Thoughtful About . . . Kids These Days

by Roseanna White | Aug 20, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

I don’t often feel the need to take on Facebook memes. Especially not ones posted by people I actually like. And whose bottom line I can agree with. But I read one yesterday that really got my blood up. It said:

“Back in the old days we came home from school & did our homework, no game playing. We took our school clothes off when we got home & did not go outside & play in them! We didn’t sit & listen to grownups talk, we left the room until company left. We ate what was cooked or nothing @ all! When told to do something, we did it!!! We didn’t say I will do it later. I am thankful for the old days because it made me the person I am today…. Re post if you agree back in the old days was something America should of stuck to for raising kids.”

I’m still mad when I read this. Not because I don’t agree that America has lost its way, and not because I don’t fear how many kids are being raised today. And not even because the grammar in that meme makes me question that claim about always having done one’s homework (should of–really? I wasn’t aware that ‘of’ was a verb…).

But because if you were raised so well, what happened? Didn’t you raise your kids the same way? Didn’t they then raise their kids that way? And so on? If so, then why did things change?

Why? I’ll tell you. Because it’s not about the things parents don’t teach their kids today, that you were taught. It’s about the things parents still teach their kids, just like you were taught.

It’s not that you were told, “Eat this or don’t eat.” It’s that you were raised thinking, “I don’t want potatoes again. When I grow up, I want more. I want choices.” You told your kids, “You’re so lucky–I only had one pair of good shoes. Look how many you have! Look how hard I worked to give you something better!” And your kids grew up thinking, “My parents wanted better–I want better too. I want more. I’m going to work hard and make even more money. So I can give my kids even more opportunities.” And those kids now rush to ten different extra-curricular activities in their family with three cars, and pairs of shoes get lost and not noticed, and pantries are burgeoning with junk food.

And it’s not because one day a generation stood up and decided, “You know what? My grandparents were fools, and I think now’s a great time to destroy American society.”

It changed because every generation that is given something wants more. It’s because our constant quest to give our children better means they don’t appreciate what they have. It’s because it starts with a generation that’s just trying to survive…and then to be comfortable…and then to have a little extra…and spirals out of control.

And too, it’s because you’re looking at the past through those proverbial rose-colored glasses. You say you always did what you were told. I say, “Tom Sawyer.” He’s even from generations before, and he made a career of goofing off and putting off chores. You really mean to tell me you never did? Are you aware that the word “hooky” dates from 1848? I call bullcrap. You were a kid. Kids are kids. Kids have always been kids. They ditch chores. They test limits. They forget about obligations in the face of the promise of fun. Maybe some learn that the consequences aren’t worth it–but that rests on the parents. So what did you do with your kids?

This is not something new, this tendency. You can see it in literature hundreds of years old. Especially in literature dealing with the spoiled upper classes.

That’s what America has become–spoiled. And it isn’t the kids who are spoiling themselves–so who should we really blame? Why are you musing about when you were a kid…instead of when you were a parent with young kids?

A society doesn’t rot in one generation. It takes, so history tells us, three. Three generations of shifting morals. That means it started with those who are posting these memes, or even with their parents. Please don’t blame it all on my generation. We have plenty of faults, sure! And I certainly don’t agree with the prevailing mindset of many of those my age. But we’re not all like that. And do you know why?

It’s because I didn’t leave the room when the grownups were talking. I listened to them. And I learned. I learned how things change. I learned how they shouldn’t. I learned what I needed to do to make sure my kids grow up knowing what is right and wrong–and what I need not to do.

I learned it’s not just enough to say, “No. You can’t have that. We can’t afford it. When you grow up and get a job, you can buy that yourself.” We have to instead say, “No. We don’t need that. We can spend that money helping someone instead. When you grow up, you can do even more good.”

It’s not enough to say, “Back in my day, we didn’t have this problem.” Instead, we need to say, “When you grow up, you’ll be facing a new set of problems like this. How do you think you should handle it?”

It’s not enough to say, “We used to respect our elders.” True respect isn’t just given, it’s earned.  I respect my elders. But I’m also doing my best to make sure my kids respect me.

Don’t whine about “kids these days.” Don’t say, “we used to do it this way.” It’s the way it was once done that led to the way it’s being done now. We don’t change it by following the pattern.

We change it by breaking it.

Thoughtful About . . . I’m Not Called

by Roseanna White | Aug 6, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

I’m not called to build a wall.
Just a section of it.

I’m not called to change a nation.
Just a family.

I’m not called to right all wrongs.
Just my wrongs.

I’m not called to understand it all.
Just to seek understanding through Him.

I’m not called to single-handedly fund the church.
Just to give my part.

I’m not called to be the best friend of everyone.
Just of those God has given me.

I’m not called to win awards.
Just to glorify Him with my efforts.

I’m not called to have the best of the best.
Just to be a good steward of what I’m given.

I’m not called to be everything to everyone.
Just to be me…to be His.

I’m not called to do your part.
Just to do mine.

But if we all do ours…

Then the wall gets built.
The nation changes.
The world improves.
Understanding grows.
Things get done.
Love spreads.
Good deeds are the order of the day.
God is glorified through what our hands touch.

And the world will look and say, “There is a people whose God is the Lord.”

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Thoughtful About . . . I Am

by Roseanna White | Jul 30, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

I am a mom–an imperfect one, but one who tries to show her kids what she can…and who is constantly amazed by these two precious little people who latch onto my waist and declare, “Mine! You’ll always be my mama!”

He is my Father–a perfect one, who shows me in so many ways what I can do through Him. Who constantly amazes me with the gifts, small and large, that He has given us. Who patiently whispers, “Mine. You’ll always be my daughter.”

I am a wife–one who messes up now and then, who says the wrong thing and forgets to make dinner. But one who still gets that little pitter-patter inside at the thought of seeing her husband after a short absence. Who dares to dream along with him of somedays and maybes.

He is the Bridegroom–the one who is always waiting for his Bride to remember her vows, to remain faithful, to reach for perfection. The one with arms outstretched in love for His church, for the world.

I am a bit of recluse–the kind who likes company, sure, but who gets lost in a crowd. Who sits at a party feeling awkward, even when it’s all family. Who can give a sermon or a speech no problem, but who often stumbles through the unscripted…until she has a keyboard under her fingers or a pen in her hand.

He is everywhere. Always. And yet He doesn’t force His way in. He stands outside the doors of our hearts and awaits our invitation. To come in. To sit with us. To give us the words we can’t find and the sense of belonging that sometimes evades us.

I am a homemaker–but not the kind who makes a beautiful, showcase home. I appreciate those, but they’re not for me. I would rather spend my spare dollars on dreams and goals and helping those who have less than on curtains or decorations. All I need, I have discovered, is enough–when I find myself with more, it’s meant to be used for a greater purpose than my own comfort.

He is the Creator–the one who made the world and all that’s in it. Who clothed the lilies of the field. Who made a home for every creature. The one who bids me, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just follow Me today.”

Sometimes, when I’m tired or down or just overwhelmed, it’s easy to focus on all I’m not. But I’m not not. I am. I am all He made me, and all He made me to be that I haven’t yet realized. I’m flaws and strengths, weaknesses and determination.

I’m a shadow of Him–a mirror, I pray, of His light. I am His. And He is I AM.

Thoughtful About . . . A Way to Help!

by Roseanna White | Jul 23, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

The potato harvest in Bulgaria ~ Food that can change lives!

It’s been a familiar refrain for me lately–that I don’t want to be all talk, I want to do something to share my faith, take a stand, make a difference. And I know I’m not alone in this. But all too often, we ask…but what?

I have a what. And I’m excited about it. =)

I’ve talked a bit before about friends of the family who have been traveling as missionaries to Bulgaria for the last 20 years. Right now they’re in the planning stages for a permanent move to Bulgaria, so they can serve the community of Romas (the gypsy people) they love like their own. Well, last week they got some news with the potential to devastate this community–their crop of potatoes had been harvested, but the market had bottomed out. They had no buyers. What were they going to do?

Our friend, Mike, had been praying about the situation, and talking with friends in the field. Friends ministering to another group in that region in desperate straits–the refugees fleeing ISIS. Tens of thousands have come into this region in the last year, running for their lives. Many are Christians. Some are “not Muslim enough” (read: extremist). All are in a dire situation, living in camps and not sure where their next meal will come from.

The refugees need food for the families.

The Romas need to sell their crop to support their families.

The solution is pretty clear–the Romas can send their potatoes to the refugee camps, solving both problems. But that requires us.

I’m so incredibly thrilled to have a tangible way to help! This is something I can relate to: potatoes. They cost $300 a ton, including transportation to the refugee camps. $300 to feed hundreds of people.

I spend that on my family’s groceries in a couple weeks. Kinda puts it in perspective.

But our donations can make a very real, very direct difference in all these lives. And it’s not a donation to some huge organization, where I have no clue if my money is actually helping or just paying for mailings that get tossed. Absolutely 100% of funds raised (after the fees of the site hosting our fundraiser) will go toward this mission.

It’s officially being hosted by the non-profit my husband started recently, ARM (Appalachian Relief Mission ~ an ARM outstretched) in conjunction with our friends’ organization, Roma Missions International. Both have new websites with not a lot on them yet, but you’re welcome to check them out. www.AnArmOutstretched.com | www.RomaMissions.org

I can’t imagine being forced from my home to keep my family from being slaughtered by extremists–but that’s the plight of these refugees.

I can’t imagine growing up in a country where talking of faith, of God, was illegal–but that’s what these Roma farmers faced until the fall of communism at the end of the 20th century.

Let’s make a difference. Let’s feed some people. You can find the GoFundMe page at gofundme.com/zyrq3s