Okay, Roseanna. You’re getting a little too literal here. Last year you chose the word choose. And this year, your word is WORD?

Yeah, I know. A little too on the nose, as my husband laughingly said. But bear with me, LOL.

I sat down last Saturday to prayerfully consider my word, and I decided to start the day with the liturgical readings. December 27 is the feast day of St. John the Apostle…as in, the Gospel and Letter writer. John, known for his poetic opening lines that we all know so well:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was in the beginning with God. ³ All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. ⁴ In him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. … ¹⁴ And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Other options on my shortlist were rejoice, peace, light-bearer, and reflect. All things I saw in that scripture reading, all things which resonated with that pivotal word: the Word. The logos, as it is in Greek–a word with so complex a meaning that its entry in the lexicon is pages long.

Word. We might think of it as something simple–but it is far from it. It’s a creative force, the thing by which, the person through which, the entirety of the universe was created.

Words. Those things as critical to me as air. The things through which we communicate not only with each other but with God. The things by which I make my living.

I love words. This is no surprise. I am a self-proclaimed “word nerd.” I love the history of words, those etymologies I bring you every Monday. I love playing with them, finding new turns of phrase, using them to bring people and places and events to life for my readers.

But as I considered choosing such an obvious word as WORD for my “word of the year” (see how many times I had to use it just in that sentence? LOL. RIDICULOUS!), I nearly dismissed it for its lack of subtlety…but couldn’t, because it summed up what I want my focus to be this year.

I plan to write a LOT. I plan to read a lot. This is a given.

But as I’m writing and reading, I don’t want my focus only to be on my words. I want my focus to be on the Word I’m striving to reflect. The Word who shone in the darkness and who made me to be His light-bearer too, casting His light into all the dark places in our own hearts–in my heart. I want to cling to the Word who breathes peace into my heart even through troubles and travails and hard seasons. I want to shout the Word who puts joy in my heart and encourages me to rejoice in all things.

He is the Word of joy, of peace, of light that we are to carry forth and reflect.

So yes, for a writer, choosing WORD as my “word of the year” might seem like overkill. But as I write at least 7 books in the next calendar year (quite likely more), there are going to be a lot of words spilling out of my mind, through my fingers, and onto the page. Words that I hope entertain you, yes. Words that I hope keep you company and make you smile.

But this year, as I’ll yet again be going through cancer treatments, I’m keenly aware of how important each word I speak, write, pray, read, and think really are.

Our words are how the world knows us. Our words are how our thoughts are shaped; and those thoughts become our beliefs and our actions. Our words are forceful, creative things–and they can also be destructive things.

I want to remain aware of how I’m using all of mine. I want to be sure that all my words are worthy of the Word.

I have long claimed as one of my guiding verses 1 Samuel 3:19, where it says that the Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and “none of his words fell to the ground.”

That has always been my prayer as a writer. That none of my words fall to the ground, useless or destructive. I want my words to edify. To glorify Him.

What better word to guide a year that may well rack up more words in my count than any before?

Lord, let my words be a reflection of Your Word (the Bible) and Your Word (Jesus). May this year be one in which I remain always aware of the power you put in each of our hands with this gift of speech, of writing. 

May 2026 be a year of light shining in the darkness. A year in which He speaks peace into our lives and hearts. A year of praises sung to Him, with shouts of the words “Glory!” and “Hallelujah!” May each word we choose to let into our lives be ones of edification…words worthy of the Word.

Have you chosen a Word of the Year for 2026? I’d love for you to share it with me!

Usually I do my Reflection on my Word of the Year on the last Thursday of the year…but with New Year’s being on Thursday, that’s when I have new Word of the Year post, so I decided to put this on the last Monday instead. (Because I sure wasn’t going to do it on Christmas. And, hey, it’s my blog and I make the rules. Right? LOL. Had to remind myself of that…)

On January 1, 2025, I shared what words I had prayerfully considered for 2025, and how I landed on choose…and chosen. I ended the post with these thoughts:

There will always be things beyond our control–I know that better now than ever. But I also know that my choices still matter, even in those times.

I will choose joy. I will choose faith. I will choose relationships. I will choose love. I will choose dreams that honor God. I will choose helping others. I will choose the things that last.

I shared how, in 2024 (which shall forever be known in my life as The Year of Cancer Treatments), I became so aware of all the things we don’t get to choose in life…but how even in them, what we do get to choose is more important than ever. I shared how the choices I made for my health were all with the goal of not going through cancer again. I shared how I’d learned anew in 2024 and wanted to carry with deliberation into 2025 how crucial it is that we choose our responses, our priorities, and even our dreams with wisdom and prayer.

It’s now the end of the year. How did I do with this word?

Well, I’ll admit it–when I realized the end of the year was coming, and hence this reflection post, I stared blankly at my screen and thought, “What was my word? Seriously, what was my word? I have no idea.”

Insert headslap here.

It’s not uncommon for me to have to remind myself throughout the year of what it was. With the exception of Intentional, it’s never as front-and-center as I hope it will be, at least not consciously. But I can usually jog my memory pretty easily and pull it out, dust it off. This year…nope. I had to look it up.

But in my defense, that’s because it’s been a crazy last quarter, LOL. And when I did look it up and went, “Oh, yeah…riiiiiiight,” I could also smile. Because even though I’d forgotten Choose was my word, I never forgot the importance of choosing, just as I’d laid out in my January 1st post.

I had, in that post, a list of bullet points of things we get to choose, no matter what:

• I get to choose my reactions to each situation and circumstance.
• I get to choose my own priorities.
• I get to choose to find joy and delight.
• I get to choose who and what I will welcome into my daily routine.
• I get to choose on what I’ll ponder and dwell and meditate.
• I get to choose to remain faithful to God and His calling, to my friends and family, to my own dreams.
• I get to choose where and how I’ll stretch toward bigger dreams, more challenges, and distant goals.
• I get to choose when to rest and how to do it.

Choosing my reactions is something I’ve thought a lot about over a lot of years, and certainly something that remained at the forefront of my mind and heart in 2025. There were the “little” things–choosing my reaction when my 19-year-old daughter said she might get a tattoo. Choosing my reaction when editors invited me to different projects. Choosing my reaction when someone doesn’t like one of my stories.

But then, in October, there was the big thing. Choosing my reaction when my doctors informed me I had a tumor in my brain. When they told me I needed brain surgery to remove it. When they told me it was cancer…again.

I knew, as I stood in those moments, that I could not choose to not have a new tumor. But I could choose how I took the news. I could choose what words to use to share it. I could choose whether to be open and vulnerable or closed off. I could choose whether to hope or despair. I could choose to shout, “Why, God? WHY?” or admit, “I don’t want to do this again, Lord…but I know my future is in Your hand.” I could choose to deny this new truth. Or I could choose to let it shape me into who He wants me to be. I could choose not only to seek life but to embrace the perspective that comes with looking possible death in the face.

I chose. I chose faith. I chose hope. I chose vulnerability. I chose gratitude. I chose a new perspective. And friends, it made all the difference. I’m standing here knowing I’ll have treatments again for who-knows-how-long, but with peace in my heart. Certain that whatever happens, God will use it for His glory. At peace. Filled up. Ready to fly into the future on His wings.

Choosing my priorities. I have a lot on my plate. Enough that this was the year my agent replied privately to a book offer with, “Do I need to stage an intervention? Are you okay? This is a lot!” Yeah, Steve…it’s a lot, LOL. But for this season, I’ve chosen to say yes to stories. I’ve chosen to prioritize projects that will allow me to pay for my daughter’s college (ah, reality). I’ve chosen to pack my days to the brim with the things that are the very air I breathe: WORDS.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t dropped balls, especially when unexpected cancer treatments and scans interrupt my lovely schedule. I have. Some of my priorities have shifted through the year, and others have been neglected unintentionally.

But each new week, when I write out my list of things to do by Friday, I am very aware of a new chance to prioritize. To take care of things. To choose my focus.

Some days, I ignore all that. In the week after learning about the tumor, I admit it–I neglected the “things to do” on my list. I re-prioritized on the fly, and I decided that the most important thing I could do was work through this. So I wrote a story I didn’t have to, maybe that I shouldn’t have focused on yet. I choose that, and looking back, it was one of the most joyful ten days of the year. Then, right after learning about a new health crisis. So I don’t regret that choice one bit. It was exactly what I needed to do.

Choosing to find joy and delight. That last one is a prime example of this too, LOL. Now, I’m a naturally cheerful person. I am Optimist Prime. Joy is my default, not something I have to strive for most of the time. So this feels a little like cheating, to actually list it. One of those things I can usually just automatically check off. Yep–joyful! But there are certainly challenges to it day to day, and I think I did a pretty good job of not sitting too long in the dark places, even though I granted them their place, felt through the emotions. And then chose joy once more.

Choosing who and what I welcome into my daily routine. While I admit I haven’t been great at this all year–usually my routines are pretty much determined by that to-do list for the week–I did run a beta test version of a program I’ve called Writers’ Cross Training, which is all about choosing how we balance the important things in our lives day to day. Writing, education, marketing…but also spiritual growth, family life, exercise, and food choices.

I still have some tweaks to make to the program, but going through it with a handful of friends was not only fun but encouraging, as we held each other accountable for twelve weeks and really focused on how we’re meeting the needs of all those different parts of ourselves and our world. How we’re making those daily choices about what to put into our routine, into our day.

I think I need a revisit! 😉

Choosing what I’ll ponder, meditate on, and dwell on. Basically, we get to choose what we think about. And I gotta say, there were quite a few times when worry tried to creep in this year, and I deliberately said, “Nope. You know what I’m going to think about instead?” Usually, spoiler alert, it was stories. 😉 And in those moments, usually my fantasy stories, because there’s something very freeing about thinking about a world so far out of this world. But I also spent plenty of time developing my historical romances and my contemporary characters too!

Choosing to remain faithful to God and His calling, to my friends and family, to my own dreams. I think, when you’ve already focused on the items above, this one comes along for the ride. When I chose faith above worry in the health crisis, that was also a decision to remain faithful to Him. Though it also required asking some questions about how my calling might change–and where it wouldn’t–if. If this new pop-up of cancer was more serious, what would that mean? How would I honor God’s calling if my strength failed? How would I help support my family if I couldn’t keep up the pace I’d set for myself? There aren’t easy, pat answers to these questions, but asking them made me so much more aware of how God permeates every facet of life. How even when we’re weak, He doesn’t just cradle us, He continues to use us to reach others.

Coming off a year of radiation treatments, seven contracted books due, travel for conferences, a reconstruction surgery that looks like it’s failing thanks to that irradiated skin on the right side, the joy of seeing one of my stories on the stage, an AMAZING retreat with my P&P ladies, and a list of books I want to write (and read!) and things I want to do that are infinitely growing and already longer than I am tall…I think I’ve done pretty good on this one. There’s always room for improvement, of course. In all of those things. But I have chosen to pursue them. And in so doing, have also addressed that next one on the list, choosing where to stretch toward bigger dreams, more challenges, and distant goals.

Seven books in a year is a stretch, friends! The most I’d done before cancer was six, and that felt slightly insane. But I said yes to seven because I wanted to take on each individual project, and I’ve managed it! I also have seven slated for 2026, so we’ll see how it goes with infusions every three weeks.

And finally…

Choosing when and how to rest. Sometimes this feels like an indulgence–like when I took two weeks at the beach in September, since those two weeks were cheaper than one week in June, and I used one of them as a writing retreat. Or when I close down the computer with tasks still remaining undone, acknowledging that my mind is done for the day, and head for the couch and a book. When I choose a nap after church rather than some of the “doing” that needs done around the house.

And it also means acknowledging when “rest” looks different. Sometimes (not always!) writing is rest. Sometimes clearing those design projects off my plate before focusing on a writing deadline is rest. Sometimes taking a walk is rest. Sometimes ignoring the book and instead curling up against my husband in front of the fireplace and talking is rest.

Rest isn’t one thing we do. Rest is what, in that moment, will bring peace and allow you to unspool a bit. I’m still not always great at it, I can admit that.

But I must have done a decent job this year. Because while some years I arrive at December burnt out and overwhelmed and desperate for a few weeks off of life as I focus on Christmas, this year I arrived at December with a song on my lips, joy in my heart, ideas bursting, and energy to keep on tackling everything. Some days or weeks still feel overwhelming, but I’ve learned that in those times, it’s more important than ever to step away from the to-do list and rest.

So here we are, at the end of 2025. A year that certainly didn’t go quite how I planned it, but which I still chose to find joy in–and then found that joy far surpassed anything I could have made on my own.

It was a year with an unexpected award, when The Collector of Burned Books won the Christianity Today Fiction Book of the Year award. A year when I first got to see people bringing a story to life with the Fidele Youth Dance Company’s production of Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor. It was a year of viral posts about book bans, hard health news, and new friendships. A year of STORY. A year of laughter. A year of tears.

2025, for all its bad news, was a good year. Looking back over it, tears flood my eyes, but they’re not sad tears. They’re grateful tears. 

I chose. I did. And God met me there. He met in the hardship and He met me in the fear, and He gave me joy instead. He gave me peace. He gave me the promise that the future is always bright when we focus on the Light. And our story is always one of victory when we focus on the Word.

Are you looking for a post about how to choose a Word of the Year? If so, then you’ll want to read this post: How to Choose an Intentional Word of the Year.

This post is about my Word of the Year for 2025, which is CHOOSE. If you’re interested in why I chose choose (ha ha), keep reading! 😉

My 2025 Word of the Year Contenders

As I was on vacation in the Florida Keys the week before Christmas, I pulled out a notebook and started planning for 2025. I wrote out my goals for the year in all my major categories–Writing, Classes, WhiteFire, Personal, and Community. I have a page for my goals and desires for each of these, but I’d already reserved a page before them with some options for my 2025 Word of the Year. I always try to pick something that will apply to ALL parts of my life, something that will govern my year. As I sat on a porch overlooking the gorgeous turquoise waters one morning, this is what I wrote down:

• Restore
• Delight
• Dawn
• Welcome
• Dwell
• Ponder
• Meditate
• Faithful
• Stretch
• Rest
• Chosen/Choose

I had reasons for adding each of these to my list. After last year’s cancer battle, I crave to restore my health. I want to focus on the things that bring me delight, and on finding that delight even in challenging circumstances. I want to look for the dawn to follow this dark time, and I want to welcome both people and things that God puts in front of me this year. I want to dwell on all His blessings and ponder and meditate on His goodness. I want to be faithful to His calling on my life, and I want to stretch myself toward new heights and breadths and widths. After a hard year, I have so many goals on my list that I will also need to prioritize rest in order to avoid burnout or exhaustion.

I added all of those to my list in pretty quick succession, but no one word jumped out at me above the others. As I considered them, though, I realized that there was a concept that undergirded them all. A concept I had already been exploring in 2024. A concept that I wanted to fully embrace in 2025.

My Word of the Year Decision for 2025

The Lord has chosen me, just as He has chosen you. That is the most important thing. I choose to follow the Lord every day, and I get to choose many things in those days. Not what life will dish out–but so much more.

• I get to choose my reactions to each situation and circumstance.
• I get to choose my own priorities.
• I get to choose to find joy and delight.
• I get to choose who and what I will welcome into my daily routine.
• I get to choose on what I’ll ponder and dwell and meditate.
• I get to choose to remain faithful to God and His calling, to my friends and family, to my own dreams.
• I get to choose where and how I’ll stretch toward bigger dreams, more challenges, and distant goals.
• I get to choose when to rest and how to do it.

Fighting cancer last year was something I certainly didn’t ask for, didn’t choose, didn’t want. But over and over again, I realized that in those circumstances that were thrust upon me, there is still so much choice. I chose how to react. I chose to smile through it. I chose to chase after God and look for His hand in each day. I chose a good attitude. I chose to let Him use me. I chose joy. I chose to make my decisions on treatment and surgery based on what gives me the best chances of never going through cancer again (rather than what is easiest in the short-term). I chose to bear His light instead of letting the darkness overwhelm me.

I wrote several posts last year about these choices, and now, looking back on the year, those are the things that still resonate most with me–the things I want to deliberately carry through.

Because there are so many things in life we don’t choose–but even in them, we have so many choices.

We all know that our best-laid plans tend to go awry, and that only the Lord knows what our future path will truly look like. But even in that perpetual uncertainty, there are innumerable choices we make every day, things we often don’t think of as choices. Will you jump out of bed in the morning or roll over and sleep longer? Will you start your day with praise or complaints? Will you make healthy or unhealthy decisions in what you eat? Will you exercise today? Will you use your time wisely? Will you get lost in social media? Will you prioritize your big goals? Will you answer that email? Will you reach out to that friend you haven’t heard from lately? Will you obey that nudge about something that seems silly? Will you put your work aside at the set time or try to push through another task, even if it cuts into rest time? Will you say “yes” or “no” to those responsibilities? Will you prioritize this or that?

We all make so many decisions every day, but all too often, we forget that they are indeed things WE GET TO DECIDE. We forget that we are the ones who said yes to this commitment that is taking up so much of our time, or that we chose to prioritize this responsibility over that far-fetched dream.

In many of my past Word of the Year choices, I chose words that would help me make those decisions–words like Intentional, (Re)Discover, Linger, Devotion, and Promise. This year, I want to focus on the choices themselves, and on an awareness that I’m the one who decides. I can’t blame anyone or anything else when I don’t have time to write if, in fact, I’m just not using the time I have wisely. I can’t resent the responbilities when I’m the one who chose to say yes to them. And what’s more, I can CHOOSE my own attitude when life doesn’t go my way.

It matters, friends. It matters SO MUCH.

Every single doctor I’ve seen in the last year (and boy oh boy, there have been a lot!) commented on my good attitude and what a difference it makes. I give God all the credit for that–He held me so close I couldn’t honestly even consider feeling abandoned or dejected or afraid. But so many people choose the focus on the bad instead of the good. And I’ve certainly done that many times in life too. I want to make sure that in 2025, as I finish up my cancer treatments and most likely will have my final reconstruction surgery, I’m still choosing to make the best of things instead of falling into focusing on the bad. I want to make sure I’m choosing to use my time and energy wisely, that I’m focusing on the people and goals and dreams that will honor God and keep me on the path I want to be on.

Granted, I have more goals than I will likely have time and energy to accomplish, LOL. I will have to choose which ones to give priority. But being AWARE of that choice, realizing that I have to choose how to spend every minute, will help keep me on track.

There will always be things beyond our control–I know that better now than ever. But I also know that my choices still matter, even in those times.

I will choose joy. I will choose faith. I will choose relationships. I will choose love. I will choose dreams that honor God. I will choose helping others. I will choose the things that last.

Are you picking a Word of the Year for 2025?
I’d love to hear yours and why you chose it!

I love to take the last Thursday of the year to reflect on the Word of the Year I’d chosen and evaluate how I did with it. Of course, 2024 did not go how I planned, LOL. So when I pulled up my post from January 1, where I talked about what I hoped to (RE)Discover, I read it with fond smile at my own ignorance of what was to come…and with gratefulness for how everything turned out.

I ended my Word of the Year post on January 1 with this:

What will 2024 bring? I have no idea. But as I walk through the months to come, I intend to do it with a heart of discovery. With eyes open to things old and new. With a creative mind and eager hands and a fearless heart ready to explore and discover whatever God shows me this year.

Honestly, guys, just reading that brings tears to my eyes now. Because I truly had no idea what was coming. I had no idea that the exhaustion I was battling in December, and which continued into the new year, wasn’t just overwhelm or overload…it was cancer. I had no idea that so many of my goals would fall by the wayside as I underwent chemo and surgery.

And yet…

And yet, I still approached it with a heart of discovery. I still approached it with eyes open to things old and new. I clung to creativity and fearlessness and looked on the whole situation with a question of “What will you teach me through this, Lord? How will You show up?” And that wasn’t me. That was God holding me close. God preparing my heart and mind even before I knew what was coming. That was God pouring out His goodness and keeping me safe in the palm of His hand.

On my list of things I wanted to (RE)Discover were the following:

1. Reading
2. Extended family
3. Creativity
4. Responsibility

So how did I do with them all?

1. Reading

Well, I can claim total victory with this goal! 😉 In 2023, I read 54 books, 29 of which were in audio form. I’d noticed last December that I’d somehow lost the ability to just sit with a book in my hands and read, without feeling like I had to pop up every 15 minutes to DO something. I wanted to remedy that and get back to one of my first loves–just sitting and getting lost in a physical book. I set an ambitious goal of 100 books for 2024 and treated it as a priority. Instead of TV, I read. I read historical fiction and fantasy, mostly, but some contemporaries too, and some non-fiction. When I was tired, I read. When I was waiting for an appointment or getting an infusion, I read.

At one point in November, my husband laughingly observed, “You’re reading another book? Didn’t you just finish one this morning?” and I replied, “Hey, I’m not going to get to 100 by sitting around and not reading!” 😉

I used the StoryGraph app to help me keep track, and it let me know if I was on schedule, behind, or ahead. Mostly I stayed on schedule throughout the year. I got behind by 2 or 3 books during the month of September, when I was using that free time to write instead of read, but I caught back up after surgery, when I literally couldn’t do much else.

As of today, I have read 102 books, and I daresay I’ll add a few more to that number by midnight on December 31. I always read more during Christmas week than most other times, since I take off work.

Did you have a reading goal for the year? How many books did you want to tackle? Did you meet your goal?

2. Extended family

I was keenly aware at the end of last year that I’d drifted apart from much of my extended family, and I wanted to remedy that. In January, my paternal grandmother died (we knew it was coming), and I could reflect on the beautiful, complicated, broken grief that came from a beautiful, complicated, broken life. Then, of course, came the painful lump in my breast. Though my instinct is actually to keep that very private and not talk about it to anyone, I made an early decision to involve my family. My mom drove me to my biopsy. When I got the news that it was cancer, David urged me to stop at my parents’ house on my way home and tell them in person instead of via phone call.

Cancer isn’t the way I wanted to reconnect with my extended family, but as I look back on the year and think about this goal, I can see how God used it to do just that. It was such a blessing to feel my family rally around me. To receive meals that they made for me. To get phone calls asking how I was doing, to have them leave voicemails with a group of them praying for me before surgery. I’m an introvert, which is why family gatherings can be draining for me, but this year I knew that when I made the effort, it really mattered, and that no one begrudged it when I had to duck out early because I was exhausted. My sister and I got together for coffee or lunch quite a few times, and it was always such a joy to just enjoy each other.

And speaking of my sister–just need to brag on her a bit. One of her goals for the year was to run her first marathon, and she did it on November 16 in Savannah, Georgia! She did an amazing job with a time of 4 hours, 36 minutes, 54 seconds, which was faster than she expected. We had an impromptu surprise party for her when she got home (just my family, hers, and our parents and grandmother), and I loved hearing her stories and seeing all her pictures. So proud of you, Jen!!

3. Creativity

Boy, I had quite the list of creative things I wanted to do in 2024!

I want to try new things. I want to master the sprayed edges of books. I want to write more fantasy. I want to write novellas and shorts. I want to try my hand at suspense. I want to find new artistic outlets. I want to learn how to do TikTok videos. I want to find ways to redesign my space (preferably for free, ha ha). I want to play the piano more. I want to learn new things.

I did indeed start doing sprayed edges, and it was fun! I was too tired during chemo to keep it up, but I love the ones I did before that, and I used them to launch my TikTok page…which I also neglected after diagnosis, though I hope to pick it back up in 2025.

I didn’t do the extra writing I had hoped to do, but I feel very satisfied with the writing I did. At the start of the year, the only thing that was on my official calendar was one book for Tyndale, The Collector of Burned Books. But contracts from Guideposts popped up throughout the year, so I ended up with three contracted books due, as well as Awakened (my fantasy), which I finished this year and put on the WhiteCrown production calendar. So that ended up being 4 finished books, plus a novella due to Tyndale in spring of 2025 which I wanted to write during this holiday season, since it’s a Christmas story, about Jolabokaflod, the Icelandic “Christmas Book Flood” all about reading books on Christmas Eve…and eating chocolate. 😉

I didn’t play the piano more, but I did do some other artistic things–I made it a point to design some new bookish products each season to make available on my shop through Printify! I did shirts and flags and mugs…so much fun! And I redesigned my space a little–namely, I reorganized Xoe’s shelves attached to the desk I use when she’s not home and made it suitable for a TikTok backdrop. I really love how it turned out!

4. Responsibility

This one was added to the list because at the end of 2023, I was feeling so exhausted and burned out that even the responsibilities I had chosen and which I loved were beginning to wear on me, and I didn’t like the feeling of resentment I began to have for them. I wanted to really embrace the things God had put in my life and which we can chosen.

I will admit that there were days this summer when I was so tired and felt so sick that I didn’t want to do the things that needed done. I wanted to be able to not. But I didn’t have that luxury, so I kept doing. I rested more than usual, yes, but I kept up with my design schedule, with our production and publication schedule, and with my writing schedule.

And you know what? I am so, so glad I did. Having all that to focus on kept me going, kept me from wallowing, and filled me with joy as I ticked off projects. All that bitterness and resentment that came from exhaustion melted away, and I was once again grateful for the responsibilities God has given us.

Conclusion

2024 was not what I expected, and certainly not what I would have chosen. But you know what? In the ways that matter, 2024 was amazing. It showed me so much about the family of God, the Church. It left me feeling overwhelmed with love instead of exhaustion. It buoyed me emotionally and spiritually when the physical may have left me tired.

Perhaps some of the discoveries I made were things I’d have loved to stay ignorant of–like the chemo and radiation and immunotherapy process. But there have been so many blessings in those discoveries too. I rediscovered my love of reading, my family, and my love for what I do.

Did I do everything I had hoped? Nope. But I don’t at all mind having some of those items left to carry over into 2025. I don’t mind that I’ll have to start over on some of them, like that TikTok profile. I don’t mind that I only wrote what I “had” to write.

Because 2024 was indeed a year of discovering and rediscovering. It was a year of encouragement and blessing amidst the trials. And I leave 2024 with more joy in my heart than I probably would have expected had someone told me ahead of time that it would be a year of cancer. Much of it falls into the “let’s not do this again” category…but I have no regrets. No lack of peace. I can look over 2024 and know it was a year well lived, thanks to the faithfulness of our God and His people.

2023 was a hard year. Due to circumstances beyond our control, I not only had 6 manuscripts to turn in and 9 rounds of edits on those manuscripts, but my husband spent quite a big chunk of the second half of the year traveling to Baltimore to help his stepfather after he had a massive stroke, so I did my best to pick up the slack in his usual work too. I did this willingly and freely…but by the time December rolled around, I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Exhausted.

This happened last year too as I struggled through the symptoms of my pituitary tumor, so I guess it shouldn’t have come as a big surprise…but it kinda did. I’d been feeling great this year, even given the circumstances. More creative than I have felt in a decade. Capable of anything. Then came that end of the year crash, which was intense enough that I literally wanted to do nothing, think about nothing, and plan nothing.

One thing about me, though–my disposition just won’t stay “down” for long. 😉 When Stephanie (best friend/critique partner) mentioned talking about our 2024 goals whenever I felt up to it, my spirit perked up. As if that mere mention was enough to remind me that the future was still stretching before me, and that dreaming up ways to fill it was one of my favorite things. The exhaustion began edging back. Joy crept back in. And my thoughts turned to something else I’d been putting off in my tired wreck: choosing my Word of the Year for 2024.

As in the past few years, I decided to do a prayerful consideration and even look at my list of words in my “How to Choose an Intentional Word of the Year” post from 2022. I wasn’t just waiting for something to strike me, I was exploring my own mind and heart and soul…and needs.

This year, I was considering the year to come while still under the shadow of exhaustion from the year closing out, and I knew that I wanted to go a different direction with my Word choice than I have recently. My previous three Words were Intentional, Devotion, and Linger. Each of those choices were meant to guide me in how I approached different aspects of my life and determined to what I gave my time and attention. They were all meant to cut out filler and frill and distractions and center my focus on what mattered most: God, relationships, and my writing.

They did that.

But in 2023, do you know what brought me the most joy in the moments of greatest trial? Exploring new facets of those old loves. Reading new books I wouldn’t usually have picked up; writing stories outside my genre. Trying new things. And even sending Xoe off on her new adventure of college life.

So as I considered a Word to lead me into 2024, I wanted something that captured that. Maybe EXPLORE? Or DISCOVER? Those were my main two contenders, and nothing else felt even remotely right.

I debated for about two weeks which of those two words I wanted to go with, and I decided on Discover largely because of the prefix I could affix to it…because I know well I don’t just want to discover new things. I want to REdiscover old loves too. I want to revitalize relationships I’ve let flag. I want to  rediscover the Roseanna who was slowly worn down this last decade by pituitary issues.

Because you know what phrase I said countless times in 2023, as I wrote more than I’ve ever written and did more than I’ve ever done? “I feel more like myself than I have in years.” And I didn’t realize, before, that I wasn’t feeling like me. Not until “I” returned in a flood. So one of the things I hope for in 2024 is to lean into that. To rediscover the things that once brought me joy but which I’ve set aside in the face of responsibilities and distractions and exhaustion.

First on the list: READING.

I know this sounds strange coming from a person whose whole world is books, but I haven’t been reading for fun as much as I’d like in recent years–so much else to get done first in the day, and then I’m usually so tired in the evenings that the thought of opening a book just made my eyes hurt. Audiobooks have helped quite a lot, and in fact, 29 of the 52 books I’ve read in 2023 were on audio. (!! I hadn’t realized it was such a high percentage until just now!) I don’t intend to give up the audio, but I DO intend to take more time with physical books in my hand this year.

One thing I noticed in this last holiday week, though, was that I’ve gotten out of the habit of just sitting with a book. I had to seriously squelch the instinct to get up and check on this or that or see if someone needed something and just give myself permission to BE THERE, with that bound paper in hand. To enjoy it. To relax into it. I never would have guessed that I’d get so out of practice with something I’ve done for so long! But there you have it. “Getting lost in a book for hours on end” is something I need to rediscover.

Next on the list: EXTENDED FAMILY

I’m a homebody and an introvert, so I’ll be honest: family gatherings cost me. One-on-one is better, but it’s still not without a price to me. I need a day at home to recharge from days that I go out, and if I don’t get them, the strain shows. In recent years with my energy and brain struggles, that cost was higher than I think I even realized. But as 2023 drew to a close, I spent a lot of time thinking about family.

About the grandmothers who won’t be with me forever.

About the sister I’ve drifted away from.

About the cousins I never see.

About the parents who don’t always fit in my schedule.

In the year to come, I don’t just want to say “I’ll spend more time with them.” I’ve said that before. What I instead want to do is reDISCOVER the real joy of those relationships. I’m in some ways the oddball of my family (or as Xoe asked last week, upon returning to our very-rural hometown after months in the urbane Annapolis, “Where did you guys even come from?” LOL), but I want to rediscover how our differences complement each other.

Next up: CREATIVITY

I want to try new things. I want to master the sprayed edges of books. I want to write more fantasy. I want to write novellas and shorts. I want to try my hand at suspense. I want to find new artistic outlets. I want to learn how to do TikTok videos. I want to find ways to redesign my space (preferably for free, ha ha). I want to play the piano more. I want to learn new things.

In this difficult year of 2023, creativity proved a lifeline; in my driest season financially, I found wellsprings of life-giving creative water. I want to cling to that, and to find new wells of it, to rediscover old ones, and to explore new ways to engage with that creative side.

And: RESPONSIBILITY

Maybe that seems like a strange one to put on the list, but seriously. Sometimes it’s SO easy to resent our responsibilities, and that’s where I was a couple of weeks ago, exhausted and burned out and fed up with everything, even the things I love best. But it helped to realize that we CHOSE those responsibilities, in most cases. That God gave us others, yes, but the ones that come from my dreams–the ones tied to our publishing company and my contracts and my design clients–those are all choices I made. And I made them for a reason. I decided to pursue those things because they seemed good and desirable and in keeping with the calling of Christ.

They’re hard sometimes, especially when worldly success doesn’t follow them. And honestly, I don’t always know when God’s calling us away from one and to something new. But I do know that embracing what we don’t feel called to leave behind instead of resenting the time and effort and blood and tears is crucial. I don’t want the things on my checklist to FEEL like things on a checklist, just to be gotten through. I want to remember why I love each and every thing I do. I want to know I’m doing it for God’s glory. I want to cut only what He wants me to cut, and to embrace what He wants me to embrace. I don’t want to be the son in the parable who sighs and complains but does it anyway. I want to be the one He didn’t even include in that story, who agrees right away and does it with joy. (I always found it amusing that Jesus doesn’t even address such a possibility in that parable, LOL.)

What will 2024 bring? I have no idea. But as I walk through the months to come, I intend to do it with a heart of discovery. With eyes open to things old and new. With a creative mind and eager hands and a fearless heart ready to explore and discover whatever God shows me this year.

Have you chosen a word for 2024? I’d love to hear it!