Thoughtful About . . . I Am (repost)
I’m sure I could find something original to write about today. But as I was thinking about what I’m thinking about (sure–that made sense), I realized that I’d already written about it. So I went and looked it up and reread it, and it still stands. š So if you read this one a year and a half ago, my apologies. But maybe you missed it. Or need the reminder. Maybe someone else out is…
I am a mom–an imperfect one, but one who tries to show her kids what she can…and who is constantly amazed by these two precious little people who latch onto my waist and declare, “Mine! You’ll always be my mama!”
He is my Father–a perfect one, who shows me in so many ways what I can do through Him. Who constantly amazes me with the gifts, small and large, that He has given us. Who patiently whispers, “Mine. You’ll always be my daughter.”
I am a wife–one who messes up now and then, who says the wrong thing and forgets to make dinner. But one who still gets that little pitter-patter inside at the thought of seeing her husband after a short absence. Who dares to dream along with him of somedays and maybes.
He is the Bridegroom–the one who is always waiting for his Bride to remember her vows, to remain faithful, to reach for perfection. The one with arms outstretched in love for His church, for the world.
I am a bit of recluse–the kind who likes company, sure, but who gets lost in a crowd. Who sits at a party feeling awkward, even when it’s all family. Who can give a sermon or a speech no problem, but who often stumbles through the unscripted…until she has a keyboard under her fingers or a pen in her hand.
He is everywhere. Always. And yet He doesn’t force His way in. He stands outside the doors of our hearts and awaits our invitation. To come in. To sit with us. To give us the words we can’t find and the sense of belonging that sometimes evades us.
I am a homemaker–but not the kind who makes a beautiful, showcase home. I appreciate those, but they’re not for me. I would rather spend my spare dollars on dreams and goals and helping those who have less than on curtains or decorations. All I need, I have discovered, is enough–when I find myself with more, it’s meant to be used for a greater purpose than my own comfort.
He is the Creator–the one who made the world and all that’s in it. Who clothed the lilies of the field. Who made a home for every creature. The one who bids me, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just follow Me today.”
Sometimes, when I’m tired or down or just overwhelmed, it’s easy to focus on all I’m not. But I’m not not. I am. I am all He made me, and all He made me to be that I haven’t yet realized. I’m flaws and strengths, weaknesses and determination.
I’m a shadow of Him–a mirror, I pray, of His light. I am His. And He is I AM.
Word for the Year – Overcome
I’d been praying for a word for 2017, as I usually do. Most of the time God will give me one when I ask, but there have been years when nothing has stood out. I had a feeling, as I prayed over the last few days, that this was going to be a no-word year.
But then yesterday, as my dad preached at a local nursing home, he read this verse:
“…These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.ā ~ John 16:33
The word “overcome” practically leaped out at me. I knew I had a word–what I’m still not sure of is if it’s for me, or for me to give. We shall see, on that one. But regardless, it’s a word that we all need reminded of, isn’t it?
In the Message version, that verse reads like this:
“…Iāve told you
all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured,
deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience
difficulties. But take heart! Iāve conquered the world.ā
I think the word “conquer” is even stronger than “overcome”–to my mind, at least, it doesn’t just mean being the victor over what comes upon you, but actively engaging in a battle that we win. That, my friends, is what the Church needs to do in this world!
I don’t want to just paste the whole section from John in here, as it’s a little long, but some context is actually really illuminating. Jesus had just told them that he’d be leaving, they’d be sorrowful, but that then he’d be back and their sorrow would turn to Joy. Then He says:
24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your Joy may be full . . . . 26 In that day you will ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; 27 for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me, and have believed that I came forth from God.
This part really struck me as I read it. We all know the verse: you don’t have because you don’t ask. But 26 is pretty amazing too. Here, Jesus is saying that when we ask in His name, it isn’t that He’s beseeching the Father on our behalf. It’s that, because we believe in Him, God will answer us. How amazing is that?
I don’t know what trials and tribulations will come upon any of us in 2017. There will be some–there always are. Individual ones, and ones that strike the Church, the country, the whole world. I don’t know what this word might pertain to in particular. But I do know this.
He has overcome. He has conquered. And because of that, when we ask in His name–if we ask in His name–we will conquer too.
Thoughtful About . . . 2016
It’s that time of year again. The calendar says there’s only one more day left in the old year. Facebook keeps trying to show me my year in review. Friends on there are all posting about hopes for 2017, fresh starts, saying farewell to the old.
I’ve always loved to take a look back at the year that has just passed round about now. To reflect on any promises I made myself, or which God has made to me.
In 2016, when I prayed for a word to dwell on for the year, God gave me this:
It isn’t the kind of word that issues me a big challenge–it isn’t a reminder, really, of what He wants me to do. What it is is a reminder of who I ultimately am–His. A reminder that has carried me through what has been, all in all, a pretty amazing year.
In my personal life, it’s been a year of fun with my kids. There was the usual homeschooling, of course. Learning together, laughing together. We traveled a good bit with them, taking them to Niagara Falls for the Fourth of July (because nothing says American Independence Day like going to Canada for fireworks, LOL) and then to Europe in September.
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| Photo Xoe took from the base of the Eiffel Tower–which now adorns our walls. |
I got to see my daughter’s face light up when she saw the Eiffel Tower. I got to watch my son jump from rock to rock at Land’s End in Cornwall. I had the Joy of actually finding some books that my reluctant-reader son wanted to read–and watch my little girl, who is growing up so fast, create some beautiful art that just amazes me.
David and I celebrated our 15th anniversary this year (hence the trip to Europe). Pretty cool to look back and be able to say, with some credibility now, LOL, that no, we weren’t too young. We knew exactly what we were getting into. I don’t have a moment’s regret that I married that man when we were both 18. I just have exceeding Joy that we’ve already had so many years together, and that God blessed us so much by leading us to each other so early in life. Another “mine” that I am so happy to claim.
And professionally . . . it’s been quite a year.
I signed my second contract for a series with Bethany House. Can’t wait for my “thief books” to come to life in 2017! I have second round edits coming on A Name Unknown next week, I’ll turn in A Song Unheard a week after they arrive, and I’m ready to start writing An Hour Unspent as soon as my synopsis is approved.
I got the news that The Lost Heiress was a finalist in the Christy Awards. As someone who struggles with pride and so has sworn of any award I have to enter myself, this came as a shock and a Joy I never expected. I have never won a writing award. And while I didn’t win this year either, I honestly didn’t even care. It was such an honor to be a finalist, beside some of my favorite authors. That’s a wow I’m going to carry with me forever.
I got to visit my publishing house in Minnesota and see behind-the-scenes there, which was just awesome. I felt so authorly, LOL.
I got my first royalty checks from a publisher other than Whitefire–from two of the publishers I’ve worked with, actually. So great to actually earn out an advance!
I made the CBA bestseller list with The Lost Heiress just last month. Sure, only because it had been on sale, LOL, but STILL! I can now claim to be a bestselling author.
And I had three titles release in 2016, which I think is a record for me. The Reluctant Duchess and A Lady Unrivaled from Bethany House, and Giver of Wonders from WhiteFire.
All in all, I’m pretty darn amazed at what God has done for me. Yes, there have been sorrows too–my husband’s grandfather passed away, good friends have had trials, and don’t get me started on the mess of the political season. But through every grief and disappointment, every fear and question, I had a resting place.
Because I am His, and He is mine.
I’m looking forward to the year ahead. I’m praying for a word from the Lord to be my word for the year. I’m anxious to see where He’s going to take us and what we’re going to do. And mostly, I’m just so amazed at this life He’s given me. One filled with family. One blessed by love. And one in which I actually get to do the things I love–writing, designing, teaching my kids.
Thank you, Lord, for another good year. Thank you for always being my Daddy-God. Thank you for claiming me as Your own.
Here’s to 2016–may the year ahead be one that draws us ever closer to Him!
Thoughtful About . . . What a Day
I had planned to have something brilliant and insightful to blog about today. I intended to think about this yesterday. Instead I . . .
* Took my cat to the vet and ended up leaving her there overnight. Poor kitty has an impacted bowel and needed an enema. =(
* Spent much of the day making a super-giant pan of lasagna for dinner at church, including simmering my own sauce for it
* Finished a batch of baking that had to sit in the fridge all night
* Did school with the kids (mostly…)
* Printed, and cut by hand, 50 inserts for little coin cases for a project (see below)
* Prepared a contract for WhiteFire
* Created an image for my church’s Facebook page
* Left at 3 (with dishes undone–hey, I’d just do them when I got home! No biggie!) to head out in search of gift cards for a community project we’re spearheading. (Any idea how long it takes McDonalds to ring up 50 gift cards? LOL. I now know…)
* Realized en route to church that the oven there is malfunctioning, so I in fact could not bake the giant lasagna
* Detoured to our old house that is currently between renters (and 2 minutes from the church–we now live 30 minutes away) to pop the lasagna into the oven
* Arrived 15 minutes late to knitting, and proceeded to spend the entire class prepping dinner, LOL. Though I completed 2 knitting projects last week, so I was between projects anyway!
* Drove over to fetch the lasagna, which I was none too convinced was done
* Had a quick (but tasty, if I do say so myself) dinner between would-be knitting and the time we’d set aside to prepare this community project for which we’d fetched gift cards (mini stockings we’ll be giving to every resident of a local senior’s apartment building)
* Spent an hour and a half with a great and dedicated team of church friends and homeschool friends, putting those stockings together
* Got home 5 minutes after kids’ bedtime with a headache so bad I wanted to cry/throw up, and realized my kitchen still had lasagna-making dishes covering every surface (my brilliant plan to do them later is suddenly looking quite foolish), my fridge had no room for the super-giant leftovers, and this had to be dealt with at least in part then and there
* Took 2 Aleve, put the kids to bed, and tackled the need-room-in-the-fridge problem.
* Went to sit on the bed while hubby watched hockey and whimpered over the headache. Decided some mint tea was order to settle the headache-induced nausea
* Felt the Aleve kick in in a blessed wave of relief. Finished tea. Went to sleep.
* Awoke a million times to the sound of incredibly intense wind whistling through the eaves
* Got up at 5:30 today.
My kitchen is still a mess, I still have a bit of a headache, I’ll have to go and fetch the cat from the vet this morning, etc. But you know what? That’s okay. It’s a new day. It’s frigid outside. Still dark as of when I’m writing this. But I have a new coffee pot that filled my cup with the most delicious coffee in the world (seriously), my kids are smiling, I have a giant bag full of finished stockings to give, and included in today’s plan is picking up a Christmas tree.
So I shall optimistically declare, “Today’s going to be a good day.” And with any luck, a little less busy than yesterday was. š
Thoughtful About . . . Our Voices
If this autumn has hammered anything home in the United States, it’s that everyone has an opinion. Not that I didn’t already know this, but seriously. I heard more opinions this election cycle than I can ever recall witnessing before. Every time we touched a toe into the waters of social media, wham! There they were. The opinions of every. Single. Person we know.
I know very well I wasn’t the only one overwhelmed by it.
And it isn’t over.
There are protests. Speeches given at the end of plays. Countless shows on TV and the internet dedicated to talking heads.
Everyone, in 2016, has a voice. And everyone, in 2016, has the means of making it heard.
I certainly can’t sit here on my blog, having tabbed over from the books I’m writing, and say there’s anything wrong with that. I have a voice. I have somehow managed to convince thousands of people to listen to me, at least for a few hours while they have my stories in their hands. And so, I’ve been pondering for weeks why it bothers me so much to be bombarded with other people’s opinions every time I emerge into the world of communications.
Then it struck me. And it’s two-fold.
America was founded on the idea of individuals having a voice, having a God-given right to it. But it was also founded on the idea of giving those people particular means of expressing it–the vote, and a free press. In centuries past, if you wanted your voice to be heard other than through whom you voted for, you had to go out and seek someone willing not only to listen to it, but to publish it for you.
Today, you need only have an account on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc.
In centuries past, you had the RIGHT to be heard–but you had to WORK for the PRIVILEGE of having people LISTEN.
Because it comes down to this.
This is what many people I’ve seen on social media seem to forget. That, yes, they can say whatever they want–but people aren’t being cruel or bigoted or stupid or careless or [insert derogatory adjective here] if they don’t immediately change their own view to match and applaud the speaker for their brilliance and sound reasoning and excellent point and [insert praise of their intellectual prowess here].
Because there are too many voices. It’s become a cacophony. It’s deafening and confusing and, worse, focused all too often on destruction rather than edifying. Most of the voices hammering their way to the forefront aren’t trying to build anyone up–they’re trying to tear down whoever doesn’t agree with them.
By all means, America and the world, exercise your voice. It’s your God-given right to have it and use it. But remember that it is not everyone else’s God-given obligation to listen. We can’t. And let’s also keep in mind that just because an opinion is OURS doesn’t mean it is RIGHT or that anyone who disagrees is STUPID. This is another all-too-familiar refrain these days, isn’t it? That if you don’t agree with me, you must be an idiot.
Well, I mean, sure, but… š
We don’t live in a humble society. But I think we could use a dose of it. We could all benefit from the reminder that we are not by default right. And more:
One of the things we have to teach our toddlers, who are just finding their voice, is that they can’t always use it, right? That it’s okay to jabber at us at home or in the car, but not while we’re on the phone. Or while the baby’s napping. Or in church. There’s a correct time and place. And volume. And way to share what they’re thinking, with manners and concern for those around them. It’s not okay to throw down the gift someone has given them and proclaim it stupid and say they don’t want it.
But that’s exactly how society today behaves. We’re all a bunch of toddlers throwing a tantrum on the floor, proclaiming that this is the way it is, and you need to listen now, now, now.
That famed passage in Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
I posit that it’s a truly wise person who knows the difference.













Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, sheās homeschooling her two kids, editing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her booksā¦to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.