Throwback Thursday – Soul-Tidying

Throwback Thursday – Soul-Tidying

Original post published 9/19/19.

I’m not the world’s best housekeeper. This is no secret–I mean, I put it right in my official bio. 😉 Yes, “pretending my house will clean itself” is part of my charming naivete. Ahem. Or at the very least, keeping everything put in its proper place isn’t my priority. That goes to educating my kids, writing books, designing covers, feeding the family, exercising, reading…pretty much anything else, LOL. I do keep up with the dishes and laundry. Just not with putting everything away.

Over the weekend, even I had had enough of the clutter, so I spent a few hours reorganizing the utility closet, breaking down boxes that were trash, and clearing off counters. And, as usual, as I did so, I kept coming across things I’d forgotten were there. “Oh, so that’s where that was.” Or “Why in the world didn’t I throw this away yet?”

Even the neatest people probably have little corners or drawers that gather clutter, right? We’ve all experienced this. And as someone who has experienced it more than, say, my sister (LOL), allow me to explain how it happens:
When something’s been there for a while, we cease to see it. It becomes part of the background. Normal. Our eyes adjust to it being there, and it no longer strikes us as wrong, as worth fixing…until eventually, the mess gets too big to be ignored.
When it comes to the empty boxes that pile up in my kitchen, this seriously isn’t that big a deal.
But what about when it comes to our souls?

Sin, my friends, works a lot like clutter. It sneaks its way in, and maybe when we see it the first time or two, we think, “Oh, that won’t do. I’d better take care of that…” But then we don’t. Why? Because it’s easier to ignore it. We’re busy. Because, frankly, clearing out sin is no fun and usually involves a bit of humility (much like cleaning out my junked-up counters does). It’s easier to say we’ll take care of it soon. Tomorrow. Sunday. Next week. Sometime when we’re not running out the door or overwhelmed by “more pressing” matters.

But then we cease to see it. It becomes part of the background. Normal. Our spiritual eyes adjust to it being there, and it no longer strikes us as wrong, as worth fixing…until eventually, the sin gets too big to be ignored.
And then where are we? Exactly where I am when my house has gotten to that point–in for a long clean-up effort.
Because let me just tell you, it’s a whole lot easier to nip jealousy in the bud the first moment it rears its ugly green head than after we’ve let it fester into resentment and hatred. It’s easier to apologize for that nasty thing we said right away than after we’ve walked away and let it keep on battering the recipient.
It’s easier to choose to love and forgive the moment we’re hurt than to have to wrestle with it years later.
Hmm…not sure of that one? I wasn’t either when the example popped into my head. And I’m not going to say it’s humanly easier. But isn’t that exactly the example Christ gives us? While He’s still hanging on the cross, He’s forgiving those who put Him there. What would our lives look like if we forgave those who hurt us while we were still suffering the first throes of consequences?
I try to find little ways to train myself into better housekeeping habits–things like watching something fun while folding laundry, and vacuuming the floors before I sit down on them to do that. Things like certain days being Bathroom Cleaning days. 
But far more important is tidying my soul. What are we doing to make sure we stay clear of the clutter of sin? Are we vacuuming up the filth of this world from our selves, keeping our spirits white as snow?
We know we need to tidy our houses…but let’s not forget to tidy our souls with far more care and attention.
Throwback Thursday – The Inspiration

Throwback Thursday – The Inspiration

Original post published January 10, 2019

We serve a gracious God, don’t we? Not only has He given us His Son, His Word, but He continues to speak and minister to us today. As a creative, I can tell you in all honesty that there are many days when I just have to squeeze my eyes shut and say, “Give me the words, Lord. I’m not sure I have them otherwise.” And He does. Because He is oh-so-faithful.

As someone who pretty much lives and breathes the publishing industry, I know this is pretty common. And I know many, many of us have been given  stories to tell by the Lord. Now, that’s not saying these are Scripture. But they still contain Truth. They still have something in them that will minister to His children. This is a sacred calling, in my mind.

But this can come with danger, too. As an author, editor, and designer, I talk to a lot of authors. Whether they’re working on novels, non-fiction, screenplays, poems, or songs, writers are always going to be seekers of inspiration. And there’s something I’ve heard more often than I can count. Some variation of:

God gave me this story.
God downloaded this story straight to my brain.
God told me to write this.

Maybe people say that because they want everyone else to be as excited about it as they are. But…here’s the thing. All too often, people use inspiration as an excuse for laziness. They think that because God provided the idea, that they don’t have to do anything other than write it down.
Oh, my friends. Please. Please don’t treat the Lord’s whisper so cheaply!
There’s a story of a missionary who, as a young woman, realized that God was calling her to serve as a doctor to the women of a remote area of India, where the women were otherwise not permitted to seek medical care if it would involve a male doctor tending them. This came to her like a bolt. An epiphany. A sure calling.
But she did not, therefore, stroll out into the village at the age of eighteen and say, “Okay, y’all, God told me to be your doctor, so here I am! Come be doctored!” That would have been ridiculous, right? She had to first go to college, then to med school. She had to do internships and residencies. It took her years before she was ready to make good on that call. That inspiration. And she did it because that’s what it took to answer God’s call. It took WORK.
Why do authors sometimes think the stories or ideas He gives us deserve less? Or that they can never be changed or edited or tweaked?
Here’s what I’ve discovered: God gives us the inspiration we need to get started. But that just the beginning. Not the end.

My own example exists in A Soft Breath of Wind. If you want to talk about God “downloading” a story to your brain, this is the one I’d had that experience with. We’d just moved back home after living in Annapolis for years. Xoe was a few months old. A Stray Drop of Blood was just a few months older. I’d had no intention of writing a sequel to it, but as I rocked Xoe one morning, it came to me. Who Quickens the Dead, it was called. That sequel I hadn’t planned to write.

Benjamin and Samuel, all grown up. Two young women, one with the gift of discernment, one who was demon-possessed. In the course of the next two days, this very long and involved story came to me in full detail. I’m talking, sit down and write pages and pages of notes detail. I had full scenes in my head. The complete cast of characters. The themes, the plot, the beautiful Truths I wanted to draw out.
In that lovely frenzy of inspiration, I sat down and wrote a chapter. And then I screwed up my nose. Because it stank. I knew enough to know that. This, though it exactly followed the inspiration God had given me, was not good enough.
Years went by. I wrote other books. This one was always there, waiting, and a few times I drew it out and fiddled with it. I learned more, I wrote more, I did more, I got other contracts, Stray Drop began genuinely selling. But every time I considered this God-given story, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the time for it wasn’t ripe yet. I wasn’t ready. Maybe I had the inspiration, but I didn’t yet have the ability to make it what it deserved to be.

Seven years later, the moment finally came. And in such a way there was no mistaking it. I was hard at work on a historical romance, just getting started on it, when I had a Skype call with a book club who had just read A Stray Drop of Blood. Now, it had been seven years since that book released–let’s just say, my brain wasn’t really in that mode. But as I talked to these ladies, He moved me to tears at how He was still using this story. And when they asked me if I had a sequel planned and I gave my usual, “Yeah, I have one planned out, I just haven’t had a chance to write it” speech, something stirred within me.

It was time. In the next week, I came up with a more compelling title and designed a cover. I drew out those old notes, and I gave it an overhaul to make it more powerful.
And then God gave me the time to write it…in the form of a cancellation of the contract I’d been under. Not exactly how I expected that to happen, but He really couldn’t have been any clearer! I’d prayed, “Lord, I know You want me to write this, that I’m capable of it now, but I just don’t have time…” and there we go–He made time for me, LOL.
So I wrote the book, WhiteFire published the book. And I’m pleased with how it turned out. But you know what? It’s not identical to that idea I got when my daughter was a baby. Things changed as I wrote it. And they changed for the better. What God gave me was raw material. I had to cut it and polish it and turn it into something worthy of the passion He’d given me for it.
I think we often have this idea that, when God whispers to our spirit, if we change anything at all, we’re disobeying.
I can’t believe that’s true. God gives us what we need. But as we work, we grow. The visions and ideas that got us started often evolve into something even more amazing that we could have imagined–because that’s how God works. He takes our humble offerings–our time and hard work and passion–and adds His glory to them.
Our job isn’t to cling to the raw materials and claim they’re the end-all, be-all. Our job is to work them. To give them the love and care they deserve. To make them the best they can be. And to admit that maybe we don’t always know best–which might mean we don’t even know exactly what He gave us.
Sometimes it’s only through the exploration of a calling that we truly learn what it was He gave us at the beginning.

Unworthy but Willing

Unworthy but Willing

 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?”
Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”
~ Isaiah 6:8

We all know that verse, right? There are songs about it. It’s a key verse for missionaries around the world. It encapsulates the eagerness that we as followers of the One True God ought to feel. I’m here, Lord! Right here! Send me!

But have you read (or do you remember) the passage leading up to that eager response from the prophet? In a vision, he’s brought into the very throne room of God, where he sees the Lord sitting on a throne, His robes taking up the whole chamber. He was surrounded by seraphim, who were singing of His glory. Seraphim who used wings to cover their own faces and feet as well as to fly, knowing they were unworthy to look upon the face of the Almighty.

And Isaiah, one of the greatest prophets of all time, literally quaked in his shoes. Isaiah, whose calling was to give the words of the Lord to the people, knew he was doomed. He wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t worthy to be in God’s presence. Here is his response:

“Woe is me! For I am lost;
for I am a man of unclean lips,
and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”

In the face of the perfection and majesty of the Lord, this man–set apart by Him for holy work already–knew that basic truth that we all must face. He wasn’t good enough. His lips, the things used to give those words of the Lord to the people, weren’t good enough. Weren’t righteous enough. He knew he was in that throne room for a purpose, to receive some instruction from the Lord, and he wasn’t worthy. More, the people weren’t worthy to receive such a word.

The perfection and majesty of the Lord demand we recognize our own failings. That we become so struck by them that we cry out and weep and perhaps even give all up for lost. We see a similar reaction in Simon Peter when he’s called to follow Christ, when he hauls up those nets bursting with fish and falls at the feet of Jesus.

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”
~ Luke 5:8b

Sin cannot stand before God. The unworthy cannot survive in the face of the Worthiest of Our Praise. But notice that neither of these two men ran away–because while infinitely aware of their own unworthy natures, they were also infinitely drawn to that perfection. They wanted to be able to stand before Him. They wanted to be made worthy.

In the passage in Isaiah 6, one of the seraphim takes a live coal and touches it to Isaiah’s lips. Just reading the words, maybe we skim right over it to get to the good part, where he says, “Here I am!” But take a second to let that sink in. When Isaiah declares himself unclean, God’s reaction is not to say, “Oh, you’re fine. All’s forgiven. Go on, now.”

No. God’s response is not just to cleanse him, but to cauterize. To sear. To brand. He cleanses with fire, the kind that makes a man scream in pain. But the impurities are gone, then. Not just washed away, burned away. Only then does the Lord ask who He shall send. Only then can Isaiah replace his hesitancy and fear with joy and eagerness and offer himself up.

In the Gospel account, Jesus certainly doesn’t take a live coal to Peter’s lips. He doesn’t even say his sins are forgiven. But he says something just as hard: “Follow me.” He’d just helped Peter pull in the biggest catch of his career, the sort that is made for fish stories, right? And what does He demand? Leave it. Walk away. Don’t look back. Follow me.

And they did. That’s why we know who Peter and Andrew, James and John, Isaiah are. We know because they obeyed. The underwent the trial by fire. They offered their lives and efforts and possessions to God, accepted His painful cleansing, and followed.

I talk a lot about callings, about walking worthy of that ultimate call to follow Christ. I talk a lot about it, because it’s the most important thing any of us can ever do. I talk a lot about it, because it’s hard. And these two passages sum up why: because it’s never just a matter of hearing His call and saying, “Yeah, sure, okay. I can do that. Easy peasy.”

Nope. It’s a matter–always a matter–of first recognizing how impossible this thing is that He’s calling us to. How unworthy we are. How sinful we are. How unclean. It’s a matter of seeing ourselves in perfect contrast to the One who commissions us. It’s a matter of craving Him, craving His goodness so much that we’ll do anything, anything to dwell in His presence. We’ll wash, we’ll scrub, we’ll walk the fire. We’ll turn away from all the things we thought we were working for. We’ll abandon security and wealth and all the things of this world. All for a glimpse, a taste, a sip of the eternal that He offers.

That is the first step toward becoming worthy. Recognizing where we’re not, and offering that to God. Falling at His feet and just admitting it. “I’m not good enough, God. I’m not worthy to do this thing You ask.” And then accepting what He offers to cleanse us, to make us worthy. Accepting the pain and the hardship and the uncertainty. Accepting it because we know there’s something better standing just before us, because we know that the King is there, and He has a task for us to carry out for His kingdom.

Peter shows us all through the Gospels that sometimes eagerness gets in our way; sometimes pride will trip us up. Sometimes we prove over and over again that we really aren’t worthy. But he proves, too, that consistently offering ourselves up for God’s loving chastisement and guiding hand is all that it takes to be made useful and worthy once again. He shows us that living the faith wholeheartedly may not mean we never stumble, but it means we bounce back up to go and feed His sheep.

I don’t know where you are in your calling, in your faith, in your walk. Do you feel unworthy of this thing that’s looming before you? Not good enough? Or maybe you’ve been on this path for so long, and the storm is raging, and you’re crying out, “Why, Lord? Why did you send me here?” Maybe you’re in a period of peace and joy, ready to build three tabernacles to Jesus, Moses, and Elijah, because you’re so in awe of how He’s been transfigured before your very eyes. Or maybe you’re hiding away in an upper room, just willing the world to leave you alone, because it feels like your Lord is gone.

Wherever you are, know this: God is on His throne, and the seraphim are flying about Him, singing of His glory. He is on His throne, and that holy fire is burning in the throne room. Not to keep Him warm–why would He need that? It’s there for one purpose and one purpose only: to cleanse those who ask for it. To seal them. To prepare them for the mission He has prepared for them.

Will you shake your head and walk away sorrowful, like the rich young ruler? Or will you offer those unclean lips of your to God and say, “Here I am, Lord! Send ME!”

Who Are Our Enemies?

Who Are Our Enemies?

In our family devotional time, I’ve been noticing a trend in many of the psalms and canticles . . . there is a lot of talk about enemies. It’s in the songs . . . it’s in the prophecies . . . it’s in the praises. The writers of both Old and New Testaments talk a lot about being delivered from enemies. Being set free from enemies. Escaping enemies.

Then there’s our modern world, where we’re pretty much taught never to label anyone as an enemy, on the one hand . . . but where practically, anyone who disagrees with you can be branded as such.

Have we really given much thought, though, to what an enemy is? And why it’s such a basic part of the human condition?

The word is as ancient as the concept and has pretty much always meant what it means today–an adversary, a foe, someone with hateful or harmful intent. And certainly in the Bible we see plenty of literal examples of this. Many of the Davidic psalms that speak of enemies are speaking of literally running for one’s life.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that kind of enemy.

But part of the canticle of Zechariah, as he’s prophesying about his son John, he says this:

This was the oath He swore to our father Abraham:
to set us free from the hands of our enemies,
free to worship Him without fear,
holy and righteous in His sight
all the days of our life.

That made me sit up and look at “enemies” in a new way. Who or what are our true enemies? Those things and people who would keep us from worshiping God.

It could mean an oppressive government and its agents. It could mean a family member. It could mean those things we let take over our time. It could be a bully at school or the office. It could be a boss. It could be a spouse. It could be ourselves.

I don’t have anyone seeking my life . . . but do I have people in my life seeking to keep me from God?

Worse still, do I ever act as my own enemy in that sense? Do I let things or people or my own ideas get in the way of worshiping God freely and without fear? Or do we let the fear of what people will say, what they will do, how they will respond to us intimidate us into silence?

As a writer, I know that “enemies,” antagonists, can be anyone. Not necessarily always bad people, just people opposed to our hero. I’ve spent some time pondering whether we are in fact the antagonists in other people’s stories–and that comes into play here too. Are we being the enemy of another? Are we hindering someone else’s worship of God? Are we judging them for what we don’t understand? Are we getting in the way of their true worship with our logic and longing for things that are normal and safe? I mean, imagine your child feels a call like John the Baptist, to live in the wilderness, dress strangely, and eat bugs. Are you going to be praising God for that, or are you going to be mumbling, “Can’t you just get a real job and stop embarrassing me?” What would have happened had Zechariah taken that approach instead of proclaiming his son’s destiny with praise? He would have been an enemy, of John and of God.

Instead, we need to be like this doubting father who latched hold of what God was doing. We need to make certain we’re the allies of God and His followers, not the enemy.

And we also need to keep our eyes peeled for who in our own lives are acting out that part, however well-intentioned they think they are. Anything and anyone who comes between us and God is not our friend, not in that. And perhaps if we can see them as such, we can relegate them to their proper place.

The Way of the straight and narrow isn’t easy, and we’re going to be beset on every side. That doesn’t mean we go looking for persecution in every stray word . . . but it does mean that we remain always vigilant, knowing that our ultimate goal must always remain to worship Him. And that if there’s something coming between us and that goal, that’s something we need to give to Him in prayer and supplication. Because that is the battle He will fight for us.

And He is always the victor.

Eyes to See

Eyes to See

19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! 24 “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

~ Matthew 6:19-24 (ESV)

Have you ever read that passage above and wondered what the bit about the eye was doing in between the two parts about material things and greed? I’m not sure I ever really understood it … until I read it last week. And I can take no credit for this insight, LOL–it was in the notes. But oh, how clear it suddenly made it!

In Jewish tradition, the eye is considered the “lamp of the body.” The eyes are how we (normally) behold the world and recognize the situations around us. For most of us, our eyes give us our first impressions of people; we train ourselves to look more closely to notice details, to see beyond that first impression, but still, it’s a key part. It’s why words like vision encompass not only physical sight but also dreams and missions.

But the tradition is even richer than that. Eyes are also how we see our neighbors’ needs–they are how we recognize where to enact compassion. In this passage of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus isn’t talking about whether we need eyeglasses or not. No, He’s talking about that kind of sight, how well or poorly we truly see those around us. A common understanding of “bad eyes” and “good eyes” at the time was whether seeing those around you stirred you to compassion and almsgiving. If seeing the needs of others stirs you to do something to help them, then your eye was good. If not, it was bad.

Now suddenly this passage makes sense sandwiched between those two others, right? If you’re so concerned about the earthly treasures you’re trying to save up for yourself that you refuse to help someone in need, your eye is bad. Your eyes, which should be shedding light on your soul and shining it from your soul, is instead filling you up with darkness. You’re only seeing your wants instead of others’ needs. You’re blinded by greed.

And then what Jesus says next really hits home. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

If the very thing that should be light is not, then it’s just a matter of a lack we can shrug off. It’s not just that we’re “not doing a good enough job.” It’s that we’re actually spreading darkness–in ourselves and then from that broken lamp into the world. It’s not just that we’re not doing good–it’s that we’re doing harm.

If we are not serving God by loving others, then we are serving someone else. Mammon was the name of a pagan god of money. So if we’re more concerned with storing up wealth and doing what we want, then we are in fact worshiping this other god. You cannot both love money and love God.

We are called to love God and love others. And we’re called to demonstrate it in our actions, so that we are known by our fruits. This particular demonstration is for many of us, especially in the Western consumer culture, so difficult! Because yes, we need money. We need it to live and support our families and do the things He calls us to do.

So how do we strike that balance?

By never holding our treasures so close that we hesitate to give when our eyes see a need. By not evaluating that need based on what it will cost us, but on whether it will glorify Him to meet it.

Let’s never let anxiety for the future, for what we’ll eat or drink or wear tomorrow, keep us from helping someone today. We’re called to radical trust in God. Trust that He will care for us tomorrow–perhaps through someone else choosing to obediently meet our need. Can we get to the point where that is a joy–to receive help as surely as to give help? Can we walk in both humility and generosity?

Can we do it together? You shine that light for me…and I’ll shine it for you. And together, with our good eyes and our lamps shedding light onto our path, we can make our Way along the road He walked before us. The road that leads straight to the Kingdom of God.

Crosses of Purpose

Crosses of Purpose

I’ve done a lot of thinking and writing over the years about the Cross of Christ, and what that means for our crosses, too. I’ve mused about our Lord’s dread of the cross, being willing to give up everything to take up that cross and follow Him, and why one of the Gospels puts in that we need to daily take it up.

These are reflections that I usually ponder for obvious reasons during Holy Week, so I certainly didn’t expect to start a year off with a post about the cross. But during my prayer time last week, I was meditating on Jesus’ cross–the physical one, which both He and Simon the Cyrene carried–and something new occurred to me. And that is this:

When Jesus spoke so often throughout His ministry about us, His followers, taking up our crosses, He was certainly speaking about burdens and sacrifices, yes … but He knew something else about His own cross. He knew it wasn’t only about suffering and sacrifice. He also knew it was about PURPOSE.

Christ didn’t suffer and die and accept that burden of our sins for nothing. He did it for a purpose–the ultimate purpose. He did it for the salvation of all mankind.

We know this, of course … but have we ever paused to apply that to our crosses? Maybe you have, but it had never come to me in quite that way before. That He is calling us to take up our purpose. Our calling. He is calling us to walk that out every day. He is calling us to obey and act and carry it into our lives. Up that hill.

Is it a sacrifice? Yes. It is sometimes hard and heavy? Yes. Do we do it anyway? Yes. Because it’s worth it. He is worth it. Working for Him and His Kingdom is worth it.

We have many jobs in our lives, many things that employ our time. We celebrate the dignity of work, of earning, of enabling the survival of the families with whom God has trusted us.

But we are also ALL called to follow Him, first and foremost. We are called to go forth, every day and every week, and shine His light into this dark world. We are called to take up His cross, His passion, His purpose for our own and share about the salvation of mankind. To share in that salvation. We are called to go and to do and to obey.

For a purpose. His purpose. The purpose of the Cross.

How are we walking that out in our daily lives? How are we focusing first and foremost on it in our other work? Is everything we do for the purpose of the Cross … or are we at cross-purposes with Him?

What do we need to reevaluate as this year begins to align ourselves more fully with His purposes?