by Roseanna White | Jul 19, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
It’s a saying pretty much everyone understands, I’d think. “Keep your eyes on the prize.” Keep your focus on the thing you’re aiming at. The finish line. The trophy. The certificate of achievement. The check-off of your Bucket List.
Keep going. Keep reaching. Keep your aim true.
But what if you’re aiming at the wrong prize?
A couple months ago I blogged about
those Twisty Paths, and how finaling and winning or not in a contest was all part of God’s plan. Well, with more finalists announced on Monday for another big fiction contest, the topic is weighing on me again.
I’m a competitive person. I hate losing and always have. And frankly, I was always one of the best in anything I really put my mind to. I was smart, I was good at art, I could master any subject in school, any instrument. You know the one thing I stank at? Sports. I just wasn’t any good at them, but I wanted to run Cross Country to get in shape. So I joined the team. I did my best. And I never, not once, even came close to winning.
Thank heavens I had an awesome coach, one who understood that keeping your eyes on the prize didn’t always mean winning. He told me that I was competing with myself, with my previous times. That my prize was knowing I was kicking my own rear end. And that when I did that, God was so very proud of me.
So here I am in my career. Faced, again, with the reality of not making the cut in a contest. Am I in tears? Um, no. A little bummed? Sure. But as I sat here contemplating these wins, I heard that whisper again. The one that says, “Is winning your prize? Is a best-seller your prize? Or am I? Is touching hearts for Me?”
So here I sit. Praying with a soul laid bare that He helps me always keep my eyes firmly where they belong. On the prize. The real prize, and the only prize. The one that I can’t put on a shelf or list in my bio. The one that lifts me up on those down days.
Him.
I want to thank each and every one of you who has ever taken the time to send me an email or leave me a comment letting me know my work has had some effect on you. Those, my friends, are how God often speaks to me to say, “See? This is your prize, my daughter. This is your proof that you’re doing well, doing what you ought to be doing.”
And I want to offer sincere congratulations to all the wonderful, gifted authors who are up for these prestigious awards. You have all earned this, and I know God has special plans for using it and you for His glory.
Man-made prizes have their place and I cheer loud as I can when a book I love wins an award. Especially when I know the author and know that their ultimate prize, too, is that “Well done, good and faithful servant” from the Lord.
But for some of us, the ones of us who might get a little too hung up on the glitter and glam of an earthly win, keeping our focus is tough–and necessary. And proof that the Lord knows what’s best for us, even when it brings a little bit of a bummer.
by Roseanna White | Jul 12, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I’ve had a hectic few weeks, and in some ways it’s been a real roller coaster ride. I got good news just to have it nullified two days later. I’ve had to come to grips with a few things, put some things aside for a while–and as someone who always hopes and works for more, that was a toughie.
But even while I’ve mourned the loss of that oh-so-brief good news, I’ve also gotten to enjoy some of the most fun aspects of what I do. On the author side, I enjoyed a nice long chat with my editor, going over revisions for
Ring of Secrets. That was a blast, as we laughed over the silly things that had slipped past me and got into the nitty gritty of the story. She loves it just about as much as I do, so there really was no pain involved.
And on the editor side, I got to have the same sort of conversation in reverse with one of our authors. =) We got to talk over revisions to her ending, weighing some of the different options and talking about her characters and how they’ll best
Shine. I love that!
In the back of my mind there’s still sometimes that lurking disappointment. That realization that I can’t reach further right now—which on the one hand is fine, because I love where I am. But I’ve always been stretching. I’ve always been trying to find the next project and, in recent months, trying to figure out how to balance my commitments. It’s a little weird to realize that for now, that’s not necessary. Oh, I still have plenty to balance with writing and editing and designing and, of course, parenting and home schooling. But still . . .
Yet even as I waited for the phone call that ended up reversing my good news, I finished up the research I’d been doing for my second Culper Ring book. Even as I put aside the project that had been distracting me from it, I got excited about dedicating myself to Gwyneth and Thad. I’m having so much fun getting to work on this one!
And some of the best news ever just came, after all–my best friend/critter and I have officially scheduled a writing retreat for next spring. WOOT! Can’t wait for March!!!
by Roseanna White | Jul 5, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I got it! I got it! My cover for Ring of Secrets has arrived in a share-able version, so naturally today must be spent in sharing (assuming you haven’t already seen it on Facebook).
Exciting!!! Also exciting is that you can pre-order them on Amazon (please “like” the page for me!) and ChristianBook.com.
And the official blurb, to remind you of how much FUN Ring of Secrets is going to be… =)
This exciting romantic spy novel from Roseanna M. White combines
fascinating cloak-and-dagger secrets with a tale of love and intrigue
during the Revolutionary War.
Winter Reeves is an aristocratic
Patriot forced to hide her heart amid the Loyalists of the City of New
York. She has learned to keep her ears open so she can pass information
on British movements to Robbie Townsend, her childhood friend, and his
spy ring. If she’s caught, if she’s hung for espionage…well, she won’t
be. Robbie has taught her the tools of the trade: the wonders of
invisible ink, drop locations and, most importantly, a good cover.
Bennet
Lane returns to New York from his Yale professorship with one goal: to
find General Washington’s spy hidden among the ranks of the elite.
Searching for a wife was supposed to be nothing more than a convenient
cover story for his mission, but when he meets Winter, with her
too-intelligent eyes in her too-blank face, he finds a mystery that
can’t be ignored.
Both believers…and both committed to a
separate cause. Will their faith in God lead them to a shared destiny or
lives lived apart?
by Roseanna White | Jun 28, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
With the fires raging in Colorado, this is a topic on a lot of minds this week. As someone who used to have a major phobia of fire, wildfires are a terrifying thing to me, and my prayers go out to all those affected, both residents and the brave men and women fighting the fires.
But that’s not exactly where I’m going today. 😉 It so happens that in my daily reading, today I got to I Corinthians 3.
12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each
one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it
will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of
what sort it is. 14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
I’ve always been so struck by this. It’s not talking about salvation–we’re saved, Paul makes that clear in verse 15. But, as members of God’s family, we’re given His foundation and then have to build our lives upon it. We’re given our choice of things to build with. Gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw. And then the Lord’s holy fire will test it.
Fire is the theme in one of my two works-in-progress, so I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. It’s one of the four ancient elements, a force that can give life or destroy it. Out in Colorado, it’s wreaking havoc . . . and bringing a lot of people to their knees before God.
Fire refines. It burns away the garbage, burns away the chaff, and leaves purity in its wake. Usually this is in a contained situation, like in refining silver or gold. I would never-ever try to apply it to a wildfire! Don’t mistake me there. But even in the wake of that tragedy, there are those seeds, long dormant, brought to life and let to grow only because they were exposed to the high heat of the flame. Trees that gain life through destruction.
When I was a kid, terrified by fire, my neighbor’s fire barrel turned over once, and half his yard burned before he got it under control. This brought my fears back to the surface real quick–but then I noticed that, in spite of the drought, that grass that had burned came back vibrant and green, while the rest of the lawn was an ugly brown.
Somehow or another, the fire brought life.
My prayer is that I can build my life’s work with purity. With metaphorical gold and silver, with gems and precious stones. I pray that when the fire comes down upon me, it leaves me and mine gleaming rather than consumed. I pray no loss is suffered.
Lord, direct our hands as we’re building, help us build for You. Help us make the right decisions that will withstand that holy fire. And give us the peace to know that even when something seems to be burned up and left destroyed, it’s only so that You can send us something new, something better to take its place. Go before us, Father, and make clear the path.
by Roseanna White | Jun 21, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
The other day I was reading Romans 8 . . . and coming to the conclusion that it’s one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I know I’ve read it many times before, but it just hit me how much is in this one. And how amazing it is that we get to apply it to our lives.
I was especially hit by Romans 8:11.
But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
WOW. I don’t think I ever really paused to consider that the Spirit–the same Spirit I have in me–is that life-giving, dead-raising force. He raised Jesus from the dead. He breathes life. And He’s in me. Not just coming upon me on occasion, like they recorded in the Old Testament, but dwelling within us.
What excuse do we ever have for feeling dead inside?? We’ve all been there, right? Those days, weeks, months when we can’t feel our faith–and since faith isn’t an emotion, we don’t need to feel it. But there’s something to this thought too–when the Spirit is within us, we cannot be dead. And if we feel we are…? Then something is deceiving us. It could be disease, chemical imbalance…or it could be the enemy of the Spirit whispering lies.
But we need to attune our ears to His truth instead–one of the other things about the Spirit that always made me sit back and go Wow. His job is to provide us with the Truth. With guidance. With comfort. So when He is there within us, so is Truth. And we can be nothing but alive and vital.
Another thing hit me with that–what is alive and vital is growing, always. Am I?
Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes it seems I’ve stagnated. But just like with water, what is stagnant is death. And He is life.
So what do we do when we find ourselves struggling with this? Not feeling like these verses tell us we should? Not able to wrap our minds and hearts around what we know is true but seems so . . . distant?
The answer comes in verse 15.
For you did not receive
the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
Another WOW. The Spirit never wants to make us feel any of those negatives. He wants us to remember that we’ve got a family now, a literally-awesome one. And with Him in us, that gives us certain privileges. Like calling out to the most Holy One and calling him Daddy.
Thank you, Lord, for calling us out of fear, out of death. Thank you for calling us into your family. And thank you for filling us with the very Spirit of Life.
by Roseanna White | Jun 14, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Now hope does not disappoint,because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
~Romans 5:5
Rejection. In the writing industry it’s something we all face, and so it’s something that I’ve written about before. In fact, in February of 2010 I had another post titled “
Thoughtful About . . . Rejection,” all about how the Love Finds You series turned down one of my contemporaries. It was still very fresh when I wrote that . . . so obviously I didn’t know that it would lead to them accepting my historical. Obviously I didn’t know that that was exactly what needed to happen, so that I got the grounding in the genre I love best. Obviously I didn’t know the disappointment wouldn’t last long . . .
And that’s just the thing. We never know, do we? That’s why in Romans 5 Paul can speak so definitively of hope. We never know what’s coming down the road. No one does. But what sets those of faith apart is that we trust in the Engineer who built that road. We know that our tears make us try harder–that trying harder makes us stronger. And that when we’re stronger, we can hope. (To paraphrase verse 3 of that chapter…)
The other day one of my good friends got some bad news. A rejection we really hadn’t expected, one that floored me so had to have been devastating for her. Now, as rejections go, it was a good one–the editor loved her, loved her writing, the book was just too similar to another title. And another editor had already asked her agent to send it over NOW. That’s good…but does it help in the moment?
A little. But, as someone who’s been there, I know well it doesn’t take the pain away, not even by half.
As I talked to my friend, I wished I had magic words to make it all better. I wish I could take a peek into the future so I could tell her how it all worked out. Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean, it would have been great to know, when I pitched an idea to one editor that got promptly shot down last spring, that I shouldn’t have shelved the idea, that another editor would love it so much that she’d break her own rules to get it picked up by her company. (That would be
Ring of Secrets, by the way…)
All I could offer her was the usual. “You’re awesome. And this stinks, but you know, we just don’t know how it’ll end up. I know we thought this would be it, but since it’s not, it just means something else is. Maybe she’ll acquire another one. I mean, no one has ever bought the first thing I pitched them.”
That at least got a chuckle–it’s so very true! Each of my big releases was prefaced by the editor rejecting something else but asking to see more. And as an editor, I can attest to that phenomenon too. WhiteFire just acquired a contemporary title that was the second one I’d seen from someone. It’s a matter of matching.
And it’s a matter of picking yourself up when you fall down and saying, “Okay, well, what else can we do here?”
Never-ever is rejection going to be nice. But we do have a Friend who can peek into the future. And though He doesn’t often just tell us outright how it’s going to work out, He whispers His peace into us, if we pause long enough to hear it. And though sometimes we feel too weary to tread that road any longer, He’s there then too. With His arms stretched out, saying, “Then let me carry you, baby. We’ll get there together.”
Don’t give up. Keep striding, knowing that that bump produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. Knowing that that hope never disappoints–because it’s grounded in something that never shifts, never changes. Something that isn’t subjective, that isn’t a matter of opinion.
It’s grounded in God’s love.
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.