by Roseanna White | Feb 11, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Today is one of those milestones (so forgive me for posting my “thoughtful” post a day early, LOL). My baby turned 7. My youngest, my little guy. Proving yet again that time marches ever onward.
So as is my tradition, I figure I’ll take time out of my normal scheduled blogging today to talk a bit about my awesome little guy.
For starters, I have a hard time finding a picture these days, because he’s so much like his papa–he likes being behind a camera, but has developed an aversion to being in front of one, LOL. This is from his party. You won’t find him in the shot. 😉
Rowyn is an inquisitive little guy, and he loves learning. His favorite books are his Lego Build book and his Dino Encyclopedia. (Yes, non-fiction. Can you hear me weeping? Sniff, sniff.) He loves science, is awesome at math, and likes to pretend he can’t read very well…until he wants to, then lo and behold, he can read most anything he sees.
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| Candy bridge (why, what do you do with yours?) |
Though he often still says he wants to be an artist when he grows up, he also thinks it would be fun to be a digger. And a race car driver. And a rock star (though he doesn’t like being on stage any more than he likes having his picture taken). And…he just admitted last week…a builder.
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| Lego Dragon: “Fully articulated!” says Rowyn |
This is where he really shines right now. This kid will build in absolutely any medium. String and toothpicks become bridges for his toys. Halloween candy isn’t just for eating, it’s for building a Candy Kingdom with. Blocks, Legos, boxes…all fodder for his rich engineering imagination. I love seeing what he comes up with…and after Christmas or a birthday, you may just hear me saying, “Please, Rowyn, can we take a break from building things for just a few minutes? Please??” LOL
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| Rowyn, age 4, building with wood scraps |
Of my two, he’s the busier–always playing, building, drawing. But he’s also the cuddler. I joke that I must have a magnet in my lap, because I can’t sit down near him without him climbing up and plopping down. I can always count on that 6 a.m. “Mama!” to be followed by hugs and cuddles. He loves to laugh, hates to be apart from his sister, and doesn’t need to be reprimanded for hitting nearly as much as he used to be. 😉 Though in some ways he refuses to be independent, in other ways, he takes pride in being self-sufficient…usually in the ways I wish he wouldn’t, LOL. (“No, Rowyn, don’t try to cut that yourself! Rowyn, don’t climb up on that, just ask me to get it off the shelf for you! Buddy, you can’t operate that equipment on your own…”) He’s my helper in the kitchen, though if ever I suggest he learn how to be a chef someday, he gives me a look that says, “No way, crazy woman.”
This kid’s dimples always get me, and his laugh is one of the bright spots in my days–it’s straight from the belly, unrestrained. Though he often goes silent around other folks, he spends his days with rarely a quiet moment at home. When he isn’t talking or making appropriate sound effects for his toys, he’s singing–and rarely a song that isn’t an original Rowyn. (So who knows, maybe he will overcome the stage-aversion thing and be a rock star, LOL.)
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| Ro “stealing kisses” in Dec. 2013 |
I’m so incredibly blessed to have these two amazing little people in my life. So incredibly blessed to get to spend my days teaching them and learning with them, watching their every discovery and seeing how they grow. I love seeing them come into the gifts and talents God has given them.
And so glad to get to wish my little guy a happy 7th birthday. May this year be filled with discovery, love, and laughter, Ro-boat!
by Roseanna White | Feb 5, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it: “Everything you do, do it for the glory of God.” A beautiful sentiment, right? But it always left me going, “Yes! But…how?” How do you change a diaper for the glory of God? How do you cook dinner for the glory of God? How do you [insert menial task here] for the glory of God?
No one ever answered that for me, LOL. But this past week, it finally clicked. For me at least, the secret to that how lies in one simple realization:
Everything matters.
To explain my simple epiphany, I need to use the example of dealing with kids. At this point in my life, that’s what most of my interactions are, what most of my day consists of, and what most of my other tasks go back to. So.
Think back on some of your memories from childhood–the little ones. That day you helped your grandma plant something. That time you were sick and your mom let you eat Jell-O in bed. That day on the playground when you felt so very alone, because your best friend was playing with someone else. The panic that came that day when you turned around in the store and couldn’t see your family anymore, even though they were right around the corner and got you in about half a second.
These are the memories that no one else remembers. These are the memories that have shaped you. These are the little things, the snippets of ordinary days, that have made you who you are.
These are the things that matter.
I don’t know what my kids are going to remember…but I can pretty much guarantee it’s not going to be all the things I remember about their days as little ones. For all I know, my Bad Day is going to be the one to stick in their memory, not all the good ones around it. That response I make when they ask for a treat even though they didn’t clean their room like they were supposed to.
In our Bible study, we’ve done both Sacred Marriage and now Sacred Parenting. What I love about these books is that they’re not about how to be happy in our relationships–they’re about how to be holy. One thing the author points out is that it’s helpful to remember that our spouses and children are children of God. They, not just strangers, are the ones Jesus is talking about when he said, “I was naked and you clothed me, I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink.”
By providing for them, we’re providing for Jesus. By loving them, we’re loving Jesus. By yelling at them, we’re yelling at Jesus?
That’s where my realization came in. Now, don’t get me wrong. I think sometimes we need to raise our voice to get the attention of a rambunctious kid. To get the point across. But it was eye-opening for me to stop and think, “What if this is the thing they remember?” I want my every response, my every reaction, my every lesson taught and hug given, to be something that will build my children up and make them understand what it is to be godly.
Or in other words…I want it all to be for the glory of God.
The same lesson applies to every other thing I do. When I stop to think “This matters,” then I do it with care. I do it with prayer. I do it for those around me, and I do it for God. Because I never know how it’s going to strike someone. How it’s going to impact someone. What they might remember. What I might remember, and how it might shape me.
That load of laundry matters…because it allows me to clothe my loved ones. That dinner matters, because I’m feeding them. My attitude matters, because God sees it.
It all matters. And when I remember that, then I’m a step closer to leading the holy life He wants for me and from me.
by Roseanna White | Jan 29, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
Be good. It’s a familiar refrain, one we probably say to our children a gazillion times. Whenever we send them off to a friend’s house, or on those days when The Sibling Wars are especially fierce. It’s understood that there are the good things to do and the bad. That those are, to a point, what define us. That it’s by what we’re judged by the people around us, at the least.
And in my ongoing quest to figure out how to be who God wants me to be in this world that seems more intent upon pursuing all the bad things rather than the good, I came across this verse.
“For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— 16 as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. 17 Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”
~ I Peter 2:15-17
In this section, Peter is cautioning people to live a Godly life before the world, abstaining from lusts of the flush and sinful things. Obeying the government. Then these verses above. I’ve no doubt read them quite a few times, but they really struck me the last time I did. Look closely.
By doing good you my put to silence the ignorance of foolish men.
What does that mean? It means that our actions speak louder than the words of our enemies, of our detractors. It means that by doing good, doing the will of God, we point to Him, and in the face of it, no one can really say anything bad about us. It means that by being/doing good, we force the other side to bite their tongues. Because how can they argue with what is universally acknowledged as good?
But then it goes on. Let’s examine verse 16. …as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice…
This reminds me of the part in I Corinthians where Paul says, “Look, guys. You’re free from the law. That means all things are lawful for you. But don’t be stupid. It doesn’t mean all things are good for you, that all things are helpful. Act like they are and you’re just going to become a slave to them.” (That’s the Roseanna paraphrase.)
We are free. Yes, absolutely. Faith in Jesus frees us from law, from religion. But we’re still responsible for our actions in the world. And what’s more, people are still watching us. So we don’t want to use freedom as an excuse to do bad things. That’s just stupid. We have to find the balance to strike–embracing the freedom without abusing it. Rejecting the chains of the law, be it the ancient ones that Jesus was arguing with or the ones the church was pretty quick to develop within the first couple hundred years of Christianity–but not betraying the spirit behind all those constricting rules.
And here’s the clincher. …as bondservants of God.
I’ve talked before about what it really means to be a bondservant of God. (Read that post here. It’s one I go back to frequently.) In a nutshell, it means we freely turn our will over to Him. We swear to serve Him for all our lives, and in return we become part of His family, part of His household. A servant, yes, but one beloved by our master and even able to inherit. So if we’re living out our liberty as bondservants of God, then that means EVERYTHING WE DO is for Him. In His interests. What He asks of us.
It means we’re going to show respect to those in authority. We’re going to love our brethren in Christ. We’re going to be good citizens. We’re never going to forget what God can do. We’re going to be good. And because we are, others will see and respect us and love us and seek God. It means that the worst thing people will be able to say about us is that we follow a strange God who doesn’t do the things that the world does, doesn’t worship what the world worships, and leads others to this same God.
Now that’s a criticism we should all seek to have lobbed at us!
by Roseanna White | Jan 22, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
This week, my husband went to a friend’s Bible study to see about helping them with recordings. Then the next day we went to our Bible study with other young parents. Then the next day, we went to church.
And those three days in a row, using three different scriptures, the same message was spoken. Purify yourselves.
Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
~ II Corinthians 7:1 (NIV)
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded…. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.
~ James 4:8, 10 (NKJV)
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, 12 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.
~Titus 2:11-14 (NKJV)
The force of them all, in the various contexts, was the same. If we want to be something different…if we want to be set apart…if we want to avoid getting sucked down into the culture around us…well, this is how we do it. We purify ourselves of the things of the world. We get rid of all the contaminants.
How? In the first of those Bible studies my husband attended, that’s what they were talking about. The how. And I love the answer they came to. That we do it by filling ourselves up with God. When we do that, when we fill ourselves up with Him, we don’t have to worry about how to get rid of the earthly things. They just don’t fit us anymore.
It’s kind of like eating right. I don’t know about you, but I love my junk food. And if I just try to cut out junk food, it’s agonizing. BUT, if I instead focus on putting good stuff in–if I make up my mind that I WILL eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day, do you know what I’ve found? That I’m so busy eating the good stuff, which fills me up, that I don’t have room or time for the bad stuff. It just stops mattering.
On the way home from church we were discussing the Purify Yourselves theme of the week, and my husband asked, “So why do you think this message is being preached right now? Is it something ominous? I mean why do we have to do this right now? What’s coming?”
I can’t really answer that, obviously. But to me, it didn’t feel like a doom-and-gloom threat–purify yourselves or else. It felt like a key to a promise. So often lately we’ve been talking about how we can change our culture. How we get the attention of the world and point it toward Him. How we speak to this generation.
To me, this message felt like a how-to. It felt like God saying, “Do you want to change the world around you? Then start with you. Get rid of the world inside you so that I can fill you up. And then you’ll Shine with Me, and others will see, and things will start changing.”
It goes back to a saying we heard a few years ago:
I wanted to change the world.
But I couldn’t.
So I decided I’d change my community.
But I couldn’t.
So I thought I’d change my church.
But I couldn’t.
I figured I’d change my family.
But I couldn’t.
So I decided to change myself.
With God, I changed me.
And then my family saw and was changed.
Then my church saw and was changed.
Then my community saw and was changed.
And then the world saw…
We can’t just change the world. We can only change ourselves. But WHEN we change ourselves…it doesn’t go unnoticed, my friends. But I also believe this isn’t a message just for my house. This is a message for the church.
Do we want things to change? Do we want the culture to realize where they’re heading? Do we want to reclaim our spiritual heritage? To we want to embrace the full authority of the Holy Spirit and all He can do through us?
Then it’s time we get off our rears and onto our knees. It’s time we purify ourselves. That we wash away the filth of the world by filling ourselves with Him so fully that there’s just no room for anything else.
And then…then we get to watch what He will do through His servants.
Pouring Water photo credit: Global Water Partnership – a water secure world via photopin cc
Overflowing Bucket photo credit: Kamoteus (A New Beginning) via photopin cc
by Roseanna White | Jan 15, 2015 | Remember When Wednesdays, Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I often, like many others, pray for a word for the new year as the old one draws to a close. Unlike most people I know who do this, I don’t generally get my word before the year begins, LOL. Instead, mine seems to come the first time I go to church in the new year. Don’t ask me why, but that’s the pattern. 😉 This year, we were iced out of our first service of the year, so this past weekend was our first church of 2015. And lo and behold, on the drive in, it hit me.
Deliberate.
This is an idea that has been coming at me from every direction in recent months. Our church is going from a branch church to a full member of our conference this year (hopefully), which requires that we examine our constitution and by-laws and make any changes we feel are necessary. As we spent hours pouring over this foundational document in recent months, there it was: be deliberate. We were engaged in a rather sacred endeavor, establishing how our church is to run until someone takes it upon themselves to change the constitution. We were setting up education, membership, and business practices. We had to be deliberate in how we did this, and where we wanted the focus to be. We had to be deliberate in giving the authority to whom it belongs. Ultimately God, and then those who follow Him.
It came up again in our Bible study that we have with friends. We’re beginning a new study on parenting, were talking the other night about how we educate our children (those present on Friday were all homeschoolers). And it hit me again. Be deliberate.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that I’m not to be washed to and fro by the currents of the day. I’m not to just go with the flow. I’m not to do something just because it’s how it’s done. I’m not to call things “good enough” and leave them. I’m not to do things thoughtlessly, by rote.
In my world, there’s a lot of routine, a lot of habit. All well and good…but not enough. Because I don’t just want to be a leader, or a follower of God, or a writer, or a friend. I want to raise leaders. True followers of God. Focused and determined people. A man and a woman who know the value of friendship, of honesty, of sacrifice.
Will they learn just by observing? To a point…yes. But also no.
This is another something my husband and I were just discussing, as he reads the works of John Lake, a truly great evangelist whose teachings helped found several worldwide denominations. David had just gotten to the chapters where Lake was mourning the death of the movement he had helped begin. Where he was looking at these floundering church groups and realizing that there was no one to take up the mantle. That they had assumed, he and his colleagues, that others would follow like them, ready to lead and continue the work.
But there was no one.
I mused, as we spoke of this, that perhaps it was because great leaders are often so focused on their calling that they’re not focused on raising up the next generation. Because they believe (idealistically–not badly, but not realistically) that just as they watched and were convicted and accepted a call, so will others be. They think they need to be always on the front lines, not behind them teaching those who come next.
We’ve been talking a lot about how to change a culture slip-sliding its way into decay. But you know what? No matter what answers we come to, they won’t matter unless we also figure out how to keep it. Unless we figure out how to teach our kids that there’s no such thing as “the way things are.” There’s just “the way things are going right now.”
You can see it over and again in history–one generation feels a deep conviction, makes changes. They set up a society in a given way, and raise their children in it. But then, to those children, it’s just the way it is. They don’t remember the reasons. They live it, but they don’t teach their children anything but the “facts” of their world…and so those children rebel. Go astray. Decide they’d rather taste this other way.
Because no one is deliberate.
We need to be! Oh, how we need to be. Because it doesn’t take long–a generation, two at the most–for religion to take the place of faith. For prejudice and judgment to overcome us. For ideals to be overwhelmed by rules. It has happened countless times in the church, it has happened in society, it has happened in our schools. Good intentions slowly morph into legalism until the original intent is buried so far beneath the mountain of words no one can even remember what it is anymore.
I want to raise my children with deliberation. I want to raise them not to believe the lies of the world. The lies that say there’s only so much we can do, so much we can change. The lies that things are what they are. NO. I want my kids to fully understand that the world, their culture, their lives are ever-changing and always able to be influenced. That their God is bigger than the enemy. That they can do all things through the strength of Christ. I want them to know that there’s no such thing as second-generation faith. They need their own.
How to teach them this? Well not by a lesson in church every week and nothing else, that’s for sure. Not just by setting an example. No, sorry–if I’m going to teach them these important life-lessons, then it’s going to have to be through deliberate choices. Deliberate guidance. Deliberate words given at deliberate moments to usher them along their own path. Not mine. Theirs.
As a homeschooling mom, I’m not sure if this sacred charge is easier or harder. On the one hand, it’s far more difficult because I’m with them every moment of every day–and it’s hard to be deliberate 24/7. But then, it might be easier, because I know what they’re being exposed to every moment of every day. I know what conversations to have when. There are no surprises when they get home from school and say, “Well Jake said that…”
When I pray for a word for the year, I don’t always get one. But when I do, it’s never just a word for the
year. It’s a word for my life, forever. Like “
Shine“–I’m still living that one, working on it. “Deliberate” is going to have to be the same way.
Because if I want to be a woman of faith, I have to choose it every moment of every day. I have to make a conscious effort to listen to Him, to walk in His power and truth. If I want to be a mother who raises children who understand this, I have to deliberately foster them in their growth. I need to not accept pre-boxed, ready-made answers and instead encourage and help them in finding their own. I need to make sure they understand that faith is work.
I think a question for the ages might be “How do you overcome generational decay?” And I believe this is the answer: by not assuming our kids will understand what we’ve come to learn. By not thinking “just living it” is enough. No. We have to be deliberate–otherwise all we build will be forgotten.
Stone man photo credit: Travis S. via photopin cc
Winding road photo credit: bobarcpics via photopin cc
by Roseanna White | Dec 4, 2014 | Ancient World, Holiday History, Remember When Wednesdays, Thoughtful Thursdays
I admit it. Readily. I have occasionally had issue with the Santa question. I have friends who never introduced the concept, and part of me always wished I had put my foot down on it too. Because I never really introduced it. I just let it creep in. Whenever my kids would ask, I would say, “Well, what do you think?”
And I was about to pull the plug. Then . . . then I looked it up. I looked up the true history of St. Nicholas, and how he became
Santa Claus. And you know what I discovered? That of all the many Christmas gift-giving traditions, this is actually the only one I feel has its roots in the right place.
Nicholas was from a city in the Byzantine empire, born in the late 200s and living through the mid 300s. From his youth, he was always given to matters of God. His parents died when he was young, leaving him a very wealthy boy. But rather than live in style, he was raised by his uncle, a priest, and soon followed in his footsteps. (Sorry–no Mrs. Claus.)
Even as a boy, he was known as the wonder-worker. He healed people of things like withered hands and illnesses with simple prayers. He calmed storms. He worked miracles. And he’s still hugely remembered for those things in Europe, where you’ll be hard pressed to find a town without a church dedicated to St. Nicholas. But do you know what else he’s remembered for?
His anonymous generosity.
See, he had all this money . . . but a heart for the Lord. So what did he do? Well, whenever he saw the needs of someone in his community, he quietly met them. He threw gold through windows. Down chimneys . . . and on occasion, it’s reported that some of this gold landed in a stocking left to dry over the banked fire.
Sound familiar? For hundreds of years, Christmas stockings always had gold–or a golden fruit, like an orange–in the bottom, to recall this story.
But the beauty of the thing is that Nicholas never claimed to be the gift-giver. More, when someone caught him at it, he would beg them not to disclose the secret, not so long as he lived. Because Christ charged us to give in secret.
After his death on December 6th, however, the stories came out. Story upon story about the generosity and gift-giving of Nicholas, who was soon named a saint and whose feast day was established as December 6th. So a new tradition was born. Whenever an anonymous gift was given, and especially on his feast day, it was said to be given in the name of St. Nick.
Anonymously–because that’s what Christ charged us to do.
Isn’t that actually what gift-giving
should be about?? Not the glory of saying, “Look, I bought you something you’ll love!” but the knowledge that we’re bringing
Joy to someone–better still, meeting the need of someone–
without expecting anything in return. Even the
Joy of seeing their faces when they open it.
That is true giving. And that’s what St. Nicholas represents.
So how did St. Nicholas become
Santa Claus? Well, because of the proximity of St. Nicholas’s feast day to Christmas, the two holidays eventually merged. But not right away. For hundreds of years, the gifts were given on December 6, and December 25 was reserved as a day of worshiping the Christ Child.
Then Martin Luther revolutionized the church and tried to do away with the saints’ days altogether. He was the one who said we oughtn’t to expect gifts from St. Nicholas. Instead, we ought to be grateful for the gift of the Christ Child. But in rather typical fashion, people weren’t willing to give up all their old traditions…so they just changed the name and began saying the gifts were from the Christ-kindl (German/Dutch for Christ Child). Which Americans later heard and thought was Kris Kringle. Which is how it became, ironically, another name for Santa. (Also note that
Santa Claus is directly from the Dutch words for saint and Nicholas, Claus being a nickname for the latter and “sinta” the word for the former.)
So you see what happened? In effort to change a tradition, all we succeeded in doing was losing its meaning. Santa became a symbol of greed to many, when that’s the last thing he ever was in reality. He became a symbol of Christmas-when-you-take-Christ-out-of-it, when his life was dedicated to putting Christ in everything.
When I read all this history, I was inspired (hello, future novel!), and I was also saddened. Because one of the most honorable traditions surrounding gift-giving is the one so often hated by the Church. Oh, we’re happy to give gifts…but we don’t want to lie to our kids. (And let’s face it–we don’t want to share the glory when we find that perfect something for them.)
Well, I’m not going to lie to my kids. Instead, I’m going to teach them who St. Nicholas was. More, why he did the things he did. And I’m going to hammer home that the beauty of the thing is the anonymity. Who leaves those presents? Well, that’s for you and your faith and your logic to decide. But the most important thing as a receiver of said gifts is knowing they’re given from love–not just the love of a friend or the love of a parent or the love of any other family.
These gifts represent the love of God. The love of Christ. Embodied by the anonymous generosity of man…a man like St. Nick.
I’m not going to lie to my kids. I’m going to explain that St. Nick is a real person, who did indeed appear miraculously to many people. That’s it’s not about magic…it’s about miracles. That believing God can do the impossible is part of faith. And that another part is being His hands and feet. Being His vehicle.
Being St. Nick. Not just on Christmas–in fact, we’re going to try to get away from making the day set aside for Christ being Present Day. But we’re going to give gifts. We’re just going to change up how we do it.
My challenge to you this year is to start taking yourself out of gift-giving. Start signing gifts “Anonymous”–or, as the case may be, “St. Nicholas.” Start leaving them for people to find and never know they’re from you.
Let’s start giving for the right reasons. And let’s give some credit to the memory of a man who always, always did. Santa isn’t a symptom of the evils of a commercialized nation–we are. Our attitudes are. Santa, if you dig back to the history, is the memory of a man who knew how to do things right. And I bet if Nicholas of Myra could see how his image has been changed over the years, and even hated by some Christians, he would weep. Because all he ever wanted to do was show Christ’s love to his flock. He would want us, just like I firmly believe God does, to get back to the roots of that.
Will this be hard? Absolutely. Why? Because of expectation. Because we’ll feel cheap if we show up without something in hand and don’t reveal we’ve already given something. But that’s a symptom of the problem, isn’t it? Giving shouldn’t be about our pride.
Let me say that again:
Giving should be about Him.
Not me.
Him.
Not you.
Him.
If we’re giving in our
own name…well, then who’s the gift about? Makes you think, doesn’t it? Or at least, it made
me think. Because giving gifts has always been, to me, about (a) the recipient and (b) my
Joy in giving it. Not really about God at all. And you know, maybe that’s fine on a birthday.
But on Jesus’s? I don’t think it is. I really don’t. And so I’m going to accept the challenge to myself. I’m going to figure out how to glorify the Lord and honor Christ on His day–on every day. And I’m never going to sell St. Nicholas short again. Because he understood all his life what it’s taken me a lot of years to figure out.
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.