43 Things

43 Things

If you’ve been hanging out here long with me, you’ll know that every year on my birthday, I’ve taken to writing a list of the corresponding number of “things” from the year I just completed that have really shaped me. Sometimes it’s silly products I discovered. Sometimes it’s things I love. Sometimes it’s things I hate. New habits. Discoveries. Achievements.

Most years, I start this list a month or two ahead of my birthday, because putting it together takes a lot of work, y’all. This year, I gave myself two whole weeks. Ahem. Let’s just say it’s been busy around here! But I love looking back over my last year, looking ahead into the year to come, and seeing what really stands out. So I hope you enjoy this little peek into the 43 things that have most shaped me this year too!

1. The End of Chemo!

My last chemo treatment was August 26, 2024, just 12 days after my birthday last year. And boy, was I happy to celebrate that milestone! I had what’s called a “total response” to the chemotherapy, which means that no cancer could be found when they went in for surgery. Big, big praise! I am SO grateful for this life-saving medicine…and also hated every minute of it, LOL. Chemo left me feeling sick for 3-4 months straight, so finishing it definitely deserved the chocolate cake I ate! 😉

2. Compression Socks

Go figure, it was AFTER I’d finished the last round of chemo that I began to retain water. Swollen ankles, painful legs…great fun. And of course, this hit right as I was scheduled to go to Kansas for a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie. So what’s a girl to do but buy some cute Pacas compression socks?

3. KC Writing Retreat

Three weeks after the end of chemo, I was in Kansas, having a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie! We weren’t sure at first if it would work out, but my oncologist told me, “Go!” So I went. And despite swollen legs and ankles, it was so great to get to spend a week with Stephanie, take walks, and focus on writing. I wrote A Likely Story for Guideposts while I was there, which just released!

4. SJC 20th Anniversary Homecoming!

I’m still not sure how it happened. Twenty years? Seriously? I’ve been out of college for twenty years? Apparently so, because as soon as I got home from Kansas, we were heading to Annapolis for Homecoming, celebrating those 20 years with some of our classmates and friends. It was pretty cool to get to be there for this while our daughter’s attending.

Unfortunately, I’d picked up a bug while traveling and was sick the whole weekend. =/ Low-grade fever, sore throat, basically feeling icky and miserable. On the bright side, the fever never got high enough for me to report to the ER (I still had orders to do so if I had a fever over 100.4), and it proved that my immune system was working, LOL.

5. Bilateral Mastectomy

It was a crazy couple weeks. I went from Kansas to Homecoming to surgery two weeks later, and I was very grateful that the bug I’d picked up had worked its way out so we didn’t have to postpone the big surgery.

I blogged at the time about why I was choosing a bilateral (double) mastectomy, and I’m glad I made the choices I did. Even so, it wasn’t what one would call easy. I had a lot of swelling and wasn’t allowed to unwrap my chest for a week. Had to deal with drains, sleep sitting up…several nights I ended up in our cushy leather chair rather than bed. I also discovered that I don’t do well with the meds they gave me. Made me itchy!

Recovery was officially 8 weeks, and though I was back to “normal” routine well before then, it was still uncomfortable at that point. Tissue expanders are not fun!

6. The Me I See

Having that mastectomy led me to muse on my self-image. Looking back on that post now, I can not only nod along but smile to realize that, months later, my self-image is still content. I am the me I chose to be. I am the me who is victorious over cancer. This me is a warrior, and I’ll wear my battle scars with pride.

7. Regrowing!

Hair. I missed my hair, I won’t lie, LOL. And I just wasn’t one of those people who went around in all my bald glory, because I was constantly cold if I did that. But as soon as the hair started regrowing, I was always HOT if I had anything on my head! I’ll be honest–it hasn’t grown as quickly as I’d like and as I’d hoped, LOL. But it came back thick and pretty much exactly like it was before, so yay! At this point, I’m just glad it looks like an intentional style. 😉

8. The Florida Keys

We didn’t get a family vacation last summer, so we decided to take one during Christmas break instead. Of course, we had to go pretty far south to guarantee warm weather in December…so we did. We went ALL the way south! It was our first trip to the Florida Keys, and while it’s not going to become an annual tradition (21 hours of driving), we’re so glad we went! We rented an oceanfront condo, and it was RIGHT on the beach. Such fun!

9. Pelicans

Okay, so the ocean was WAY too calm, LOL. We’re used to Outer Banks of North Carolina waves, and this was like a mill pond! But one thing we LOVED was that we got to watch the pelicans all day. Here’s a video I took one morning (our Morning Prayer app is playing in the background, LOL). So crazy to be able to hear the flapping of their wings against the water!

10. Tropical Christmas

We were in Florida until Dec 21, so naturally, it was full-on Christmas down there. Which was…weird, LOL. To us, it felt like summer vacation. But there we were, in the last full week of Advent. Seeing all the tropical Christmas decorations. It was definitely something that made us smile and laugh!

11. Prayer Garden

At the church near where we stayed in the Keys, they had a gorgeous prayer garden, which was all lit up for Christmas. We went over one evening and enjoyed a beautiful, peaceful hour meandering through all the little alcoves and areas. Photos can never do justice to light displays, but it was quite a sight!

12. ECPA Double Time

Kinda random place to put this one, but not only did I make the ECPA Bestseller list with BOTH of my end-of-year releases, but they were on the list for the same month! That’s definitely a first for me! Both Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor and An Honorable Deception were bestsellers in November 2024!

13. Savannah

On the way home from Florida, we took two nights in Savannah. Though I’d written a book set there, I’d never been in real life, and I had no idea if I would actually like it or not–I’m not a big city person. But oh my gracious! We fell in love! From the gorgeous basilica where we got to celebrate the last Sunday of Advent to the beauty of Forsythe Park decked out for Christmas, we were hooked! We stayed in a historic house right downtown, and it was just delightful. Mostly. Except…

14. Pillow Topper

Worst. Bed. Ever. At the AirBnB in Savannah, I mean. I was about 8 weeks post-op at this point, and the bed was so firm that I literally woke up each night near tears, it hurt so badly. At which point I confessed that our own bed at home was also too firm for me these days, which inspired my darling husband to find a pillow topper while we were still in Savannah, which arrived home right as we did. That first night back in our own bed with that new topper was AMAZING. Best. Bed. Ever. LOL.

15. Books for Christmas

My wishlist was pretty much books. Just books. All books, LOL. So David decided to get them ALL for me. There’s also a box set that didn’t make it into that picture for some reason, but it ended up being 12 books plus that boxset. I’d love to say “a book a month!” but let’s be real here. I’ve already read most of them…and their sequels. Ahem. Because of course he mostly got me first in series, so… (And also pictured here are books I got HIM, hence the number not being what I just claimed. If you cared to count, LOL.) It was a very bookish Christmas! Totally appropriate, as I then launched into writing The Christmas Book Flood. =D

16. Monk Manual

Last year, I got David a planner called the Monk Manual, which he really liked. This year, they came out with a new version that includes calendar spreads, so we both got one. I’ve been using it all year, and though there are things I’d tweak, there is so much I LOVE about this beautiful planner! There are spreads for each month, then weekly planning pages, then weekly reflection pages. The idea behind it is intentionality, gratitude, and reflection. So it’s not just about writing down your to-do list, but also reflecting on how each week went, what you’d like to change or improve, what you’re grateful for…basicaly, incorporating devotional techniques into your planning.

17. Radiation

I needed 15 radiation therapy treatments, which began the day after Christmas and stretched into January, five days a week minus New Year’s Day. As courses of treatment go, this was pretty much bare minimum, and I didn’t have crazy side effects. A bit of a rash (which may have been itchy had it not been where I have no more nerves thanks to surgery, so hey, that worked out! LOL), what looked like a mild sunburn and some discomfort, and the tiredness hit about a week after I finished. Not too bad though! It definitely, however, made me aware of how difficult it often is for those who require more treatments. Mine stopped before things got too burned, but if I’d been one of the people with 30 treatments, it would have been a far different story.

18. Oh My SNOW!

The worst part about radiation in January? Driving through the mountains to get to the hospital! The 90-minute drive takes us through some high elevations known for their grueling winters, and oh my goodness, y’all. It got to the point where even when it said 0% chance of snow, this is what the roads looked like. And since my treatment was at 7 am, we had to leave home no later than 5:30, which meant driving in the DARK and the snow.

Yeah, so, we ended up at a hotel for the last week and several snowy days in the middle week, LOL. Definitely a wise choice. There was a morning in Morgantown where the roads were so bad we opted to walk to the hospital rather than drive it (our hotel was right across the street).

19. Co-Creating with Our Creator – Conference!

I’ve spoken at plenty of writers conferences before, and done visits to things like MomCo groups and historical societies, but in April, I had the joy of a first for me–to be the keynote speaker at a women’s conference in Kansas. One of my P&P ladies, Laura, suggested me to them, and I got to stay with her while I was there. It was a 1-day conference, and the theme was Co-Creating with Our Creator…which I LOVED!! It was such an awesome trip, hanging out with Laura and Julie (another P&P friend who flew in from Texas to join us), talking to these ladies all day about how God created us to be creative in His image, and how it’s worship to honor that. What a joy!

20. Goodbye Lilly =(

Two years ago, we had three cats. We lost Sammy to feline leukemia and Ivy to a tumor in her head within a month of each other, which broke our hearts. But we still had Lilly, who had been the alpha cat…and also the one with health issues that we’d always thought would make her the first to go. She held on, though, and was her usual dominant, happy self even after her human, Xoe, went to college. She adopted me as a replacement, LOL. Well, this spring Lilly was diagnosed with kidney failure. The vets said she could live a while with it, perhaps, but it wasn’t to be. Our precious kitty died on Palm Sunday, and though it was a loss that hit hard, the timing actually made my heart so tender during Holy Week that I could reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus in a whole new way, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. 

It’s strange to be a without a pet now, and David keeps threatening to come home with 17 kittens. For now, though, I’m just not ready for another.

21. Captivated

The ladies at WhiteCrown decided it would be fun to put an anthology of short stories together for National Princess Day in April. We all agreed that we’d write stories set in our WhiteCrown worlds, make them about 10,000 words, and give the anthology away for a month, then take it down and do whatever we liked with our stories.

Mine was Captivated, the story of Seidon’s parents (he’s the hero in Awakened). It was so much fun to explore the people who would have shaped him and put them in a little adventure. And when I put it up as its own thing, I had Xoe do the art for my cover! She was super excited to get to do some mermaid art, and I think she did an amazing job! =)

You can grab it for only 99¢ from my shop (not available anywhere else just now).

22. Another Senior!

At the end of school last year, I looked at the requirements for graduation and said to Rowyn, who’d just finished 10th grade, “You know, you could just graduate next year if you took two extra classes.”

To which he replied, “Why would I want to do that?”

Then, over the summer, he thought it over, apparently. Because as we were ready to begin our school year last August, he said, “I’m going to do it. I’m going to finish this year.” It required doing two English classes, two math classes, history, advanced biology, Italian, and a couple other electives, but the kid was determined. And not only did he finish, but he got the majority of it done by Thanksgiving! (Some of his online classes wouldn’t let him go that fast, LOL, so those he finished up second semester.)

This kid doesn’t like school. He doesn’t like to read. But he’s GOOD at it. So he put his nose to the grindstone, read a book a day, plowed through calculus, and did an amazing job. He doesn’t want to go on to college at the moment, so he’s going to take this year he just “bought” himself to see if he can make money with his video game building. I figure this is the perfect time for him to chase his dreams! He earned it!

23. Graduation!

So of course, that means we had another graduation! I still can’t quite believe my homeschooling career is over. I’ve been doing this since 2009. But for the first time, my August is not being spent arranging and selecting curriculum, building schedules, or registering for classes. Instead, in May I got to watch my baby graduate with our homeschool group and celebrate with his best friends.

24. Book Bans

When I heard that the Naval Academy in Annapolis was told to remove 381 books from their collection this spring, I was horrified. Banning books isn’t cool, yo. I’d just written a whole novel about it. With The Collector of Burned Books fresh in my mind and heart, I shared about this ban on Facebook and Instagram and ended up talking about it in some of my writers’ groups as well.

Now, let’s be clear. I don’t talk politics. And in my mind, this isn’t about politics. This is about books. This is about freedom. This is about philosophy. And books–that’s my lane.

I’ll be honest though. It was a stressful week. Because while 98% of people agreed with my stance and thanked me for sharing and those posts soared to hits and share numbers I’ve never seen on anything else in my life of social media, the 2% of those who disagreed with me were not only vocal but went on the attack. Suddenly I was being called a Nazi for calling this out, and it would be my fault if violence ever comes, because I villainized the people doing the banning. What I did was point out that government-led bans is the first step toward a bad place, and we need to be careful. I stand by that.

So I lost a few readers. And I gained a few readers. I refined my stance. And I won’t apologize for it.

I’m the proud champion of books, even books I hate.

25. Our 2025 Writing Retreat in Arnold, MD

Though Stephanie and I just had our 2024 retreat in September, we wanted to get back on a spring schedule, so in May, we got to do it again! We stayed in Arnold, MD, which is super close to Annapolis (and an airport, LOL, which is why we went there, since it was Stephanie’s turn to fly to me). We got to have dinner with Xoe and one of her friends over the weekend, and after checking out, we learned that the owner of the AirBnB we’d stayed out is in fact a Johnnie (St. John’s alum) too, and the crew coach there now!

I worked on Aflame while I was there, which was a ton of fun. I had pretty much ZERO idea where the story was going, so it was in many ways the least organized I’ve ever been on retreat, discovery all the way. But I had a blast.

26. The BEAST of a Printer

Another totally random placement in list, but yeah. So, in September, we decided to invest in a commercial printer that would allow us to print book edges. I say “invest” because this thing cost more than my daughter’s car, LOL. We had to order it straight from China, and it was supposed to arrive in late October or early November.

It did not. It didn’t arrive until December, the day before we were leaving for Florida. And it is HUGE. The shipping crate it came in weighed hundreds of pounds. We shoved it in a shed while we were away, then came radiation, so it just sat there for a while. We finally got it over to the office…and had to take off the sliding glass door to get it inside. Only to discover it wouldn’t then fit through ANY interior door, so it gets to live in the kitchen of the house we use as our office.

It’s a monster. A beast. And more complicated than any piece of equipment we’ve ever owned. As in, David couldn’t figure it out on his own or just with the manual, because the manual didn’t actually match the software it came with. So the poor guy had to get on live with the team in China one night, starting at 9, and was on with them until they went to lunch at our midnight. By that point, he had a good enough handle that he could figure the rest out. He didn’t get home until 2 a.m.

But he did it! We were finally able to print book edges!

Of course, this beast can do more than that. We can print candles, mugs, totes, posters…you name it. =)

27. ALA

I have dreamed for years of someday attending the American Library Association’s annual convention. I mean, huge convention center filled with books and book lovers? YES, PLEASE! So When Tyndale invited me to come to Philly in June to sign The Collector of Burned Books, I was STOKED.

Naturally, I said to Xoe, “Should I buy a 1940s era dress and hat to wear??” And naturally, she said, “Well, DUH. YES!”

So I went (online) shopping and found two super cute dresses from the same brand. I had no idea what size I’d need, so I bought a small in one design and a medium in another (both used on Poshmark). The small arrived first and barely fit over my hips when unzipped, so I passed that one to 5’1″ size-0 Xoe, whom it fit like a glove. Then prayed the medium would work. And it fit me like a glove! 

I bought a 40s style felt hat from Amazon…which showed up not looking like the image AT ALL. Instead of flat flower petals, it had these “flowers” sticking straight out. So I took the liberty of pulling them off and then redesigning it myself to have the silhouete I preferred. 😉 And I love how it turned out!

I felt tres chic walking through the convention, but not like I was in costume. I got SO MANY compliments, someone saying I was the most fabulously dressed person there, so that made my day. And of course, the whole point was to draw attention to the book. My signing was supposed to start at 11, but there were some people who couldn’t come then and asked if I’d sign books for them early. That was fine with me and the team manning the booth, so I signed a couple copies…and then people just started lining up. So I kept signing. And signing. And signing. We ran out of books. Then we ran out of the ARCs they’d brought “just in case.” 

It was such fun!! The signing, the chatting with librarians, the exploring of the convention center. I’d go back in a heartbeat!

28. Hoopla Collab

Not long before ALA, Hoopla (the library app) invited me to do a collaboration, in which I make a video plugging The Collector of Burned Books and how it’s available on Hoopla for their social media accounts. This sounded super fun, so I filmed it in front of my Paris wall. I also got to meet with Hoopla at ALA, and they told me about their book features too.

A week or so after the book released, a friend of mine reached out to say my book had been front and center in her Hoopla app that morning, so she grabbed it to listen to on vacation. =) It’s just always fun when things work as they should, LOL.

29. Press Run of Awakened

So if you’re not in the publishing world, here’s a crash course in printing. Big publishers like Harvest House, Bethany House, Tyndale, and Guideposts (my publishers) do what’s called press runs. They send a book to a press, that does runs of hundreds to thousands at a time. Printing the books in bulk means the price per book is low.

Our company, however, uses print on demand technology, which prints books one at a time. It allows us to order a case instead of a pallet, which is awesome. Means we don’t have to warehouse our books.

But for Awakened, we knew we were going to do a special edition with printed edges, and we decided a press run would make more sense for it. So we ordered one. And the books turned out BEAUTIFULLY! We were able to add a subtle spot-gloss on the Awakening mark and title on the cover, and the colors just popped so much better than in the print-on-demand version (which we got as a proof from our usual printer too).

But it’s a lot of books, LOL. Hopefully they’ll fly off the shelves, though, when people see…

30. Printed Edges!

As hinted at in the printer one, these took FOREVER (and a day) to figure out fully, but once David had it figured out…WOW! I hope everyone thinks they were worth the wait, because these babies turned out to be so fantastic!!

 31. Read Dangerously

I decided that I would sign The Collector of Burned Books with the challenge of “Read dangerously.” So naturally, I thought that would make a fun design to sell too. 😉 I spent waaaaaay too long designing that bookshelf with actual banned book titles, but I LOVE how it turned out! I’ve been wearing my T-shirt and drinking from my insulated tumbler and just love it!

32. Pact Organic Dresses

Okay, so I’m totally a sucker for Facebook ads. And I frequently get clothes ones, because I’m also a sucker for dresses. 😉 Well, one of these ads led me to Pact, which is all organic cotton. I really liked the style of their dresses, and they all have POCKETS, but they’re also kinda pricey, so…I hemmed and hawed. Eventually they were running a sale, so I splurged and bought one of their A-line midi dresses.

Best. Dress. Ever. It was so comfortable. It had POCKETS. It was cute and fit like a dream.

Not long after I got that first one, I got a new book contract, and celebrating with another new dress seemed totally appropriate. Then more contracts came in, so…yeah. I now have quite a few of these and have been wearing them nearly every day. No regrets!!

33. Coming to the STAGE!

I was super excited when Fidele Youth Dance Company adapted one of our WhiteCrown books by Hannah Currie, Bring Her Home, for the stage a couple years ago. So when Mimi of Fidele reached out to see if I’d be willing to let them do the same for Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor, I was beyond thrilled. My story, as a ballet? My Nutcracker-inspired story as a ballet? Cue all the excited squeals!

I’m sure this will make my list next year too, after I actually go and see the show. But for now, the anticipation itself makes the list! And if you’re in the Colorado Springs area, it would be awesome to meet you there!

34. Frøya Organics Skincare

After chemo and radiation, I looked in the mirror and just saw someone who’d been sick for months. I felt like I’d aged years in the last six months. My skin was dry and lusterless, and I just decided I wanted to pamper my face a bit. So I invested in some skin care from Froya Organics (that I’d also seen ads for on social media, LOL) that is all Nordic balms.

I got their anti-aging set, as well as their acne treatment and joint balm. And I will say this. My skin feels nourished now. I’ve always been prone to (fairly mild but always there) acne, and while it hasn’t eliminated it, it’s made it so that they’re small and last a day rather than a week, which I count as a win. They smell great, they feel great on, and though they claim that the little jars are a 60-day supply, mine have lasted far longer than that (because I don’t honestly remember to use them all every day, LOL). Is it the miracle working stuff they claim? I wouldn’t go that far. But I love it, and I love how my skin feels now.

35. MidJourney VIDEOS!

Last year I was super excited to begin using MidJourney’s AI images, which can help me streamline my design work a ton. I especially loved it for character images…especially for my fantasy world. Because these are things I just DO NOT HAVE without AI. As in, at all. But now I do. Well, recently MidJourney launched their video creation! You start with an image and then give instructions on how to animate it. I’ve done a ton for my fantasy worlds but also for The Collector of Burned Books. So fun!! You can see more of the ones I created on the Fantasy page and the posts and pages linked from there. =D

36. Just…ALL THE BOOKS

So last year was an “easy” year. Moving from Bethany House to Tyndale meant only one full length historical romance instead of 2, and with cancer treatments, that worked out perfectly. I think I turned in four books in 2024. This year, however…ahem. Since my last birthday, I have turned in SEVEN books. And in 2025, it’ll be EIGHT. That’s just…insane. Utter madness. I still have two more due this year, and I have a “bonus” novel halfway done too. What can I say? I love my job, LOL.

37. The END of Cancer Treatments!

So after chemo, I was still getting treatments every three weeks of two of the drugs that had been in the chemo cocktail, but which aren’t chemo. They’re the ones targeted specifically at my type of protein-fed cancer, meant to block it from coming back. I started these during an IV bag shortage after a hurricane last fall, so I was approved to get them as injections instead of infusions. That meant 5 minutes instead of an hour, so suited me fine!

These treatments are designed to take you through one year of treatments, meaning I had eleven of them after the end of chemo. They were pretty much no big deal, aside from taking the trip to Morgantown. I finished up the last of them in May, a week after my one-year anniversary of my first chemo treatment. And that meant that cancer treatments were finally 100% DONE!!!

WOOT!

38. Reconstruction

But of course, reconstruction wasn’t. 😉 I had to wait six months after the completion of radiation for my final surgery, to give my skin and tissue and blood vessels time to heal. I just had that final surgery on July 22. I was SO excited to get those tissue expanders out (not. comfy.), and the surgery itself was easy and the aftermath SO much easier than the mastectomy.

Except that surgery triggered a migraine. It’s been several years since I’ve had one of these, and I didn’t have a prescription for it. Honestly, it took me days to even realize that the incessant headache + incessant nausea was a migraine. I ended up vomiting from it quite a few times (a first for me. Yay.) and it lingered for a week and a half. Not fun, guys. Not fun. I had to back out of an online conference I was supposed to be teaching at, reschedule a Facebook live to celebrate The Collector of Burned Books…yeah.

But I’m SO glad to have this surgery behind me!

39. Hearthlight Crate!

A couple months ago, a lovely young woman reached out to me about a new book box she wanted to create, featuring God-honoring romantasies. There are SO MANY romantasy/fantasy book boxes out there that are gorgeous and fun…but they’re also usually spicy. Hearthlight will be closed door romantasy. She was considering Awakened for her first selection, and I was obviously thrilled about this. Well, she did end up choosing my story for their debut box!

Hearthlight Crate is using the phrase “noblebright book box,” which I love. Gabrielle has an amazing vision and true determination to bring it to life. The box will include a special edition hardcover version of Awakened with a new jacket design with foil accents, endpaper art, probably edge art, maybe a ribbon bookmark…it’s going to be EPIC, guys!! And then fun tie-in objects too, like candles, luxury book marks, maybe resin figures or other art…those details haven’t been finalized. But I am sooooo excited!

Of course, this all depends on the box being funded. Gabrielle has a Kickstarter page built, which isn’t live yet, but you can sign up to be notified when the funding is in process! This is such a cool vision, I plan to donate so I can get ALL the boxes too. =D

Check out Hearthlight Crate on Kickstarter!

40.The Collector of Burned Books

And…The Collector of Burned Books released!!!! Guys, I am so, so excited about this book. It’s a theme I’m passionate about–the link between books, freedom of thought, and freedom. It was in many ways a love letter to my education at St. John’s. It was an exploration of why the freedom to chose our own reading material is so crucial to society. Yet also a look into why people ban or burn books. It’s a romance that I loved diving deep into. But it’s also one of the only books I’ve written that has an appeal way outside my usual “Christian Historical Romance” crowd. I was interviewed about its themes for Psychology Today. At ALA, I had librarians coming up and saying, “Oh, I’ve been seeing this book talked about everywhere!” And it turned out to be far more timely than I expected, given the book banning going on these days by folks on BOTH sides of the political aisle.

Will it be hugely successful? No clue. Obviously I hope and pray so, as I always do. But even if not, writing it changed me. Writing it opened doors. Writing it made me a better person. And I pray that God uses this book however He wills.

41. Fantasy-fantasy-fantasy

So in addition to writing Captivated and Aflame this year, I’ve also spent a lot of my “free” time working on a bonus story for the world, a prequel about the evil First Sea King, Foretold. I’ve gotten a start on the official third book in the series, Aflame. I’ve planned out other shorts and bonus stories, two of which I can’t even talk about yet because they would give away things from the main books, LOL. These books are like vacation for my brain, and I can get lost in my fantasy world for hours on end. I really, really hope readers like this world as much as I do! You can check out most of what I have planned and explore the world on my Fantasy page!

42. The Island …Shop books!

Last year right around my birthday, I turned in The Island Bookshop to Guideposts. It’s a first for me–a contemporary romance with a historical thread, set at one of my favorite places in the world–Avon, NC, in the Outer Banks. Well, The Island Bookshop released this spring/summer (staggered release), and I’m so excited to see the enthusiastic response to this story that’s in some ways a lot lighter than my historicals, but also full of family drama and hard choices. And this spring, I was super excited to sign the contract for the sequel! The Island Bakeshop will release next year. I haven’t written it yet (it’s due in October), but I LOVE the story I came up with for it. If all goes to plan, there will be a third book called The Island Bikeshop too. =)

43. Up to 55 Contracted Books!

I’ve been at this writing thing (professionally) for about 15 years. At first, I was happy to put out a book a year. Then two. But those numbers keep climbing, and when I look at my book list now, I realize that I have 55 books either out or under contract! That’s a lot of books! It is so humbling and exhilarating both to realize that I get to do this thing I love for a living. That it can support our family. That I get to use my words to share what God has taught me and what He keeps on teaching me through the stories He puts on my heart.

I’m so excited to keep working on these stories, and so grateful to YOU for supporting me and speaking life and encouragement into me with your support! Your emails, comments, and notes always make my day!

In summary, 42 was a year of cancer treatmeants…and END of treatments. It was a year of story. It was a year of travel and new experiences. It was a year of risk-taking and learning how to bring new visions to life. It was a year of surgeries and new self-image.

It was a year of blessing. Of renewal. Of celebration.

I have a few ideas of what 43 will include, if things go to plan. And of course, lots of room for surprises and unexpected twists and turns (because when does life NOT include those?). And I am so, so excited to walk forward into it and see what my good, good Father has in store for me next!

One Year

One Year

One year ago, on Monday, May 13, 2024, I had my first chemotherapy infusion.

A few days ago, on Monday, May 19, 2025, I had my last protein-blocking injection. The last cancer treatment. I am DONE.

A couple weeks ago, in mid-April, I got a text from one of my cousins–the one closest to me in age, just a month older than me. It was not a text I ever wanted to see from her. It said, I need to ask you to pray for me please. I had a biopsy done earlier this week on a spot in one of my breasts. The pathology report just came back and it’s not good. Carcinoma.

On the one-year anniversary of me receiving my diagnosis, she had her biopsy done. Two days later, she had her diagnosis. Not a club we ever wanted to be members of together. And not an anniversary we ever wanted to share. But in the days and weeks following, we had so many text conversations. We talked about cancer, about the anger and frustration that hits, when we feel like our bodies–the bodies we’ve tried so hard to take care of with good food and exercise–betray us. We talked about treatment options and surgery decisions…and then we’d share silly memes about random things just to laugh.

When I realized my one-year mark was approaching, I intended to do a reflection on the twelve months that have gone by. I didn’t expect to be walking through it with a friend and relative. And I certainly wouldn’t have wished this upon her. (For reference, her cancer is slow-growing and still small, and her treatment will be much different from mine, likely not even requiring chemo. Praise God! She’s having a lumpectomy today, with radiation to follow.) But you know…somehow this new tragedy just reminds me of God’s faithfulness all the more. Because as I talk through everything with her, I get to look back on it from my perspective now:

Healed.
Delivered.
Thriving.

And I get to remember how His Light led me through every shadow. I get to consider her question of “How has the psychological aspect of mastectomy been for you? Has it been a roller coaster?” with even more perspective than I had when I wrote my “The Me I See” post just a couple weeks post-surgery. This is what I said to her:

“I knew I made the right decision for me. And knowing that left me feeling like this was the me that I chose, the me that has the best chance of being healthy, the me empowered to live a full life.”

When I look back over the past year, it’s with a strange sort of fondness. It’s with gratitude. Don’t misunderstand–I hate cancer. I never want to go through it again, and every decision I made was to improve my chances of never going through it again (rather than “least invasive”). It was physically miserable. I felt sick for three months straight, I was so tired I often had to take two naps a day, and there were countless days when I wished I could just forget all the work that needed done and curl up with a book or a television show and indulge in that misery.

But I met so many amazing people, and getting to see them every three weeks made them friends. I learned so much about the faithfulness of God, and of His Church. I was endlessly encouraged by the love and care of both friends and strangers.  My husband and I grew even closer, our love tunneling deeper into our souls. I had a way to relate to people that I’ve never had before–other members of this club no one ever wants to join. I learned so much, about myself and the world and the cancer itself.

I got through six intense rounds of chemotherapy, spaced three weeks apart.
I got through a bilateral mastectomy with lymph node dissection.
I got through 15 radiation therapy sessions.
I got through an additional 11 injections of the protein-blocking drug geared toward my particular cancer (this was part of the chemo sessions too, but these two drugs don’t make me sick like the chemo did)–that’s what I just finished up.

What’s left now? Final reconstruction in a couple months. And then…then, just check-ups every three months, then six months, then every year.

The last time I met with my oncology team, I was reminded that this particular form of breast cancer, the HER2-positive, protein-fed type, is agressive. It grows fast, and it recurrs more than hormone-fed cancers. I’ll admit it. That reminder sent a pang of fear through me.

I don’t want this to come back. I don’t want to do this again. Please, God, protect me from that. 

I have no real reason to fear. I had a “total response” to chemo, meaning NO cancer cells were found in any scans or in the pathology from surgery. This is best-case-scenario. This means that any cancer cells floating around were likely eliminated as well, which means my chance of recurrence are lower. And the radiation therapy was one more weapon against it. But there are never any guarantees.

There are never guarantees in life. I always knew that, but now I know it in a new way. Now I know that every day, every month, every year is a walk of faith. It’s clinging to His hand and trusting.

Trusting that I’ll stay healthy, yes.
But also trusting that if I don’t, He is no less able. No less God. No less loving.

Trusting that if it’s His will, I could fight this battle again and win. Or fight this battle and end up in His arms. Either way, I will trust. Trust His will. Trust in His best-for-me.

Again, going through it again would obviously not be my will, and I absolutely pray it will never happen.

But I already faced down those fears, last year. Every scan, every test, every unknown was a chance for me to look Death in the face and say, “My Redeemer lives, and I live with Him. In here or in heaven, I live with Him.” Every day of misery was a day to say, “I still have work to do for Him. And when He does call me home, it will be with the trust that someone else will take up that work. But for now? For now, I do the work with what strength He gives me.”

It was not a year I want to repeat. And yet it was a year of profound blessing. It was a year of deeper faith, of greater friendships, of unfathomable love.

As I write this, tears well in the eyes of this girl-who-rarely-cries. Because friends, this year was the worst and the best. This year was fear and salvation. This year was exhaustion and triumph. This year was vulnerability and humility.

And this year is over. The year of cancer, complete. Treatments done.

Now…now I walk. I walk forward, into the rest of my life. I walk with my hand in God’s. And I walk with my eyes trained on those around me, ready to hold out that hand when other diagnoses come. Because they will–they already have. So, so many friends face this.

Last year, I wrote about how “Pink Isn’t My Color” and I will NOT be defined by breast cancer. And that still holds true. I am so much more than cancer. I still claim purple as MY color, not pink. Purple, because it was always the color of my dreams. The color of royalty.

And I am a daughter of the King. That is still my core identity. I am who He made me. Woman, daughter, sister, writer, wife, mom, friend. Survivor. That gets its place on the list, yes. Because while cancer is not part of my identity, fighter is. Warrior is. I didn’t volunteer for the battle, but I waged it, and I pray I waged it well.

Now, I walk this path with a chemo port still in my chest (that stays for a year, grumble grumble) but with no more treatments looming. I walk this path with a body that’s still too weak and joints that have decided to ache and hot flashes that may not go away (apparently in women over 40, chemo often results in menopause. Sometimes it’s temporary and cycles return…sometimes they don’t. We’ll just have to wait and see) and one more surgery to go. The tissue expanders still hurt whenever there’s pressure on them. My pectoral muscles, now over those expanders, still get tight and sore. I still can’t reach to zip up my dresses all the way, like I used to be able to do. My hair is a whopping 2-inches long, and my eyebrows and lashes are thin.

I’m not the same person I was a year ago, in many ways. Physical ways. Mental ways too.

Because though my body is weaker right now, my spirit is stronger. Though I don’t look like the me I was before, I look like the me I fought for. I am changed. And praise God for it.

I don’t know what the future will hold, for me or anyone I love. I don’t know where this year will take me, or the next, or the next. I don’t know if this was my one battle or if someday, I’ll fight it again. I don’t know if I’ll have to stand by the side of people I love to my core and hold their hand as they fight.

But I know that I don’t have to know. I know I am in God’s hand. I know that each day, all I have to do is the work He sets before me.

Praise you, Lord, for every shadow. Praise you for every day of weakness. Praise you for the valley. Praise you for the fear. Praise you for the disappointments. Praise you for the pain.

Because it has allowed me to praise you even more for the Light. To praise you for the strength you give. To praise you for the mountaintops. To praise you for the trust. To praise you for the joys. To praise you for the healing.

Praise you, Lord, for the victory. Not mine–yours. Today, I walk into tomorrow. Because you’ve given me that gift. Help me to walk worthy, Lord. Help me to walk well. Help my tomorrows to be exactly what you want them to be.

Amen.

Last Day of Radiation!

Last Day of Radiation!

Today is January 16. Do you know what that means? It means it’s my last day of radiation therapy for breast cancer! I had 15 sessions beginning December 26, every week day other than New Year’s Day (and no weekends, of course).

It went well, overall. Though getting up at 4:30 every morning and driving the 90 minutes to the hospital through some high elevations with horrible winter weather got old fast, the treatments themselves were easy. I experienced a wee bit of pinkness on my skin and a slightly-itchy rash, but that was pretty much it for side effects. Not too bad!

The weather was definitely the biggest obstacle. We had to get a hotel several times so that I wouldn’t miss treatment, and I used the time to finish up the novella I was writing and get caught up on other work that the commute interrupted. This January has definitely been WINTRY around here! We’ve been having super-cold (for us) temperatures, with the lows often in the single digits and only one day above freezing in weeks, which means the snow we got nearly two weeks ago is still lingering…and though the forecast kept insisting there was 0% chance of precipitation even in the high elevations last week, we in fact drove through white-outs and horrible roads that had me joking about hiring a dog sled team. (Image below is what was supposed to be a 3-lane highway…)

Instead, we just got another hotel room for the last few days, and I have zero regrets! It snowed again yesterday despite not calling for it, and I’m very glad we weren’t driving through it in the dark on those sketchy mountain roads.

This marks the end of the BIG treatments. I still have 6 immonutherapy injections to go (these are every three weeks), but they’re no big deal–it takes 5 minutes and I have zero side effects from them. Final reconstruction surgery is also in my future–when that happens depends entirely upon how quickly my skin recovers from radiation.

But the completion of radiation therapy brings me one MAJOR step closer to being DONE with cancer treatment! And that is a cause for celebration!

Thank you all for the prayers that have been offered to our Lord on my behalf!

A Super-Hero Christmas

A Super-Hero Christmas

A year ago, I certainly wouldn’t have dreamed that Christmas 2024 would see me at the Cancer Institute, getting radiation therapy. For that matter, even when I was diagnosed back in April, I fully expected to be done with all treatment by now.

But…no. LOL.

The way the schedule worked out, and thanks to us scheduling a vacation for December 14-21 (since we couldn’t take one over the summer, we had to wait for another big break for our daughter), radiation got pushed back until “after the holidays,” they said. Turns out “after the holidays” means going up on Christmas Eve for a simulation and then starting on December 26th.

I met with my radiation oncologist a few weeks ago and we immediately liked him. He’s the head of the department, which is nice, and has a great sense of humor, which is even better. I jokingly asked him if this would give me super powers, and he didn’t miss a beat. He said, “Well, we can’t rule it out!”

So that’s my new line. I’m totally getting super powers for Christmas. 😉 And if that super power is Remaining Cancer Free, I will be thrilled.

I went up on December 9 to get a scan and make my mold–how they’ll ensure I’m in the exact same place each time. As already mentioned, I’ll have a simulation on Christmas Eve–I keep calling it the Test Run. 😉 But on the Second Day of Christmas, I’ll begin my first day of radiation. I will have 15 sessions total, skipping New Years Day and weekends, and will finish up on January 16.

My appointments are at 7 in the morning, which means early wake-ups for the 90 minute drive, but that’s okay. Xoe will be in until January 5, and I don’t want to miss time with her, so we’re not planning on staying up there or anything. I figure with those early morning appointments, I should be home before my night owl daughter even wakes up! 😉

They said that the most common side effects from this therapy are tiredness (not at the start, but by the end…it’s cumulative) and of course the skin at the sites could burn, so they recommend good lotion. A kind reader already sent me three tubes of medical-grade moisturizer formulated specifically for skin undergoing radiation, so I’m set!

So here we are. Today, I’m lounging on the beach in Marathon, one of the Florida Keys, where I was blessed to find a great deal on a condo through AirBnB. I’m enjoying the sun and the sand and the water and books. Everything for Christmas is set and ready at home. Gifts are bought and wrapped and waiting, the tree is up and decorated, and my mother-in-law is watering it and taking care of the cat. Today, I’m enjoying the trip that we called a celebration of being done with cancer, before we realized I wouldn’t be quite done with the treatments yet. That’s okay. Today, I’m celebrating anyway. We’ll get back home on the 23rd and jump right into Christmas…and that simulation.

And I’m so grateful. So grateful for this time with my family, for this year that took such an unexpected twist but which poured out so many blessings upon me. So grateful for the medical community that knows how to make me well again. So grateful for the Cancer Institute team who has had my back, laughed at my jokes, and rejoiced with me as we beat this thing.

So here we are. Not the circumstances I ever anticipated finding myself in for Christmas of 2024…but ready to enjoy my Super-Hero Christmas and take this last big step toward living cancer free for years to come.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

So Thankful

So Thankful

On this day of gratitude, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with thankfulness. Overwhelmed with blessing. Overwhelmed with the faithfulness of our God.

Last Thanksgiving, I wouldn’t have dreamed that in the year to come, I’d go through cancer. I certainly wouldn’t have thought, had someone told me what was coming, that I’d come out of it feeling so humbled and blessed. Yet here we are. With a long road still ahead of me, but gratitude filling my heart as I look back on where I’ve been.

Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. Thank you for holding me so securely in the palm of your hand that I could not, for even a moment, doubt. I could feel no fear. I could experience only the smallest amount of sorrow. Thank you for bringing me through this, for obliterating the cancer cells from my body, for setting me on a path to full healing.

Thank you, family, for your endless support. For meals cooked and delivered, for the willingness to drive me to appointments, for gas money and check-ins, for loving me through every moment.

Thank you, friends, for your endless prayers. For a mailbox bursting with cards and “encourgement bombs.” For notes and emails that not only brightened my days with promises of those prayers, but which edified me as a writer and a person.

Thank you, strangers, whose names I didn’t recognize but who gave of yourselves, your hearts and your means, to support me in this time, proving that the family of God is bound by love that goes beyond all understanding.

Thank you, Church, for being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Tears are filling my eyes as I’m writing this, reflecting on the year it’s been. It’s a year I don’t want to repeat. A year of sickness and exhaustion and pain, when I focus on the physical. But a year of uncountable blessings too. A year that has left me in awe of this amazing community.

Thank you for being part of my life, part of my journey.

The Me I See

The Me I See

The image I see when I look in the mirror has only rarely matched the image I carry of myself in my mind. I imagine we’re all like that. There are those who see fat or skinny when the world disagrees with them. There are those see young or old, fit or flabby, pretty or ugly. We hear a lot about people who have a negative body image, despite everyone around them thinking of their looks in a very positive light.

I remember back in high school, when I was already dating David, who would become my husband, thinking very frankly about my looks. I knew well I wasn’t super-model material, that I was far from the prettiest girl in my school, even. But I also knew that I was the kind of everyday pretty that, when viewed through the eyes of love, would make someone say I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Something David has said to me countless times over the years. He tells me every day–multiple times a day–that I’m pretty, and he says it in a tone of love and adoration. Never has a day gone by that he didn’t affirm me in this way. My parents have always been so affirming as well.

Maybe that’s why I never lacked for confidence. I know my physical flaws–I have no delusions. And when someone (other than those who love me) are too effusive in their praise, I give them the side-eye. But the me I feel like as I’m going through my day has so little to do with the me I see when I look in the mirror. I feel like I’m exactly who I need to be (most of the time). I feel like the me other people see will reflect that. Is it true? No idea, LOL. But it’s how I’ve gone through life.

Then came cancer. When I responded to losing half my hair within 24 hours by shaving the rest off, the me I saw when I looked in the mirror definitely didn’t match my self-image. Five months later, I still don’t identify as that baldie. 😉 My hair is starting to grow back, and I laugh at how I now look like a balding man, with shiny spots still on top but a nice fringe around the back. My eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned, and I frequently have circles under my eyes (especially after surgery), so when I look in the mirror, I think “Wow, hello, cancer patient!”

But that’s not what I feel like when I’m not looking in the mirror. (Okay, there are days…LOL). I feel like…me. The same person who has always traveled through life with confidence and optimism, even when I probably shouldn’t, by rights. Yes, I get frustrated when the image doesn’t reflect that version of myself. I’m ready to look like me again, and I definitely don’t. But it’s easy to forget, as I’m going about my day. It’s easy to ignore.

Then came surgery. Bilateral mastectomy. Months before I even had the surgery, my physical therapist was writing a referral to get me in with a counselor who specializes in body image. I figured that would be smart, even though I didn’t have negative thoughts about it yet. I haven’t yet actually seen any mental health specialists, though, so these first weeks after surgery, it’s just been me and my family thinking it through.

Can I think myself to tears over the changes to my body? Yes. I did so one night. It was important to grapple with all that will never be the same, to realize that I no longer had the breasts that nursed my children. My husband and I had some long talks about what grieving a part of one’s body really is and looks like. And then…I felt like I had permission to just be me again. To be curious about these changes, and to be curious about how they’d continue to evolve as I go through the very lengthy reconstruction process.

David worried that I was just saying the right words, at one point. Words about how this body is not who I am, about how when I was struck with fear or worry in the weeks leading up to surgery, I’d make a concerted effort to pray. He was baffled at “how okay” I was. Was I just in denial? Was I not grieving properly? That would be when I took that night to cry and talk though it all.

In the first week post-surgery, I wasn’t allowed to take off the ace bandage they’d wrapped me in or take off the surgical compression bra, so I hadn’t seen myself. And I’ll admit it–I wasn’t exactly looking forward to that first full look. A few days afterward, my mom asked, “How did you feel when you first saw yourself?” her tone one of worry and love and sympathy.

I kinda laughed. “Well, I don’t exactly like the way it looks…but it’s interesting to see what they did and imagine how it’ll look as I go through the process. It looks funny, but it’s okay.” And I meant it. It’s not hideous. I look at the incisions that will become scars, and I see battle wounds that mean I’m still alive, that I’m reclaiming health.

It’s not the me I feel like, when I look in the mirror. But it rarely is. That’s okay. It’s the me I’ve earned. Just like those stretch marks on my hips tell the story of carrying a child, just like the scar on my ankle tells of rollerskating without socks as a child, just as the curve to my neck tells of too many hours hunched over my keyboard writing books. The bald head says that I’m fighting cancer (and winning!). And this new change just tells part of that ongoing story of claiming health and a future. I can’t hate the thing that will help me achieve that. I can think it looks funny, and I can certainly not love the painful process, but I made the decision with one goal in mind: never going through breast cancer again. I know this doesn’t guarantee it, but it makes it more likely. And so, I celebrate it.

The me I see in the mirror doesn’t match the me I see in mind…and yet, it does. Because the me I see in the mirror is a warrior, one who bears the marks of the battle but is still fighting. Can I pick out all my flaws, all the things I’m eager to see change, all the things I will mitigate with makeup and hats and wigs when I feel like altering that image for a while? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean I don’t also see what lies beneath.

I am the most beautiful woman in the world to the man who loves me. I am a woman of strength and faith in the eyes of my family and friends. I am a mother who shows her children that we can fight and win whatever battles life throws at us.

I am a daughter of God, precious in His sight.

The me I see in the mirror matches none of my ideals of beauty. But the me I see in the mirror is beautiful. That reflection tells part of my story–and my reaction to it tells another part.

I daresay when you look in the mirror, you don’t see exactly what you wish you looked like either. But your reflection is part of your story. You have earned every curve, every dip, every scar, every freckle, every wrinkle, every line. You are exactly the you that God created in His image, and you are loved. You are beautiful. You are you.

The image that greets us in the mirror is part of us…but we are so much more than our image alone. We are His image. And that makes us all beyond compare.