Happy Endings

Happy Endings

It isn’t that I was having a particularly bad day. I wasn’t throwing up–like I’d done the last two Fridays and Saturdays. I wasn’t as tired as I’d been the day before, when I’d had to take two different naps. There was no pain to address. I just felt generally icky. And generally tired.

When my mom and my best friend asked how I was feeling, I could report on that, and they both responded with something along the lines of, “Oh good! Glad it’s not so bad today.”

Here’s the thing, though. It didn’t feel good. I could recognize that it was better than some other days, but I was tired, and I was tired of being tired and feeling sick. I just wanted a day where I picked what I would eat based on what I wanted rather than what wouldn’t make me feel even worse. I wanted to want to sit at my desk and work, and I didn’t. I knew I had nothing concrete to complain about…but the constantness of feeling bad weighed heavily that day, and as David and I went to bed that night, we talked a little about it.

And we talked about happy endings. Maybe this is going to sound strange, LOL, but bear with me.

A friend sent me a book called 50 Days of Hope: Daily Inspiration for Your Journey through Cancer by Lynn Eib. This is a truly beautiful little book that I absolutely love. In it, Lynn tells about her own cancer diagnosis when she was only 36, and how she kept running into people who wanted to tell her all about other people with cancer…many of whom died. She learned to interrupt them and ask, “Does this story have a happy ending? Because if not, I don’t want to hear it.”

I love that–it made me grin when I read it. It’s something I’ve observed a lot in the Type 1 Diabetes community as well, that as soon as a child is diagnosed, people want to tell stories about this or that person they knew who died of complications…and that is SO NOT HELPFUL. When you hear a teen gets their license, the first thing you say shouldn’t be, “So-and-so was killed in an accident on their very first solo drive,” right? That’s not helpful. Obviously bad things happen to people, but those don’t need to be the stories we dwell on constantly. Let’s instead tell stories of people being victorious, of people being successful, of people defying the odds, doing great things, finding healing.

And yet…I’ve noticed something else as the reality of cancer treatments stretches out day after day.

Sometimes, happy endings feel pretty mocking…when you’re in the midst of the rocky middle.

I’ve heard countless stories during this time, all meant to be encouraging, of people who “weren’t sick a day of treatment” or who “didn’t miss a day of work.” Now, at the outset, before I’d gotten started, I loved these stories. These were the happy endings I wanted to hear about! This was the hope I wanted to cling to!

But…

But my reality looks different, which I discovered as I went. I am sick. I am tired. If I had a traditional job, I’d be missing some days, or at least some hours. Maybe “many people never even get sick,” but I’m one of the ones who has, and after hanging over the toilet, those stories of other people who didn’t aren’t so encouraging anymore.

Here’s the funny thing, though. It isn’t that they’re discouraging or that I feel jealous of their experience. It’s that I feel a strange sort of shame, like I’m not doing it right. Now, I know intellectually this is silly. But it’s a real thing we experience sometimes, isn’t it? We feel as though we ought to have been able to do something to make it that way instead of this way. We feel like if they could do it without missing a day of work, then we ought to have been able to manage it too, and we’re somehow falling short. We’re a disappointment. We’re a failure. We feel as though we ought to have chosen something different, when the fact is that we don’t always get to choose. 

We feel as though people are judging us as weak. Even though we know they (probably) aren’t, the thought is still there. I’m not “doing cancer” as well as she did. I’m not as tough. I’m not as strong. I’m not as able.

In those moments, other people’s stories, other people’s happy endings aren’t necessarily what we need to hear.

There is a happy ending on the horizon–I 100% believe that. But right now? Right now, I’m not in that part of the book. We’re still in the middle of the story, and sometimes I love just looking at it like a writer. Because then I can see that my inciting incident has to lead to some twists and turns. It has to include dark moments and wrestling with lies. It has to feel sometimes like “all is lost.” It has to, because those are the elements of a good story…and good stories borrow their elements from real life.

It has to have those negative things, because life does. And because the beautiful moments, the wins, the victories, the climaxes are only amazing because of the dark places.

Lynn Eib mused in her wonderful little book that she’d never met anyone who took their diagnosis totally in stride and didn’t experience fear or denial or get upset, at least a little. Well, I can honestly say that my diagnosis had none of those things. Because, I said, I’m a novelist. I’d already explored all the different plot options. I’d played them all out like a story in my mind, so when I got the news, I seriously thought, “Okay, Lord. This is the story you’re writing for me then. Okay. Let’s do it.”

And it still feels that way. I’m not afraid or depressed or defeated. But you know what…that doesn’t mean I get to skip to the happy ending, either. I’m still in the midst of it, and the midst involves some not-pleasant parts. I would have loved to be one of “those people” who bypassed some of these side-effects, but I’m not. There’s no shame in that, no weakness, no regret. Right now, I’m living through the rocky middle. It isn’t fun, and I don’t like doing it.

But I know it’s what leads me to the place I want to end up. I know that my role through it is to live it well and live it with God and live it with hope. My role is to know that even when it isn’t easy, there’s no shame in it being hard.

It’s so easy to compare our stories to other peoples’, both those who have it worse and those who have it better. But their story isn’t ours. Today, for that matter, is neither yesterday nor tomorrow. We only have our own stories, and we only have now. So let’s live them in the way God gives them to us. Knowing that tomorrow the page will turn, and even though we may not be able to anticipate how or when or where…God is still leading us toward that happy ending of each ordeal. All we have to do is walk it out.

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.

Why?

Why?

Why?

It’s one of the most fundamental questions. And any parent knows that on the lips of a small child, it’s a sign of curiosity, of a desire to soak in and understand the world. I know when my kids entered the “why” phase, it was by turns delightful and frustrating. I loved fostering their understanding and curiosity…but I didn’t always know the why, and many times, I didn’t care about the why.

Yet every time life throws us a curve ball or something happens that we don’t want, that age-old question usually pops into our minds, just like a toddler who wants to know. Why?

I said a few weeks ago in one of my cancer updates that I was choosing not to ask why–and here’s why. (ha…ha…ha…)

Why can be a wonderful question brimming with curiosity…when we ask it in the right way. When we ask it from that place of wanting-to-understand from a sense of wonder. But that isn’t how most of us use the question in those times. When I ask, “Why did my son get Type 1 Diabetes,” am I really asking about the triggers of an autoimmune disease and its genetics…or am I asking, “God, why did you let this happen?”

The first is a question that has some degree of answer–we learned that both parents have to carry the gene, and that any change to the body, be it a cold or puberty, can trigger that gene to activate. The second…the second isn’t really a question, is it? It’s an accusation.

And I think many times when we ask why as adults, that’s how we mean it.

Why did I get cancer?
Why did she die?
Why did that storm take the house?
Why did he get dementia?

But even accusations can be useful…if we actually want an answer. And if we’re willing to accept that the answer may be “Why not?”

My amazing virtual assistant, Rachel, tells that story of when her son was born without an immune system. She wanted him to be miraculously healed. She cried out, “Why, God? Why us?” And she heard God say, “Why not? Why not you? Why can I not use you to reach others through this? Why can I not choose to protect him every day instead of healing him once now?”

She will tell you that that moment marked a change–because she listened. She accepted that answer. She began to look at it in a different way. And God did protect her little boy day by day for years.

We can ask why. We can ask with a heart of wonder, ready to receive an answer that isn’t as cut and dry as what a toddler demands. We can ask knowing that sometimes we won’t get any answer at all, or not one we want. We can ask hoping to learn something about the world and how it all works.

We can…but too often we don’t. Because we’re angry and hurt and feel betrayed. Because we don’t want to know, we just want things to be different. We ask with closed hearts and closed minds and closed opinions. It’s natural. It’s an understandable, emotional response. We may just have to work our way through that.

But my hope and prayer for us all is that we can shift our perspective–first to ask that question with an open heart and an open mind…but then to ask another question instead.

Ask how.

How will God use this?
How will it shape me?
How will I respond?
How will I shine His light through this?
How will this bring Him glory?
How will I draw closer to Him and to others through this?
How will He surprise me?
How will He meet me on this journey?
How can I grow?

We can seek out the why, and sometimes we even find the answer. But it’s not usually something that we can do anything about. The how, on the other hand…the how is quite often something we can choose–or something we can stay always aware of, making ourselves clay in the Potter’s hands. The how can keep our minds focused on the Lord and His ways and our own hearts.

Questions are good. Questions can expand our minds and enlighten our hearts…when we use them to seek wisdom and understanding, from a place of wonder. But questions can be weapons and shields, when we lob them like accusations and then stop our ears because we don’t actually want to hear the answers.

Questions can lead us to self-awareness and God-awareness…or they can close us off and make us hard.

Which questions are you dwelling on today?

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.

Peace: Keeping or Making?

Peace: Keeping or Making?

Jesus talks a lot about peace. He talks about it like something physical, something to be bestowed, something that you can will to rest upon a place. He talks about it like a gift straight from heaven.

The biblical word used for peace encompasses more than just “without strife.” It has a sense of wholeness, of “all is right.”

So in Matthew 5:9 when He tells us “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God”…what does He really mean? Or rather, what does it mean to be a peacemaker?

I think more often, we’re familiar with peacekeepers. They’re the people who will offer compromises to keep from rocking the boat. And oh, friends, am I guilty of this. I don’t like conflict. I don’t generally think of myself as a “people pleaser,” but I am definitely a peacekeeper. I noticed this about myself as a preteen, when I would say anything to be agreeable. I’d claim to like things I didn’t, just because the person asking the question liked it.

I still remember walking back to the school from the track one day, hearing myself do something like that. I don’t remember the question–but I remember this hot ball of frustration in my chest. Why did I say that? I thought. I do NOT like that. Why can’t I just say so?

It was because I didn’t want to disagree. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t want to be the odd girl out. And so…I lied.

That’s a stark way to look at it–but accurate, at least for me. I’d say that most every lie I have ever told was for that same purpose: to keep the peace. To keep from rocking the boat. To keep from upsetting someone.

But I’m sure I’m not the only one who sees the problem there. Not just with lying, but with the fact that lying for the sake of peace means that peace is then counterfeit.

Now, let’s take a pause for a moment. Being truthful does not mean being rude, nasty, insulting, or otherwise negative. When someone asks if you like their new haircut and you don’t, you don’t have to be insulting. You can find something good about it, or even say that another style is still you’re favorite, but [insert something positive]. Because, let’s face it, your opinion is not FACT. Remember those exercises in grade school? The fact that I don’t like something doesn’t mean it isn’t good or likable. It’s just preference. And if my preference doesn’t align with yours, that’s no reason to hurt anyone’s feelings. I have a real problem with people who are so proud of “always saying what they’re thinking.” Having no filter is no more honest than phrasing your words kindly. Trust me. I had a big argument with someone once, and something they said stuck with me for years. When we finally talked about it, I was told, “But I didn’t mean that! If you’ve let that come between us, that’s Satan at work.”

Maybe…but maybe it was Satan who planted the words to begin with. Believing them was not my fault. They were said by someone who takes pride in being “blunt and honest,” so why wouldn’t I believe them?

We shouldn’t lie to keep the peace–but we should still treasure that peace enough to take it into account before we speak hurtful words.

And if we treasure peace, we don’t just keep it. We don’t just admire it. We don’t just try to preserve it. We don’t just compromise in order to maintain it.

The peace of Christ is something different, and we’re called to do something more. We’re called to make it.

We’re called to CREATE that soul-deep, “all is well” peace. We’re called to create it with love, with faith, with sacrifice, and with hope. Not with lies, compromises, insults, and division.

The peace of Christ is when you would rather die than deny Him–and rather be killed than kill.
The peace of Christ is when you help those who hurt you.
The peace of Christ is when you love the unlovable.
The peace of Christ is when you welcome the outcast, not cast out the one who has offended you.
The peace of Christ is when you greet an insult with a compliment.
The peace of Christ is when you seek to understand rather than to be understood.
The peace of Christ is when you answer a demand with a gift.

And do you know what happens when we do that? Jesus tells us, right there in the Sermon on the Mount.

We are called sons of God.
Heirs of the Kingdom of God.
Brothers and sisters of Christ.
We are given authority in Heaven and on Earth.
We are made like Him.

Peace, my friends, is something not just to seek, not just to preserve, but to make. It’s an active practice. And it doesn’t rely on pleasing people–it relies 100% on pleasing God by our interactions with them. On remembering that He loves them every bit as much as He loves us. And on treating them like they, too, are a son or daughter of God.

That ought to change everything.

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.

Peace: Keeping or Making?

Reaching Perfection

I like to finish things. It’s why I enjoy doing book covers–completed in a matter of hours–even while I’m writing a novel–which takes weeks or months. It’s why I like knitting scarves rather than sweaters or blankets. It’s why on days when I spend the whole day on an extravagant dessert for a party, I’ll then make a very quick and simple dinner.

I don’t shy away from long projects. But I always pair them with short ones. Because I need that hit of dopamine that comes with checking something off my list at the end of each day. I need to feel like I’ve not just accomplished but completed something.

I’ve thought a lot about the value of work from a spiritual perspective, but I’d never really paused to ponder the spiritual value of completion until my husband read this quote to me from a book on Revelation called The Lamb’s Supper, by Scott Hahn*. (Hilariously, I’d already read the book myself and was the one to recommend it to him, LOL, but this totally didn’t jump out at me when I read it.)

“Meanwhile, our enemy, the Beast, consecrates nothing. He works tirelessly, sometimes intimidating us by his industry; but his labors are sterile. He is 666, the creature stalled in the sixth day, perpetually in travail, yet never reaching the seventh day of sabbath rest and worship.”

That totally resonated with me this time around, probably because David and I have talked a lot in recent months, as he’s chipping away at a big project, about how frustrating and unfulfilling it can be to work and work and work and never finish. To strive without achieving the goal. To put in the effort and even the pain without reaping the reward. It can feel like labor with no baby at the end. Medical treatment that makes you sick but doesn’t actually cure the disease. I can handle chemo side effects, for instance, when I know they’re working because I can feel that tumor shrinking (praise God!). But if it wasn’t? If I was sick and it made it worse? I can imagine how that would make me feel, and it wouldn’t be good.

But I’d never paused to think about why. To view it from the eternal. But let’s look at it for a moment through that lens Hahn gives here.

God worked–and in so doing, He created a world of good things. He paused each day to consider what He’d done and found it good…but He didn’t stop. He didn’t actual stop until it was finished, and what did He do then? He rested. He reached completion and then He enjoyed the rest. He sat back (metaphorically speaking) and enjoyed what He’d done.

This is why the Ancient Jews viewed the number 7 as synonymous with perfection. Because perfection doesn’t just mean “without flaw” as we think of it today. Perfection, in ancient languages, reflects completeness.

And this carried over into the understanding of Christ and faith in Him as well.

Over Easter, I remember being struck by one of the readings. Specifically, there was a line about how, through His suffering, Christ was made perfect. I was ready to argue–because Christ was already perfect, right? He was without sin! Then I realized that this was from Hebrews 5:8-9. So, yeah, I can’t argue, LOL. Instead, I have to understand. And in context, the writer of Hebrews had already acknowledged that Christ was without sin. Always without sin…but made perfect through the suffering of the cross.

Do you see the subtle difference there? A lamb selected for Passover is always without flaw, must be without flaw. But being pure and blameless does not work salvation. Dying, being slain, being offered up is what does that. Christ being without sin was amazing–but only amazing. His perfection would not have saved us had He not offered himself up on the cross. That obedience, that work, that suffering as a sinless man is what resulted in perfection–completeness–wholeness.

He worked, and through that work, achieved something great. He worked, He completed, and that was when He gained perfection in the ancient sense–He had completed His purpose, His work, His entire point of being born as a human.

He rested on that sabbath day–which was both an ordinary sabbath and High Holy Day that year, a perfect culmination of rest. And then we know what happened. He did something else. He rose. He began something new. Something no Passover lamb could ever do. He instituted a new creation in that moment, one we partake of, one that undergirds our entire faith.

The most ancient Christian document we have is the Didache, which literally means “The Teaching.” More specifically, it’s “The Teaching of the Twelve Apostles.” Before the Gospels were even written down, before Paul had written all of his letters and they had been compiled, the disciples had written down a few guidelines. It was basically a pamphlet, a handbook for how to be a Christian. This little document was very widespread and distributed, and when you read it, you see that it’s like a skeleton that the Gospels and Epistles fleshed out in more detail.

Well, in this document there’s a term used for the day when believers gather together. Some translations yield it as “the Lord’s Day,” others just go ahead and say “the first day of the week.” But the Greek is something interesting. It actually says “the sabbath’s sabbath.” Now, when we try to reason out what that means, we can see why people go with the literal translation–if the sabbath is the last day of the week, the end, what follows after those first six days, then its sabbath is the next day. But it’s so much more than that in meaning. It’s the day of completeness, not just of creation but of salvation. God rested on the sabbath, thereby finishing creation. Jesus rose on the first day, thereby finishing salvation.

It’s that completeness, that perfection that truly sets a thing. And that is why the disciples instituted worship on the day Christ rose. But notice how it still pays honor to the original creation, which was just a foretaste, a foreshadowing. Much like Christ’s offering completes and fulfills and perfects the original Passover, so does His resurrection complete and fulfill and perfect creation itself.

Completing things is important. It’s part of how we partake of that divine creation both God the Father and God the Son did. And while some of us are perfectionists and want everything to be without flaw, I think this is a critical lesson–there’s no such thing as perfect-but-unfinished. Perfection requires completeness without blemish.

So strive to do well, yes…but also strive to finish. Because otherwise, we are trapped in that same striving of the Enemy, who works and works and works but never reaches that point of rest–never reaches fullness, completion. Perfection.

That is not what we’re called to, friends. We are called to rest with Him, knowing our work is truly complete…and therefore perfect, through His sacrifice.

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.

Halfway through Chemo!

Halfway through Chemo!

This week marks a milestone in my breast cancer treatment–I just completed the third chemo infusion on Monday, which puts me officially halfway through this part! Woot! After chemo I’ll still have surgery and radiation, so the WHOLE journey isn’t halfway done, but even so, I’m rejoicing at this part.

I knew that chemo wasn’t likely to be fun, and that has certainly proven to be the case. I was at first quite hopeful that Round 2 would prove easier than Round 1, when some of the symptoms I was experiencing by Thursday in the first round hadn’t hit…then came a UTI, along with a wee little fainting spell as a result of it that landed me in the emergency room for an afternoon. I got to have all sorts of tests run to rule out the passing out being caused by a heart problem, and everything they ran looked clear. Of course, they were still careful to say they couldn’t rule it out, but when they offered to let me stay in the hospital all weekend for more prolonged testing, I declined their gracious offer. 😉 My team in Morgantown agrees that the UTI and the dehydration it had caused was the most likely culprit, so unless there’s a new symptom to indicate heart issues, we can assume UTI is to blame for that one.

I had some heartburn that weekend, and then the following Friday and Saturday, I woke up both days feeling GREAT…then in the afternoons experienced my first bouts of nausea that resulted in throwing up. Not my favorite thing in the world, I gotta say! I had a few rough days of many trips to the bathroom, then a few days where I felt great and perfectly normal, aside from being tired. Happily, one of those fell on my sister’s birthday. =)

It was a wonderful day! David and I had gone out to dinner on our anniversary two days before, and that was nice too…but I still came home and had to run to the bathroom multiple times while we were watching a movie (Asteroid City. Did you see it? Did you like it? We were kinda left going “What in the world was that??” at the end. Definitely not going on my favorites list, though it didn’t quite rate the “Can I have my two hours back?” list, I guess).

On Wednesday, though, I felt like me as I went to coffee and brunch with my mom, my sister, and one of her best friends. We laughed and chatted and I enjoyed being a redhead with my “Ariel” wig. 😉

And I started writing my next book that Wednesday! No writing retreat word counts or anything, but I got over 7,000 words written by the end of last week, and am off to a great start this week too. It just feels so very me to have my head in a story and to be spending my mornings working on it. =)

On Friday, I took all my wigs with me to the wonderful woman who has been cutting my hair since I was, like, six. She shortened the Ariel for me (waist-length was just a bit unwieldly and tangled too much), shaped up the bangs on Sunny Blond and Sassy Purple, and made a real-human-hair brunette wig a client sent to me look modern and sleek instead of too-much-for-my-little-head. She agreed that the purple and red are her favorites for me! I had a great time laughing with her…before coming home to a second weekend of puking and intestinal distress. =/ Thankfully, once I started the 3-day course of steroids that surround each chemo infusion (so started on Sunday), I started feeling good again.

I didn’t try to write during the infusion on Monday, though I’d had it in mind as a possibility. One of the pre-meds they give me makes me really drowsy though, and between that and the wonderful nurses stopping in every half hour to change out this or that, I decided that writing didn’t make a lot of sense. So instead, I worked on a round of edits I’m doing for an upcoming WhiteCrown title, Christmas in the Castle Library, which I am THOROUGHLY enjoying! The author is Ann Swindell, who is well established as a non-fiction author, but this will be her debut novel. I don’t do a lot of editing these days, but I couldn’t turn down this one! When one of Ann’s beautiful non-fiction books on peace came out, she sent me a signed copy out of the blue, with a note saying how much she loved my novels, and how she wanted to give me her book in the hopes that it would resonate with me as my words do with her. I was so touched! It’s a gorgeous book, one of those gift-quality ones with blue ink and beautiful layout and design, and I really loved it. So when she submitted a royal Christmas story…well, I was excited that our team loved it so much and volunteered to take a round of edits.

So that’s how I passed my time during Infusion 3, quite happily. They got me in early this time, and I’m now on the short-as-it-can-be infusion with no big waits between things, since everything went well on the previous two rounds. We were out of there by 3 in the afternoon and actually home in time for dinner, for once!

I obviously don’t know how these next weeks will go yet–there could be more nausea, likely more trips to the bathroom. I’m all stocked up on the BRAT diet stuff if that hits–bananas, white rice, applesauce (homemade from Honeycrisp apples and so yummy!), and white bread for toast. Foods I’ve been largely avoiding lately thanks to the high carbs, but I’m firmly in the “eat what helps and tastes good” category just now. Also got some crackers and potatoes (which help absorb all the ickies in the belly) and am careful to stay better hydrated this time!

And I have big plans to wear the purple wig to church this coming Sunday. 😉 I had to skip last week because of too-frequent trips to the potty, but here’s hoping that won’t happen this week!

Let’s see, what else has been going on? The physical stuff, starting the new book…and lots of reading! I’m on track to hit my goal of 100 books this year, and I’m really enjoying it. Over the weekend I read the first two books in Gabrielle Meyer’s Timeless series and really loved them! I’m now reading the second Caraval novel, Legendary, and also a reread of The Secret Garden, which I haven’t read since I was ten, LOL. I wanted to have the characters in the novel I’ve just started writing talk about it, though, so needed a refresh. I buzzed through half of it on Tuesday evening and am remembering why I loved it so much as a kid! (And I totally paid $12 for this cute collector’s hardback instead of $6 for a little paperback, because how cute is this??*)

 I think that’s mostly it. My adorable stack of cards keeps growing, and I just have to say a big “Thank you, friends!!” yet again to everyone who has sent these notes of encouragement. I’m so touched at those friends who send a note each week, or for each infusion. I honestly expected it all to taper off after the first infusion, but instead I keep getting what I’m dubbing “encouragement bombs” around each treatment. Brings the happiest sort of tears to my eyes! I love the homemade gifts some of you have taken so much time to create for me, and the thoughtful gifts of tummy-easy candies, the books, the bath and body products, and just all the things that show you care and are remembering me in this time. It means the world! As do all the donations of money and restaurant gift cards and the like. They are making our life so much easier, with all the out of town trips and tired afternoons! (Here’s the link to the official Meal Train, which also has my mailing address for those of you who have asked for it, for sending a card.)

So…yeah. Thank you so much for all the continued prayers, the emails, the Facebook messages, the cards, the gifts, and the support in every possible way. I continue to feel so surrounded by the love of God through His precious children. I know, even when I’m hanging miserably over a toilet, that this the path toward healing and that I am so far from being alone.

I think one of the biggest blessings so far has been getting to talk to others walking this same path (or similar ones). A young woman about my age that I know from our old homeschool group but who I haven’t talked to in years saw my posts and reached out, having just had her own biopsy. She too has cancer, though they caught hers sooner, so she’s having surgery first. It’s been a blessing to get to talk to her and share what I’ve learned about our local system and just be able to answer her questions and walk alongside her–just as so many have been doing for me!

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.

Faith Is a Verb

Faith Is a Verb

When I consider the word faith, I have a major beef with the English language. In English, faith is just a noun. A thing we have.

In Greek, faith has a noun form…made from a VERB form.

Just pause and ponder that for a moment. I know I had to the first time I heard that. FAITH IS A VERB. Like love, like trust, like hope. All of those have both noun and verb forms in English…so why doesn’t faith??

We have believe, but that isn’t quite the same thing. I believe that we have politicians in Washington, but I sure don’t put my faith in them all the time, LOL. I believe that the sun will rise tomorrow (somewhere behind all the rain clouds), but I don’t put my faith in the sun. I believe that my children will do great things, but I don’t have faith that they can save me from my sins.

When we have love, we act in love.
When we have trust, we act in trust.
When we have hope, we act in hope.

And when we have faith, we act in faith.

We love, we trust, we hope…and we faith. There, I’m just going to start using it as a verb. 😉

Because it’s important, isn’t it? It’s important to realize that faith is not just something we hold in our hearts or our minds or our souls, wherever it rightly lives. Faith is something we act on. Faith is something we DO. When we “faith,” we love, trust, and hope in God (ideally, though plenty of people put their faith in other things, obviously). When we “faith,” we share that love, that trust, and that hope with others.

The Ancient Greek word here is πιστεύειν, which we have to translate into English as “I trust”…because there’s no other English word for it. In modern Greek, a form of that word is still used in legal cases for “a trust; a credit.” And those are pretty good synonyms, really.

I trust that God made the universe.
I trust that God sent His Son to earth out of love for me.
I trust that He is good.
I trust that has saved me through the blood of that Son.
I trust that seeking after Him, believing in Him, accepting that sacrifice will lead me to eternity with Him.
I trust that He has my good always in mind.
I trust that there is no valley, no shadow that is beyond His reach.
I trust that He is with me always, even to the end of the age.

I trust that, enough that I’d swear to it legally, enough that I store my treasure in it. I believe that. I faith that.

In English, when we take something “on faith,” we’re admitting that we have no solid, physical evidence, but we’ll act on it anyway. That kinda grates on me as a turn of phrase. Because when we “faith,” when we act on faith, it is not something rooted in our fancies. It’s something of substance. Because faith (the noun) IS the substance of things hoped for. Faith IS the evidence of things unseen.

And it IS those things largely because it DOES. It ACTS. It is a verb.

Which then puts a challenge to us, doesn’t it? Is our faith something we just have…which means we can put it on a shelf, ignore it, forget about it…or is faith something we do?

How are we hoping today? How are we trusting? How are we loving?

How are we faithing?

* Please note that this is an affiliate link. See disclaimer in the footer.