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by Roseanna White | Nov 1, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
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| Whisperings of Love by William-Adolphe Bouguereau, 1889 |
8 And above all things have fervent love for one another,
for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
~I Peter 4:8
I just read these words in my daily reading time and they struck quite a chord. Perhaps because I’d been pondering that exact thing just yesterday in regards to my kids.
Don’t you just love those things in life that have no clear “this way” or “that way”? That have, in fact, so many varying opinions on which way you should do a thing that you usually just shake your head and go with your gut? Raising kids is definitely one of those things. And in this society where all adult problems are blamed on whether mommy did this when you were little or dad did that…yeah, it can be stressful.
And I confess it. I yell more than I should. I get frustrated. My kids usually have to repeat something four times before I actually get up from my computer to help them with it (hence why they now just stand at my elbow going, “Mommy, I need a drink. Mommy. Mommy. Hey, Mommy, will you get me a drink please?” The magic word always gets my attention, LOL). There are things I wish I did differently, things I no doubt get wrong.
But you know what? At the end of the day, my kids are happy. They’re secure. They understand the values I’m trying to instill, and they know they can stretch their wings and grow in our house. At the end of the day, they know they’re loved. And that, I think, is the most important thing I can give them–because love covers a multitude of sins.
Which is true of any other relationship too, isn’t it? Which may be more profound–because it’s easy to love our kids. It’s easy to love our spouses, our siblings, our parents (sometimes, LOL–easy for me to, because I have awesome ones). But what about the acquaintances? The strangers? The people we don’t like? Our outright enemies?
Loving them isn’t always so easy. Not just when we really don’t like them, but even when we just barely know someone. It’s hard to be moved by a story you’ve never heard. Hard to pray for people you’ve never met. But sometimes that’s exactly what the Lord calls us to do. In this section of I Peter, he says we must be serious and watchful in our prayer. We must love one another, being generous and hospitable with out homes, but most of all with our gifts. We must, always, minister.
A reminder I need. Though I know there are so many out there suffering, I might forget that. I might ignore it. I might whisper a prayer now and then but otherwise go on with my life. The Lord, though, calls me to something more here. He calls me to pray, He calls me to give, He calls me to stretch myself out and share what gifts He has given me with others.
He calls me to love.
And if I do that, the rest will follow. If I do that, then the things I fail at will be covered.
I will never be the perfect daughter, sister, wife, or mother, the best teacher or writer or friend. I will never react as I should all the time. I will never always have the perfect response to life’s trials. But I will love. And that will be my covering.
~*~
Good luck to everyone participating in NaNoWriMo! I just wrote 65K in October, finishing up my manuscript as I was, so will not be joining y’all this year. 😉
by Roseanna White | Oct 25, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
My little girl just turned 7 on Tuesday, and we had her party on Sunday. Both were pretty awesome days, even if it is a little hard to believe that my baby is SEVEN. How did that happen??? 😉
And so, because today I’m hoping to finish up Whispers from the Shadows so am a bit lacking in time, I thought today I’d just show you some of the highlights from the party. Starting, of course, with what took up my entire morning. The cake.
Xoe is dressing up as Frankie Stein from Monster High for Halloween, and the party was a costume party, so for that too. When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted, she said, “Frankie!” And I said, “Really? Are you sure? You don’t want one, like, shaped like a mask or something…?” LOL. But no. She wanted Frankie, so she got Frankie.
Ever painted plaid onto fondant with colored icing? Yeah, fun. A new experience, that one, LOL. As was carving bolts out of marshmallows… But overall, it was a fun cake, and Xoe was tickled, which is what matters.
Decorations combined my idea of “Let’s decorate with costumes!” with my mom’s “Do you want me to bring some pumpkins?” So the answer was obvious–let’s dress the pumpkins up in costume! I don’t have any pictures, it seems, but I did get some of the pumpkins the kids painted. =)
Everyone had a great time–I mean, what kid doesn’t like dressing up in costume?? So it was a great day. And now my last two chapters are calling, so if you’ll excuse me… 😉
by Roseanna White | Oct 18, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
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| Par-tay! (Also known as Luncheon of the Boating Party by Renoir, of course) |
Last week in church, in the course of our conversation in class time, one fella said something that struck me as so very true: God doesn’t want to bless us a little–He wants to bless us completely. He doesn’t want to give us some–He wants to give us everything. But we so often can’t accept it. Won’t accept it. Then sit around wondering why we always seem to lack.
Today is my mother-in-law’s birthday, Sunday is my Xoe’s 7th birthday party, Tuesday her actual day. And as I prepare myself for dinners and cake and fondant and present-wrapping, I have to pause and consider the blessing they are to me.
And as one part of my mind considers those dinners and cakes and fondants and presents, there’s that other part of my mind looking at the outline for my work-in-progress and realizing I’m so, so close to the climax. That if I just had a few solid hours, I could get there. Get ‘er done. Wrap it up.
Some days (many days, LOL), those two sides have some friction. They rub against each other, they cause conflict. Some days (most days), I wish I had nice, neat compartments for them. That Family Time would be an uninterrupted chunk, and that Writing Time would have its own. I find myself wishing for something different, and usually when we wish for something different, it takes the tone of wanting more.
But you know what just hit me? This is the more.
When I was a girl, there were two things I wanted above all: to fall head over heels in love with my Prince Charming and have a family with him, and to write novels. I had no intentions of settling for anything else, and in the clarity of a child’s mind, I never even considered that I may have to do so. And I didn’t. I wrote my books, and I found my love. (Not that I can take credit for that part, mind you. That was all God, bringing me and David together so early in life!)
God has given me my heart’s desires. God, in His love for us, always does. But we have to take them. Accept them. Cherish them. Take care of them. We have to work for them.
Here I sit with my awesome, adorable, crazy-wonderful family—but how easy would it be to lose my focus on what a gift they are and instead complain about how much work they bring me? Here I sit with a growing career, a fabulous agent, an amazing editor, a ton of prospects, and an awesome editing calling with WhiteFire too–but how easy would it be to take a prideful misstep and end up back at square one?
Here I sit with it all–but how often do I complain about being overwhelmed? Short on time, short on energy, short on focus? How many times do we have it all and think we need more–yet neglect or misuse or even just plain not-appreciate what we have?
God wants to give us that crazy-big, over-the-top, filled-to-overflowing blessing. He does. He wants us to be complete, to want for nothing, to be blissfully happy. But He wants us to be all that
in Him. He wants us to take
Joy from the things He gives, not complain when He sends manna that He didn’t also send meat.
We often chant about how God won’t give us more (in terms of challenges or burdens) than we can handle. But you know, that goes for blessings too. He won’t give us more than we can appreciate. He won’t give us more than we can accept from His hands with the right attitude.
So as I go through these last couple weeks of my Busy Month and tackle countless projects, as I dash about, miss some sleep, and occasionally whimper that I need a clone, I’m going to have a new motto.
I have Nothing Less.
Nothing Less than what I need. Nothing Less that what I’ve earned. Nothing Less than what I can handle. Nothing Less than what God has given.
I have Nothing Less than everything. I have Nothing Less than the More I always wanted. I have Nothing Less than a reason to smile, laugh, shout, and be over-the-top, crazy-big, filled-to-overflowing happy.
I have Nothing Less than Him.
by Roseanna White | Oct 11, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
You know how some people never set goals for December because it’s so busy with Christmas stuff? That’s how my October has become. First weekend is Octoberfest at my family’s farm, second weekend is our awesome family reunion, third weekend is my girl-o’s birthday, and the last weekend is always some form of trick-or-treating. And of course, prep for all these things during the week.
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| Punkin’ Chunkin’ at Higsons Farm Octoberfest |
I always know better than to plan anything else on the weekends in this lovely, pumpkin-scented month. But somehow I always manage to fill up the weeks. This year we started Xoe in the Girl Scouts’ Science Discovery Club, we committed to two different Bible studies, and Xoe always goes from ballet one night a week to two in preparation for The Nutcracker this December.
And did I mention I’m trying to finish up a book?
Seems like a lot, but seriously, this is how every October turns out. I distinctly recall last year, we were painting our new/old church’s basement (which naturally fell in October…) and I was ready to pull out my hair. Home school was wearing me down, the book I was trying to write wouldn’t come out right, and I was just feeling overwhelmed and incompetent.
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| Rowyn and my dad giving hayrides at Octoberfest |
This year I’m hanging in there pretty well. I get stressed day-to-day when busyness interferes with my daily goals, but I’ve squeezed it all in somehow. Not saying I deserve a big golden “S” on my chest or anything (I tried to tell Rowyn the other day I was SuperMom, and he looked at me with that “get real” look and said, “No you’re not. You do not have superpowers, Mom.” LOL. Reality check from a 4-year-old!), but I’m feeling more grounded. I’m taking time each day for my devotionals, I’m in a prayer group that helps me keep my focus where it belongs.
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| My girl Xoe (left) and my nieces at Octoberfest |
And I’m having fun. I think that’s a big key. All these many activities going on are all ones I’m excited to take part in. My kids had a blast at Science Discovery, the Bible studies are great groups, and Xoe’s birthday party is going to be a costume party, and she’s super-excited to have a lot of friends coming this year.
And my book is going great, praise be to the Lord. Yes, at this point I’m panicking that I won’t be able to keep it in the right word count, but there’s always trimming. =)
So no startling insights today, but after a sick-day with the boy-o yesterday, and a morning of errands awaiting this morning (must get the ingredients to make my famous Pumpkin Gobs with orange-cream cheese filling!), busyness is on my brain…
What’s your Busy Time? Christmas? Summer? Some random month where everyone in your family decided to be born or get married? 😉 How do you cope with it?
by Roseanna White | Oct 4, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
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| Degas’s The Millinery Shop – don’t ask me what this has to do with my topic today, LOL. I guess hats are a blessing? |
Yesterday as I emailed my best friend, I shared with her a little sermon I’ve been preaching to myself all week. The subject? Blessings–and how we’re not entitled to them. Naturally, I figure if it’s been occupying my thoughts, I must therefore share it with everyone today, LOL.
noun
1. the act or words of a person who blesses.
2. a special favor, mercy, or benefit: the blessings of liberty.
3. a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.
4. the invoking of God’s favor upon a person: The son was denied his father’s blessing.
5. praise; devotion; worship, especially grace said before a meal: The children took turns reciting the blessing.
In my mind, do you know what this makes a blessing? A gift. One given to the person being blessed at no charge, freely. One that ought to be received with grace and gratitude. Certainly when we receive blessings from the Lord, we thank Him for them (or should, right?) and praise Him for His loving kindness and faithfulness.
And when we receive a blessing from another person, we often tell them so, tell them what their gift means to us.
But how often are we like the Israelites in the wilderness? How often do we receive that manna, those blessings, day after day and begin to forget that they’re gifts? That we need to be thankful? That instead of whining for more, we ought to be shouting anew every day, “Wow, amazing! Thank you!”
We get desensitized to the good just as we do to the bad. We start to take long-standing blessings for granted. We go from being amazed by them to expecting them. Then to demanding them. And then to thinking we’re entitled to them, that we deserve them, that, if they stop for a time, we are being neglected or ill-treated or punished.
But we’re not. Seriously, stop and think about it. Were we being punished before those blessings started to flow? No. So if they stop, are we punished then? No. We are simply returning to the status quo. It’s only our perspective that has changed.
Which always reminds me of this part in 1984 where the government has to cut the chocolate ration by, like, two ounces a day or something. (Rationing chocolate! YIKES!) They know the people are going to be upset, so do you remember what they do? First they announce that the ration will be cut by six ounces (okay, I forget the numbers, but you get the idea). The people protest. So they graciously raise it again by four ounces–resulting in the two they needed to cut. And the people rejoice, because they feel like they won back something they had lost, rather than realizing they still came up short.
We do this sort of thing all the time, and in both directions. We can be so far ahead of where we were a short time earlier, but if there’s anything at all we deem negative, backward, then we think we’ve fallen, even if we’re still levels above where we used to be.
But you know what? I think sometimes we need to “lose” something, so that we remember it wasn’t ours to begin with. That it was a gift. That it was a blessing, not an entitlement. We need to remember that sometimes when something is withheld, it isn’t an attack on us. That is isn’t a punishment. That, often, it has nothing to do with us at all. We’re just the hand outheld, waiting for our ration.
A free ration–so who are we to complain if it isn’t delivered one day?
Because when it comes down to it, what am I really entitled to in this world? What do I deserve? What do I have a right to get angry about if it’s withheld? If we’re to trust the framers of the Constitution, it’s pretty basic. Life. Check. Liberty. Check. The pursuit of happiness.
Catch that one? We have the right to the pursuit. Not to the result. That, my friends, often has to be earned. And if it’s given without our earning it…well then, that’s the gift. That’s the free bonus. That’s what ought to make us raise our hands to heaven and shout our thanksgiving.
There are so many things I’m thankful for. And in a normal day, so many things that frustrate me. But this week, I’m working hard to keep them all in perspective. Because God is so, so good to me. I deserve nothing and He gives me everything. I deserve pain and He gives me healing. I deserve to be cast out from Him and He pulls me close.
I’m not entitled to His love or to His blessing. But He gives it. And so do His children. And when they can’t…well then, maybe that’s when I ought to be trying to bless them instead.
by Roseanna White | Sep 27, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
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| High Expectations by Arthur John Elsley |
Tricky things, aren’t they? Expectations. On the one hand, we’re told to expect great things, especially from God. On the other hand, they can lead to disappointment. Take, for example, these two opposite quotes:
I don’t have expectations. Expectations in your life just lead to giant disappointments.
~Michael Landon
High expectations are the key to everything.
~Sam Walton
An obvious split opinion on this topic. =) And I’m not sure where I come down on it, so I figured I’d think my way through it in a post. Because wherever I’ll end up on it ten minutes from now, it’s a topic on my mind after conference.
On the one hand, I will state definitively that it is good and right and necessary to expect great things from the Lord. Honestly, I don’t know that it’s even expectation so much as faith. Trust that He will deliver what He has promised. Which isn’t usually (sometimes, but not usually) specifics–a nice house or fabulous car or fame–its overarching stuff. He promises that He will be sufficient. He promises that He will sustain us. He promises us that no matter how alone we feel, He is beside us. And because of that, we can expect Him to show up when we come to Him with open arms. We can expect to feel Him move in church. We can expect blessing when we follow Him.
But that doesn’t mean the blessing will look like we expect it to, right?
Because conference is on the brain, I’ll use that as an example. There have been years when I felt there was no need to go, and years I felt I should. Did I always see results? Um . . . maybe, eventually. But rarely like I thought I would. From my first conference, I did indeed sign with my top pick agent. From my second, I got a lot of manuscript requests–didn’t sell to anyone I met there though. At least not that book. 😉 Last year I went and came away with a feeling of “What was the point of that?? I don’t regret going, but…”
See, I think when we get a promise from God, a directive that we obey, we form specific expectations. Like if God says, “Go to the conference,” we expect to come home with a feeling of euphoria from having made that awesome connection or even to get a “Yes!” from an editor there. (It’s happened! I’ve seen people leave with contracts!)
But isn’t that kind of putting God in a box? Saying, “You promised You’d move, so obviously it must be this way.” I know that’s what I’ve done. But it just doesn’t work that way.
We have such finite perspectives. We can only see so far ahead. And usually only straight ahead. Our view is colored by our feelings. And while we can’t get away from that, from the way we’re made, God’s asking us to trust Him. Not to give up our expectations . . . but to never give up on our expectations. Does that make sense? To hold tight to them even when we feel disappointed. To hold to Him. To keep knocking, keep beseeching, keep pounding the gates of heaven. And to do that trusting that the promises are still there. That He’s leading us toward a shining mountaintop, even when all we see is the shadow of the valley.
And we also have to realize that sometimes we never see the true effect, though often enough people hear of it years later. So, so often God calls us to a specific place to meet one specific need of someone else. We obey a directive expecting a tangible result for ourselves. And so can be baffled when we see nothing. But who’s to say we didn’t do exactly what He wanted us to do?
We all deal with expectations every single day. Our own, and others’ on us. It’s the way we’re made, and I think it’s a good way. We ought to expect. We ought to desire. We ought to stand up, reach out, and strive for our goals. But we also must let go of specifics, we must relinquish the idea that we know what God intends. We don’t. We can’t.
But we can know, trust, expect that He’s got a better view of our lives from up there than we do down here. And that if we just listen, He’ll lead us through this maze without running into the dead-ends we tend to ram headlong into. And we can also know that if He leads us into one, it’s to meet somebody there. Or, maybe, to get out of the way of something steaming up behind.
Yes, we’re going to be disappointed when we have expectations. But we’re also going to keep following, wondering where the fruition will come. So expect. Believe. And don’t give up.
What are you expecting today? And what should you be?
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Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. Having successfully launched two homeschool grads, she now spends her time writing fiction, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years, as well as a fantasy series and contemporary mysteries and romances. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary. 