Thoughtful About . . . Finding Christmas

by Roseanna White | Dec 17, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

Obviously, Christmas has been on my mind. And on my television. And in my news feed. It’s everywhere I look, and that’s awesome and fun. But this being me, I can’t just let it pass without thought. So I figured I’d share my reflections this year on the holiday…and how we recognize it.

First up, I’d like to shake my head at all the kids’ shows where they have to “save” Christmas. Where someone is threatening to ruin it or steal it or destroy it somehow or another. It was cute in the Grinch, because he then realizes that Christmas is something more. But I would like to posit this to all movie and TV show makers: you cannot steal Christmas. You cannot destroy it. You cannot ruin it. Christmas is not about anything we do. Christmas is about a miracle from God to man. And just like no villain can take it away, no hero can restore it. Because it’s not about us.

Which leads me to observations not aimed at the television. 😉 We also cannot have Christmas. I know that we’re thinking with generous hearts when we say we want that unfortunate family to still be able to have Christmas, so we help them out. But that’s been niggling at me too. Don’t get me wrong–I think it’s awesome to help out a family down on their luck. I think it’s wonderful to give gifts to kids, especially, who may never have gotten much before.

But “having” Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree. We know this, intellectually. But it’s still the way we think, isn’t it?

We think of Christmas as something to experience. Something that involves all these traditions, all this pomp, all these things–sparkly things and lit-up things, expensive things and cheap things. Christmas is an event, played out each year with the help of retailers and marketing executives.

What would happen, I wonder, if one year we had no gifts? Would Christmas not come? Would we not have it? The Whos down in Whoville knew better, but I posit that most of us wouldn’t hold hands and start singing if we discovered all our stuff had vanished.

But let’s put aside the stuff and things. Let’s give ourselves credit and say that, yes, if the things were removed, we’d still rejoice on Christmas. But…why? Because, probably, we’d say we still have our families, and that’s what matters.

This is beautiful. And anyone who knows me even a little knows how much I value my family.

But this year, thanks to my husband’s reflections at Thanksgiving, I had a new realization.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating not spending time with family–I think this is important! But I think it’s important all year long. Every day or week. Not just on holidays. They provide a great reason for us to get together, and the tradition of gathering to observe holy days is long-standing and not something to toss aside.

But within our hearts and minds, where are we ranking that family time in relation to Christ, to worshiping Him and standing in awe at his arrival?

If it were in the right place, would people who have lost loved ones still find this time of year so hard? Depressing? Difficult to get through?

I don’t think so. I think…and I know people are going to rail at me for saying this…I think we’ve turned our families into idols, especially this time of year. I think we value them more than we value God. Christmas has become more about who is around us than Who is in our hearts. Gathering together for a holiday is supposed to be a way of teaching the young what the day means, of reminding each other, of corporate reflection and thanksgiving–after all, corporate prayer is greater than the sum of its parts, so I daresay corporate praise is too! But the gathering-together is not supposed to be the main thing it’s about. Thanksgiving, for instance, was first and foremost supposed to be a day to thank God-–even if we’ve lost our families in the year past. How much more so Christmas?

A few years ago, we had an ice storm Christmas morning that prevented our normal brunch at my mother’s house. And yes, it got me down. I missed my family, missed spending that time together, and was watching the thermometer, waiting for it to rise above 32 and melt that ice.

Now I wonder…what should I have been doing that day to make it special, even without all my family? How can I keep my eyes on Him, even if I’m alone (I wasn’t even alone that day, still had hubby and kiddos)?

I love, love, love my family. But I ought to love, love, love, love God even more. Spending time with them is important. But spending time with Him is even more important. So here’s my challenge to myself and anyone else who wants to join in.

This year, I will take time only for Him on Christmas. This year, I will stop and rethink my thoughts to make sure that I’m paying more attention to Him than to gifts and cookies and lights and decorations…and family.

This year, Christmas will not be about presents. It will not be about anything I can “have.” It will not even be about those people I love so much.

Christmas will be about Christ.

So if we were each absolutely alone this year on December 25…how would we worship Him? And how can we bring that into our busy day?

Thoughtful About . . . Inspiring Generosity

by Roseanna White | Dec 10, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

How do you inspire generosity in your kids?

This is a question I’m asking myself a lot lately. Because while one of my children would give up absolutely anything to help someone else, the other is hard pressed to ever think about giving. Or want to give, even when it’s not remotely sacrificial.

So this is my question to you, who may have already dealt with this. How do I inspire my children to generosity?

I certainly can’t force them. Pretty sure if I make my children act selflessly, it would backfire. I’m trying to take opportunities in daily life to talk about the importance of giving (a popular topic this time of year). Of service. Of thinking of others.

It’s not sinking in, thus far.

I thought we’d try something in the spirit of Christmas and asked the kids to pick out gifts for their friends and cousins. This sort of worked, until this particular child told me what fun it was…because they knew they’d get to play with them at the friends’ and cousins’ house. (Le sigh) (And yes, writer-me was deliberately using “they” to refer to a singular person, because I want to avoid gender here in referencing my kiddo, LOL.)

I’m stumped. And giving it a lot of prayer. Because while I’m fine with kids being kids and would love to be assured that this is a phase children grow out of, I’m not willing to be one of those parents that waves off behavioral or moral issues using that excuse. But I’m also not remotely a tiger-mom type that will be an iron fist enforcing exactly what I deem necessary. Trying to strike a balance here, and I could definitely use some thoughts from you guys.

Have you ever noticed a decidedly selfish bent to one of your kids? How did you address it? Did it worry you?

I’m not gnawing at my nails in anxiety here or anything, but I do believe it’s my responsibility as a parent to foster virtues in my kids. Some come to them naturally, a part of their personality. Others are more difficult. Have you noticed that?

So what do we, as parents seeking to raise God-honoring children who love Him from the depths of their hearts, not just by rote, do to foster those good traits that they’re lacking?

I’d love to hear what you’ve found that works, either with generosity or other lessons in virtue that a child may have struggled with!