by Roseanna White | Jun 21, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
The other day I was reading Romans 8 . . . and coming to the conclusion that it’s one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I know I’ve read it many times before, but it just hit me how much is in this one. And how amazing it is that we get to apply it to our lives.
I was especially hit by Romans 8:11.
But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
WOW. I don’t think I ever really paused to consider that the Spirit–the same Spirit I have in me–is that life-giving, dead-raising force. He raised Jesus from the dead. He breathes life. And He’s in me. Not just coming upon me on occasion, like they recorded in the Old Testament, but dwelling within us.
What excuse do we ever have for feeling dead inside?? We’ve all been there, right? Those days, weeks, months when we can’t feel our faith–and since faith isn’t an emotion, we don’t need to feel it. But there’s something to this thought too–when the Spirit is within us, we cannot be dead. And if we feel we are…? Then something is deceiving us. It could be disease, chemical imbalance…or it could be the enemy of the Spirit whispering lies.
But we need to attune our ears to His truth instead–one of the other things about the Spirit that always made me sit back and go Wow. His job is to provide us with the Truth. With guidance. With comfort. So when He is there within us, so is Truth. And we can be nothing but alive and vital.
Another thing hit me with that–what is alive and vital is growing, always. Am I?
Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes it seems I’ve stagnated. But just like with water, what is stagnant is death. And He is life.
So what do we do when we find ourselves struggling with this? Not feeling like these verses tell us we should? Not able to wrap our minds and hearts around what we know is true but seems so . . . distant?
The answer comes in verse 15.
For you did not receive
the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
Another WOW. The Spirit never wants to make us feel any of those negatives. He wants us to remember that we’ve got a family now, a literally-awesome one. And with Him in us, that gives us certain privileges. Like calling out to the most Holy One and calling him Daddy.
Thank you, Lord, for calling us out of fear, out of death. Thank you for calling us into your family. And thank you for filling us with the very Spirit of Life.
by Roseanna White | Jun 14, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Now hope does not disappoint,because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
~Romans 5:5
Rejection. In the writing industry it’s something we all face, and so it’s something that I’ve written about before. In fact, in February of 2010 I had another post titled “
Thoughtful About . . . Rejection,” all about how the Love Finds You series turned down one of my contemporaries. It was still very fresh when I wrote that . . . so obviously I didn’t know that it would lead to them accepting my historical. Obviously I didn’t know that that was exactly what needed to happen, so that I got the grounding in the genre I love best. Obviously I didn’t know the disappointment wouldn’t last long . . .
And that’s just the thing. We never know, do we? That’s why in Romans 5 Paul can speak so definitively of hope. We never know what’s coming down the road. No one does. But what sets those of faith apart is that we trust in the Engineer who built that road. We know that our tears make us try harder–that trying harder makes us stronger. And that when we’re stronger, we can hope. (To paraphrase verse 3 of that chapter…)
The other day one of my good friends got some bad news. A rejection we really hadn’t expected, one that floored me so had to have been devastating for her. Now, as rejections go, it was a good one–the editor loved her, loved her writing, the book was just too similar to another title. And another editor had already asked her agent to send it over NOW. That’s good…but does it help in the moment?
A little. But, as someone who’s been there, I know well it doesn’t take the pain away, not even by half.
As I talked to my friend, I wished I had magic words to make it all better. I wish I could take a peek into the future so I could tell her how it all worked out. Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean, it would have been great to know, when I pitched an idea to one editor that got promptly shot down last spring, that I shouldn’t have shelved the idea, that another editor would love it so much that she’d break her own rules to get it picked up by her company. (That would be
Ring of Secrets, by the way…)
All I could offer her was the usual. “You’re awesome. And this stinks, but you know, we just don’t know how it’ll end up. I know we thought this would be it, but since it’s not, it just means something else is. Maybe she’ll acquire another one. I mean, no one has ever bought the first thing I pitched them.”
That at least got a chuckle–it’s so very true! Each of my big releases was prefaced by the editor rejecting something else but asking to see more. And as an editor, I can attest to that phenomenon too. WhiteFire just acquired a contemporary title that was the second one I’d seen from someone. It’s a matter of matching.
And it’s a matter of picking yourself up when you fall down and saying, “Okay, well, what else can we do here?”
Never-ever is rejection going to be nice. But we do have a Friend who can peek into the future. And though He doesn’t often just tell us outright how it’s going to work out, He whispers His peace into us, if we pause long enough to hear it. And though sometimes we feel too weary to tread that road any longer, He’s there then too. With His arms stretched out, saying, “Then let me carry you, baby. We’ll get there together.”
Don’t give up. Keep striding, knowing that that bump produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. Knowing that that hope never disappoints–because it’s grounded in something that never shifts, never changes. Something that isn’t subjective, that isn’t a matter of opinion.
It’s grounded in God’s love.
by Roseanna White | Jun 7, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
The advent of summer vacation means that, even though I’d love to be out with my parasol promenading through nature a la the Claude Monet painting here, I’m glued even more to my computer. Trying, trying to get caught up on writing, editing, and design. Trying to get organized. Trying to do what needs to be done and still help the kids have fun.
But you know, there’s always conflict. And when there’s conflict with my kids, I inevitably come away feeling terrible. In short, every time I say “No, I can’t,” and my wee ones pout at me, I feel guilty.
It’s tough. Being a stay-at-home-mom is tough on its own (am I right? Eh, eh? Can I get a “hallelujah”?? LOL). Being a stay-at-home, work-from-home mom sometimes stresses me to the point of banging my head against my desk and pleading with the world for five minutes of SILENCE. Which, of course, then makes me feel guilty for not having enough patience…
But here’s the thing. Moms very rarely have the luxury to just be their kids’ playmates. If I weren’t glued to my computer, I’d be gardening or making homemade pasta (my friend just posted pictures of doing this, and I had one of those “Oh, if only I had time!!!” moments) or making bread or picking up messes or scrubbing spots from my carpet or doing laundry more than once a week (ahem) or… you get the idea. I’d be keeping up with other projects. There’s a reason kids used to run rather free, when it was safe for them to do so–because mothers always have responsibilities.
It happens that my writing-related responsibilities take the priority over organization or homemade-this-and-that-making. And while it’s harder to get the kids involved in it (as opposed to baking, say, which they help me with), I really try. They’re often right beside me, painting or coloring or writing their own stories (okay, not Rowyn yet–but he’ll pretend).
But still, I need some quiet work time. Our current set-up gives me one day a week without the kids. One day–and I often feel guilty over it. I try telling myself that I have no reason to, that it’s not unreasonable, that I need it. Yeah, that never works.
Then I hear that little whisper. I was called to be a mother, yes. And I love my children in ways I never imagined I could love. But I was also called to serve the Lord through the written word. To write books. To help found a publishing company. And those callings require the sacrifice of my time. Daily I have to pray for insight in how to balance it, and if I’m at my computer at all, my kids will say I spend too much time there, LOL. But there it is. If I believe this is my calling, I need to do what needs done to achieve it.
Now, I’m not saying we don’t all run the risk of neglecting one thing in order to pursue another. Sometimes we go too far. But we also all need to be aware that when we are doing what the Lord wants us to do, that’s going to open us to attack. And so we’ll feel jealousy. We’ll feel discouragement.
We’ll feel guilt.
I need to remain forever aware of my kids’ needs and put them, without question, first. But I also need to give them to God and remember that a happy child isn’t one who has her mother’s undivided attention, she’s one who has learned by example to seek after the Lord. My seeking, my obedience, is here. At my desk. With my Bible on my right (and another on my left, and two more on the shelf above me…), my computer under my fingers, and my kids dashing in and out.
Do you ever struggle with balancing the multiple things God has called you to do? Ever feel guilty over it? How do you deal with that?
~*~
On an unrelated note, we finally started a Facebook page for WhiteFire Publishing! (http://www.facebook.com/WhiteFirePublishing) If I haven’t invited you yet or you haven’t found it, please go “like” us! =) And check out that beautiful line-up…
by Roseanna White | May 31, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
As summer approaches and is in effect here for many of us in terms of school and whatnot, I’ve noticed something. Most writers with kids assume they’ll get less done during the summer, with their bundles of energy underfoot. And I can see where this would be the case.
But I home school–so for me, summer is a break from the grind just like it is for the kids. And man, am I hoping to get MORE done!
Since the school year began, I’ve wrapped up one novel that was 75% done when the year started. I’ve written another novel. I’ve edited that first one. I’ve written a novella. I’ve put together something like four different proposals. And I’ve also done quite a bit of editing for WhiteFire titles.
But oh, the work I have piled up that I’d like to tackle this summer! I’ve gotten sidetracked by an unexpected but promising project that’s allowing me to rewrite (again, LOL) my first-ever novel. I worked on that proposal a month ago and now need to work a bit more on it. But I also need to dive into my second Culper Ring book for Harvest House; it’s not due until January, but I want it mostly done by the time the school year rolls back around again.
I’ll also have to edit my Civil War-era book at some point, and that might have to be this summer too. Plus editing for WhiteFire, of course–got some fun projects there. =)
When am I going to do all this? Yeah, um…I don’t know, LOL. And have I mentioned I’m probably moving at the end of summer? Not far, just back to the WV side of the river, but I’m sure that’s going to throw a wrench into my schedule at some point too.
But for today, I have a few hours of quiet, and all I have to do (ahem) is three loads of laundry, clean my house top to bottom, and write. Piece of cake, right? 😉 Seriously, we just finished up our school year yesterday, so this feels like complete freedom. And tomorrow, my fellow-WhiteFire editor and author, critique partner and friend Dina Sleiman is coming up for a visit, so I’m really excited to get to hang out with her. =) (Although that is why I have to clean my house…) And tonight is dress rehearsal for my daughter’s first ballet, which will be performed Saturday and Sunday.
Yeah, busy weekend. And sure to be a busy summer. What big goals do you have?
by Roseanna White | May 24, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
On Sunday, several families in our home school group got together to celebrate our wee ones’ graduation from kindergarten. My friend Paige put together an amazing ceremony and party, and it was a wonderful, heart-warming time. (Though Xoë was doing a combination of 1st and 2nd grade material this year, so we had rarely thought of her being technically in kindergarten, LOL.)
When we arrived, Paige asked if I’d like to say anything during the ceremony about the school year–I hadn’t considered this so kinda shrugged. Giving a speech wasn’t really on my “Yes, I must do this!” list. 😉 But when it came that time of the ceremony and all the other moms started saying a little something, when I saw the bashful grins on the cute little faces in the front of the room, I knew that wasn’t going to fly. I knew if I kept quiet, in my comfort zone, then Xoë would be upset. She would wonder why her mommy hadn’t said anything about how great she was. She would feel…less.
Obviously, Mama couldn’t have that. 😉 But it was an interesting realization, and one that reminded me again of why so often God uses the analogy of parenthood to help us understand Him and faith. It’s the kind of selfless love, the kind of just-for-you thinking that the Lord demonstrates so perfectly and that we can only occasionally live up to. The kind of love that makes one do what one wouldn’t necessarily want to do, if it were a matter of wanting.
But it isn’t, is it? With love, it’s something way bigger than mere wants. It’s when ultimate will for the good of the one you love takes precedent over smaller desires. That’s the kind of love that led God to grant prayer after prayer for mercy when justice demanded action. The kind of love that makes Him remember His promises even when man doesn’t. And ultimately, it’s the kind of love that resulted in Him sending Jesus to Earth for us, isn’t it?
As I sat there and watched my precious little girl enjoy this milestone with her friends, when I saw her beautiful smile as I told everyone about the things I so appreciate about being her teacher–hearing the insightful questions she asks, the beautiful stories and pictures she comes up with, and the incredible honor of being the one who gets to talk to about all these things with her–I had to thank the Lord for the amazing gift of family, of kids. And of His love, that teaches us how to appreciate them.
by Roseanna White | May 17, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Ever pause to think about how God goes out of His way for us? It’s really kind of baffling–and something I think a lot of us tend to ignore.
I’ve been reading Acts (in two different ways–both in my daily reading and in my daughter’s school reading), and that’s been jumping out at me. In the Gospels, people sought out Jesus. But in Acts, Jesus seeks out them.
Seriously–Saul on the Damascus Road. Ananias and Saul. The eunuch and Philip. Peter and the Roman. The list goes on and on. People whose hearts were primed and ready . . . and a message from the Lord telling someone “Go, talk to this guy. He needs to know about Jesus.”
Wow, just got goosebumps. I mean, I tend to think in terms of the Lord leading us where we need to go, yes, but in more subtle ways. Ways more easily written off as coincidence by those who don’t believe. But there’s nothing subtle about this. Time and time and time again in these founding days of the church, God speaks audibly. Visions happen regularly. Jesus himself gives instruction. Angels visit. And why?
Because people were ready and needed to know about Jesus. Because the guards of the prison needed to believe. Because it wasn’t time yet for the great preachers to be silenced. And so God went out of His way—He sought those who were seeking Him.
People today tend to teach about this with a disclaimer usually phrased as wishful thinking. Who hasn’t heard, “Wouldn’t it have been amazing to see those miracles? I sure wish they happened in the modern church….” “Wouldn’t it be awe-inspiring to see an angel? Not that I ever expect to….” “Well, the Lord doesn’t usually speak that clearly, but you can learn to understand Him….”
True, we can. But I’ve undoubtedly said before that we only see what we believe is possible, that our doubt limits the workings of the Spirit. And why should we doubt that the Lord still cares that much about each addition to His church? He hasn’t changed. Just because it’s spread and grown doesn’t mean it matters less. Why should we never believe that dreams can be visions? After all, when can God speak to us better? And why in the world should angels visit all through history then stop now?
My words for the year were “Thirst and Savor,” but I’m beginning to think that a big part of that process is “Be Amazed,” LOL. Because time and time again, with everything I’ve been reading, God’s been tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Look. See how much I love you? See how much I care about the little things? See how far I’ll go to touch the hearts that yearn for me?”
Are we yearning? If so, then don’t be surprised when He meets us. In ways we might expect, and in ways that make us, like Peter, think it only a dream until we come-to in the streets outside our prison.
And let’s listen. Let’s listen for that voice saying, “Rise up, beloved, and go out–I’ve sent someone to you. They’re expecting to hear about Me from your lips.” Let’s be like Ananias, who may be thinking, “What, him? That guy that has hurt so many of us?” But who says, “Here am I, Lord.”
Here am I. Here are you. And here, praise be to Heaven, is He.
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. Having successfully launched two homeschool grads, she now spends her time writing fiction, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years, as well as a fantasy series and contemporary mysteries and romances. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.