Thoughtful About . . . Finding Christmas

by Roseanna White | Dec 17, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

Obviously, Christmas has been on my mind. And on my television. And in my news feed. It’s everywhere I look, and that’s awesome and fun. But this being me, I can’t just let it pass without thought. So I figured I’d share my reflections this year on the holiday…and how we recognize it.

First up, I’d like to shake my head at all the kids’ shows where they have to “save” Christmas. Where someone is threatening to ruin it or steal it or destroy it somehow or another. It was cute in the Grinch, because he then realizes that Christmas is something more. But I would like to posit this to all movie and TV show makers: you cannot steal Christmas. You cannot destroy it. You cannot ruin it. Christmas is not about anything we do. Christmas is about a miracle from God to man. And just like no villain can take it away, no hero can restore it. Because it’s not about us.

Which leads me to observations not aimed at the television. 😉 We also cannot have Christmas. I know that we’re thinking with generous hearts when we say we want that unfortunate family to still be able to have Christmas, so we help them out. But that’s been niggling at me too. Don’t get me wrong–I think it’s awesome to help out a family down on their luck. I think it’s wonderful to give gifts to kids, especially, who may never have gotten much before.

But “having” Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree. We know this, intellectually. But it’s still the way we think, isn’t it?

We think of Christmas as something to experience. Something that involves all these traditions, all this pomp, all these things–sparkly things and lit-up things, expensive things and cheap things. Christmas is an event, played out each year with the help of retailers and marketing executives.

What would happen, I wonder, if one year we had no gifts? Would Christmas not come? Would we not have it? The Whos down in Whoville knew better, but I posit that most of us wouldn’t hold hands and start singing if we discovered all our stuff had vanished.

But let’s put aside the stuff and things. Let’s give ourselves credit and say that, yes, if the things were removed, we’d still rejoice on Christmas. But…why? Because, probably, we’d say we still have our families, and that’s what matters.

This is beautiful. And anyone who knows me even a little knows how much I value my family.

But this year, thanks to my husband’s reflections at Thanksgiving, I had a new realization.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating not spending time with family–I think this is important! But I think it’s important all year long. Every day or week. Not just on holidays. They provide a great reason for us to get together, and the tradition of gathering to observe holy days is long-standing and not something to toss aside.

But within our hearts and minds, where are we ranking that family time in relation to Christ, to worshiping Him and standing in awe at his arrival?

If it were in the right place, would people who have lost loved ones still find this time of year so hard? Depressing? Difficult to get through?

I don’t think so. I think…and I know people are going to rail at me for saying this…I think we’ve turned our families into idols, especially this time of year. I think we value them more than we value God. Christmas has become more about who is around us than Who is in our hearts. Gathering together for a holiday is supposed to be a way of teaching the young what the day means, of reminding each other, of corporate reflection and thanksgiving–after all, corporate prayer is greater than the sum of its parts, so I daresay corporate praise is too! But the gathering-together is not supposed to be the main thing it’s about. Thanksgiving, for instance, was first and foremost supposed to be a day to thank God-–even if we’ve lost our families in the year past. How much more so Christmas?

A few years ago, we had an ice storm Christmas morning that prevented our normal brunch at my mother’s house. And yes, it got me down. I missed my family, missed spending that time together, and was watching the thermometer, waiting for it to rise above 32 and melt that ice.

Now I wonder…what should I have been doing that day to make it special, even without all my family? How can I keep my eyes on Him, even if I’m alone (I wasn’t even alone that day, still had hubby and kiddos)?

I love, love, love my family. But I ought to love, love, love, love God even more. Spending time with them is important. But spending time with Him is even more important. So here’s my challenge to myself and anyone else who wants to join in.

This year, I will take time only for Him on Christmas. This year, I will stop and rethink my thoughts to make sure that I’m paying more attention to Him than to gifts and cookies and lights and decorations…and family.

This year, Christmas will not be about presents. It will not be about anything I can “have.” It will not even be about those people I love so much.

Christmas will be about Christ.

So if we were each absolutely alone this year on December 25…how would we worship Him? And how can we bring that into our busy day?

Thoughtful About . . . Inspiring Generosity

by Roseanna White | Dec 10, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

How do you inspire generosity in your kids?

This is a question I’m asking myself a lot lately. Because while one of my children would give up absolutely anything to help someone else, the other is hard pressed to ever think about giving. Or want to give, even when it’s not remotely sacrificial.

So this is my question to you, who may have already dealt with this. How do I inspire my children to generosity?

I certainly can’t force them. Pretty sure if I make my children act selflessly, it would backfire. I’m trying to take opportunities in daily life to talk about the importance of giving (a popular topic this time of year). Of service. Of thinking of others.

It’s not sinking in, thus far.

I thought we’d try something in the spirit of Christmas and asked the kids to pick out gifts for their friends and cousins. This sort of worked, until this particular child told me what fun it was…because they knew they’d get to play with them at the friends’ and cousins’ house. (Le sigh) (And yes, writer-me was deliberately using “they” to refer to a singular person, because I want to avoid gender here in referencing my kiddo, LOL.)

I’m stumped. And giving it a lot of prayer. Because while I’m fine with kids being kids and would love to be assured that this is a phase children grow out of, I’m not willing to be one of those parents that waves off behavioral or moral issues using that excuse. But I’m also not remotely a tiger-mom type that will be an iron fist enforcing exactly what I deem necessary. Trying to strike a balance here, and I could definitely use some thoughts from you guys.

Have you ever noticed a decidedly selfish bent to one of your kids? How did you address it? Did it worry you?

I’m not gnawing at my nails in anxiety here or anything, but I do believe it’s my responsibility as a parent to foster virtues in my kids. Some come to them naturally, a part of their personality. Others are more difficult. Have you noticed that?

So what do we, as parents seeking to raise God-honoring children who love Him from the depths of their hearts, not just by rote, do to foster those good traits that they’re lacking?

I’d love to hear what you’ve found that works, either with generosity or other lessons in virtue that a child may have struggled with!

Thoughtful About . . . Hatred, Fear, Terror, and How to Defeat Them

by Roseanna White | Nov 19, 2015 | Thoughtful Thursdays, Uncategorized

It’s been an ugly week. A terrible week. My heart and prayers have dwelt much with the people of Paris after the horrible attacks. My heart is heavy that so many have tried to use it as a platform for their own agenda. I won’t be one of those. I just want to talk today about all that evil in the world.

And how we can fight it.

Terrorism is evil. I’m positing that as an axiom, so if you disagree with that general statement, then don’t bother reading on.

Terrorism is evil, and those who commit it have let that evil dwell in them, which makes them by extension evil as well. Not beyond redemption, but so committed to their cause that they are unlikely to hear opposing views.

Terrorists, then, are evil. And they are committed. And as people committed to evil, they will work hard to achieve their goals. They will find ways in. They will plot. They will plan.

But their plan isn’t just to kill–it’s to terrorize. That’s part of the definition, right? That they are trying to instill terror into a people group. Not just to hurt and kill them, but to make those who are unharmed fearful. To make them quake. To make them hate them back.

Wait, what?

No, I didn’t mistype. Think about it. If these people are working for evil, let’s examine what we know about the ultimate Evil. It too has a goal–to steal, to kill, to destroy. And to turn hearts away from God. What turns hearts away from God?

Hatred. Unforgiveness. Bitterness. Fear.

If terrorists can make good people hate Muslims, then they’re happy–because they’re polarizing the world. They’re ending peace, even where war hasn’t been officially declared. They’re convincing endless nations to greet with hate anyone from the Middle East, which will only help them in their efforts to radicalize more young people. “Look,” they’ll say, “how the West treats us. Look how they hate us.”

I will not hate them.

I will not fear them.

Are the radicals out there, planning ways to sneak into Europe and America? Absolutely. Will they take advantage of the flood of refugees? Absolutely. If the refugees are forbidden entrance to a country, will the radicals find another way in? Absolutely.

So how do we react? Do we lock down our borders? Do we pick up our weapons? Do we declare every Muslim the enemy?

I pray, with everything within me, that we do not.

Eighty years or so ago, there was an evil regime in control of a country. It perpetrated unspeakable evil. It terrorized an entire continent into subjugation. It killed. It raped. It mutilated. It convinced its youth that it was right to do so. And anyone who didn’t agree was either killed or forced out.

I have some German blood in me. Does that mean I’m evil by association? Does it mean people were right to distrust any German Americans during WWII? Were we right to force Japanese Americans into internment camps during the war?

I hope you think the answer is “no.” But just think, for a moment, how afraid that generation was. How they said, “We’re just protecting our country.”

Now fast-forward to this regime in Syria who is killing or forcing out millions of its own citizens who don’t agree with its beliefs or politics. These people are already victims–and now they’re facing a world who will blanket them with hatred, because they fear that one of those evil people–the very people who beheaded their friends and blew up their neighbor’s car and burned down their house–might be hidden among them.

This is what our generation will be judged for. How do we respond to this crisis? This tragedy?

We don’t defeat terror by reacting from fear or anger or hatred. That is how they win. They steal our peace, they steal our security . . . and they steal the love from our very hearts.

We have to be wise. Absolutely. While we’re praying, we would do well to pray that those in authority have discernment. We don’t want to be responsible for bringing in those few evil ones. But we also don’t want to be responsible for destroying the innocent. We don’t want to be responsible for hating an entire group of people because of what a mutual enemy has done. We don’t want to step on a slippery-slope of blanket judgment that leads us to become the villain in our effort to protect ourselves. But that is a possibility. We have decisions before us, and some of them would lead us to committing terrible sins in the name of security.

But other paths lead to millions of people hearing the truth about God. Seeing how He loves them. Seeing what it really means to be a Christian. To be part of a faith that isn’t founded on killing, like parts of Islam are, but on sacrificing for the salvation of others.

My Jesus didn’t kill his enemies. He died for them.

He didn’t hate them. He loved them.

This isn’t a question of how the nation will respond. It’s a question of how you will. Will you hate, or will you love? Will you fear . . . or will you trust in Him?