by Roseanna White | Aug 16, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
And I’ve had a pretty fun week. My birthday on Tuesday was a lot of fun, filled with discounted food. 😉 My mom took me out to lunch and my hubby/kids to dinner, and both times, part of the meal was discounted (or free) because of a delay. Which suited me just fine and made it more fun. For dinner, we drove down to Hagerstown, MD, about an hour away, to go to Outback and use my free birthday coffee coupon at Starbucks. (Yes, the nearest Starbucks is an hour away. Gotta love Western Maryland…)
On the drive down, we were going through rain, with the sun behind us, and it resulted in a perpetual rainbow, low-slung and sparkling, right in front of us on the road. It traveled with us about five miles, to the delight of us all. I claimed it was my personal birthday rainbow. 😉 On the way home, the clouds were starting to lift from the mountains and valleys back into the sky, resulting in these gorgeous pillars of mist . . . quite a sight. God spared no imagination painting the landscape for me that evening. =) (Thanks, Lord!)
And also making this week fun is that I’ve bitten the bullet and stopped
talking about starting a local book club and actually
done it. Yay! The Inspired Book Club will meet at my church Library the last Thursday of every month, beginning in September. AND folks were so excited when I started talking about it, that we’ll be chatting on Facebook the last week of each month too. So if you’re too far away to come snack and chat with us, feel free to
join the Facebook group. And if you’re near Cumberland, MD and want to join, just shoot me an email at roseanna [at] roseannawhite [dot] com and I’ll give you directions! Our book for September is Tamera Alexander’s
A Lasting Impression. And to make it even more fun, Tammy has agreed to call in during out meeting so we can ask her questions and get the insider scoop on the book.
And even if you can’t squeeze one more thing into your schedule, let’s just admire my fun little logo. Isn’t it cute? LOL. I made that after organizing the
Christian Review of Books‘s shelves in its new location at my church. (Yay, all those books out of my sitting room!) Oh, and the CRoB is also in desperate need of a local-to-Cumberland-area volunteer to donate an hour or two a week to helping me keep the list updated and get books mailed out to reviewers. If you’re interested, email me at the address above.
Not exactly a life-altering blog post, I know, but it’s been that kind of week more full of news and chocolate cake than epiphanies. 😉 Thanks again, all, for your wonderful birthday wishes!
by Roseanna White | Aug 9, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
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| A Favor by Edmund Blair Leighton |
I’ve always liked August. It holds my birthday, after all, and has traditionally had lots of other fun things going on. But on the other hand, it’s the end of summer. The start of school. For any household with kids, August signals a change in seasons, even though the heat of summer’s still upon us.
This year, when the page in the calendar flipped, it kinda got to me. I looked down at the project that had been my primary goal, and I see that it’s not all that far along. And that feeling of failure swamped me. That feeling of What have I been doing? How have I wasted my time?
Then I remember that I haven’t been twiddling my thumbs. I’ve been editing a lot, which is great and necessary. I wrote a novella that I’m excited to get to use for promotion between the first two books of the Culper Ring Series. And I got a good chunk done on another project.
A project that got stalled, perhaps even nixed for good. Which thought still brings me a pang.
I’m a writer–I know rejection well. I’ve had to put aside countless projects over the years. But for some reason, this one still gets me down now and then. Primarily, I think, because it’s intertwined with a couple other projects in my mind, which have also been stalled. Put on hold. Which they’ve been on so long that they’ve gone from “paused” to “stop.”
I’m not sure I can really explain this echoey sigh that fills me when I think about these things lately. I can see where the way things have fallen out is without doubt for the best. I can see that the Lord has His plan in it and have to nod at the wisdom.
But still there’s just this sense of loss. Lost dreams. Lost time spent on them when I could have been working on the project that’s a sure thing.
I have to trust there, though, too, don’t I? Trust that that time spent was for a purpose too. That it wasn’t wasted.
The funny thing is that I have no problem looking at the years spent on that pile of books in my computer that are unpublished and give them a thumb’s up. Because I learned from them, because they made me who I am, because I still hope that some of them will have their day. So why can’t I look at the month and a half spent on these projects the same way?
I’m really not sure, but it’s something I’ve been giving to the Lord again and again. And again, and again, I have to remind myself that I haven’t failed. That I’m doing just fine, thank you very much, on my primary project.
With mere weeks left in my “free” time this summer–or at least before the home school year starts–I can’t help but number my days and try to figure out how to catch up with where I wanted to be. But the real task here isn’t to write a chapter a day and edit two books for WhiteFire. The real task is to lay these stalled dreams on the alter and trust. Trust that lost dreams and lost time and lost motivation are all part of God’s plan for me to find something better. To find His path for me. To find Him in new ways.
It’s hard, when those echoey sighs billow through me. But then . . . trust always is.
by Roseanna White | Aug 2, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
When I came up with the idea of the Culper Ring Series, I didn’t have any great themes in mind. I just liked the premise, and soon got hooked on the characters. The plots were dictated largely by history. And I was rather surprised to release the themes ended up coming from history too.
Themes I had the pleasure of hearing echoed to a crowd of 60,000 people over the weekend. =)
Last week we drove to Texas for the Restoring Love rally, bringing the kids with us. Now, to be perfectly honest, I never listen to Glenn Beck, and I haven’t much watched him since he left Fox. Now, the reason for these “not”s is that if someone else doesn’t turn it on, I don’t bother with the TV or radio. And if someone else turns it on, they pick what we watch. So most of my watching/listening ends up being My Little Ponies or Chuck the Truck, LOL.
So yeah, I’d kinda wondered why my hubby kept saying, “You should send a press release to the Glenn Beck folks. Your new stuff is right up their alley.” I believed him, but didn’t fully grasp why. Not until I sat in the Cowboys stadium and heard that crowd roaring in response to the speakers giving voice to… to…
My themes! =) Themes that aren’t just for the pages of a book, but for my own life too. My family’s life. My church’s life. Themes about standing up, no matter what, and doing what’s right. More, doing what’s needed for others.
If you asked the audience what Restoring Love was about, you probably would have heard things like “service” and “charity.” We took our kids with us for our “day of service,” as they called it, a day when 30,000 volunteers flooded Dallas to do everything from fix roofs to cut up downed trees. We ended up in a nursing home, supposedly to plant flowers, but they hadn’t been delivered–so we ended up playing Bingo with the residents. =)
And my day was pretty much made when Xoe looked up at me on the bus ride there, after we’d explained what “volunteering” meant, and asked, “Can we volunteer all the time?”
See, that’s the lesson we all need to learn, and that I know I need to teach my kids. That they can reach out. That they should reach out. Not necessarily to do big things, but to do whatever needs done. That’s the message I got from the event, from the speakers, and that’s the message I’ve been contemplating for a year now as I develop each of my Culper books.
Sometimes the Lord calls us to a hard place. A place where obeying means risking everything we love. So what do we do?
Sometimes the Lord calls us to a dark place. A place where obeying means being kept forever in the shadows, where no one will see us. So what do we do?
Sometimes the Lord calls us to a towering place. A place where millions can see us…but where a single misstep can send us tumbling down. So what do we do?
The answer ought to be obvious–we do what we need to do, what He asks us to do–but is it? It certainly isn’t easy to. Which is why it feels like so often these days, things are left undone. Because it’s so much easier not to do them.
But history has already shown us these themes. Shown us the stories of people who weren’t so extraordinary, until they did what they had to do. Until they fought the hard fight, until they went where no one else dared to go. Until they risked hatred and reviling and even punishment to stand up–just stand up–for a cause.
That made them extraordinary, wrote their names in our history books. Not because of anything they tried to do for themselves, for their own glory–but for the things they did for others. For freedom. For faith.
Maybe I don’t see a cause before me quite so clear-cut as fighting for independence or rallying a nation to fend off invaders. But I see one just as daunting–raising my children to have the heart, to have the courage, to serve others above themselves. It’s a task that won’t be finished any time in the near future, but you know . . . I think I’m doing okay.
by Roseanna White | Jul 26, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
My sister recently talked me into joining her zumba class, something I’ve resisted when she mentioned it months ago. Why? Because I prefer my humiliation to be private, and exercising and I have a love-hate relationship that’s heavier on hate than love, LOL. But I finally gave in and have gone with her twice now. So, yes, you’re about to get life lessons from zumba class. 😉
My exercising habit tends to look like this: for a few months, I’ll exercise five to six days a week, half an hour a day. Then I’ll get a cold/sinus infection/flu/other malady that forces me to stop for a few days. And then I’ll just never start again, because not doing it is just so much nicer, ha ha. And that’ll last until I pause to think, “Oh, man, I’m turning 30 in August, and I look like it!” Then I’ll start again.
When I’ve exercised on my own in recent years, I’ve done the dance-based programs. So going to zumba wasn’t quite as humiliating as I expected, since I knew most of the moves, they were just in new arrangements. And being in a class with a dozen other woman of varying ages and sizes and levels of expertise has really hammered home one of things I discovered while going it alone.
You only get out what you put in.
When I first started doing these DVDs, I went through the motions. I did all the steps. But not with the abandon of the instructors. And frankly, I didn’t see much by way of results. But after a while, that became not-hard enough that I could ramp it up a bit. And that is when I started seeing a difference. Looking around at my new class, I’ve noticed much the same thing. The ones working the hardest, sweating the most, with the reddest faces, are the ones in better shape.
Now, there are certainly days I’m not up for that in a workout class. But what about life? How often do we just go through the motions, doing the right steps, but are unwilling to break a proverbial sweat? If you’re like me, you have those days too. Some days, that’s all you can manage, and that’s fine. Doing what you have to do without any umph is better, now and then, than just taking a day off.
The problem is when it becomes habit. When, day after all, you bounce instead of jump. You walk instead of run. You sigh instead of sing.
I’ve been there. And you know what the problem with it is? You never see results. You never get better. You’re putting in the bare minimum, so that’s what you’re getting out. And you know the only way to break free of that? Ramp it up. Put in more. Push yourself, make yourself keep going through the side-stitches, through the sore muscles, through the breathlessness. Work harder. Give it your all.
Sometimes I’ve been so caught up in the blahs, so exhausted by life, so in need of rejuvenation that it feels like I can’t possibly do more. But you know what? I was wrong. I could, once I opened my spirit to the Spirit and let Him whisper His wind into me. Who needs their own breath, after all, when you can have His?
I’m by no means perfect at this (in either life or working out), but it’s a truth that’s hit home these past two weeks as I push myself to give more than I thought I could in zumba. Makes me wonder what more I could do in life, too, if I just pushed past the blahs…
by Roseanna White | Jul 19, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
It’s a saying pretty much everyone understands, I’d think. “Keep your eyes on the prize.” Keep your focus on the thing you’re aiming at. The finish line. The trophy. The certificate of achievement. The check-off of your Bucket List.
Keep going. Keep reaching. Keep your aim true.
But what if you’re aiming at the wrong prize?
A couple months ago I blogged about
those Twisty Paths, and how finaling and winning or not in a contest was all part of God’s plan. Well, with more finalists announced on Monday for another big fiction contest, the topic is weighing on me again.
I’m a competitive person. I hate losing and always have. And frankly, I was always one of the best in anything I really put my mind to. I was smart, I was good at art, I could master any subject in school, any instrument. You know the one thing I stank at? Sports. I just wasn’t any good at them, but I wanted to run Cross Country to get in shape. So I joined the team. I did my best. And I never, not once, even came close to winning.
Thank heavens I had an awesome coach, one who understood that keeping your eyes on the prize didn’t always mean winning. He told me that I was competing with myself, with my previous times. That my prize was knowing I was kicking my own rear end. And that when I did that, God was so very proud of me.
So here I am in my career. Faced, again, with the reality of not making the cut in a contest. Am I in tears? Um, no. A little bummed? Sure. But as I sat here contemplating these wins, I heard that whisper again. The one that says, “Is winning your prize? Is a best-seller your prize? Or am I? Is touching hearts for Me?”
So here I sit. Praying with a soul laid bare that He helps me always keep my eyes firmly where they belong. On the prize. The real prize, and the only prize. The one that I can’t put on a shelf or list in my bio. The one that lifts me up on those down days.
Him.
I want to thank each and every one of you who has ever taken the time to send me an email or leave me a comment letting me know my work has had some effect on you. Those, my friends, are how God often speaks to me to say, “See? This is your prize, my daughter. This is your proof that you’re doing well, doing what you ought to be doing.”
And I want to offer sincere congratulations to all the wonderful, gifted authors who are up for these prestigious awards. You have all earned this, and I know God has special plans for using it and you for His glory.
Man-made prizes have their place and I cheer loud as I can when a book I love wins an award. Especially when I know the author and know that their ultimate prize, too, is that “Well done, good and faithful servant” from the Lord.
But for some of us, the ones of us who might get a little too hung up on the glitter and glam of an earthly win, keeping our focus is tough–and necessary. And proof that the Lord knows what’s best for us, even when it brings a little bit of a bummer.
by Roseanna White | Jul 12, 2012 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I’ve had a hectic few weeks, and in some ways it’s been a real roller coaster ride. I got good news just to have it nullified two days later. I’ve had to come to grips with a few things, put some things aside for a while–and as someone who always hopes and works for more, that was a toughie.
But even while I’ve mourned the loss of that oh-so-brief good news, I’ve also gotten to enjoy some of the most fun aspects of what I do. On the author side, I enjoyed a nice long chat with my editor, going over revisions for
Ring of Secrets. That was a blast, as we laughed over the silly things that had slipped past me and got into the nitty gritty of the story. She loves it just about as much as I do, so there really was no pain involved.
And on the editor side, I got to have the same sort of conversation in reverse with one of our authors. =) We got to talk over revisions to her ending, weighing some of the different options and talking about her characters and how they’ll best
Shine. I love that!
In the back of my mind there’s still sometimes that lurking disappointment. That realization that I can’t reach further right now—which on the one hand is fine, because I love where I am. But I’ve always been stretching. I’ve always been trying to find the next project and, in recent months, trying to figure out how to balance my commitments. It’s a little weird to realize that for now, that’s not necessary. Oh, I still have plenty to balance with writing and editing and designing and, of course, parenting and home schooling. But still . . .
Yet even as I waited for the phone call that ended up reversing my good news, I finished up the research I’d been doing for my second Culper Ring book. Even as I put aside the project that had been distracting me from it, I got excited about dedicating myself to Gwyneth and Thad. I’m having so much fun getting to work on this one!
And some of the best news ever just came, after all–my best friend/critter and I have officially scheduled a writing retreat for next spring. WOOT! Can’t wait for March!!!
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.