by Roseanna White | Aug 7, 2014 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
I’ve come across it in several places lately. Usually from women. Women who are tired, stressed-out, spread thin, and either at or “recovered from” their breaking points. Women who give and give and give. And who have reached the point where they’re now saying, “Tend yourself first. Give yourself time. Then you’ll be happier and better able to deal with your family. Take time for you.”
Women who say their outlooks were ruined by that old
Joy teaching–Jesus, Others, You. That it messed them up. Made them miserable. That it’s too cliche, and that it instilled in them this thought that it’s wrong to take care of themselves.
I’ve seen retreats for women all about taking that time for yourself and then emerging better able to tend those around you.
And it all sounds awesome–because yeah, I need “me” time. I need refreshing. I need renewing. I need time now and then away from the constant harangue of “MOMMY!” to focus on the Lord. Still, something about all this bothered me, even as I recognized the value. And I wasn’t sure what it was. Then, as I edited WhiteFire’s next title to come out next week, No Plan B: Discovering God’s Blueprint for Your Life by Nelson Hannah, I started to put my finger on it. It combined in my mind with a sermon my dad recently preached at our church, and with the way my thoughts carried it out.
Everyone needs time of refreshing–I’m not taking issue with that, so please don’t think I am. What I’m taking issue with is the attitude that serving others first is self-destructive. That if we do it, we’ll be drained. We’ll need that time of refreshing, because it takes it out of us. Yes, it does…
…but it shouldn’t. Here’s why.
We are not our own. We are God’s. BUT–we’re not slaves. We’re not forced to do what he tells us. We’re not forced to serve others. And if we think we are…well, that’s a problem with our outlook, not with the practice.
In Biblical days, there were two kinds of “slaves.” (1) Slaves–captured or bought and not free to leave, ever. Their children are born slaves. Their children after them. Forever and ever amen. They must do what they’re told or else. (2) Bondservants–willingly indentured to someone as a means of paying a debt, but offered their freedom after seven years. Bondservants, when released, were given gifts to assure them the chance to thrive in the world. They took out all they brought in (wives, children). And if they chose to stay out of love for their master, then they were bound by their own will forever to their master’s house, giving up that will for their master’s.
We are not slaves to God. We are bondservants, through Christ. Do you see the difference in what that means? God doesn’t force us to come to him and do his will. But we, if we are Christians, choose it. We choose to forfeit–as in, give up, completely abandon, not just sign over for a certain day or decision–our will to his. We choose to give our whole lives to him. We choose his honor above our own.
We don’t do what he instructs us because he said so and that’s that–we do it because we love him. Not because we must, but because we desire to please him above all things. He is our Master…but because he loves us, he doesn’t keep us in that position of servitude forever. He names us heirs. We still serve, yes, just as the disciples did, as Jesus himself did–but we don’t serve as slaves. As bonservants, we have been given an inheritance (this happened frequently in Old Testament days especially–when no heir by blood was found, the most trusted servant would inherit).
We are not slaves. We are not slaves. We are not slaves. We do not have to serve others. But if we think we do…if we think it’s compulsory…if we think God’s standing there with a taskmaster’s whip pointed at us, saying, “Go feed the hungry–now. Go make dinner for your kids–now. Go serve on all those committees at church–now.” Well then, obviously we’re going to get worn down. Worn out. Frayed. More, we’re going to get resentful, because who likes to be treated like that? There’s a reason slaves have revolted throughout history.
And there’s a reason bondservants haven’t. Because they chose their path. And they kept to it out of love.
I love my Master, my Abba God. I want to please him. I want to listen to his voice above the whining of my own mind, above the limitations of my body. I want to put aside my fickle, foolish will and rely on his instead. I want to let go of the idea that I can do whatever I want and instead do what he tells me–he’s so much wiser than I am! And I want the assurance that it doesn’t matter if I’m weak…if I’m tired…if I’m burned out…if I don’t have enough time…if I just can’t.
I don’t have to. That’s the other brilliant epiphany of No Plan B. Even Jesus didn’t do what he did under his own power. Not his human power, and not his power as God. If he had, it would mean nothing to us. Because our human bodies are limited, and we can never be God. If Jesus had acted from that, we couldn’t be like him. But his every miracle was done through the Holy Spirit–whom he has imparted to us.
When I’m too tired to soothe one more tear, all I have to do is let the Spirit minister through me…and let me tell you from experience, when you do that, he ministers to you as well. When I’m at my wit’s end, I don’t need to rely anymore on my own mind–all I have to do is rely on his wisdom.
I chose to give my life, my heart, my will, my path, my every day, to the Lord. I chose to sign over my body, soul, and spirit to him. That means it’s not just me inside me anymore. It’s the Holy Spirit. He fills me. And if I just let him, he’ll act through me. Speak through me. Fill me.
Fill me.
How can I say I’m worn out, if I’m operating under his strength? How can I say I feel drained, if I have the Lord of Hosts inside me? How can I say I can’t, that I’m not, when I’m the daughter of I AM?
Yes, we need those times of renewal to focus on Him. He wants that for us, he gives that to us…as a gift. But no, we shouldn’t ever “put ourselves first.” Because we willingly gave that up when we accepted the Lord as our Lord. And frankly, it’s thinking we should or can that makes us so unhappy. So when I’m feeling tired, weak, worn out, and discouraged, I’m not going to think I need… Instead, I’m going to crawl up into the lap of my Abba and let him take care of it. I don’t need to go away. I don’t need to focus on me.
I need to focus on him.
by Roseanna White | Aug 6, 2014 | Uncategorized
I figured we were due for a cover design post. =) And since I’ve working on one of those this week, now seemed a fine time.
This time around, I’m working on a cover for the second book by one of WhiteFire’s authors, Cara Luecht. This book is set to come out early 2015; we’re in the editing process now, and since we like to have covers well in advance, we got to work on that side of things too. Cara knew what she was looking for in this cover, which always makes my job easier. She wanted a heroine in profile, at the top of the page, with her head only partially visible. She wanted her holding something. She wanted the title in the center of the page, and a scene that ties in with the book below.
So. I started by looking for good images of her heroine, Brianna. Brianna lives in Sweden in 1885; she has blond hair, which would have been worn up, and she would obviously be decked out in the fashions of the day. The story follows some of the first Baptists in Sweden from their home, where they were persecuted, to America. Based on the author’s family history, Gathered Waters isn’t just about religious freedom, though–it’s about a woman’s journey to finding who she is, what she’s called to do, in a world that would keep her in a narrow definition. Brianna has to find the strength and faith within her own heart to undergo this journey.
When looking for a good picture of a historical heroine–as in, one with her hair up–I’ve discovered that it’s often handy to look up photos of brides. That’s where I began. I searched for “blond bride profile,” and I found our Brianna.
I loved the hairstyle, I liked the way she was standing, and she was holding flowers, which would work well for me…sort of. Rather than carrying a bouquet, I wanted her to be holding a single tulip. But this lovely young lady got me started.
The next step was to flip her around and delete everything I didn’t need.
Obviously, deleting her dress leaves her with a floating arm, but that’s okay. I knew I was going to put some historical garb on her. I found some great, free images of 1880 clothing in profile. This is the one we decided on.
Putting the two together was a pretty simple matter of cut and paste…except for that arm.
Pretty funny, right? I know it gave me a giggle to have the arm sprouting from her stomach–but I knew the waist down would be faded out, so I could copy and paste the sleeve into the right place. First though, I had to deal with the color. While I really like the original color of the dress, the title wouldn’t show up well against it, so I wanted it to be white.
I’ve tried a lot of different ways of altering color, but for this one, since I was going white but wanted to preserve the shadows, the way to do it was to go up to Image / Adjustment / Levels.
Now that I had the dress the color I wanted, I worked on the sleeve. I basically just copied that portion of the image, pasted it, rotated it, and deleted the parts I didn’t want. Because the sleeve is large and stiff at the wrist, it covered the arm beautifully, with no need to convince it. And because the image would be faded out, you can’t see where the elbow folds would have been.
In the image above, I’ve also already added another touch I wanted–the color in the collar and buttons. To get that, I just pasted the original dress image overtop and deleted everything but collar and buttons, which were gold to begin with. I like the contrast this achieved.
I also already adjusted her hand a bit–because she was holding a large bouquet, her fingers were spread. To make her hold a single tulip, her fingers needed to be curled tight. So I just deleted the extra length of finger, careful to “trim” it around the knuckles.
So next comes the tulip. I found a picture of white tulips for free.
I copied a flower. I copied a leaf. I used the Warp feature to bend it a bit. Put it in her hand. And voila.
So there’s the top of the book. Now for the bottom. I was thrilled to find this gorgeous picture of a Swedish stream in winter. The water, the snow, the daybreak all play critical roles in the story, and the lighting here was just breathtaking. I am, as I’ve no doubt said before, a sucker for good lighting.
Isn’t it lovely?? Now, if I were to just plop it down, it would look like this.
Of course, I faded the bottom layer too:
We’re getting there! But I didn’t want a white background behind Brianna. So I instead made it a soft yellow and then added some lighting effects.
Muuuuuch better, right? I like how the colors play off each other now, and it’s starting to feel more harmonious. But I don’t just want a smooth texture like that. Upon giving it some thought, I decided a frost or snowflake texture would be cool. At first I think blue would be nice. So I decide on this.
I try putting it over my cover, fading the opacity to 40%.
Which, um, no. Isn’t what I’m going for. I don’t like how the cyan blue works with the golds. BUT–I’ve learned that you can adjust layers in many different ways. Rather than keep this one “normal,” I choose “divide” in the tab on my toolbar, and suddenly I have exactly what I’m looking for.
Isn’t that texture nice?! I love it. So now for the words. I opt for the simple elegance of SnellRoundhand Script for my font. I decide to make the two beginning letters larger than the rest and line them up. Tossing in a simple divider and Cara’s name, I get this.
I really like this…mostly. But I’d rather, if the G and W are going to cross, that they actually join. I love the harmony of it when letters join up on a cover. So I rasterize those layers so that I can alter the font and create a loop. Like so.
Isn’t that cool? =) So then I just put it onto the cover, and there we have it! The final!
by Roseanna White | Aug 5, 2014 | Remember When Wednesdays, Uncategorized
I was so, so touched last week by the huge number of you guys who contacted me about helping out with A Soft Breath of Wind. I ended up with more beta readers than I could have dreamed, and exactly the number of influencers I was hoping for. Thank you, so, so much!
And so I thought I’d put out another call–this one isn’t so much work. 😉 Next week, from Thursday August 14 through Sunday August 17,
A Stray Drop of Blood will be on sale on Kindle for
A Stray Drop of Blood will be on sale on Kindle for
A Stray Drop of Blood will be on sale on Kindle for $0.99.99.99. This marks the second occasion when it’s been on sale in all its long life, and I need some help spreading the word.
Now, as fate would have it, the sale begins on my birthday. I didn’t plan it that way–I turned in a list of titles we’d be running sales on, and the ad coordinator assigned the dates. But that’s what we call a happy accident. =) And I can think of no better gift for turning 32 than
A Stray Drop of Blood having a weekend of superb sales!
If you’d be willing to help me spread the word next week, I would be eternally grateful. I’ll be posting Tweets you can copy right in or retweet from my feed, and also Facebook posts. I’ll have graphics and memes and photos you can post (like the one above). I’ll create a variety so that those who want to participate can post a couple times during the sale without it being the same thing over and over again.
If you want to help, you can do two things: check back here next Wednesday for tweetables and graphics, and/or ask for an email reminder. I know I have a hard time remembering when to post this sort of thing unless I get a reminder! So if you would like to be added to my list of folks to email the graphics and posts to, just shoot me a note at roseanna at roseannawhite dot com –if that address doesn’t work for some reason, try roseannamwhite at gmail dot com.
Thanks so much for all your support, everyone!!
by Roseanna White | Aug 4, 2014 | Word of the Week
Hi is one of those greetings that feels new to me, and which I usually avoid entirely in my historicals…though I’ve seen it in a few others. And so, I look it up.
It isn’t quite as new as I’d thought–as a greeting like it’s used today, hi is from 1862 (though let it be noted it’s American English from then, not British). The first recorded reference is from the speech of a Kansas Indian.
It traces its roots further back, though. As a shout to gain attention (so not just a substitute for hello or good day), it’s from the 15th century, as a variation of hey.
On another note, today is the last day to enter the giveaway on the Harvest House blog to win Circle of Spies! Hop over to read my guest post about the Culper Ring and enter to win! Click Here
Cylist photo credit: -Jeffrey- via photopin
by Roseanna White | Jul 31, 2014 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized
One of the lessons I heard taught in one of the first writing classes I took at my very first conference touched on bad guys–and how a writer’s job is to look inside them and find a redeeming quality to make them three-dimensional.
Good advice. Except sometimes, in a book, I get pretty sick of bad guys with redeeming qualities that come off as excuses. He was abused, he thinks this will get him love, he’s motivated by the death of his true love, yada yada yada. I guess in my head there are two different kinds of bad guys–the antagonist, who’s just working against the hero but may not be bad, and the villain. The villain has evil in his heart. The villain desires destruction. The villain has systematically squashed all the good in himself.
Personally, I like a story with both.
As I’m digging (slowly) into my second Edwardian book, I realized that I have quite the team of baddies in this one. I’ve got my ultimate villain, who’s still playing it cool and quiet, who no one will realize yet was the mastermind behind the whole series (mwa ha ha ha). I’ve got my secondary baddie who everyone will think is the ultimate one, who continues through the whole series. I’ve got my seriously-hurt-my-heroine, for-this-book-only dude, who’s violent and a liar and yet thinks he’s acting out of love (see, redeeming quality! LOL).
Then I’ve got my heroine’s father. It would be easy to make him a cookie-cutter abusive dad. He beats her. Not blinded-by-rage-and-nearly-kills-her kind of beating, but the methodical, make-sure-it-doesn’t-show kind. The won’t-you-ever-learn-this-lesson? kind. Wrong, yes. But does he hate her? Is he just cruel? Is there more to him?
I’m rather sick of excuses for sin and evil in our world. Sure, people get carried away. Sure, people are affected by earlier traumas. Sure, we all have reasons for our mistakes–but they should never be a crutch. They should remain reasons, not excuses. We can’t excuse sin. So I don’t ever want to pardon what my characters do. I don’t want to justify it. I don’t want to make it right.
But I do want to dig deep enough into their fictional psyches to make them make sense. And sometimes that’s hard.
Digging into Douglas (the abusive father) the other night, I realized that he isn’t trying to make his daughter weak, to get his own way. He’s trying to make her strong. His abuse began when her mother fell out of his favor, and the thing he came to despise about his wife was that she was weak. Not strong enough to deserve his name. Not strong enough to deserve their heritage. And Gusty is his only child, heir to his estate and title (this is Scotland of 1912, remember). The last thing he wants is to pass everything to a weakling who will lose it. So when he sees Gusty acting like her mother, he punishes her. He sees it as hardening steel in a fire.
She sees it as hatred, cruelty, a tyrant trying to break her. So of course, she reacts by trying to avoid the punishment. Trying to please him–or more, stay out of his way. She draws in instead of acting out. And so appears ever weaker to his eyes. When the book opens, though, she’s reached her breaking point–she’s about to explode, and she’s finally about to take a stand. She expects his all-out rage.
Instead, she’s going to earn his respect for the first time.
Now I would never, ever, ever excuse such violence. It’s not right, and it’s never going to come across as right in the book. But it’s also going to turn out to be pretty important that her father doesn’t hate her. (Don’t know that I would say he knows how to love her, but…) It’s going to be important to realize that these people misunderstood each other for a decade. It’s going to be important to see that, when it comes down to it, her father chooses the path that will protect her–more, that will enable her to protect herself.
And hopefully, it’s going to make us all stop and wonder what’s really driving that person in reality whom we just don’t get. The one who never seems to react like we think they should. The one who gets angry too quickly, who holds grudges too long, who can never see the “reasonable” (aka our) side of an argument.
It’s going to make us pause, I hope, and ask ourselves if we are that confusing person to someone else. If what we think we’re doing to help someone is actually driving them away.
In my life, I take after my dad. I lapse into silence when I’m not sure what to think, or when I fear saying something that I’ll regret. In an argument, I’m not the shouter–I’m the brooder. To my mind, that’s the wise way to be. Better to think about it and come back later with a well-thought-out response than to say something that could hurt someone I love, right? Right?
My husband is a shouter. A throw-something-er. I always say “He’s Italian. Need I say more?” He’s demonstrative, and that goes for anger as well as love. And I’m still learning that in those rare times we fight, my silence doesn’t help him. My silence makes it worse. He doesn’t really care what I say, he just wants me to say it. To engage. To his mind, when I bite my tongue I’m shutting down. Turning off. Keeping him out–and all he wants is to know what I’m thinking. Whether he agrees or not doesn’t really matter to him. What matters is that we’re communicating.
See, the thing is, there’s rarely a right way to be in life. We’re all different–and that’s good. We don’t have to all react the same way. Yes, we need to keep our reactions holy, but there are even different kinds of holy. There’s the measured and calm responses of Ezra, there are the violent and quick reactions of Nehemiah. Both were right in the eyes of God. But man, I imagine they may have had a few clashes when facing each other!
This is just one more lesson I’ve learned through story. That when I’m dealing with the “characters” who populate my life, I’d better be willing to dig deeper. To understand why they do the things they do. To accept them for that. And to never assume that I’m the protagonist in their story–it could very well be that, in that moment, I’m antagonizing instead…no matter how much “better” I think my way is.
Queen of Hearts photo credit: Express Monorail via photopin cc
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award winning author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. Having successfully launched two homeschool grads, she now spends her time writing fiction, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years, as well as a fantasy series and contemporary mysteries and romances. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books…to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.