Well, here I am, 10 days after my first infusion of chemotherapy. So many of you have reached out privately to say you’re praying and ask how I’m doing–and many just say you’re praying and don’t want to be a bother so say I don’t have to reply, LOL. So I thought I’d do an official update.
As David drove me to the hospital on Monday, May 13, and asked what I was feeling, my answer was that I was…curious. I like to know things. How was I going to react to the chemo itself, as it went in? (That first time they do it super slowly to watch for allergic reactions.) How would I react over the next couple of days and weeks? Whether the answers were what I wanted or not, I was glad to be to the point where I’d be discovering them.
I have to say that one of the most impactful things about the whole experience has been how wonderful the staff are at the hospital we’re going to. It’s a 90-minute drive but worth every minute. I just went up again yesterday for another biopsy, and it struck me anew–everyone was so loving, so thoughtful, so conscientious of me and my needs. And that’s been true of absolutely everyone I’ve encountered. The infusion itself went great, and my biggest praise since is that I can already feel the tumor shrinking. Praise God for that! And the bone scan last week agreed with the CT that nothing has spread, so I am so grateful and relieved about that!
The first five days were relatively fine afterward. My taste buds are definitely weird right now–anything salty just tastes totally bland to me, a normal dusting of black pepper burns my mouth, but sweet stuff still tastes fairly normal. (Bring on the chocolate! LOL) Thursday I began experiencing the most common side effect of this particular treatment, which is, ahem, intestinal distress. The weekend wasn’t fun, I admit it. I’ve had quite a few queasy days. And I haven’t been able to sleep well, so I’m more tired than I’d hoped to be.
But it’s starting to ease up. When I’m writing this, I feel pretty normal. That can change minute to minute, but I’m enjoying the respite…along with some of the other oddities that I’ve noticed. The last couple of days, soft things feel so soft. I know that sounds weird, but when I lean against a blanket, it just feels like it envelopes me in cushiness. The bed feels awesome when I lie down. The car seat was so comfortable. It’s absolutely bizarre, LOL, but also nice. And thanks to that shrinkage already, I can sleep on my side again for the first time in months! And for whatever reason, body odor has vanished. Didn’t see that one coming, but I’ll take it!
For several days last week, my scalp felt very tender, but that has gone away. I was warned that hair loss couple begin immediately and that it most commonly hits at 2-3 weeks after the first treatment and can really strike any time. So far, nothing abnormal there. But I’m prepared. I have my crazy purple wig (I tried it on, y’all, and I didn’t even recognize myself! LOL) and a pretty white lightweight knit chemo hat thing. So, you know, if I wake up bald before church one morning, I don’t have to panic.
So there we go. I’ve had a few rough days, but nothing debilitating thus far. And I continue to be so, so blessed by the flood of cards and little gifts and donations. Some from good friends, some from people whose names I don’t even recognize, all of which fill me with such humbleness and love. God is so good, and His children are reflecting that so clearly in my life right now. Please know that I treasure every note, every prayer, and every thought. I’m saving up all the cards that have come in, and it’s a mighty pile already! Just seeing it there by my desk fills my heart with such peace.
This may not be the road I would have chosen freely, but it’s a road filled with beauty nevertheless. A road filled with love and joy and peace. Thank you for reminding me every step of the way that I’m not alone.
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Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.
Praying for you.
You share your journey with such warmth and bravery. Your many friends and colleagues are rooting for you … through that greatest of all endeavors, prayer. May God’s love and ours continue to sustain you and bring you healing.
I love all the details you are sharing about what chemo is like — I never thought that chemo would make soft things feel softer.
I’m glad you have tender treatment where you are receiving care.
I have had the same experience where my cancer is being treated — and it makes such a difference.
You have my love and prayers.
I journey through breast cancer twice and it’sno easy trek. However, like you, I encountered the most incredible people. My faith got me through. It also grew, my walk with Jesus would not be what it is today if not for my journeys through cancer. I’m praying for you and your family.
I love how He uses these challenges to shape us into the people He needs us to be to live out the calling He puts on our lives. What an awesome God we serve!
It’s at times like these that those of us who have been recipients of outpourings of love and prayers can better understand the “body” of Christ–those believers who join Him in surrounding us with God’s loving kindness. Please know that you’re loved and prayed for.
It’s so true! Seeing the body of Christ at work, all around the world, is so beautiful!
Thank you for the update. Prayers always. I’m so glad you still have your hair. I’ve lost mine day 13 both times and the last time I still don’t have hair on top of my head. I may have to get me a purple wig.LOL.
May He continue to fill you with joy and peace and strength. He is so faithful. I think a cancer journey, even the ugly parts of it, is just a journey of knowing the true love of our Father and Saviour.
I figure when things don’t go as you want, find a way to have fun with it! Get a crazy wig or a fun hat or…whatever makes you smile for the journey.
Holding you close in prayer dear sister. And praying that those side effects of chemo will be minimal at best.
Many thanks for those specific prayers!
You may not know me. I am Tricia Goyer’s mom. I love you pray, so my dear sister in the Lord, my prayers are going up to our Father. God’s healing hand continue to be on you body.
Blessings with warm hugs. 💕🙏
Oh, hello! I just recorded a podcast with Tricia today. =D Thank you so much for the prayers and virtual hugs!