BUT, there have been repercussions. After the 3rd chemo I got a staph infection in my blood. My body reacted to the chemo with tiny itchy boils. Two weeks of intravenous antibiotics wiped out the staph that would have killed me, but it also wiped out my gut bacteria.
I’m healed of the cancer, praise God, but it’s been a long journey to restore my gut health. I have a lot of allergies and am very restricted in what I can eat. But I’m healthy, now.
This journey has taught me a lot … God has taught me so much n I’m still learning …. compassion, patience, self control, trust. His ways are different to ours.
God bless you in your journey and thank you for taking us with you.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re cancer free now, Lesley! Though a big “ugh” on that long journey to restoring your gut health. I get to have echocardiograms every 3 months while on any HER2 treatment too, but thus far I’ve been very blessed that everything looks healthy and normal in that regard. There are just SO MANY repercussions we don’t think about at the start–yet we get to live through those, and that is a joy, like the many other joys that God gives us along these hard journeys. His ways are indeed different but full of blessing. Thanks for coming along on my journey–and I’m praying yours continues to lead you to restoration and good health!
Thank you for being a great example of trusting God and moving forward no matter what. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in February. Prior to that, I admired your courage, grace and perseverance as you continued to write, share, care and demonstrate a great sense of humor. Now, it means that much more as I navigate everything that goes along with my own situation. Thank you for being a role model and encouragement and for being honest about what you are going through. God bless you and I pray for you to feel good, strong and be healthy!
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, Nancy! I am praying for you now and glad you can draw comfort and inspiration from my journey. You’re not alone!
Dear Roseanna, I am so thankful to hear your wonderful news! thanks for sharing, despite all you have going through, and the low energy. A word of warning about Quebec City. When I was there in 1999, so it may be different now, cigarette smoke was EVERYWHERE! So now with Airbnb’s, be sure you get smoke free. You might need a mask. But, Quebec City is definitely European in flavor. Do you speak any French? I speak Spanish and every time I tried French, it came out sounding Spanish, so LOL.
I’m no trying to scare you, but wanted to forewarn you because of your health. Enjoy! I so enjoy your books, especially the ones with Barclay and with Margot. God Bless you and David richly and Happy 25th!
That’s close to when I was last there too! =) I have a little French and intend to brush up a bit before we go. I definitely recall that not everyone spoke English!
We will continue to keep you in our prayers. You are truly a blessing to me in so many ways. May God continue to strengthen and heal your body
Thank you so much, Darlene!
So, so glad you’re feeling better. If nausea is ever an issue again, the Relief Band (it looks like a watch but gives electric impulses) works SO well. It’s for motion sickness but works amazingly for nausea caused by many things. I love mine. You can find it for sale online. 🙂
Thanks, Joleen, I’ll look into it!
Thank you for the update, Roseanna! I’m continuing to pray for you. 💗
Roseanna, So glad to hear that you are feeling better and can take that anniversary trip! My husband just finished chemo and rang the bell a couple of weeks ago in the infusion center. His scan was not perfectly clear but showed progress. Unfortunately, he has Follicular Lymphoma which is incurable. His oncologist said he would watch my husband’s scans, and when he sees the cancer growing, he will start the next treatment on him. It will be a different treatment from what he just went through. God has seen us through this journey since 2023, and brought us both a sense of peace. My prayers are with you as you prepare for reconstruction in the future!
So glad you two are walking this journey with the Lord’s peace. I’m praying now that your husband’s scans will show no growth for a loooooong time and that whatever future treatment he has, it will be easy on him and effective.
Praying for you! Thank you for this update.
Praise the Lord that you’re feeling some improvement! I sometimes feel like when I read your blog posts that we’re twins as we say various similar things “Zero stars– do not recommend”, and I’d love to hear you talk in person or via Zoom!
I lent the Culper Ring books to some of my friends from small group recently– they’re newer to me, but didn’t realize they were some of your originals!
Kindred spirits! =) Hopefully we’ll catch each other at some online event sometime! Hope your group enjoys the Culper Ring. =) They’re among my first books published, yes. I had two biblicals out before them, and Love Finds You in Annapolis, Maryland (now called A Heart’s Revolution). So early days for me, for sure.
To add to my latest comment today, My friend Jane Owen, who I mentioned and has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, has also written for Guideposts.
Oh, fun! On the writing, not that she’s been diagnosed. I’m praying for both of your friends. This isn’t a sisterhood anyone wants to be a part of, and yet God pours out His blessings here among us.
Thank you so very much for the update!
Since my last comment to you, just in the last month, an 82 yr old sister in Christ a 46 yr old daughter in Christ have been
diagnosed with breast cancer.
It’s been overwhelming for us all, but God!
My husband and I are learning so much about the spiritual calling and intensity of intercession.
We’re honored to be found worthy of this gift. Jane and Tammy are very strong women of faith.
Praying for your complete healing.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU
Thank you for the update. Praying for you.
So glad to hear about your improvement! I’m praying things continue to get easier for you along the way.
That’s so funny about the nurses and your books. What an amazing new way to spread the messages of God’s love and faithfulness that shine through your writing. They’re a lucky bunch to have stumbled upon your stories.
Peace and grace <3
It was definitely a funny moment! I’m never sure who among the team at the hospital has any interest in books, so it’s always delightful when someone gets excited.
You’re so amazing! Thank you for keeping us all updated. Continued prayers for complete healing and that you’d feel special strength and peace that only He can give. I can’t imagine this world without you in it, you’re such a blessing. Also, that story about the nurses and your books is the best! 🙂