by Roseanna White | Jun 17, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Nine years ago today, I pledged my heart, body, and future to David. The man I loved since I we were 15, the man I knew with all that was in me was The One. Sometimes, I think he’s much more than that.
It seemed an appropriate day to muse (not for the first time, I know) on Love–and to share some of the awesome pictures from our gorgeous beach wedding. =)
Through my life
, I’ve known a lot of love.
That feeling that Mom and Dad will always be there, always encourage, always believe in my dreams–even when those dreams defy convention (like when I get engaged at 17 and married just before I turn 19).
I’ll always have a place on Daddy’s knee.
Mom will always be there carry my burdens with me.
That knowledge that for every storm (like the one that raged up the coast the day before The Day) in life, God sends me a rainbow.
That we have friends and family willing to travel hundreds of miles to share our Joy. And that after traveling all day, they’ll put more hours into decorating the rental house hosting our big day.
Love is looking into David’s eyes and knowing, each and every time, that this is the man God planned for me, and for whom I was planned. Knowing we are perfectly matched, perfectly balanced.
Love is that security that comes with resting my head on his shoulder.
Love is laughing over nothing, rejoicing in each moment.
It’s dancing barefoot in the sand when you forget your shoes for your own wedding (ahem, David!;-)
It’s standing together, beside all those that matter. It’s standing together always, through whatever the years bring you.
These days, love is also cuddling warm little bodies with damp curls pressed against your cheek, it’s helping put on dress-up costumes and pretend to dash powder onto little noses. It’s laughing over toddler knock-knock jokes–and looking over into each other’s eyes and thinking, “This is us. These are ours. This is family.”
Love is building a life on much more than one day. It’s building a life on every day.
Thank you, Lord, for all those you’ve put in my life. For my family, for my friends. For those who have emailed encouragement, who know how to read my heart in the lines that I write.
Thank you most of all for the man who bends over backwards to make my dreams come true–who not only believes in them with me, but who chases them down for me when my legs begin to fail.
David–you’re my everything. Here’s to way more than 9 years to come!
by Roseanna White | Jun 10, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I’m writing a book right now that’s way more spiritually charged, spiritually involved than I imagined it would be. There are a lot of beyond-your-vision battles raging, and that means a lot of Roseanna praying before writing–I so don’t want to get this stuff wrong!
And then this weekend, we had the honor of hosting visitors (a couple and a good friend of theirs) from Ohio who offered to do a faith building and healing service at our church. These people . . . they are so genuine. So humble. They just want to teach what they’ve learned and be the instruments of the Lord. And boy, did I need a good dose of the Spirit.
Ever since a revival swept through our town two years ago, I’ve been keenly aware of how different I am when in touch with the Spirit versus when I let life get in the way. And lately . . . life has been seriously in the way. Which made me not really enjoy the details of my life. My kids were getting on my nerves, I was constantly exhausted, and I couldn’t seem to find the quiet time I needed with God. So I went to this service knowing exactly what I needed from it.
After a while my wonderful hubby took the kids down to the nursery, which let me really listen, really feel. The teaching time ended, and the prayer began. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work. Should I just charge to the front and say, “Pray with me please so I can get the kids home to bed?” No, they asked for someone with a specific issue . . . so I just closed my eyes, prayed, privately and determined to soak up the Spirit–not too hard, since he was saturating the room. And, I’ll admit it, thought, “Well, Lord, you might just have to send one of them back to me if this isn’t enough.”
Then the husband of the couple came over to me. He’d walked by several times, but this time he crouched down and asked, “Can I pray with you? I’m sensing you’re not here for healing but that you have something you need prayer for.”
!!!! I nodded as tears surged (I’m not a cry-er, FYI) and asked if he would pray for rejuvenation. That’s all I said–rejuvenation. But you could see the light go on inside him. He took my hands and prayed for rejuvenation, for rest, for exactly what I needed. And told me I needed to take the time to pray for that every morning, and pray every night for my rest to be sufficient.
Um, yes teacher.
Seriously, ever since then . . . there’s a calm inside where irritation had been. There’s Joy again. And I am so, so grateful that the Spirit always knows exactly what we need and meets us there. There have been times over the years when he swept over me in my dreams and I wake up like this. This time, he came while his servants were here and used them to bless me.
Now I’m praying that my words (mostly thinking of those spiritually-charged chapters I’m writing) can somehow be used to bless others. There is so much to all this stuff, so much I can never quite get a hold on.
How awesome to know I don’t have to get a hold of it all–I just have to hold his hand. He’ll show me how to handle the rest.
by Roseanna White | Jun 3, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Totally Worth It
As conference season warms up, I’m tickled to be a stop on the official ACFW Conference Blog Tour. This is the only conference I’ve had the pleasure of attending thus far, so I can’t really compare it to any others out there. But I can share my excitement and some of what I’ve taken away the two years I’ve gone.
As the wife of a mathematically-minded man who runs three different businesses, things in my house tend to be measured against the Worth It scale—you know what I mean. We spent X amount on this, which led to Y number of sales. Was it worth it? We invested so many hours of work into the project, which led to this much turnaround. Was it worth it?
It didn’t take long to realize Conference had no place on this scale. My first trip, we scrimped and saved and took our family of three out to Dallas. I went to classes, had appointments, made connections—my hubby watched our almost-two-year-old in the room. He wanted definites to come from it—contracts, advances, royalties. I got something much, much better.
First, I met the woman now my agent. Totally clicked with her, and she took my proposal home with her. Two months later, I got that first exciting call as she asked—ASKED!—to represent me. (As if I was gonna say no, right?)
Next, I met an editor who did not end up buying my book, but who took it to committee and fought for it—which she said she doesn’t often do for books she requests from conference meetings.
Naturally, I learned a lot about craft, about the industry, about marketing.
But that wasn’t the best part. The best part was the people. Never in my life had I been in a room so full of people I knew instinctively I could trust. Though arguably we were all there to compete for only a handful of spots those editors and agents had open, we were not competitors. We were sojourners, traveling together on different branches of the same road. Compatriots. Colleagues. Friends.
I got to meet my critique partner for the first time in person. I met a young woman who w
as pregnant (as I was) carrying a red leather bag (as I was), who has since become my best friend and another critter. I met a sweet woman with a gentle disposition who also joined the critique group a couple months later. When we all met up again at ACFW last year, it was like a family reunion with sister, mother, and grandmother (they chose their own designations, I didn’t assign them!).
Have I seen a monetary return on these investments? Um, no. But my life will never be the same. Nowhere else have I ever found what Anne Shirley (of Green Gables) would call such “kindred spirits.” Nowhere else have I been surrounded by so many like minds. Nowhere else have I gotten to immerse myself so completely in the world I want to make my own.
Hope to see everyone there again this year in Indy! I’ll once again be bringing my family—so if you see a prancing princess and a little curly-haired monkey squealing his way after her, those would be mine. My daughter is very excited to go to “comprence,” because she wants “to be a book writer someday too.” (Don’t worry, y’all, I’m not sneaking her into classes, LOL.) I have a feeling my son will be far more interesting in the vroom-vrooms his papa will probably take him to see while in the famous racing town. And Mama—Mama will be soaking up, once again, the sheer delight of being Home.
by Roseanna White | May 27, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I’m sitting on my back porch. The clock just flipped to 7 a.m., and the air’s still cool and scented with honeysuckle. I’m in exercise gear, though I have no intention of exercising–but my aunt passed along a too-cute tank with built in shelf, and it seemed a good alternative to my flimsy nightgown when I decided to come outside.
My son’s playing in a big yellow wagon we use to cart beach toys at the park. Not “with,” mind you–in. The boy’s a monkey. My daughter’s playing with their little toddler bikes in the driveway and peering down to examine ants as they scurry by (as opposed to those days when she runs screaming from any bug, LOL).
I was trying to figure out what to write about this morning and drawing a blank. I’m reach Critical Mass when it comes to parenthood and am hoping for some Me Time soon. Right at this moment I’m feeling just fine, but give me a few hours, and the whining’ll get to me, I’m sure, LOL.
So, not sure I have any great insights today, but here are a couple things I’ve been thinking about this week.
The first comes from Glenn Beck. Whether you agree with his philosophies or not (some I do, some I don’t) he made me sit up and take notice the other day when he called–on national television–for revival. He said, for his millions of viewers to hear, that before the nation could get back on track, the people had to get back to God. I honestly didn’t think I’d see the day when someone had the guts to say that on any TV station that wasn’t strictly religious in nature. So go, Glenn!
The second is from Xoe. Now, she can get an attitude to make a mama want to pull out her hair, but she’s also got one of the sweetest hearts I’ve ever seen. Perfect example: when we were praying last night, she said, “I hope you have a good day tomorrow, God.”
Not sure what might make a day good vs. bad for God, but I think it might have to do with the praises of His people.
I hope He has a great one, too. I’m going to be making a concerted effort to do my part and keep a praise on my tongue.
by Roseanna White | May 20, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
This may be rambling, so we’ll have to see where I go with it–at the moment, I’m not quite sure.
There are times in life when we know absolutely what we have to do. Times when the Lord speaks so clearly, guides so strongly that we have no doubts. We recognize His hand, His touch, and when we obey, we feel His blessing.
Until we don’t. What do we do then?
I’ve come across a lot of devotions and really beautiful essays by some kick-butt believers on this subject–and none of it really helps when you’re actually in the doldrums. Without wind in your sails, you’re just paddling along, and having someone spout some lovely lyrics doesn’t always help and certainly doesn’t keep your muscles from screaming. Right? So what do we do?
Right at this particular moment, I’m not there. But one of my dearest friends just talked to me last night about how her doctor diagnosed her with moderate depression. This didn’t totally surprise me; just made a few things click, like, “Oh, guess that’s why you said you weren’t eating . . . or ever leaving your house . . . or . . .” Still, I’m one of those that thinks often times “depression” is over-diagnosed. Not that people don’t have issues, just that drugs aren’t the cure-all for them. And this friend feels the same way. She told her doctor, “Thanks. Now that I know this isn’t something to brush off, I won’t brush it off anymore. I’ll pull myself together.”
She also realizes she can’t do it alone. She was telling me this at Bible study, which marks one of the first times she’s gotten out to a church function in months, even though every time I talk to her, she says how she needs it. She’s been going out everyday and making sure she’s eating a balanced diet. She’s praying and talking to her friends.
Will it “fix” her? I don’t know. But I know she’s doing the right thing.
But what about the problems me and my writing friends face so often? When we have one success followed by score after score of disappointments? When we know God called us to this career, when we followed His open doors, and somehow ended up here–with abysmal sales numbers and no direction for the future?
In those moments, it’s hard to believe that we were ever right to begin with. Maybe we shouldn’t have followed this path, maybe we made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. We’ve got these plans that seemed inspired, but is anything really going to help?
I don’t know. I really don’t. I think maybe sometimes God leads us to these barren places because we’re not ready for the bounty. I think sometimes it’s to teach us to rely on Him. I think sometimes it just happens because that’s the way of the world–and in those times, it’s not our part to question his leading to begin with, but to put our hand in His, close our eyes, and say, “If it’s your will, let this cup pass from me. I really don’t know how to deal with it. But still–not my will, but yours be done.”
I’m not sure about the Right way to handle these times. But I know that every time I’m in them and cry out, “God, please! Send me something!” He does. Has it been huge contracts and best-selling numbers? Um, no. But it’s been something just as good, if not better. It’s been people who let me know I matter, that my words matter.
Time and again we’re told that publishing is, when it comes down to it, a business. True. But writing is not. Writing’s between the author and God, between the reader and God.
Remembering it–that’s the Right Thing.
by Roseanna White | May 13, 2010 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Giveaway here –
Deb Raney’s Almost Forever
Giveaway of A Stray Drop of Blood – a special Mother’s Day contest at Sunnybank Meandering includes my book and many other awesome prizes. Also, there’s a really awesome interview and giveaway to correspond with the ACFW book club this month, by the book club coordinator Nora St. Laurent. Check it out at Finding Hope Through Fiction!
~*~
So last week I read my first not-glowing feedback on A Stray Drop of Blood. It got me thinking.
A while ago I made the comment to my best friend that I was looking forward to my first negative review because it would make me a “real” author. It would mean my book was really getting out there, into hands other than my friends and acquaintances. Now, granted, this was a deliberately optimistic take on something I was obviously NOT really looking forward to.
And now I know why I wasn’t looking forward to it. It’s not fun to realize that someone doesn’t like your book. It’s hard to separate it from people not liking you.
The optimist in me still sees the bright side, which includes that this wasn’t a full review and hasn’t yet appeared but one place. The optimist also remembers all the glowing reviews I’ve gotten, all the encouragement, and the readers who disagreed with this mediocre rating where it was rated.
It’s also a valuable lesson in both confidence and humility. We’re told, as authors, not to believe our reviews, either the good or the bad, entirely. But to take criticism constructively and always strive to be better. Can we address that thing someone complained about in our next book? Can we do better on that score?
There’s always room for improvement. No one book will be loved by all. I have to come to grips with the fact that even those in my target readership aren’t necessarily going to love it. But I can’t let that get me down. I have to take it and grow and be better.
The question is always how. And the answer is always Him. If I have any talent, it’s from God. If I have any stories, they came from Him. If anyone is touched by my books, it’s because He chose to speak to them.
Who am I to get upset because God has other ways of talking to some people? I’m just so, so grateful that He has blessed me with the commission to offer my hands, offer my words at all. Through my writing I’ve made friends, I’ve had epiphanies, I’ve grown closer to my God and my Savior. That in itself is reason enough to risk the negative.
, I’ve known a lot of love.
Thank you, Lord, for all those you’ve put in my life. For my family, for my friends. For those who have emailed encouragement, who know how to read my heart in the lines that I write.
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.