43 Things

43 Things

by | Aug 14, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays

If you’ve been hanging out here long with me, you’ll know that every year on my birthday, I’ve taken to writing a list of the corresponding number of “things” from the year I just completed that have really shaped me. Sometimes it’s silly products I discovered. Sometimes it’s things I love. Sometimes it’s things I hate. New habits. Discoveries. Achievements.

Most years, I start this list a month or two ahead of my birthday, because putting it together takes a lot of work, y’all. This year, I gave myself two whole weeks. Ahem. Let’s just say it’s been busy around here! But I love looking back over my last year, looking ahead into the year to come, and seeing what really stands out. So I hope you enjoy this little peek into the 43 things that have most shaped me this year too!

1. The End of Chemo!

My last chemo treatment was August 26, 2024, just 12 days after my birthday last year. And boy, was I happy to celebrate that milestone! I had what’s called a “total response” to the chemotherapy, which means that no cancer could be found when they went in for surgery. Big, big praise! I am SO grateful for this life-saving medicine…and also hated every minute of it, LOL. Chemo left me feeling sick for 3-4 months straight, so finishing it definitely deserved the chocolate cake I ate! 😉

2. Compression Socks

Go figure, it was AFTER I’d finished the last round of chemo that I began to retain water. Swollen ankles, painful legs…great fun. And of course, this hit right as I was scheduled to go to Kansas for a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie. So what’s a girl to do but buy some cute Pacas compression socks?

3. KC Writing Retreat

Three weeks after the end of chemo, I was in Kansas, having a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie! We weren’t sure at first if it would work out, but my oncologist told me, “Go!” So I went. And despite swollen legs and ankles, it was so great to get to spend a week with Stephanie, take walks, and focus on writing. I wrote A Likely Story for Guideposts while I was there, which just released!

4. SJC 20th Anniversary Homecoming!

I’m still not sure how it happened. Twenty years? Seriously? I’ve been out of college for twenty years? Apparently so, because as soon as I got home from Kansas, we were heading to Annapolis for Homecoming, celebrating those 20 years with some of our classmates and friends. It was pretty cool to get to be there for this while our daughter’s attending.

Unfortunately, I’d picked up a bug while traveling and was sick the whole weekend. =/ Low-grade fever, sore throat, basically feeling icky and miserable. On the bright side, the fever never got high enough for me to report to the ER (I still had orders to do so if I had a fever over 100.4), and it proved that my immune system was working, LOL.

5. Bilateral Mastectomy

It was a crazy couple weeks. I went from Kansas to Homecoming to surgery two weeks later, and I was very grateful that the bug I’d picked up had worked its way out so we didn’t have to postpone the big surgery.

I blogged at the time about why I was choosing a bilateral (double) mastectomy, and I’m glad I made the choices I did. Even so, it wasn’t what one would call easy. I had a lot of swelling and wasn’t allowed to unwrap my chest for a week. Had to deal with drains, sleep sitting up…several nights I ended up in our cushy leather chair rather than bed. I also discovered that I don’t do well with the meds they gave me. Made me itchy!

Recovery was officially 8 weeks, and though I was back to “normal” routine well before then, it was still uncomfortable at that point. Tissue expanders are not fun!

6. The Me I See

Having that mastectomy led me to muse on my self-image. Looking back on that post now, I can not only nod along but smile to realize that, months later, my self-image is still content. I am the me I chose to be. I am the me who is victorious over cancer. This me is a warrior, and I’ll wear my battle scars with pride.

7. Regrowing!

Hair. I missed my hair, I won’t lie, LOL. And I just wasn’t one of those people who went around in all my bald glory, because I was constantly cold if I did that. But as soon as the hair started regrowing, I was always HOT if I had anything on my head! I’ll be honest–it hasn’t grown as quickly as I’d like and as I’d hoped, LOL. But it came back thick and pretty much exactly like it was before, so yay! At this point, I’m just glad it looks like an intentional style. 😉

8. The Florida Keys

We didn’t get a family vacation last summer, so we decided to take one during Christmas break instead. Of course, we had to go pretty far south to guarantee warm weather in December…so we did. We went ALL the way south! It was our first trip to the Florida Keys, and while it’s not going to become an annual tradition (21 hours of driving), we’re so glad we went! We rented an oceanfront condo, and it was RIGHT on the beach. Such fun!

9. Pelicans

Okay, so the ocean was WAY too calm, LOL. We’re used to Outer Banks of North Carolina waves, and this was like a mill pond! But one thing we LOVED was that we got to watch the pelicans all day. Here’s a video I took one morning (our Morning Prayer app is playing in the background, LOL). So crazy to be able to hear the flapping of their wings against the water!

10. Tropical Christmas

We were in Florida until Dec 21, so naturally, it was full-on Christmas down there. Which was…weird, LOL. To us, it felt like summer vacation. But there we were, in the last full week of Advent. Seeing all the tropical Christmas decorations. It was definitely something that made us smile and laugh!

11. Prayer Garden

At the church near where we stayed in the Keys, they had a gorgeous prayer garden, which was all lit up for Christmas. We went over one evening and enjoyed a beautiful, peaceful hour meandering through all the little alcoves and areas. Photos can never do justice to light displays, but it was quite a sight!

12. ECPA Double Time

Kinda random place to put this one, but not only did I make the ECPA Bestseller list with BOTH of my end-of-year releases, but they were on the list for the same month! That’s definitely a first for me! Both Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor and An Honorable Deception were bestsellers in November 2024!

13. Savannah

On the way home from Florida, we took two nights in Savannah. Though I’d written a book set there, I’d never been in real life, and I had no idea if I would actually like it or not–I’m not a big city person. But oh my gracious! We fell in love! From the gorgeous basilica where we got to celebrate the last Sunday of Advent to the beauty of Forsythe Park decked out for Christmas, we were hooked! We stayed in a historic house right downtown, and it was just delightful. Mostly. Except…

14. Pillow Topper

Worst. Bed. Ever. At the AirBnB in Savannah, I mean. I was about 8 weeks post-op at this point, and the bed was so firm that I literally woke up each night near tears, it hurt so badly. At which point I confessed that our own bed at home was also too firm for me these days, which inspired my darling husband to find a pillow topper while we were still in Savannah, which arrived home right as we did. That first night back in our own bed with that new topper was AMAZING. Best. Bed. Ever. LOL.

15. Books for Christmas

My wishlist was pretty much books. Just books. All books, LOL. So David decided to get them ALL for me. There’s also a box set that didn’t make it into that picture for some reason, but it ended up being 12 books plus that boxset. I’d love to say “a book a month!” but let’s be real here. I’ve already read most of them…and their sequels. Ahem. Because of course he mostly got me first in series, so… (And also pictured here are books I got HIM, hence the number not being what I just claimed. If you cared to count, LOL.) It was a very bookish Christmas! Totally appropriate, as I then launched into writing The Christmas Book Flood. =D

16. Monk Manual

Last year, I got David a planner called the Monk Manual, which he really liked. This year, they came out with a new version that includes calendar spreads, so we both got one. I’ve been using it all year, and though there are things I’d tweak, there is so much I LOVE about this beautiful planner! There are spreads for each month, then weekly planning pages, then weekly reflection pages. The idea behind it is intentionality, gratitude, and reflection. So it’s not just about writing down your to-do list, but also reflecting on how each week went, what you’d like to change or improve, what you’re grateful for…basicaly, incorporating devotional techniques into your planning.

17. Radiation

I needed 15 radiation therapy treatments, which began the day after Christmas and stretched into January, five days a week minus New Year’s Day. As courses of treatment go, this was pretty much bare minimum, and I didn’t have crazy side effects. A bit of a rash (which may have been itchy had it not been where I have no more nerves thanks to surgery, so hey, that worked out! LOL), what looked like a mild sunburn and some discomfort, and the tiredness hit about a week after I finished. Not too bad though! It definitely, however, made me aware of how difficult it often is for those who require more treatments. Mine stopped before things got too burned, but if I’d been one of the people with 30 treatments, it would have been a far different story.

18. Oh My SNOW!

The worst part about radiation in January? Driving through the mountains to get to the hospital! The 90-minute drive takes us through some high elevations known for their grueling winters, and oh my goodness, y’all. It got to the point where even when it said 0% chance of snow, this is what the roads looked like. And since my treatment was at 7 am, we had to leave home no later than 5:30, which meant driving in the DARK and the snow.

Yeah, so, we ended up at a hotel for the last week and several snowy days in the middle week, LOL. Definitely a wise choice. There was a morning in Morgantown where the roads were so bad we opted to walk to the hospital rather than drive it (our hotel was right across the street).

19. Co-Creating with Our Creator – Conference!

I’ve spoken at plenty of writers conferences before, and done visits to things like MomCo groups and historical societies, but in April, I had the joy of a first for me–to be the keynote speaker at a women’s conference in Kansas. One of my P&P ladies, Laura, suggested me to them, and I got to stay with her while I was there. It was a 1-day conference, and the theme was Co-Creating with Our Creator…which I LOVED!! It was such an awesome trip, hanging out with Laura and Julie (another P&P friend who flew in from Texas to join us), talking to these ladies all day about how God created us to be creative in His image, and how it’s worship to honor that. What a joy!

20. Goodbye Lilly =(

Two years ago, we had three cats. We lost Sammy to feline leukemia and Ivy to a tumor in her head within a month of each other, which broke our hearts. But we still had Lilly, who had been the alpha cat…and also the one with health issues that we’d always thought would make her the first to go. She held on, though, and was her usual dominant, happy self even after her human, Xoe, went to college. She adopted me as a replacement, LOL. Well, this spring Lilly was diagnosed with kidney failure. The vets said she could live a while with it, perhaps, but it wasn’t to be. Our precious kitty died on Palm Sunday, and though it was a loss that hit hard, the timing actually made my heart so tender during Holy Week that I could reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus in a whole new way, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. 

It’s strange to be a without a pet now, and David keeps threatening to come home with 17 kittens. For now, though, I’m just not ready for another.

21. Captivated

The ladies at WhiteCrown decided it would be fun to put an anthology of short stories together for National Princess Day in April. We all agreed that we’d write stories set in our WhiteCrown worlds, make them about 10,000 words, and give the anthology away for a month, then take it down and do whatever we liked with our stories.

Mine was Captivated, the story of Seidon’s parents (he’s the hero in Awakened). It was so much fun to explore the people who would have shaped him and put them in a little adventure. And when I put it up as its own thing, I had Xoe do the art for my cover! She was super excited to get to do some mermaid art, and I think she did an amazing job! =)

You can grab it for only 99¢ from my shop (not available anywhere else just now).

22. Another Senior!

At the end of school last year, I looked at the requirements for graduation and said to Rowyn, who’d just finished 10th grade, “You know, you could just graduate next year if you took two extra classes.”

To which he replied, “Why would I want to do that?”

Then, over the summer, he thought it over, apparently. Because as we were ready to begin our school year last August, he said, “I’m going to do it. I’m going to finish this year.” It required doing two English classes, two math classes, history, advanced biology, Italian, and a couple other electives, but the kid was determined. And not only did he finish, but he got the majority of it done by Thanksgiving! (Some of his online classes wouldn’t let him go that fast, LOL, so those he finished up second semester.)

This kid doesn’t like school. He doesn’t like to read. But he’s GOOD at it. So he put his nose to the grindstone, read a book a day, plowed through calculus, and did an amazing job. He doesn’t want to go on to college at the moment, so he’s going to take this year he just “bought” himself to see if he can make money with his video game building. I figure this is the perfect time for him to chase his dreams! He earned it!

23. Graduation!

So of course, that means we had another graduation! I still can’t quite believe my homeschooling career is over. I’ve been doing this since 2009. But for the first time, my August is not being spent arranging and selecting curriculum, building schedules, or registering for classes. Instead, in May I got to watch my baby graduate with our homeschool group and celebrate with his best friends.

24. Book Bans

When I heard that the Naval Academy in Annapolis was told to remove 381 books from their collection this spring, I was horrified. Banning books isn’t cool, yo. I’d just written a whole novel about it. With The Collector of Burned Books fresh in my mind and heart, I shared about this ban on Facebook and Instagram and ended up talking about it in some of my writers’ groups as well.

Now, let’s be clear. I don’t talk politics. And in my mind, this isn’t about politics. This is about books. This is about freedom. This is about philosophy. And books–that’s my lane.

I’ll be honest though. It was a stressful week. Because while 98% of people agreed with my stance and thanked me for sharing and those posts soared to hits and share numbers I’ve never seen on anything else in my life of social media, the 2% of those who disagreed with me were not only vocal but went on the attack. Suddenly I was being called a Nazi for calling this out, and it would be my fault if violence ever comes, because I villainized the people doing the banning. What I did was point out that government-led bans is the first step toward a bad place, and we need to be careful. I stand by that.

So I lost a few readers. And I gained a few readers. I refined my stance. And I won’t apologize for it.

I’m the proud champion of books, even books I hate.

25. Our 2025 Writing Retreat in Arnold, MD

Though Stephanie and I just had our 2024 retreat in September, we wanted to get back on a spring schedule, so in May, we got to do it again! We stayed in Arnold, MD, which is super close to Annapolis (and an airport, LOL, which is why we went there, since it was Stephanie’s turn to fly to me). We got to have dinner with Xoe and one of her friends over the weekend, and after checking out, we learned that the owner of the AirBnB we’d stayed out is in fact a Johnnie (St. John’s alum) too, and the crew coach there now!

I worked on Aflame while I was there, which was a ton of fun. I had pretty much ZERO idea where the story was going, so it was in many ways the least organized I’ve ever been on retreat, discovery all the way. But I had a blast.

26. The BEAST of a Printer

Another totally random placement in list, but yeah. So, in September, we decided to invest in a commercial printer that would allow us to print book edges. I say “invest” because this thing cost more than my daughter’s car, LOL. We had to order it straight from China, and it was supposed to arrive in late October or early November.

It did not. It didn’t arrive until December, the day before we were leaving for Florida. And it is HUGE. The shipping crate it came in weighed hundreds of pounds. We shoved it in a shed while we were away, then came radiation, so it just sat there for a while. We finally got it over to the office…and had to take off the sliding glass door to get it inside. Only to discover it wouldn’t then fit through ANY interior door, so it gets to live in the kitchen of the house we use as our office.

It’s a monster. A beast. And more complicated than any piece of equipment we’ve ever owned. As in, David couldn’t figure it out on his own or just with the manual, because the manual didn’t actually match the software it came with. So the poor guy had to get on live with the team in China one night, starting at 9, and was on with them until they went to lunch at our midnight. By that point, he had a good enough handle that he could figure the rest out. He didn’t get home until 2 a.m.

But he did it! We were finally able to print book edges!

Of course, this beast can do more than that. We can print candles, mugs, totes, posters…you name it. =)

27. ALA

I have dreamed for years of someday attending the American Library Association’s annual convention. I mean, huge convention center filled with books and book lovers? YES, PLEASE! So When Tyndale invited me to come to Philly in June to sign The Collector of Burned Books, I was STOKED.

Naturally, I said to Xoe, “Should I buy a 1940s era dress and hat to wear??” And naturally, she said, “Well, DUH. YES!”

So I went (online) shopping and found two super cute dresses from the same brand. I had no idea what size I’d need, so I bought a small in one design and a medium in another (both used on Poshmark). The small arrived first and barely fit over my hips when unzipped, so I passed that one to 5’1″ size-0 Xoe, whom it fit like a glove. Then prayed the medium would work. And it fit me like a glove! 

I bought a 40s style felt hat from Amazon…which showed up not looking like the image AT ALL. Instead of flat flower petals, it had these “flowers” sticking straight out. So I took the liberty of pulling them off and then redesigning it myself to have the silhouete I preferred. 😉 And I love how it turned out!

I felt tres chic walking through the convention, but not like I was in costume. I got SO MANY compliments, someone saying I was the most fabulously dressed person there, so that made my day. And of course, the whole point was to draw attention to the book. My signing was supposed to start at 11, but there were some people who couldn’t come then and asked if I’d sign books for them early. That was fine with me and the team manning the booth, so I signed a couple copies…and then people just started lining up. So I kept signing. And signing. And signing. We ran out of books. Then we ran out of the ARCs they’d brought “just in case.” 

It was such fun!! The signing, the chatting with librarians, the exploring of the convention center. I’d go back in a heartbeat!

28. Hoopla Collab

Not long before ALA, Hoopla (the library app) invited me to do a collaboration, in which I make a video plugging The Collector of Burned Books and how it’s available on Hoopla for their social media accounts. This sounded super fun, so I filmed it in front of my Paris wall. I also got to meet with Hoopla at ALA, and they told me about their book features too.

A week or so after the book released, a friend of mine reached out to say my book had been front and center in her Hoopla app that morning, so she grabbed it to listen to on vacation. =) It’s just always fun when things work as they should, LOL.

29. Press Run of Awakened

So if you’re not in the publishing world, here’s a crash course in printing. Big publishers like Harvest House, Bethany House, Tyndale, and Guideposts (my publishers) do what’s called press runs. They send a book to a press, that does runs of hundreds to thousands at a time. Printing the books in bulk means the price per book is low.

Our company, however, uses print on demand technology, which prints books one at a time. It allows us to order a case instead of a pallet, which is awesome. Means we don’t have to warehouse our books.

But for Awakened, we knew we were going to do a special edition with printed edges, and we decided a press run would make more sense for it. So we ordered one. And the books turned out BEAUTIFULLY! We were able to add a subtle spot-gloss on the Awakening mark and title on the cover, and the colors just popped so much better than in the print-on-demand version (which we got as a proof from our usual printer too).

But it’s a lot of books, LOL. Hopefully they’ll fly off the shelves, though, when people see…

30. Printed Edges!

As hinted at in the printer one, these took FOREVER (and a day) to figure out fully, but once David had it figured out…WOW! I hope everyone thinks they were worth the wait, because these babies turned out to be so fantastic!!

 31. Read Dangerously

I decided that I would sign The Collector of Burned Books with the challenge of “Read dangerously.” So naturally, I thought that would make a fun design to sell too. 😉 I spent waaaaaay too long designing that bookshelf with actual banned book titles, but I LOVE how it turned out! I’ve been wearing my T-shirt and drinking from my insulated tumbler and just love it!

32. Pact Organic Dresses

Okay, so I’m totally a sucker for Facebook ads. And I frequently get clothes ones, because I’m also a sucker for dresses. 😉 Well, one of these ads led me to Pact, which is all organic cotton. I really liked the style of their dresses, and they all have POCKETS, but they’re also kinda pricey, so…I hemmed and hawed. Eventually they were running a sale, so I splurged and bought one of their A-line midi dresses.

Best. Dress. Ever. It was so comfortable. It had POCKETS. It was cute and fit like a dream.

Not long after I got that first one, I got a new book contract, and celebrating with another new dress seemed totally appropriate. Then more contracts came in, so…yeah. I now have quite a few of these and have been wearing them nearly every day. No regrets!!

33. Coming to the STAGE!

I was super excited when Fidele Youth Dance Company adapted one of our WhiteCrown books by Hannah Currie, Bring Her Home, for the stage a couple years ago. So when Mimi of Fidele reached out to see if I’d be willing to let them do the same for Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor, I was beyond thrilled. My story, as a ballet? My Nutcracker-inspired story as a ballet? Cue all the excited squeals!

I’m sure this will make my list next year too, after I actually go and see the show. But for now, the anticipation itself makes the list! And if you’re in the Colorado Springs area, it would be awesome to meet you there!

34. Frøya Organics Skincare

After chemo and radiation, I looked in the mirror and just saw someone who’d been sick for months. I felt like I’d aged years in the last six months. My skin was dry and lusterless, and I just decided I wanted to pamper my face a bit. So I invested in some skin care from Froya Organics (that I’d also seen ads for on social media, LOL) that is all Nordic balms.

I got their anti-aging set, as well as their acne treatment and joint balm. And I will say this. My skin feels nourished now. I’ve always been prone to (fairly mild but always there) acne, and while it hasn’t eliminated it, it’s made it so that they’re small and last a day rather than a week, which I count as a win. They smell great, they feel great on, and though they claim that the little jars are a 60-day supply, mine have lasted far longer than that (because I don’t honestly remember to use them all every day, LOL). Is it the miracle working stuff they claim? I wouldn’t go that far. But I love it, and I love how my skin feels now.

35. MidJourney VIDEOS!

Last year I was super excited to begin using MidJourney’s AI images, which can help me streamline my design work a ton. I especially loved it for character images…especially for my fantasy world. Because these are things I just DO NOT HAVE without AI. As in, at all. But now I do. Well, recently MidJourney launched their video creation! You start with an image and then give instructions on how to animate it. I’ve done a ton for my fantasy worlds but also for The Collector of Burned Books. So fun!! You can see more of the ones I created on the Fantasy page and the posts and pages linked from there. =D

36. Just…ALL THE BOOKS

So last year was an “easy” year. Moving from Bethany House to Tyndale meant only one full length historical romance instead of 2, and with cancer treatments, that worked out perfectly. I think I turned in four books in 2024. This year, however…ahem. Since my last birthday, I have turned in SEVEN books. And in 2025, it’ll be EIGHT. That’s just…insane. Utter madness. I still have two more due this year, and I have a “bonus” novel halfway done too. What can I say? I love my job, LOL.

37. The END of Cancer Treatments!

So after chemo, I was still getting treatments every three weeks of two of the drugs that had been in the chemo cocktail, but which aren’t chemo. They’re the ones targeted specifically at my type of protein-fed cancer, meant to block it from coming back. I started these during an IV bag shortage after a hurricane last fall, so I was approved to get them as injections instead of infusions. That meant 5 minutes instead of an hour, so suited me fine!

These treatments are designed to take you through one year of treatments, meaning I had eleven of them after the end of chemo. They were pretty much no big deal, aside from taking the trip to Morgantown. I finished up the last of them in May, a week after my one-year anniversary of my first chemo treatment. And that meant that cancer treatments were finally 100% DONE!!!

WOOT!

38. Reconstruction

But of course, reconstruction wasn’t. 😉 I had to wait six months after the completion of radiation for my final surgery, to give my skin and tissue and blood vessels time to heal. I just had that final surgery on July 22. I was SO excited to get those tissue expanders out (not. comfy.), and the surgery itself was easy and the aftermath SO much easier than the mastectomy.

Except that surgery triggered a migraine. It’s been several years since I’ve had one of these, and I didn’t have a prescription for it. Honestly, it took me days to even realize that the incessant headache + incessant nausea was a migraine. I ended up vomiting from it quite a few times (a first for me. Yay.) and it lingered for a week and a half. Not fun, guys. Not fun. I had to back out of an online conference I was supposed to be teaching at, reschedule a Facebook live to celebrate The Collector of Burned Books…yeah.

But I’m SO glad to have this surgery behind me!

39. Hearthlight Crate!

A couple months ago, a lovely young woman reached out to me about a new book box she wanted to create, featuring God-honoring romantasies. There are SO MANY romantasy/fantasy book boxes out there that are gorgeous and fun…but they’re also usually spicy. Hearthlight will be closed door romantasy. She was considering Awakened for her first selection, and I was obviously thrilled about this. Well, she did end up choosing my story for their debut box!

Hearthlight Crate is using the phrase “noblebright book box,” which I love. Gabrielle has an amazing vision and true determination to bring it to life. The box will include a special edition hardcover version of Awakened with a new jacket design with foil accents, endpaper art, probably edge art, maybe a ribbon bookmark…it’s going to be EPIC, guys!! And then fun tie-in objects too, like candles, luxury book marks, maybe resin figures or other art…those details haven’t been finalized. But I am sooooo excited!

Of course, this all depends on the box being funded. Gabrielle has a Kickstarter page built, which isn’t live yet, but you can sign up to be notified when the funding is in process! This is such a cool vision, I plan to donate so I can get ALL the boxes too. =D

Check out Hearthlight Crate on Kickstarter!

40.The Collector of Burned Books

And…The Collector of Burned Books released!!!! Guys, I am so, so excited about this book. It’s a theme I’m passionate about–the link between books, freedom of thought, and freedom. It was in many ways a love letter to my education at St. John’s. It was an exploration of why the freedom to chose our own reading material is so crucial to society. Yet also a look into why people ban or burn books. It’s a romance that I loved diving deep into. But it’s also one of the only books I’ve written that has an appeal way outside my usual “Christian Historical Romance” crowd. I was interviewed about its themes for Psychology Today. At ALA, I had librarians coming up and saying, “Oh, I’ve been seeing this book talked about everywhere!” And it turned out to be far more timely than I expected, given the book banning going on these days by folks on BOTH sides of the political aisle.

Will it be hugely successful? No clue. Obviously I hope and pray so, as I always do. But even if not, writing it changed me. Writing it opened doors. Writing it made me a better person. And I pray that God uses this book however He wills.

41. Fantasy-fantasy-fantasy

So in addition to writing Captivated and Aflame this year, I’ve also spent a lot of my “free” time working on a bonus story for the world, a prequel about the evil First Sea King, Foretold. I’ve gotten a start on the official third book in the series, Aflame. I’ve planned out other shorts and bonus stories, two of which I can’t even talk about yet because they would give away things from the main books, LOL. These books are like vacation for my brain, and I can get lost in my fantasy world for hours on end. I really, really hope readers like this world as much as I do! You can check out most of what I have planned and explore the world on my Fantasy page!

42. The Island …Shop books!

Last year right around my birthday, I turned in The Island Bookshop to Guideposts. It’s a first for me–a contemporary romance with a historical thread, set at one of my favorite places in the world–Avon, NC, in the Outer Banks. Well, The Island Bookshop released this spring/summer (staggered release), and I’m so excited to see the enthusiastic response to this story that’s in some ways a lot lighter than my historicals, but also full of family drama and hard choices. And this spring, I was super excited to sign the contract for the sequel! The Island Bakeshop will release next year. I haven’t written it yet (it’s due in October), but I LOVE the story I came up with for it. If all goes to plan, there will be a third book called The Island Bikeshop too. =)

43. Up to 55 Contracted Books!

I’ve been at this writing thing (professionally) for about 15 years. At first, I was happy to put out a book a year. Then two. But those numbers keep climbing, and when I look at my book list now, I realize that I have 55 books either out or under contract! That’s a lot of books! It is so humbling and exhilarating both to realize that I get to do this thing I love for a living. That it can support our family. That I get to use my words to share what God has taught me and what He keeps on teaching me through the stories He puts on my heart.

I’m so excited to keep working on these stories, and so grateful to YOU for supporting me and speaking life and encouragement into me with your support! Your emails, comments, and notes always make my day!

In summary, 42 was a year of cancer treatmeants…and END of treatments. It was a year of story. It was a year of travel and new experiences. It was a year of risk-taking and learning how to bring new visions to life. It was a year of surgeries and new self-image.

It was a year of blessing. Of renewal. Of celebration.

I have a few ideas of what 43 will include, if things go to plan. And of course, lots of room for surprises and unexpected twists and turns (because when does life NOT include those?). And I am so, so excited to walk forward into it and see what my good, good Father has in store for me next!

Why It’s Important to Read Widely

Why It’s Important to Read Widely

by | Aug 7, 2025 | Thoughtful Thursdays

Several months ago, I got an email out of the blue, from a book reviewer and columnist for Psychology Today. She wondered if I’d be interested in doing an interview on The Collector of Burned Books that would focus on the importance of exercising our freedom to read widely.

Obviously, I said yes. Quickly. With joy. Because, guys, this is a real magazine, LOL. One I’d heard of. I was pretty stoked that this lovely woman, who’d interviewed some BIG, big names in the book world, wanted to talk to little ol’ me.

When she sent me her questions, I pretty much squealed in delight, because they hit all the topics and themes I wanted to draw out in The Collector of Burned Books.

She asked questions about why reading widely is important to critical thinking.

She asked questions about the link between freedom and freedom of ideas, freedom of thought.

She asked questions about how reading is linked to empathy.

When The Collector of Burned Books released a few weeks ago, Ms. Rose sent me the link to the article, which included several of the interview questions as well as a lovely lead-in she wrote. And she also shared that the article had been marked as an “Essential Read” in the education category, which made my day.

Because friends, it’s so important to read books that aren’t “our type of book” now and then. Not always, obviously. But sometimes. It’s important to stretch ourselves. To seek understanding. To take the opportunity that books give us to do something we can otherwise never do–live inside someone else’s head and heart for a few hundred pages.

Have you seen the article yet? If not, I hope you’ll go and check it out. It turned out beautifully!

Why You Should Exercise Your Freedom to Read

Behind the Scene Heroes

Behind the Scene Heroes

by | Jul 31, 2025 | 20th Century, Thoughtful Thursdays, World War 2

In my research for The Collector of Banned Books, I came across a fascinating story that ended up both informing and then getting largely cut from the manuscript due to space issues.

My paraphrase-from-memory of the story is as follows:

There was a university professor who was boldly outspoken about his criticisms of the Nazi party. He knew very well he’d been reported, because Gestapo officers audited several of his classes. They didn’t immediately arrest him, which he assumed was because said criticisms were too far over their heads for them to understand, LOL. Even so, he knew it was but a matter of time before he was shut down, arrested, sent off to a camp as a political enemy. He’d had many friends and acquaintances forced from their positions for similar opinions, most of whom had been either forced into outright hiding or at least forced to abandon their tenured positions at prestigious universities and resort to professorships at small, lesser known colleges in small towns.

When he was called in by the Ministry of Education, he thought the game was up. Thought this was it. Thought he’d leave the place in cuffs.

Instead, he learned that they wanted to hire him. Send him to Italy to create a new German translation of Machiavelli. He glanced down at the file they had for him, saw that it was the official Gestapo-created file…and also saw that it was virtually blank.

No notes about his inflammatory lectures.

No notes about his clear political association.

No notes about all the complaints he knew for absolute fact some of his students had filed.

He was baffled. Completely baffled. But of course, he wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass him by. He accepted the job, went to Italy, and used the time there to build contacts with other resistance fighters. Eventually, years later, he was arrested for some of the activities that came about from those connections and sent to a concentration camp. He did survive the war, though. And when interviewed years later about his activities, he was asked why the Nazi government ever sent him to Italy to begin with.

He’d given it a lot of thought over the years. Because the Gestapo was known for their files. They had everything on everybody. More dirt on people than we can rightly fathom. Their files were known to be meticulous. So why were his so inaccurate?

The only conclusion he could come to was that a sympathizer had altered his files. In fact, he had an old friend slaving away in the bureaucracy who likely would have handled his file as it was moving into Ministry of Education hands, and though he never had the chance to ask this friend, it was the only thing that had made sense.

Someone had sanitized his file. Removed anything that would have made him look bad. Made him, in fact, look so nice and shiny that the Nazis trusted him with a state-sponsored trip abroad.

This story absolutely fascinated me. It first showed me the sad reality that most university professors were facing, how they were sanctioned if they refused to teach Nazi propaganda…but also because it showed that there were unknown, unseen, unsung heroes at work within the Nazi bureaucracy. 

These people saved lives. They helped undermine a tyrannical regime. The fed the resistance. 

And we don’t know their names or their stories.

I imagined one, though. In The Collector of Burned Books, Christian is much the professor in this real life account, left to wonder how he was selected for a sensitive position in Paris and given a military rank when he knew he’d been reported for inflammatory lectures. He knew he had a record, and when the Nazis showed up at his door, he thought he was being arrested, not commissioned.

How?

He can only muse, in the version of the story you can read. But in the original manuscript, I in fact had a third point-of-view character. And soon, I’m going to bring you his story as a tie-in novella, complete with read-along instructions if you want to do a side-by-side reading of this short and The Collector of Burned Books.

Erik Reinholdt joined the police force as a young man. Once a bully himself, his life had been changed by a generous family who set out to make him a friend instead of calling him an enemy. The Bauers influenced him to want to protect and defend instead of intimidate and hurt. That’s what led him to become a police officer…and it was why, as the Nazi Party grew in power, he saw the danger.

He knew what it was to be a bully. He recognized the signs in others.

Eventually, Berlin’s police force became the Gestapo. He still hadn’t joined the Party, so he was relegated to a desk job. Eventually, he had to make a decision: either join the Nazi Party or find a new job.

So he made a decision. He made a decision to stay where he was and see if he could work against them from the inside. He did it with a bit of an attitude. A desire to show the bullies what they got for their intimidation. He took joy in undermining them. In altering files. In erasing incriminating evidence against people and replacing it with glowing recommendations.

It was his form of protest. And it had a profound impact on Christian Bauer’s life.

Of course, Reinholdt’s story is more complex that just an eraser and a grudge. He, too, found himself on a tightrope. And soon, I plan to bring you his story in The Guardian of Secret Truth. (What do you think of that title? It’s still in the works, LOL.) It’s in part a fun addition to the story of The Collector of Burned Books.

But in part, it’s a tribute to all the many people in Germany and beyond during WW2 who fought back wherever they were, however they could. Who found quiet ways to save lives. Who never told their stories, because it wasn’t about them. But whose stories we can guess out, because of the lives forever changed by their resistance.

What’s With the Banned Books Craze?

What’s With the Banned Books Craze?

by | Jul 24, 2025 | Thoughtful Thursdays

Many years ago–I think it was Christmas of 2017 if I’m remembering correctly–my best friend sent me a fun mug for Christmas. It had a bunch of book titles that were censored, and then when you put something hot it in, the black marks vanished and you could read the book titles.

Obviously, I thought this mug was super cool, and I used it enough that the regular paint started wearing off, leaving only the “censored” bits. But even as I received it joyfully, loved it, and used it…I’d also have said, had anyone asked, “I don’t really get the allure of banned books.” I mean, that image of the “revealed” titles above shows you why. The Satanic Verses? Naked Lunch? I don’t even know what that second one is, but nooooo thanks.

And yet there were others on there I love. To Kill a Mockingbird. Uncle Tom’s Cabin. And The Song of Solomon–I mean, seriously, it’s a book of the Bible! (Which, yes, I know has been banned in many places and many times.)

So it’s safe to classify me previously as “torn” when it comes to banned books (pun intended–I mean my puns, thank you very much, LOL). I’ve never been in favor of the practice of banning, but that certainly doesn’t mean that I want to rush out and read every book that’s been banned. Some of them are on my “no, thank you” list.

Then I started researching for The Collector of Burned Books. And I started really thinking about the subject. I read books about the history of book bans and book burnings–and it is a long history, my friends. As long as there have been books, there have been people destroying them to make a statement. And I’ve arrived at a very different place from where I started. That’s not to say I’m now a fan of The Satanic Verses, don’t get me wrong. There are “bad” books that I have no desire to read.

But I no longer would say “I’m not in favor of the practice of banning books.” I would now say, “I am passionately against the practice of banning books.” And I would fight for the rights of even the books I hate, the books I don’t want to read. Let’s talk about why.

What Is a Book Ban?

Maybe that sounds like a silly question, but it’s where we have to start, as became very obvious when the Secretary of the Navy ordered the removal of 381 books from the Naval Academy Library in April 2025 (there’s an update on this below). I posted about it, calling it a ban. And there were quite a few people who argued that it was not a ban, because people could still get the book elsewhere.

So let’s start with the definition, according to Merriam-Webster.

1: to prohibit especially by legal means

     ban discrimination

     Is smoking banned in all public buildings?

also : to prohibit the use, performance, or distribution of

     ban a book

So going from this definition, it’s clear that there are levels to a ban. A particular school, library, etc. can ban a book–prohiting its use or interfering with its distribution–and it still be available in other libraries, stores, etc. In Nazi Germany, we saw the absolute extreme, where having a banned book in your possession could land you in jail. In the United States, no book has ever been banned to that level. But obviously that doesn’t mean no books have ever been banned in the U.S. I hope we can all agree on that much.

I asked some librarian friends how they defined a “ban,” figuring they’re the experts on the matter, and they said this: A book ban is when an authority comes in from above and orders the removal of a book without first putting it through the usual challenge process.

Cue me being fascinated. Turns out, libraries have their own kind of “justice system,” let’s call it. If someone files a complaint about a book, saying it should be removed from the collection, the book basically goes on trial. A panel of librarians will evaluate the claim, read the book, they’ll debate whether the claim is justified or not. Maybe it just needs to be reshelved–from young adult to adult, perhaps–or maybe it really does cross lines that the library doesn’t want to cross, promoting hate, for instance, or claiming history that has been disproven. Maybe they determine that given their demographic, this book is indeed offensive and not worth keeping on their precious shelf space. In these cases, the book will be removed, and it’s not classified as a ban.

There’s also a natural culling practice, which anyone who’s gone to a library book sale knows. Books get cycled in and out all the time. Sometimes because they’re getting too worn from many reads…and sometimes it’s the opposite, and the books haven’t been checked out in a set period of time, so they’re determined to be not of interest enough to the readership. Again, shelf space is limited, choices have to be made. Libraries regularly replace history or science texts that are out of date, novels that no one’s reading anymore, you name it. Again, not a ban.

But if an authority figure–school board, library board, a government agency–comes in and tells everyone, “Remove these books,” and there’s no conversation, no “trial,” it’s not because of a set process–or even if that process is done by one small group and it goes out as “law” to all the others, whether they agree with the decision or not–then that constitutes a ban.

Who Bans Books?

Everyone. Seriously, I could end this section now. 😉 I especially find it (sadly) amusing how the same book will be banned by different sides of an argument at different periods of history.

Let’s take To Kill a Mockingbird as an example. In 1966, this book was banned from schools in Hanover County, Virginia, because the content was deemed “inappropriate.” First, because there’s mention of rape. Second, because they disapproved of the way racial issues in the south were portrayed. Showing “a flawed justice system,” for example, was said to be “harmful to young readers.” We know that the system was flawed, but they didn’t want it pointed out.

There have been many other times throughout the years that To Kill a Mockingbird was banned too, but a recent example comes from 2017, when it was removed because of the racial slurs (this is the most common complaint). I’ve also read of cases where it’s removed because it shows “a White savior” instead of giving agency to the Black characters.

What people agree on is that the difficult racial subjects are what gets it on the banned list. Harper Lee did something pretty remarkable, though, by angering both sides with her portrayal.

It does go to show, however, that book banning isn’t relegated to one set of people. Bans are demanded from both sides of any aisle.

Don’t We Have the Right to Say What Books Are in our Libraries?

And this is where we get onto shaky ground, and what the most heated of those arguing on my post about the USNA bans of April came back to–that the SecNav had every right to remove whatever he wanted from a military library.

Just like parents have every right to demand the removal of offensive books from schools.

Like stores have the right not to carry something.

Like libraries have the right not to stock a title or get rid of it.

And this is both true…and limited.

First, let’s admit the truth: no one can carry every book. No library, no bookstore. There are simply too many. Choices are constantly made, first about what to acquire and then about what to keep. This is reality, and it’s universal. These institutions have to make decisions, and like any decision, sometimes they also change their minds. This is within their purview.

Similarly, no one’s telling you, as an adult, what you have to read or can’t read. We do not have government-level Verboten texts that will get you arrested…though your choices could certainly be presented as evidence against you, in some cases. 😉 You always, always have the right to say, “No, I’m not going to read that” or “No, I don’t want this in my house.”

The difficulty comes in when you try to sell someone else that they can’t read something or have it in their collection, so when we move to removing things from libraries or schools… Yeah. It gets tricky.

Let me also say I 100% agree that we need to guard what our kids read. I readily admit that I “censored” Genesis when I read it to my primary schoolers, because I just didn’t want to have to explain quite yet what incest was and why Lot’s daughters shouldn’t have gotten their dad drunk and seduced him. Just…nope. Not a conversation I wanted to have with 7-year-olds. But it is a conversation I was ready to have with 12-year-olds, as we talked about what God-given sexuality is and how we should understand it and respect it and treat it as holy. Similarly, I don’t want agendas (of any kind) pushed down my kids’ throats. I didn’t want the liberal agenda, but I also didn’t want the conservative one presented as fact, even though I am conservative–especially in subjects like science. What I wanted was for my kids to learn how to think, to ask questions, and to thoughtfully consider subjects, rather than just being told the “right” stance to take.

So when we do encounter questionable content? We talk about it. We use it as a springboard for discussing the history of things, the purpose, what the author was trying to do, what we think about it. We have our own stances and opinions, and there are certainly times we decide we don’t want to read more of something. That’s our right.

What is not our right is to say other people can’t. We can certainly explain why we don’t recommend it. And we can absolutely recommend something we think handles a subject better. But that is very, very different from saying, “This book does not belong in our public or school libraries.”

Because here’s the thing. Even when it’s a stance I absolutely disagree with, I never, never have the right to say my way is the only way. Not in a country founded on freedom. Freedom that is not extended to the opposite point of view is no freedom at all. So yeah, I can argue that things are inappropriate for certain age groups, and I can certainly make my case for why something else is better…but that doesn’t mean that book should be removed entirely from a place, should be banned, should be labeled as garbage. By all means, recommend parental permission. And then you know what I think we should do?

What SHOULD We Do about Good Books with Questionable Content?

Talk about it. Those N-words in Huck Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird? The F-bomb in Catcher in the Rye? Yeah, they make us uncomfortable. They’re supposed to. Talk about it. Talk about why. Talk about how common it used to be (in the first example), and how far we’ve come. When I read something aloud to my kids and didn’t want to actually say the word in question (because I’m absolutely a stickler who won’t say any curse words out loud, ever, LOL), we first discussed the word used, and I showed it to them, and I explained why it’s not a word I want to say but why it was included. It became a lesson.

The non-binary character in the Rick Riordan book? Talk about it. The two dads in Renegade by Marisa Meyer? Talk about it. The way Christians are portrayed in The Handmaid’s Tale? Talk about it.

Because these are important conversations to have, and books present us with a safe place to have those conversations. Instead of getting angry with the books for what they include or a perspective they show, think about why you react as you do. Contemplate the author’s purpose, and whether you agree or don’t and why, and then have a conversation.

You know what will happen? Your kids will start thinking about things. They’ll develop their own lines and guidelines and won’t feel the need to rebel against yours. And as adults? We’ll be able to learn from things, whether we agree with them or not. We’ll begin seeing people who are different from us as people, people worthy of love and respect, and we’ll better know how to pray for them.

Don’t ban the book. Talk about it.

Bans Backfire

And we can’t ignore this very…key…point. Bans do not work–ever. They backfire. And the reason is simple.

Humans are rebels. We love to do what we’ve been forbidden to do. We buck against authority. And even if we’re not rebellious, we’re still curious. The minute I hear a book has been banned, you know my first thought, if I’m not already familiar with it? “Huh, I wonder why? I should read it and find out.”

When we make something forbidden, we make it alluring.

So if you really think a book is harmful? Ignore it. Let it die a natural death. Recommend something that addresses the same needs but better. Instead of taking away, add. Give the positive example.

When that list of 381 books removed from the USNA came out, I pored over it. I readily admit that few sounded “good” to me. Sure, I immediately ordered I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and The Hate U Give (both on the list), but that left 379 that I didn’t rush out to buy, though I intend to grab a few more as budget permits. But as my daughter (almost 20 at this point) and I were talking about the books on the list, I said something like this: “I admit that the books on transgender subjects don’t interest me, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be accessible. Honestly, I just don’t understand the issue that well, so I don’t feel equipped to discuss it. So…maybe I should read a few books on it after all. How else am I ever going to understand?”

And until I understand, how can I explain my own stance on the subject? Until I understand, what hope do I ever have of talking about it in a convincing way? Until I undertand, how do I know how to pray for the people who are dealing with these issues?

A Quick Update on the USNA Ban

In late May, the USNA bans were quietly adjusted. Most of the books removed were returned, after the department took a more careful look at the list, the keywords that had been used to do the initial search, and the actual subject matter and how said subjects were dealt with. The final removal list was only in the 20s.

On the one hand, that’s a victory. Because as I said at the time, these university students ought to be trusted to deal with any subject, and having those ~360 books returned is a big step in the right direction.

But that still leaves more than 20 books removed–something unprecedented in military academy history. Each administration absolutely has the right to alter curriculum and they routinely provide a “recommended reading list” large enough to pretty much guarantee no one has time for the not recommended books until they’re upperclassmen. But never before have they removed books that a military library had deemed relevant enough to purchase and add to a collection. The fact that the number is smaller now does not negate that point.

What are they afraid of? What is so powerful about those books that they are deemed “dangerous”? And if they are…? Then maybe we NEED to be talking about them, evaluating them, and discussing why and how they’re dangerous–because they clearly represent part of our society. Ignoring it, labeling it, and banning it does not solve it, if we deem it a problem. All it does is give us permission to silence the voices. And friends, silencing voices does not end well.

In Conclusion: What’s With the Banned Book Craze?

Simply this: every single book ban is an attempt to curtail freedom of thought, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press. Every…single…one. You do not have to like a book. You do not have to read it. You have every right to not put it on your own shelves.

But when you try to keep it out of other people’s hands, then you are saying, “You do not deserve the freedom I want.” And that is dangerous. Not to mention that when the power shifts–because it will–what will then keep them from removing your books? If you ban books that promote transgender issues or LGBTQ+ issues, for instance, then what happens when, in a few years, a new administration wants to ban anything Christians, because Christians, they might argue, promote hate for those people groups, as evidenced by the previous bans?

If I want freedom, I have to champion it for EVERYONE. The books I love AND the books I hate.

Because while we each have the right to make our own decisions, we do NOT have the right to make anyone else’s. You want to convince people that your way is best?

Then prove it. Prove it through love and thoughtful conversations. Prove it through defending people whether you approve of their every choice or not. Prove it by treating each person with the dignity that comes of being made in God’s image. Prove it by standing up for their right to read whatever they want, even when you find it “disgusting” or “hateful.”

I stand with the banned. Not because I love each banned book, but because I love the freedom to write, publish, read, buy, and check out whatever I want. Because I can learn from those books, whether I agree with them or not. And because we need to read the things that offend us…otherwise, we’re bound to keep repeating mistakes, falling into hatred and division, and abusing power.

What’s with the banned book craze?

A lot. You should check it out. There’s so much to learn in those pages.

The Danger of Dehumanizing

The Danger of Dehumanizing

by | Jul 10, 2025 | Thoughtful Thursdays

In the coming weeks, I’m going to be talking a lot about the themes in The Collector of Burned Books. That’s gonna cover the obvious (book bans and burnings), but we’re going to go deeper than just that. And I wanted to start today with a question I received in a blog interview I answered a couple weeks ago, and which came up again in a video podcast interview I recorded with Tricia Goyer. A question that, in fact, is what led to this book being published by Tyndale House after I was with Bethany House for a decade.

Why did you humanize Nazis?

“We just can’t have a hero in Nazi uniform. It would be best if he isn’t German at all. Can he be French?” That’s what the team at BHP said, and I absolutely understood their stance. We don’t ever, ever want to justify or condone what the Nazi Party did in Europe in the 1930s and 40s. From their stance, it didn’t matter that my hero wasn’t really a Nazi. Didn’t matter that he’d been calling them his enemy long before the rest of the world knew to fear them. All that mattered was that he was in uniform.

It’s a dangerous line. A risky line. I get that.

But it was also 100% necessary to the story, so I refused to budge.

But you know what? It’s more than that. I didn’t just humanize (some) Nazis (and have others be complete villains) because I needed someone inside the library that was Nazi-controlled, though that was the plot reason. I humanized Nazis for one very simple reason: because they were humans. And if we ever forget that, we run a horrible, horrible risk of repeating their mistakes.

In The Collector of Burned Books, I point out first a sad truth. For many people in Germany during that era, if you didn’t join the Party, you risked losing your job, your security, or being outright arrested. My hero, Christian, eventually joined to try to protect someone he loved. It backfired–as it so often did. And he wasn’t silent about it. He spoke out, condemning the Party line on certain subjects…and he was reported to the Gestapo. He’s still not sure why he wasn’t arrested, why he was sent to Paris as the “library protector”…but he suspects it’s because he has an old friend much like him. A friend who had joined the police force before the Nazis came to power, who wanted to protect and serve. But the police became the Gestapo. Because this friend dragged his feet about joining the Party as well, he was relegated to a desk job in the filing department…where he fought back quietly by altering files. Christian’s, to start. But not just his. Whenever he could get away with it, he erased condemning information from the files that passed his desk, so he could continue to protect and serve the people of his city.

People really did this, guys. I’ll tell you one of the historical stories later in the month.

But these people are examples of a lot of people in Germany who were technically members of the Party. They were people who never really believed in it. Who wanted to keep fighting. And who chose to fight from the dubious safety within that Party.

Those, though, are the easy cases. There are more, and they’re represented in this book too. For instance, we have Kraus. He’s nineteen, and he enlisted for his slice of glory…only to be assigned as aid to a librarian. Boring, he thinks. He grew up in the Hitler Youth. He was indoctrinated from a young age into the Nazi ideals.

He’s never been taught otherwise. Never taught to think for himself. Never taught to question and learn and see the other as something deserving of freedom. Does that mean he’s beyond redemption? Not human? Does that mean he can’t learn, can’t come to realize that his “enemies”–people of different races, creeds, or politics–are people too, people who deserve life and freedom and respect?

There were many in Germany living in constant fear, who had to go along or they’d be sent to a concentration camp. There were many who couldn’t fathom that horrors were being committed, because they were unfathomable. Impossible. Couldn’t possibly be. There were plenty more who were bitter and defeated and desperate for a chance to reclaim what Germany had once been. Have you ever read the terms of surrender from the Great War? The German people were stripped of so much. Of course they were bitter. Of course they felt oppressed. Of course they wanted to restore Germany to its former glory. Who wouldn’t? They were people. They were humans. They were a lot like you and me.

But there were the monsters too. The true believers. The people who not only couldn’t believe atrocities were happening or were trying to quietly fight them, people who not only had been educated into the Nazi mindset, but who craved it. Who helped form it. Who were the first to sign up for it. Who really, truly thought this was the way Germany would claim the future it deserved. Who really believed they needed to purify their society (that’s what they called it) and get rid of anything “disgusting.” It included Jews, yes, and other races that were “degenerate,” like Slavs, Romani, and Blacks. It also included homosexuals. People born with deformities. Those with mental illness.

Like you, I look at people who euthanized–MURDERED–children or handicapped or those with illnesses beyond their control, and I am HORRIFIED. My first, gut reaction is to call them what we probably all think they are. “Monsters!”

And by the definition we have in mind, they were. There were people who had embraced evil. Who were letting it cavort through their streets, their schools, their homes, and certainly their government agencies.

But friends, here’s the thing. They were not demons. They, themselves, were not evil. They were people. Human. People who embraced evil, thinking it was good. They were monsters who were also men. They weren’t born without souls. They weren’t something Other, something Else, something we could never be.

They were just…like…us.

And that is why I will humanize Nazis. That is why I will write a book with many examples of Germans, some “good” and heroic, some “bad” and villainous. Because WE, you and I, are the same. We have the potential to be heroes or villains. Good or bad.  And we need to be careful, friends. Always, in every generation, every country, every church, every political party. We need to be careful that our pursuit of what we think is best doesn’t lead us into drawing lines that dehumanize.

Because when we say someone is no longer human, that they’re just a monster…that means it doesn’t matter what we do to them. It doesn’t matter if they live or die. That they are beyond redemption. That God does not love them.

Whose lie does that sound like?

The Nazis used that very tactic, and it’s what we hate them for. So…how can we do the same to them and not fall into the same trap?

So yes. I have Nazis in my book. Some are villains…and one is my hero. Many others are somewhere in between. True believers but who will still protect someone they like. Indoctrinated youths who can still learn there’s another way. All of them, even the nasty ones, are people. They are humans.

And I will show that. Because the moment we stop seeing them that way is the moment we become more like them than any of us want to be.

Theology in Fantasy

Theology in Fantasy

by | Jul 3, 2025 | Fantasy, Thoughtful Thursdays

 How to Pick Your Fantasy World

When I decided to write a fantasy, the first thing to decide was this: Do I set it in a purely fictional world, or one based on our own?

Most go the “completely fictional” route. And I can appreciate that, absolutely. I can appreciate that then, all the theology is allegorical or else assuming that God will have made a way of salvation for these other worlds and people too, and would make himself known to them.

I love that method and will likely use it for some future books. But it just wasn’t how Awakened came to me. The entire premise began for me as a “What if…?” in our world. What if Christ delayed in returning, what if the world suffered through a Great Cataclysm, what if God sent gifts to help mankind claw its way out of a new dark age?

I knew as I created this world, with its Christianity still intact (but in which language had changed here and there), that there would be those who loved it and those who hated it. I did it anyway because that was how the story unfolded for me, and while I will absolutely change most things about a story in edits to make it better, there are always key, core things that I do not change from the way they came to me, not unless God makes it very clear to me that I should.

But I’ve received some feedback from some concerned readers about some of the things in this story, so I wanted to take a moment to address them…without giving anything away. 😉

Theology in the World of the Awakened

Blood Ceremonies

First of all, there is a blood ceremony that’s critical to the society, how the “magic” (which is a combination of “ancient” nanotechnology and gift from God) is Awakened. One reader pointed out in dismay that the Bible forbids blood ceremonies, so why would I choose to do that?

My response is that we should always ask why God forbids something. In the case of blood, He makes it clear: Life is in the blood. That’s why the Israelites were strictly told not to consume blood…and it’s also why it was such a key part of Israelite sacrifice, where blood was sprinkled on the altar and out over the people as well. Blood was in fact KEY to ceremonies, but it had to be done in proper form by the correct people in order to not be an abomination. It was to be treated with respect and dignity, and when NOT treated in that proper way, it would make one unclean.

From my childhood and teen days onward, I have been drawn in my thoughts over and again to the power of Christ’s BLOOD. A Stray Drop of Blood, my debut novel set around the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, explores this when a drop of His blood lands on my heroine and changes her forever.

Blood is powerful. So powerful that Jesus, in John 6, shakes his listeners’ minds and hearts when He tells them they MUST do what was strictly forbidden to them–they must DRINK HIS BLOOD and EAT HIS FLESH. This was earth-rocking, friends. This was in direct contradiction to the Law. Or rather…to their understanding of it. As followers of Christ, we know that as the perfect, eternal sacrifice, He fulfilled that Law and was that lamb, slain for us all. And His blood? I fully believe in transubstantiation–it’s what drew me to the Catholic church. I do not believe communion is symbolic, because Christ was very, very clear in His way of speaking of it. He did something miraculous, and He offered His blood as salvation to us all.

This is why I chose to use blood as the means by which “magic”–remember, gift directly from God in my world–is brought forth. It’s this God-given power that became a physical salvation for people in the days following this cataclysm, and that’s meant to be symbolic of eternal salvation as well…which comes from His blood. “Blood ceremonies” are only forbidden when they are in opposition to God’s will and use for blood. They were in fact ALWAYS a key part of Israelite tradition in the days of the tabernacle and temple, and are also the key part of Christian tradition as well, through communion. 

Next, angels.

Angelic Beings

Without spoiling things, let’s just say that in the world of the Awakened, it is posited that the method by which God gave His gift of “magic” to humanity involved a few select angels taking on human flesh, marrying humans, and creating offspring.

Now. Yes. I know that Genesis 6 says this is an abomination. Sort of.

Here are the verses in question:

When people began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, 2 the sons of God saw that they were fair; and they took wives for themselves of all that they chose. 3 Then the Lord said, ‘My spirit shall not abide in mortals for ever, for they are flesh; their days shall be one hundred and twenty years.’ 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterwards—when the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. These were the heroes that were of old, warriors of renown.

So, first…most Church Fathers did not read this as talking about angels. The traditional view is, in fact, that angels are beings of pure spirit and could not procreate with men, as they are of completely different substance. The traditional reading of these verses is that “sons of God” referred to the righteous offspring of Seth and “daughters of humans” were the offspring of wicked Cain. If this is the proper reading, then the problem is not mixing with angels but mixing with the unrighteous people who had turned their backs on God.

I find this 100% reasonable. In the real world, I think that’s likely a sound interpretation, even if it wasn’t my own original reading. The plain text can definitely be read as “angels,” though I absolutely get why many/most theologians decided it wasn’t the only or perhaps best way to read it.

But.

But. Then we have the Book of Enoch.

Let’s be clear. The Book of Enoch is not Scripture. BUT…Paul did refer to it in the book of Jude in a way that hints that he considered it a relevant prophecy. And taking Enoch into account would change everything about how Genesis 6 is read.

If you’re not familiar with this ancient text, it was known of but lost to history until the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered and a copy was found in them. It provides more information about those early days leading up to Noah, written by Enoch, Noah’s great-grandfather and known to us as the man who “walked with God and then was no more,” implying that God caught him up into heaven without him first tasting death.

In Enoch, chapters 6-9, we get an expanded story of these “sons of God” and “daughters of men.” In this version, it states explicitly that they were angels, and that there were 200 hundred of them who decided to do this evil thing and swore an oath together, so that only one wouldn’t take the blame. They chose human women, took them as wives, and sired children.

But that’s not the only thing they did. They also taught these humans things they weren’t supposed to, and the list is as follows:

  • charms
  • enchantments
  • the cutting of roots
  • familiarity with plants
  • how to make swords, knives, shields, and armor
  • metallurgy, including how to use antimony (which hardens other metals)
  • cosmetics
  • gemology
  • dyes and paints
  • astronomy and astrology
  • meteorology
  • understanding the signs of the earth
  • understanding the signs of the sun
  • understanding the course of the moon

Take a look at that list. While it includes things like charms and enchantments that we identify with witchcraft, it also includes things that are the foundational elements of what we call “culture.” The basics of art, of medicine, of all fields of science, of technology.

Were these things the sins? Is it an affront to God every time we look at storm clouds gathering and say, “Huh, looks like rain”? When we calculate when the moon will be full or new? When we chop our root vegetables with knives? Or take a cutting from one plant to grow another? Wear jewelry? Dye fabric?

Obviously not. If God simply hated these things and didn’t want mankind to have them at all, He certainly wouldn’t have sent His Spirit to fill the craftsmen creating the Ark of the Covenant and tabernacle with knowledge and skill of these very things, and the ability to teach it. So what was the sin here? What qualifies as the abomination?

I posit that it was disobedience that was the true crime. That these creatures acted without permission, without instruction. They chose their will above His will.

God, being God, could have stopped them, just as He could (but does not usually choose to) stop humans in our sins. He chose, instead, to let them give their gifts to humankind, even if it was out of turn. And when He soon after sent the flood, that flood did not wipe out the knowledge these angels brought with them. Did it wipe out their bloodline? We can assume that it did, but we can’t actually know, because it doesn’t ever tell us. For all we know, a bit of it could have been preserved in one of Noah’s daughters-in-law, and that could have been allowed for a purpose of God’s that He didn’t make explicit to us. This is 100% pure speculation, and again, based on a text that isn’t Scriptural…but which is the only text that makes explicit what “Nephilim” (the race of people descended from these angels-and-humans) are. Again, the traditional reading of Genesis was that “sons of God” were not angels, and that “Nephilim” should not be interpreted as “human-angel-hybrid” but rather its other definitions of “tyrant” or “powerful person.”

Reasonable…but not as interesting, right? 😉 I know when I read those verses as a young woman, my mind went immediately to the more supernatural reading, and for the sake of a fantasy novel, I found that more fascinating to explore.

So if the angelic reading is what Genesis 6 means (and again, I’m NOT saying it is, it’s just a fun “what if” to play with), then who’s to say God wouldn’t, at some point in time, will this thing He didn’t will then? That He wouldn’t have instructed angels to come and give of their blood to mankind? And if your answer is “God doesn’t change His mind,” that’s a blatant lie–or at least, it is from our perspective.

God sent a plague to wipe out the children of Israel who were taking wives from among the pagans as they wandered in the wilderness.

God also instructed someone to marry Rahab, a pagan prostitute, and she’s in the lineage of Christ. And this happened very soon after that above-mentioned plague. As in, the plague cleansed the camp of the unfaithful right before they began their final march to the Promised Land, which led them to Jericho. (The “But…!” will be explored momentarily.)

God told the Israelites not to eat unclean food.

God also told Peter that He’d made all foods clean now.

God abhors dishonesty and lies.

God sent a lying spirit to the prophets of Ahab in 1 Kings 22, to convince him to do something.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. God’s Word is not stagnant, it is living. I nearly wrote “it adapts to different circumstances,” but that’s not quite right, is it? Circumstances are subject to it. HE IS the Word. HE IS the Law. HE IS the definition of right and wrong. So while we might occasionally not understand why something is blessed in one circumstance and not in another, we can trust that it makes sense from His heavenly perspective and assume it is not, in fact, a contradiction…but we cannot deny that He gives these seemingly-contradictory instructions.

The Rahab example makes that clear, doesn’t it? Those other pagan women, they were bringing their idols into the Israelite camp with them, they hadn’t forsaken their gods. Rahab, however, did. She chose obedience to God above her own people. And so, she received the gift of being grafted into the family of God.

So if (again, yes, big IF) God were to decide to send angels to earth for this purpose, in order to bestow something new on humanity, this is neither God changing nor a sin. This is God saying, “NOW is the time I intended it. Not before, not after. NOW. Who will obey?” Much like God chose to call clean what He’d previously called unclean.

Why Did I Choose to Write the Story This Way?

In part, because of trends in the general market romantasy space. Now, hear me out.

In some very, very popular books, we see all sorts of magical and supernatural creatures, including angels. Including, even, the specific types of angels mentioned in the Bible. But in these stories, these characters are as fallible as humans, as given to lusts, as perverse, as self-serving. They are power-hungry and sinful.

Friends, this is the image the world is consuming about what a seraph or cherub or other angel is.

And it’s a striking resemblance to what the versions talked about in Enoch are. But we know their true name. They are fallen angels. They are demons. They are creatures of awe-inspiring power who chose their own will above God’s will.

But they were the minority. And there are other creatures of the same substance who chose instead to align their will perfectly to God’s. These are the angels who remained in heaven. Who are God’s messengers to us on earth. Who fight for us, alongside us, who go to war with the fallen.

I wanted to show this. That where, if Enoch is true, some angels in the beginning days did this thing in a way that was an abomination, it would look very, very different if God were the architect of the unions. If God were the direct Giver of the gifts. That what could be a curse upon us, when stolen, can be a blessing when given rightly.

Because this, my friends, is how God has shown himself to work time after time, year after year, epoch after epoch. When we take against His instruction, as Adam and Eve did in the Garden, we receive a Curse. But did He never give knowledge of good and evil? Is that not in fact discernment, one of the Gifts of the Spirit? Did He not give it to Daniel? Even to Solomon (who then misused it)?

In my Awakened world, my prayer was that through the words of these angelic characters, we can in fact get a glimpse of what true submission to His divine will looks like.

It looks like sacrifice.
It looks like selflessness.
It looks like love.
It looks like purpose.

Now, if you still have a problem with the theology in these fantasy novels…that’s fine. 😉 I do invite you to remember that this is not just FICTION, but FANTASY. I’m assuming things that it is utterly ridiculous to assume. Things that seem contradictory to some ways of reading Scripture (but which are not necessarily, when you dig deeper into passages that are incredibly mysterious and look at reasons, not just instructions). I hope I’ve at least explained why I started from these perspectives, and of course I hope that you can enjoy the story as pure fiction. But if you can’t, I understand that too. Skip the series. That’s okay.

Thank You, Readers!

And thank you, my lovely readers, for always being willing to reach out to me when I present in my fiction something that gives you pause. I’m certainly not infallible, and chances are I’ve unintentionally messed up fine points of theology before and will do so again. I appreciate your care for me and for my understanding and your willingness to engage rather than judge. In this particular case, I hope my explanation proves that I was not dismissing Scripture, but rather digging to the “why” of very mystical texts in ways that I am not saying are really true, but which make for a fun story. Is it speculative? Fantastical? Yep. By its very definition. But I do not believe these interpretations are heretical. Simply…implausible. 😉

Now just wait until I tell you how I once read Revelation as science fiction and imagined the New Jerusalem that was descending as a spaceship… 😉

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