by Roseanna White | May 24, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
On Sunday, several families in our home school group got together to celebrate our wee ones’ graduation from kindergarten. My friend Paige put together an amazing ceremony and party, and it was a wonderful, heart-warming time. (Though Xoë was doing a combination of 1st and 2nd grade material this year, so we had rarely thought of her being technically in kindergarten, LOL.)
When we arrived, Paige asked if I’d like to say anything during the ceremony about the school year–I hadn’t considered this so kinda shrugged. Giving a speech wasn’t really on my “Yes, I must do this!” list. 😉 But when it came that time of the ceremony and all the other moms started saying a little something, when I saw the bashful grins on the cute little faces in the front of the room, I knew that wasn’t going to fly. I knew if I kept quiet, in my comfort zone, then Xoë would be upset. She would wonder why her mommy hadn’t said anything about how great she was. She would feel…less.
Obviously, Mama couldn’t have that. 😉 But it was an interesting realization, and one that reminded me again of why so often God uses the analogy of parenthood to help us understand Him and faith. It’s the kind of selfless love, the kind of just-for-you thinking that the Lord demonstrates so perfectly and that we can only occasionally live up to. The kind of love that makes one do what one wouldn’t necessarily want to do, if it were a matter of wanting.
But it isn’t, is it? With love, it’s something way bigger than mere wants. It’s when ultimate will for the good of the one you love takes precedent over smaller desires. That’s the kind of love that led God to grant prayer after prayer for mercy when justice demanded action. The kind of love that makes Him remember His promises even when man doesn’t. And ultimately, it’s the kind of love that resulted in Him sending Jesus to Earth for us, isn’t it?
As I sat there and watched my precious little girl enjoy this milestone with her friends, when I saw her beautiful smile as I told everyone about the things I so appreciate about being her teacher–hearing the insightful questions she asks, the beautiful stories and pictures she comes up with, and the incredible honor of being the one who gets to talk to about all these things with her–I had to thank the Lord for the amazing gift of family, of kids. And of His love, that teaches us how to appreciate them.
by Roseanna White | May 17, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Ever pause to think about how God goes out of His way for us? It’s really kind of baffling–and something I think a lot of us tend to ignore.
I’ve been reading Acts (in two different ways–both in my daily reading and in my daughter’s school reading), and that’s been jumping out at me. In the Gospels, people sought out Jesus. But in Acts, Jesus seeks out them.
Seriously–Saul on the Damascus Road. Ananias and Saul. The eunuch and Philip. Peter and the Roman. The list goes on and on. People whose hearts were primed and ready . . . and a message from the Lord telling someone “Go, talk to this guy. He needs to know about Jesus.”
Wow, just got goosebumps. I mean, I tend to think in terms of the Lord leading us where we need to go, yes, but in more subtle ways. Ways more easily written off as coincidence by those who don’t believe. But there’s nothing subtle about this. Time and time and time again in these founding days of the church, God speaks audibly. Visions happen regularly. Jesus himself gives instruction. Angels visit. And why?
Because people were ready and needed to know about Jesus. Because the guards of the prison needed to believe. Because it wasn’t time yet for the great preachers to be silenced. And so God went out of His way—He sought those who were seeking Him.
People today tend to teach about this with a disclaimer usually phrased as wishful thinking. Who hasn’t heard, “Wouldn’t it have been amazing to see those miracles? I sure wish they happened in the modern church….” “Wouldn’t it be awe-inspiring to see an angel? Not that I ever expect to….” “Well, the Lord doesn’t usually speak that clearly, but you can learn to understand Him….”
True, we can. But I’ve undoubtedly said before that we only see what we believe is possible, that our doubt limits the workings of the Spirit. And why should we doubt that the Lord still cares that much about each addition to His church? He hasn’t changed. Just because it’s spread and grown doesn’t mean it matters less. Why should we never believe that dreams can be visions? After all, when can God speak to us better? And why in the world should angels visit all through history then stop now?
My words for the year were “Thirst and Savor,” but I’m beginning to think that a big part of that process is “Be Amazed,” LOL. Because time and time again, with everything I’ve been reading, God’s been tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Look. See how much I love you? See how much I care about the little things? See how far I’ll go to touch the hearts that yearn for me?”
Are we yearning? If so, then don’t be surprised when He meets us. In ways we might expect, and in ways that make us, like Peter, think it only a dream until we come-to in the streets outside our prison.
And let’s listen. Let’s listen for that voice saying, “Rise up, beloved, and go out–I’ve sent someone to you. They’re expecting to hear about Me from your lips.” Let’s be like Ananias, who may be thinking, “What, him? That guy that has hurt so many of us?” But who says, “Here am I, Lord.”
Here am I. Here are you. And here, praise be to Heaven, is He.
by Roseanna White | May 10, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Yesterday as my best friend Stephanie Morrill and I were chatting about my schedule, I earned a “Whoa! You’re making my head spin. Can you believe it wasn’t that long ago that you were like, ‘I need direction! I have no idea what to work on next!’?”
Definitely not a problem right now, LOL. My schedule is full (over-full, some might say), and though there’s room for some moving-around and improvising, for the first time in my life I’m writing books sold on proposal, under deadline.
Thank you, Lord, that it’s almost summer! That will at least take home school off my daily schedule. Around here we’re very much looking forward to finishing up those last couple weeks of school. =) We have an end-of-the-year party coming up with some of the other little ones from Xoe’s home school group, to make it an extra-special end.
Also this summer, we’ll be getting ready for a move. Not far, just back to the West Virginia side of our area, nearer our parents. Pretty exciting. =) And of course, I’ve got a lot of writing on my summer’s plate.
Where are you right now, as we near the end of the school year? Hard at work? Ready for a summer rest? Are you writers already planning which, if any, conferences you’ll be going to. Are you readers making a list of books to wile away the summer with? I’d love to hear what you’re getting into now!
(Sorry I’m not offering any brilliance or insight today, LOL–I’m still fighting off the cold I got almost two weeks ago, and right now my eyes are puffy and my head aching. This is about all I could manage!)
by Roseanna White | May 3, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Blinders–we all wear them. Those things that keep us from seeing things, or at least from seeing them clearly. With horses, they’re used to keep the animals on track, to keep them from getting distracted. But for us? Hmm . . .
I often find myself with blinders in relation to my writing, especially when I’ve been working hard on a project. In those times, we tend to get too close, too involved. We go cross-eyed. What do you expect when you read through the same three chapters eight times in two days, right? I was just there last week with a proposal I was readying for my agent. “It’s probably rough,” I told her, though I honestly couldn’t be sure. “I can’t really see it at this point.”
Then there’s my house. I can honestly say that after something has been in the same place for a week or so, I just don’t see it anymore–even if that means it never gets puts away, LOL. This is why the mess remains so long here. Mommy just doesn’t pay attention. And the others in my family are even worse about this so . . .
The cure for blinders, in my experience, is distance. After a week or two or away from a project (a month is even better), I can evaluate weak spots and strong spots. I can see where work needs to be done. (In the case of this particular proposal, my agent acted as the distance, showing me where to tweak and otherwise assuring me that, whether I could see it or not, it was ready to be sent.)
The same goes for my house. After a few days away, I come in and go, “Hey, why is that still sitting there? I should put that away . . .” I can see what I haven’t been able to see. Where I need to work. What I need to do.
But what about me? See, I can never get distance from myself, LOL. I can’t take any time away from me. So how do I clear my vision and know where I stand? How can I know where to improve?
It’s tough–and not a new problem. I’ve been reading through the Gospels (just finished the fourth one last week), so I’ve seen over and again all those occasions where Jesus has to call somebody out. Ever stop and really think about the Pharisees? Wonder why they couldn’t just see what He was trying to tell them?
I’ve got to think it might have something to do with this same phenomena. They’d been doing things the same way forever. Had things in the same places. And even if those places were wrong, they were too involved, too much inside it to notice. It took Someone new coming along to point it out.
We can’t get distance from ourselves, no–but we can find some quiet. Some distance from the rest of the world that might be influencing or overwhelming us. We can have some communion with our Lord and say, “Show me, Father. Show me where I am and what I need.”
I can see, right now, what I need in terms of work, in terms of housekeeping (a maid would be nice, LOL)–but as for me? Well, there are the obvious places where I have, ahem, room for improvement. But my prayer today is that Lord shows us each what we really need. That He shows us where we’re strong and where we’re weak. That He whispers His truth in our ear and gives us the ears to hear it. And that doesn’t just mean pointing out where we need to change–sometimes it also means having our eyes opened to where we’re really doing well.
See, blinders don’t just keep us from seeing the truth of what’s bad. Sometimes they can keep us from seeing what we’re doing right too.
Where are yours today?
by Roseanna White | Apr 19, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Last night the semi-finalists of the Genesis Contest (for unpublished authors) were announced. On Monday, the nominees for the Christy (Christian Fiction’s most prestigious award) went public. And as award season gets into full swing, I imagine we’ll see many more lists of potential winners and the results themselves.
I know quite a few of my readers are writers, so I wanted to talk about this today. And if you’re not a writer, you’ve presumably been in competition over something at some point or another, so it should still be relevant for you. 😉
I’ve been blessed with the fulfillment of my dream–I get to write for a living. I’m certainly not bringing in enough to support a family right now, but as a part-time job for a stay at home mom who’s home schooling, it’s a pretty sweet deal. =) So I have what I’d deem success–success defined as doing what I love. And hey, even getting paid for it! LOL
But I’ve never in my life won a writing contest. Never. Never even finaled in one. Even back in the day of short story contests against other middle schoolers, the best I ever did was Honorable Mention. Yet it was my thing. And I was the unquestioned Best at everything in school; valedictorian, first chair clarinetist, drum major . . . and I knew I was a good writer. I knew it, and my teachers all made a point of telling me so.
And yet . . .
A couple years ago I entered the Genesis contest. It was the only unpublished contest I’d ever entered (or have ever), and I entered with very high hopes. They didn’t publicize semi-finalists that year, just finalists, and I saw all the emails from my friends who finaled appeared on my historical list when they got their Call. I sat there, with the phone by my computer. I hoped, and I prayed, and I told myself it was okay, no matter what. That it didn’t determine anything about who I was.
Then when the list went up (absent my name), I went outside and let myself cry for five minutes.
I wanted there to be some reason to it. So when my agent, a week later, submitted the book I’d entered to an editor who really liked it, I got hopeful. See, we couldn’t have submitted had it still been in the contest. But that would have been perfect poetic justice! I could see myself now, winning the published contest instead of the unpublished, going up to make my speech . . .
The book was too like another the line had already contracted, so the editor passed.
I never had another chance at Genesis, because
A Stray Drop of Blood came out, and
Jewel of Persia after that. Right around then I emailed that editor who liked that book I’d entered, to follow up with a question I’d asked a while before, and she said, “Have you checked in with our other editor? She has
Annapolis penciled in.””
Whhhhh….aaaaaa…..ttttt?
Did that Genesis-rejected submission bear fruit after all, by winning over another editor at this house, one who could champion me as a writer when Editor 2 brought
Annapolis to committee? Maybe . . . maybe . . . who knows? But what I can tell you is that
Annapolis was published soon after that.
Of course, now I’m in the realm of published contests. I now know nothing of mine that came out in 2011 was nominated for a Christy, which was no big surprise (though it would have been nice!). There are only two other contests I’d entered, and we’ll see how those go. Am I hopeful? Well yes, a bit.
But you know what? I’m also finally getting to the point where I just don’t care about wins. In part because I learned that one of my all-time favorite authors, Francine Rivers, will not enter a contest and requests her publishers not enter any on her behalf. She’d walked that road while in the ABA and refused to walk it again when she moved to CBA. And I really admire that.
I haven’t gotten any clear direction to avoid contests, and having an “award-winning” before my name would certainly be nice (although I’d be just as happy–even happier!–with “best-selling” LOL), but as I look back on this stuff this week, I have to wonder if I ever will win. Not because of what I write, but because of who I am. Because I’m a competitive person, and staying humble is something I have to focus on to achieve. Because God knows way better than I how I might handle a big win . . . and maybe He doesn’t want that for me.
Is this a lesson in humility for me? Could be, wouldn’t be surprised. But more, there’s a lesson for me about focus and determination. My goal cannot be to write a book that wins awards–it must be to write a book that wins hearts. My determination must be to keep on the path I’ve been set upon no matter how many twists of disappointment, not to keep walking only when flower petals are showering down upon me.
When I was in high school, my cross-country coach had a saying: If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.
Mr. Brown’s wisdom can apply to pretty much anything worth working at, can’t it? It isn’t easy, this thing you’ve been called to do. It has its moments of triumph when you finally cross that finish line, but it also has a lot of moments along the way when you step in a dip and twist your ankle, when a stray tree branch smacks you in the arm, when you can’t seem to draw in enough air to keep those sides from stitching.
No, it isn’t easy. But something else Mr. Brown passed along that will always stick with me is that verse that perfectly sums up both my writing story and this running analogy–we have an Author. We have a Finisher, a Perfecter–and it isn’t us, you know. I might write a book, but I don’t write my own story.
That’s for Him.
I might enter a few contests, but I don’t determine where I finish.
That’s for Him.
And I don’t look at those awards as any kind of goal to reach, not anymore.
That’s for Him.
But I don’t give up. I will run with endurance. And just like with cross country (at which I was never any good, let it be noted, LOL), those races won’t be about winning. They’ll be about growing.
Let us run with endurance this race that is set before us; looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
If you entered the Genesis and indulged in a few moments of tears last night, chin up. And look at me–I didn’t final and was published before quite a few folks who did. And if you did end up on that semi-finalist list, big congratulations! I have friends whose publishing doors were opened by that.
Just know that, no matter where you end up this contest season, your story is your own, between you and God. Win or lose, He knows how to get you where you’re going. And He knows what you need–and what you don’t–along the way.
by Roseanna White | Apr 12, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
As long as I’ve been writing, I’ve been drawing. Back in primary school, whenever I wrote a story I’d illustrate it. Princesses and bunnies and unicorns, singing flowers . . . yep. The norm. 😉 When I started on novels in middle school, I always tried to draw my characters and would play around with sketching book cover designs.
I’m not the artist my sister is, but it wasn’t about that–it was about making a visual for myself. Something to look at, something to inspire me. It’s why I’m liking Pinterest, and it’s also why I’ve been playing a lot over the last year or two with digital design. Am I a rock star at it? No. But I’m learning. And I’m having so much fun!
I’ve started handling the covers for WhiteFire titles, and it’s been like a treat. Gives a break to the word-crafting part of my brain but still lets me be creative. Everyone by now probably knows I designed Sandi Rog’s Walks Alone. I’m also doing Christine Lindsay’s second British Raj (can’t show ya yet because we haven’t done the photo shoot, but plugging in the perfect model shot will be a breeze). And I just tossed together one for our first contemporary that turned out really well. (Haven’t bought the images yet, so no sharing that one either, LOL.)
So last week when Harvest House sent me a cover questionnaire for
Ring of Secrets, I was pretty giddy. I
love this stuff! I got to answer questions about what my characters look like and provide links to images that match what I had in mind. I got to explain the fashion of the day, the setting, the time period. I even got to give them ideas for cover design!! Will they use those ideas? Eh, who knows. But I certainly had fun sharing my thoughts, and my editor had fun reading them and browsing the fashion sites I’d linked to. =)
Yep, in my mind this cover stuff, the images, the sketches are as enjoyable as writing. Well, for the hour or two they take, LOL. I wouldn’t want to do it all day, but I’ve discovered that it fulfills a need for me. Lets me flex my little brain in new ways and create something that I can see, right away. So much fun. And it leads to a book cover. Which is, hands down, one of the best moments of publishing. Opening up that file for the first time and going, “Wow. There she is. My baby. And oh, isn’t she lovely!”
Eagerly awaiting that moment with
Ring of Secrets. Must be patient, must be patient, must be patient . . . =)
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.