We can never hear “I love you” enough. Right?

Well, we may need to add a little more–we can never hear “I love you” enough when the person saying it means it. We can never hear it enough when it’s given as a gift, not meant to manipulate. We can never hear it enough when it’s true and free and welcome. If those conditions are met, those are the sweetest words in the world. We thrill to hear them the first time, and while the hearing becomes less surprising with repetition, it’s no less welcome.

I love you, repeated often, becomes a strong thread woven through the tapestry of our lives. We know, by hearing it regularly, that it’s true. We know that it means something–we know that the meaning goes far beyond the syllables and to the implications of the word.

We can trust that person.
We can depend on them.
We can be vulnerable and open with them.

And that’s just the little miracle that happens when we receive that repeated affirmation of love. What happens when we give it?

It could be hard for us to say those words the first time to someone. What if they don’t feel the same way? Is it too soon? What if you think it’s love, but it’s not? That hesitation goes away with “practice,” though, right? The more you say it, the easier it is to say.

No, not just that though. The more you say it, the more you mean it. The more you say it, the more you become aware of its truth. The more you say it, the more it becomes part of what defines you. It becomes who you are. You are both beloved and lover. You are part of something greater than yourself.

The same thing holds true with God, and with our repeated words of praise and love for Him.

Jesus warns us against “vain repetitions,” and for good reason. It’s easy to forget the meaning of words we say a lot. It’s easy not to think about them. It’s easy to use them to manipulate others, or to try to manipulate God into doing what we want. We can say your will be done and mean my will be done. We can say to God be the glory and mean look how holy I am. We can say praise Jesus and mean well that was lucky.

But I think many of us think the “repetition” part is the problem, and so think we have to eschew any old, memorized prayer.

Here’s the thing. Growing up, I never said the “Now I lay me down to sleep” rhyme, largely because it was “vain repetition.” Instead, I made up my own prayer. And you know what? I said that same exact prayer every night for years. Oh, there was a place to “personalize it” and name particular needs. But even those were the same so often that eight-year-old Roseanna would sometimes just say, when she was really tired, “and all of those others.” Did the repetition ever become vain? Sure. There were nights I rattled it off, barely thinking about it. But that wasn’t the norm, and it wasn’t my habit. My habit was to pause and think about it.

With my own kids, we’ve prayed together every night since they were little. And guess what–it’s the same basic words every night, the same basic pattern. Oh, we fill in different blanks, and I have a few variations…but in general? It’s the same. Why?

Because when we find the words that capture the meaning of our hearts, we use them over and over again. And that’s good. There are words and phrases and prayers we should repeat!

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit!
.
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts–heaven and earth are full of your glory!
.
Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!
.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world–have mercy on us!
.
Our Father, who is in heaven, may your name be set aside as holy!

I remember years ago, there was a member of our church who asked me why we said the Lord’s Prayer in every service. “Don’t you think that’s vain repetition?” she said. This was no novice of the faith, either–this was someone who’d grown up in the church and was in full-time ministry.

I just blinked at her. I mumbled something about wanting to make sure the kids knew it. But the real answer should have been, “It’s only vain if it’s vain.”

Let’s look at the main definitions of the word, shall we?

1: having or showing undue or excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements
2: marked by futility or ineffectualness
3: having no real value

It isn’t the repetition of a memorized prayer that makes it vain, now, is it? No. The only thing that makes a prayer vain is our intention. Are we saying it to look good? Vanity. Are we saying it without believing it will do anything? Well, God may still surprise us, but if we truly don’t believe, I’d call that vain. Do the words themselves have no meaning? Same.

But that’s on us. Not on the words. The words themselves, no matter how many times we repeat them, are good words. They’re the words God Himself gave us in His Word. They can bring life and hope and promise and joy…if we use them right.

We don’t render the mathematical table “useless” by memorizing it. We learn its value, in fact. We don’t render our declarations of love futile by repeating them often. A million heartfelt thank-yous will be a million times genuinely received. The danger is when we say “you’re welcome” and really mean “I resent you.” It’s when we speak of love but feel bitterness.

It’s when we pray, but want God to comform to our will.

In our lives, whether we’re talking to our spouses or our children or our God, repetition can be one of the best things we do–as long as we keep our hearts right. Say those words a lot. Put them on repeat. And every time you say them, hear them, or even think them, let the truth of it sink deep.

Dwell in the words. Dwell in what they represent. And mean it.

As December, and hence 2022, draw to a close, it’s that time when I pause to reflect upon the twelve months that have just passed, especially in light of my Word of the Year. In January of 2022, I chose the word “Devotion” to guide me into the year to come.

As I debated what word to choose and why, “Devotion” came to mind because it would help me focus on what I truly wanted to be devoted to…and then actually spend my time on those important things, rather than pushing them to the margins in the face of the daily grind.

My “devoted to” list included:

• God
• My family
• My call to write
• Learning

But all too often, those things weren’t what was getting my time. Instead, most of my hours and days and weeks were spent doing the things that may have been good but weren’t my passion, weren’t my top-of-the-list. I wanted to refocus for 2022, free up some time for those Most Important Things, and truly devote myself to my faith and family and calling.

With that in mind, the big thing I did was take control of my design calendar and say “one cover design a week.” My “rule” before had been 2, but it frequently turned into 4 or 5, plus typesetting jobs, plus WhiteFire work, plus… everything. It was too much, and I was not only left without solid writing time, I was also left pushing things like my morning prayer and Scripture reading into five minutes. Not good! Hence that one-a-week cover design rule that I instituted. The result is that I’m already scheduling designs five months in advance, so I’ve had to encourage my clients to think ahead. And there have been times when I’ve gotten behind thanks to a writing deadline, so a few extra pile up. But in general, that “rule” has helped me SO much! I’m glad I instituted it and intend to carry it forward and be even more strict about it in 2023. (My November and December somehow ended up with an average of 4 projects a week again, because I just didn’t have the gumption to tell people no, LOL.)

One way I gave myself the space to do this was to start my direct-support group, Patrons & Peers. This is a Patreon-style group, but run directly through my website here. My supporters can choose their subscription level, and in exchange for that support, they receive perks and–far more important!–are invited into the P&P community. When I started the group, I had this dream that it wouldn’t just be about supporting me, but about supporting each other. That it would be faith-filled believers acting like the Church should, loving and encouraging each other. AND IT IS. I am still so floored by this, and deserve none of the credit. It’s the ladies themselves who have made this possible by being open and loving and filled with the Spirit of God. This group has not only blessed me financially throughout the year, enabling me to whittle down that design calendar, they’ve blessed me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as well. I love reading the group emails and listening to/watching the Marco Polo videos. We’ve become friends. Sisters. A true community. We sign off with “love you guys!” and pray for each other daily. These ladies have helped me pursue my true devotion and have inspired me daily to walk worthy of the call of Christ. Thank you, “Roseanna Girls!”

In 2022 I also decided to do a Bible in a Year program, to force myself out of that 5-minutes-of-reading slump I’d been in. I chose to do the ESV Catholic Version and have really enjoyed reading all the Deuterocanonical texts as well as the familiar Scriptures in a new-to-me translation!

My husband and I have also been doing the Liturgy of the Hours together in the morning, listening to the Invitatory and Morning Prayer together in the Divine Office app on my phone. I love that these songs and recitations have grounded my heart in the Psalms–as I go throughout the day, I often find myself singing, “Come now, let us bow down to worship, bending the knee to the Lord our Maker! For He is our God, and we are His people, the flock He shepherds. Come, let us sing joyful songs to the Lord!” I’ve memorized several Psalms this way through the year without even meaning to! I try to listen to the Office of Reading too, when I can, which in addition to prayer and psalms and Scripture also has a short excerpt from a historical sermon. I love getting little bites of the Church Fathers this way!

Now…writing. This is “me.” This is what I do. I wanted to free up more time for it, and boy, have I done that! While I’m still not writing every day or anything, I have successfully completed 4 full-length manuscripts this year, plus edits and rewrites, and am about halfway done a 5th. I’ll have 4-5 due next year as well, so I’m so happy to have established a rhythm and routine that allows for more writing time. I still am scheduling most of it in big blocks (and don’t always remember to mark that week off on my design calendar, hence those occasional back-ups), but that’s what’s working for me in this season, so I’ll just run with it. =)

And now, study. I wanted to give the proper attention to both research for my novels and my own spiritual formation, and while I still have room for improvement here, I feel like I’ve made real strides! I did a lot of research for both Yesterday’s Tides and my new Imposters series for Bethany House, and I read a truly amazing book on Mary Magdalene in preparation for writing At His Feet for the Extraordinary Women of the Bible series for Guideposts. My husband and I have also both read several books together that we then discuss as we take walks, and that’s been a real joy too! And in the autumn, one of my P&P ladies, Laura Heagy, started sharing some Spiritual Formation exercises with us each month, which have also helped me focus time and some reading on this important goal.

Was 2022 a perfect year? Of course not. I had plenty of moments of frustration, of overwhelm, of exhaustion. There were days when the words wouldn’t come or when the headaches were too bad, and I got seriously derailed for a week or two by learning that I have a benign tumor on the pituitary gland in my brain. But for all that, as I look back on where I was a year ago and where I wanted to be this year, I know that I have, in fact, chased after that devotion with my whole heart. I had moments of failure, of course, but I picked myself back up and started again. Redevoted myself. Focused again on God and what He’s given me, what He’s placed in my charge, what He’s called me to.

And I already know how I’ll continue that work in 2023–my Word of the Year came to my mind and heart very quickly, as soon as I started thinking about it, and I’m looking forward to telling you more about how, in 2023, I intend to Linger with God, with His word, with His people, and with those things and people who make me who I want to be. Come back on January 1 to read my Word of the Year post!