Sometimes We Forget

Sometimes We Forget

by | Nov 9, 2023 | Thoughtful Thursdays

The other day, my husband was reading my manuscript for Imposters 3, An Honorable Deception, before I turn it in. Now, he reads most of my books before I send them off to my editors, but he’s bowed out of the last couple for one reason or another, which means he hasn’t read anything of mine since Imposters 2, which I turned in back in March. We talk a lot about my writing, the edits that come in, the whole process, and David is without competition the one who does most to support my writing on a daily basis, reworking our lives around my deadlines.

So anyway. The other day I was back at my desk in Xoe’s room (okay, Xoe’s desk in Xoe’s room, but it’s mine until she comes home for Thanksgiving, LOL) working on a cover design. I heard him walking through the living room so knew he’d be coming my way and thought he’d poke his head in to share something he just saw on Facebook or even ask a question about something in the book, if he was actively reading. Instead, he just walked over to my chair and wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I think I said something enlightened, like a laughing, “Hi?”

He held me tight a moment more and then said, “Sometimes I just forget what a great writer you are.”

I have no idea what part he’d just read that made him feel the need to walk the length of the house and tell me that, but it warmed me from the inside out. And that phrase just stuck with me. Sometimes I forget…

It stuck because it struck. It resonated. Because you know what? Sometimes we forget.

Sometimes we forget that the people we love aren’t just the people we love.
Sometimes we forget that our kids just need a listening ear.
Sometimes we forget that our friends struggle.
Sometimes we forget that the strangers that cut us off have lives that are weighing on them.
Sometimes we forget that God loves our rivals as much as He loves us.

Sometimes we forget that just because we think something, doesn’t make it right.
Sometimes we forget that we don’t have to fix everything.
Sometimes we forget that we’re the ones who shaped this modern world into what it is.
Sometimes we forget that we can have a conversation and it doesn’t even matter if we agree.
Sometimes we forget that Christ chose sinners as his dinner companions, not the righteous.

Sometimes we forget that suffering should draw us closer to Jesus.
Sometimes we forget that this hard place is necessary to bring us where He wants us.
Sometimes we forget that we actually have it really good.
Sometimes we forget that we can let go and say no.
Sometimes we forget that joy is a choice, not circumstantial.

Sometimes we forget that we are children of God.
Sometimes we forget that we are exactly who He made us to be.
Sometimes we forget that we still have to strive always after Him.
Sometimes we forget that He promised us trials.
Sometimes we forget that every action should be based in love, not getting our own way.

Sometimes, my friends, we forget. We forget who God really is. We forget who we really are. We forget that the people around us aren’t just our vision of them. We forget that our life’s story isn’t the only life story playing out. We forget that we’re called to be part of something bigger than our own concerns.

We all forget. But…we also all remember. We get those glimpses. Those reminders. Those pangs in the heart. And when they come, I pray we can all do exactly what my husband did. Put down whatever we’re doing. Take the journey, whether it’s a phone call or an email or a walk or a drive. Wrap our arms, physically or metaphorically, around someone. And just let them know, “I remember. I remember what a precious gift you are. I remember. And I love you.”

A Gratitude Challenge

A Gratitude Challenge

by | Nov 2, 2023 | Thoughtful Thursdays

Last year I presented this challenge to you. It’s a new year, a new November, and I wanted to challenge you again with this. Original post published 11/3/22.

It’s November. Every November, as I scroll through social media or blogs, I see people posting about what they’re grateful for. Thankful for. People taking the whole month to appreciate all they’ve been given from the Lord. Beautiful, obviously!

But you know…sometimes I see or hear those same people doing something we all fall into so easily, even during a month of gratitude: COMPLAINING.

I very nearly titled this post “Hey, you–yeah, YOU–stop complaining!” … but I wasn’t sure it would come through that I was talking to myself as much as you, LOL. But I totally am. Because here’s the thing, friends: complaining is addictive.

Seriously. It releases one of those chemicals into your brain, and it also elicits responses from people–either they jump on board with the complaining (bonding!) or they argue, but either way, it feeds our need to be seen and heard and to engage with others.

Complaining can sometimes help us articulate a problem and, hence, find a solution to it. Sometimes stating, “Man, I’m tired,” can mean, “I should probably stop working now and rest before I make a mistake,” or “Wow, I’ve put in a hard day’s work today!” Sometimes, when I say I’m sore, what I’m really saying is that I need to take a few minutes to stretch. There is simple observation…

But how often do we instead use our complaints as a constant lens through which we view the world? How often do we go looking for what we disapprove of in a situation, instead of focusing on the good?

Just think over your latest conversations. Food, politics, religion, your car, your work, your clothes, your family…how much of your focus on these topics was on the negative? Sure, we can be grateful we have all those things, but if we then turn around and pick it apart, are we really exhibiting the gratitude and thanksgiving that God calls us to offer up to Him?

In a book of efficiency called Effortless, the author had caught himself in a pattern of complaining so issued himself a simple challenge: every time he complained out loud, he had to put a dollar in a jar. Well, he soon curbed the spoken words, so then it was every time he thought about complaining, he put the money in. Pretty soon, he’d stopped even thinking complaints. Every time something came up that would usually have made him grumble, he consciously reframed it. Maybe into a mere observation: So maybe, “She is late AGAIN” turned into “Huh, that’s the third time this week she’s been late” and then–here’s the real trick–into a compassionate response like “I wonder why she’s late again? Are her days stressful? Is there anything I can do to help her with that?”

This month, I’m going to be issuing myself a challenge, and I’d love it if some of you would join me. Let’s turn our complaining into compassion and our grumbling into gratitude! Every time we think or speak a complaint, let’s pause and reframe it into something positive–something to be grateful for. Let’s stop being put out by people and start trying to help them.

My example: when walking along the beach with my best friend in September, I observed, “Man, it’s crowded out here! I hate crowded beaches.” We’d just been talking about complaining, so we laughed and immediately reframed it to: “Isn’t it great that so many people are out with their families enjoying God’s creation? It’s pretty awesome that I get to be here sharing that with them too.”

To help us all out with that, I’ve even created a little printable mini-journal. To help us develop the habit, let’s keep this with us and jot down our complaints–and more importantly, our reframing of them into a praise–throughout the month. I bet as the weeks wears on, we’ll find fewer and fewer occasions to use it…because we’ll stop complaining in general!

What things or topics tend to evoke the most complaints in your conversation? How can you check that impulse?

Download the Printable Journal
YOUR Creativity!

YOUR Creativity!

by | Oct 26, 2023 | Thoughtful Thursdays

Well, I’ve just gotten back from another writing retreat, this one in Pensacola Beach, FL, with my best friend/critique partner, Stephanie. We spent a whole week together this time (first time ever, in honor of her 40th birthday!), and we alternated our time between writing, walking on the beach, and talking and laughing.

These creative retreats–always writing for me–are amazing things. I’ve talked about them many times before. And what I love is that so many of you are inspired by them and email to ask advice for how to make the most of your OWN retreats you’re planning, whether it’s time away with friends or a few days you’ve taken off work at home to finish up that project you mean to be a gift before a special day.

As I’m in the midst of my own season of retreats and creativity, and as we’re approaching November, which is National Novel Writing Month and many writers I know will be putting their creative noses to the metaphorical grindstone–not to mention that the holidays are approaching and many creatives are making gifts for loved ones, or even for sale–I thought it was the perfect time to doff my cap to you all. Whether writers or crafters or quilters or seamstresses or yarn-artists or any number of other things, YOU are creative. Each and every one of you. Made in the image of our creative God.

A while back, I conducted a survey, which 125 of you took the time to fill out (THANK YOU!!). It was a LONG survey, so the fact that so many of you completed it is amazing and humbling! But I absolutely LOVED learning more about you. I loved how open and vulnerable you were on the questions about your hopes and fears, your dreams and disappointments. And I also loved seeing how you each express your creativity in the form of your hobbies.

I never actually shared those results with you all, which was such an oversight! I’m not doing to go into ALL the questions, of course, but as I’m pondering creativity, I do want to share the results of the hobby section–specifically, the creative aspects.

Baking/Cooking

We all need to eat and most of us have other people we’re responsible for feeding now and then (or constantly) too. Sometimes this very basic act of creation–creating food meant to take the basic act of sustenance from necessity to pleasure–can be a chore. Sometimes it can be true artistic expression. Often, it’s something in between.

Now, I will readily admit that cooking usually feels like a chore to me, but baking is always a delight. I love making homemade breads, cookies, cakes, muffins…you name it. If it goes in the oven, I love to make it, and that goes for savory as well as sweet dishes.

And 60.8% of you also said that you consider baking or cooking to be a hobby! Now, how many of you who checked that box pause to think of it as creative? Hopefully all of you. Or if you haven’t before, I hope the next time you’re stirring together ingredients in the kitchen, you pause to consider that you’re taking bits and pieces of separate things and creating something new from them, just like an artist with a brush.

Dancing

Creative expression through dance is another art form that I have such great appreciation for! From ballroom dancing to modern and everything in between, dancing is a performance that turns our bodies into our metaphorical paint brushes. I danced as a kid, and while I haven’t lately, my daughter took ballet for 13 years, and I love watching their shows. There’s something so amazing about seeing how the grace God granted humanity can be used to create these visuals with our limbs. Synchronized movement, then variated movement among the dancers…dance is something that always amazes me, impresses me, and makes me smile.

In my survey, 14.4% of you love dancing and do it enough to consider it a hobby. You are all artists!

Gardening

Talk about imitating our Creator!

I am not a gardener. I love the idea of it and had great goals of getting into gardening when I was a young woman first out on my own, but then reality set in, and I realized I would rather spend that time doing other things, LOL. But I absolutely love the RESULTS of gardening and love seeing what other people grow. If you’re a gardener, I’d love to hear whether you focus on flowers or fruits and veggies, or both! What do you most love bringing forth from the ground? What’s the most fun for you to grow? The biggest challenge?

22.4% of you reported loving to garden! I imagine when you see what has sprung up from once-barren earth, you have a little sliver of the same “it is good” feeling that God had when He fashioned the earth and planted it.

Hand Crafts

When the kids were little, we did so much crafting! Sometimes it was using paper and glue and (that dreaded) glitter, sometimes it was craft sticks and hot glue and paint, sometimes it was molded string. We have Modge Podge in every variety, balsam wood, clay, paint…I actually just cleaned out our old craft basket and smiled over all the things my kids and I used to create. And we were just amateurs! When I scroll through Etsy looking for unique, handmade gifts, I’m in awe over how creative and skilled so many people are! From decorations made from old book pages (a fabulous way to recycle books otherwise destined for the trash, for sure!) to woodworking, to handmade ornaments and so much more, people’s crafty creations always make me smile.

And I’m not the only one! 29.6% of you claim crafting as a hobby, and I would LOVE to see some of the things you create!

Music

Performance arts are so interesting, aren’t they? Music and dance and other performances are a unique kind of creativity, in that they vanish as soon as they’re completed. They can be appreciated only by being there and watching or listening, at least until relatively recently. Today, of course, we can record them and rewatch or listen. But that wasn’t the case for most of human history…and yet music has always been part of our story. So even without being able to trot it out over and over, humanity obviously placed great emphasis on creating and performing music, whether with an instrument or voice.

My first part-time job was playing the organ at my church. At one of my early office jobs in college, it soon became a joke that Nicole (who worked at the desk beside mine) talked to herself, and I sang to myself. So true. I have always been wont to break into song without warning (just ask my sister, who threatened to disown me as a teen if I didn’t stop singing first thing in the morning…).

And I am definitely not the only music lover among us! The survey reported that 36% of you are also musicians! This includes both vocal and instrumental music. But I’d love to know more! Do you sing? Play an instrument? Which ones? Do share in the comments!

Performing Arts (stage and screen)

Of course, there are more performing arts than dance and music, so I lumped them together as “stage and screen.” When I was in middle school, I fancied myself destined for an acting career for, oh, a year or two. I did some community theater productions–a one-act Christmas play and then The King and I. After that, I decided that while I loved it, I didn’t love the time investment and didn’t actually see myself pursuing it as a career, so I shrugged and decided to write another book instead. 😉

But the love never left me entirely, for sure, and in recent years as my husband has learned the film industry, my respect for everyone involved in creating such entertainment has only grown. The creativity involved in writing, acting, set-creation, lighting, sound, and more is awe-inspiring. And then if you toss in CG for screen stuff, not to mention costume design, choreography and staging…I mean, wow, right?

There were 12% of the survey-takers who are involved in this sort of performing arts. If you’re involved in stage or screen, I’d love to know what your favorite show you’ve worked on has been!

Photography

As a graphics designer, good photographers have my infinite respect and awe. I am TERRIBLE at photography. I don’t know why, but I learned long ago to pass my camera or phone to one of my kids instead of trying to take it myself, even when they were little, LOL. There is so much creativity, skill, instinct, and artistic eye involved in capturing an image in just the way you want to.

15.2% of you claimed photography as a hobby…but I bet many more of you than that take joy in capturing that sunrise or perfect flower, snapping pictures of your families and friends, or immortalizing a moment in time with the help of your camera or cell phone. And each time you do, you’re creating a lasting memory.

Quilting

I probably only thought to include this one because I have 2 quilters in my P&P group, which means I’ve gotten to watch some quilts come to life before my eyes. So much fun! Before I got married, I decided I wanted to quilt, so hand-pieced a quilt-top, along with my best college friend…but I never actually finished the quilting, LOL. And I have no idea where the top is…my MIL took it to someone to finish, but we never got it back, and that was 20 years ago, so…

Anyway. Candice and Deanna aren’t alone, but they’re in the minority. There were 5.6% of you who reported loving to quilt. Few, but we can all appreciate the artistry and functionality of the beauty you create with fabric and thread. =)

Reading

A not surprising 96.8% of you reported reading as a hobby, and I’d love to know who on my list doesn’t love reading, that we’re missing 3.2% LOL. 😉

Seriously, though, my P&P group debated whether reading was creative, and I decided that OF COURSE it is! Reading is how we interact with writing, but it’s more than that. When we read, we create too. We add ourselves to what the writer created, we take it in and make it our own. We visit new places, we imagine new people, we hear their voices and experience whole worlds with them. And we do it creatively. No two people experience a book in the same way, no two people imagine the characters exactly the same. Each book you read is YOURS, and part of your own creativity.

Sewing

I love listening to the stories people tell about parents and grandparents who sew, about learning it themselves, about passing it along. We laugh over stories of kids who either love or hate what’s created for them, and what sort of sewing people excel at. I daresay we ALL love that so many people DO sew! That’s how we get the clothes we wear, the dresses we drool over, the items we need for our homes, and so much more.

My own use of a needle and thread is minimal, but sewing is something I wish I could do better, and which my daughter hopes to master when she has the time, so that she can create or alter her own clothes (necessary for someone as petite and slender as she is–nothing ever fits!). There were 23.2% of you who checked that box, and I’d love to know what your favorite thing is to sew. =)

Visual Arts (drawing, painting, sculpting etc)

Often when we think of creatives, visual artists spring to mind. These are the drawers and painters, the sculptors and creators that we usually think of when we say the word “artist.” I love visual arts, though I’m by no means an expert. I have an artistic eye and a small dose of talent (very small), enough to make me really appreciate those who can just take a pencil, paper, and make something beautiful appear on it. My daughter and niece are both amazing artists and make me so proud.

According to my survey, 11.2% of you take joy in creating this kind of art, and of course I would LOVE to see what you create. =) What’s your preferred media? Subject? Style?

Writing

I was so excited to see that 43.2% of you are writers too! I’m obviously partial to this form of creativity, and I talk about it enough that I daresay I don’t need to wax poetical here. 😉 But I am curious about whether such a huge percentage of ALL my readers also write, or if it’s just that fellow-writers are more likely to fill out a survey for one of their own, LOL. 😉 In either case, three cheers for the wordsmiths who create whole worlds, filled with people and stories, in their minds and put them down for others to share in as well!

Yarn Crafts (Knitting, Crocheting, etc)

In 2015, a wonderful lady at my church decided to start knitting and crocheting lessons before our weekly Bible study, so I thought, “Sure, we’ll go.” I’d always had a fascination with the simple beauty of yarn, but I had never picked up either a knitting needle or crochet hook before. But after the first lesson, once I’d figured out what in the world that basic knit stitch was, I attacked knitting with the single-minded focus I occasionally get for anything that I find interesting. Yes, we can call it obsession. It was, LOL. I didn’t want to wait for the next week to learn how to purl, so I had YouTube instruct me. And then I watched some other videos. And I went into my next lesson with a potholder-sized piece in three colors that I’d created with no pattern, just watching a pretty stitch someone did on YouTube. Judith (my teacher) was dumbfounded. The next week, I’d made a cabled scarf (because how was I supposed to know that cabling was difficult? It looked easy enough to me!). I definitely operated on the “I don’t know what I can’t do” mentality and dove off the deep-end, for sure, LOL.

I wouldn’t consider knitting an obsession these days, but I do absolutely still love to do it. I’ve learned what I can’t do yet (short rows, man…I need to watch videos every time!) and also learned that smaller projects suit my time constraints better. I get bored with larger ones. I’ve only crocheted a few small things, but one of these days when time permits, don’t be surprised if I determine to master that too. 😉

And clearly this is still a very popular pastime! 29.6% of you claim yarn crafts as a hobby. Do tell me whether you prefer knitting or crocheting, and if you have a favorite type of project or particular pattern you return to over and again. I think shawls are always going to be my go-to…so much variety and beauty!

And Write-Ins…

I also gave people the chance to write in other hobbies I hadn’t put on the form. There were many that included physical activities that I’m not defining as strictly “creative” for the purposes of this post, but the other creative ones included writing encouraging notes, puzzles, woodworking, soap making, candle making, journaling, and scrapbooking.

You are all SO creative, in so many ways! And I love seeing the variety that creative bent takes in us all. =)

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Creativity and Friends – The P&P Retreat

Creativity and Friends – The P&P Retreat

by | Oct 12, 2023 | Thoughtful Thursdays

The last week of September, 13 people gathered at a beautiful beach house in Waves, North Carolina–very near Rodanthe in the Outer Banks. We came from Tennessee, Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Texas (x2), Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina. We ranged in age from 15 (that would be my son, LOL) to 82, and everything in between. We had quilters, writers, readers, and cross-stitchers.

And something even better: the truest fellowship.

All these guests are either members of my Patrons & Peers group or a spouse (or son, of course) of one. We all know each other from our Marco Polo chats, our emails, and the texts and phone calls and visits that have resulted from this community. Though 80% of us are self-proclaimed introverts who blend into corners as much as possible in most social situations, there were no wallflowers here. Because though we’ve only known each other a year and a half or less, we are true friends. Community. Family. A tribe.

“These are my people,” Pam had told her husband, who joined her on the retreat. And we all laughed as he agreed and marveled. “I didn’t know anyone but Pam actually talked like this,” he said. Like this would mean that we sat and talked books and stories and authors, we talked about our families and our struggles, our faith and our hopes. We waved hello to each others’ kids and grandkids on video chat, we took walks on the storm-scarred, super-moon-king-tide-barely-there beach, we ate too much and laughed unceasingly, and we planned where we’d go next and when.

This was our second P&P Creative Retreat. The “rules” I set out were that in the main part of the day, we work on what brings us joy creatively. Deanna and Candice set up in the basement with their sewing machines and quilt blocks. Bethany and Cindy spent their days at the beach with books in hand. Betty alternated between reading and cross-stitching on the couch next to mine, while I wrote feverishly to get a book finished. Bonnie and Pam and Pam’s husband Steve did some sightseeing, some reading, and juggled day-jobs from their laptops. Caroline did some writing tutorials she had saved and needed quiet for, and played around with a fairy-tale retellings. Danielle got a start on the fifth story in her Harbored in Crow’s Nest series of historical romantic suspense books. My husband, David, worked on a screenplay, and my son, Rowyn (who only made appearances with the group for meals, LOL), built worlds in his favorite games.

And then we’d all converge for dinner, and we’d settle on those couches, and we’d talk about everything, we’d laugh, we’d have some ice cream, and we’d deepen the friendships that were already so miraculously strong.

As the organizer of this whole group, I have to say that the thing that struck me most and deepest was realizing that these wonderful ladies who came together there at the beach, had created such strong bonds and connections well before this. Candice talked about how she and another member, Nicole, who couldn’t join us on retreat, text regularly about books. Pam got to meet Laura on a drive through her area. Hannah F has met so many ladies who visit California. The Houston area girls get together for dinners, rodeos, and sleepovers. Lynn has hosted several ladies who came to her part of Texas, either for a meal or an overnight. We talk about each others’ families like we know them. We ask for updates, because we know what’s going on and we care. We pray for each other, we talk about everything.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “this is such an amazing group” from the members. And it is. I can take no credit for that, other than starting the thing. THEY are the ones who made it work, who opened up, who reached out, who embrace these new friends in the Spirit. They’re the ones who take the time to talk, to text, to meet up, and to travel to get-togethers like this one. They’re the ones who wrap their arms around each other and declare us all a family.

As always, I’m humbled by my awesome “Roseanna Girls,” as Bonnie has dubbed us all. I’m thrilled at the time I got to spend with them. I’m excited for the next retreat, which is already being planned and discussed and debated. I’m grateful for each hug, each word of encouragement, each glimpse of a generous and God-filled heart I received that week.

I never actually take the time to get out my phone and take pictures at these things, but the fabulous Pam lent me some of hers, and we took some group shots before various departures (we missed Cindy and Bethany though, sorry!). So here’s a glimpse of what true fun, true fellowship, true book-loving family looks like. (It’s a slider, so click to advance to the next!)

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Choosing a Word of the Year

Choosing a Word of the Year

by | Oct 5, 2023 | Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays, Throwback Thursdays, Word of the Year

Although we still have 3 months left in 2023. I wanted to re-share this post on HOW to choose a word of the year now. This will hopefully spark ideas and help guide you to choosing a word for 2024. I also wanted to remind you to check in with your word this year. How has it affected your daily life? Have you noticed a shift in focus? Maybe you didn’t choose a word for 2023, it’s not too late! Or maybe you need to update your word for this final season. Whatever the case, I hope you find some useful information here.

Originally posted 12/22/22

For well over a decade, I’ve been doing the “word of the year” thing. In 2021, my word was “Intentional,” and a funny thing happened…I was getting a lot of hits on that post. But not (sadly) because people were so interested in my word. No…people were interested in CHOOSING an intentional word for the year.

For good reason! Choosing an intentional word of the year is not only fun but inspiring and aspirational. So as this old year winds down and a new one is on the horizon, I decided it may be helpful to write a bit about the practice, not just about my word in particular.

What Is an Intentional Word of the Year?

Some people make New Years Resolutions, and that’s great. I’ve done those many years, because there’s something about writing out my goals and decisions that makes me want to stick to them more than a vague “Maybe I’ll…” mental goal. But resolutions aren’t for everyone, and they’re not for every year. Still, as the calendar turns over, many of us want to recognize that this new year is something NEW. We want to set down in writing something to guide us through the twelve months to come. So if we’re not doing resolutions…what do we do?

An alternative- to New Years Resolutions is a Word of the Year. It can also just be an addition to New Years Resolutions, if you want both a set of goals and something to govern them.

In general, an intentional Word of the Year is when you choose a word that is meant to be your inspiration, aspiration, hope, goal, or motivation that will underscore EVERYTHING for you in the year to come. Maybe it’s meant to remind you of your faith or God’s promises. Maybe it’s meant to help you focus. Maybe it’s meant to reassure you throughout the year or inspire you to something greater.

Whatever your particular need or purpose, choosing a Word can help you make decisions, keep your eyes on the proverbial prize, and motivate you to keep going through challenging times.

How to Choose an Intentional Word of the Year?

But once you’ve decided to choose a word of the year, that leaves an important question: HOW?

When I first started out, I had in my head that this word had to be something from God, not something from my own mind. I would start praying about it a week or more in advance, and wait for a word to just hit me.

Sometimes it did—in a song, in my Bible reading, in my prayer, in my daily conversations.

But sometimes…it didn’t. God being silent? My heart not listening? I have no idea. But I did notice that the years I had a Word to guide me were years when I made better choices, when I clung more tightly to His promises, when I kept my focus more on His Kingdom and less on my own little (ahem) empire.

I wanted to have a word. I wanted to have a word every year. And finally I realized that I didn’t have to wait for one to “come to me.”

I could choose a word.

Okay, so I didn’t realize this from my own brilliance, actually. My best friend/critique partner, Stephanie Morrill always chooses a word deliberately. I eventually decided she had the right idea, and instead of waiting for a bolt from the blue, I started being deliberate about my choice.

There are, of course, still many options for how to pick.

Make a List

The first and most obvious way is to simply start making a list. Focus on where you feel you need to work or focus in the year to come, and then jot down different words that fall into that space. For instance, the year I chose “intentional” for my word, I’d started with a list of things I knew needed my attention like: rest, organization, time management, focus on prayer, time with my family.

Once I had a list of things that I wanted to pay attention to, I looked for the through-line and words that could capture that. “Intentional” was a fairly obvious choice for me that time. It was the one word that would govern all those things—I had to be intentional about everything from taking enough breaks to making smart use of my space.

Chances are good that your list from year to year will have a lot of the same themes, but hopefully you’ll be ever growing, so some items will fall off and new ones will come. You’ll also be exiting and entering new seasons of life, and as you do, you’ll find that your list needs to reflect that. Maybe you’ll be balancing a new baby or kids going to school or kids leaving the house; maybe it’ll be sorting through belongings before a big downsize or choosing a new career or finally working on that dream project you’ve been thinking about for years.

Whatever season you’re in, embrace that and make your list—and hence your word choice—reflect it.

Do an Internet Search

Still coming up blank or don’t feel like making a list? You’re in luck! Plenty of people have already done it for you, and you can always do an internet search for lists of good “word of the year” choices and pick one that resonates.

You can search for “word of the year generator” yourself and see if you find a site that aligns with your goals and worldview. Here are a few that turned up in my search.

Jen Fulwiler’s Word of the Year Generator

Mama Smiles Joyful Parenting Word of the Year Generator

Inspire Kinney Chaos Word of the Year Generator

Christian Planner’s Word Generator

Dayspring Word of the Year Quiz

Pray and Listen

If you’re a person of faith, you certainly can use the method I used for years, which was to pray for inspiration for a word and then seek it through that prayer, Scripture reading, church attendance, etc.

As different words resonate with you, write them down and sit with them for a while to see if they really capture something you need to focus on in the year to come. Sometimes a word will hit you so strongly that you just KNOW, and other times you may not be certain at first, so it becomes a matter of which ones sticks with you for a few days.

Once I’ve selected a Word…Then What?

So you’ve figured out which word you want to choose for the year to come. Great! But…now what do you do with it?

I’m a writer, so my first instinct is always WRITE IT DOWN. My bias aside, I think it’s a good instinct. Writing it down—whether on a sticky note, in a notebook, on an index card, in a word processing doc, or in a social media or blog post, will help cement it in your mind and heart and also give you a place to go back to on that day nine months from now when you can’t even remember why you went into the kitchen, much less what word you chose last December or January.

So write it down somewhere and put it in a place where you can’t lose it—if you chose a physical place to write it, tape it somewhere. If digital, bookmark it or put a digital pin in it.

If you’re artsy, considering making a pretty image with the word, which you can display. Or see if you can find a fun notebook or journal with the word on the front, to inspire you throughout the year. If you enjoy journaling or other writing, write a paragraph or a page or a post about why the word resonated and how you hope it will guide you in the year to come.

The idea here is to keep the word present. You want to contemplate this word frequently throughout the year, so either put it somewhere that you’ll see it regularly or consider setting yourself reminders to revisit that will pop up on your calendar. If you’ve written about it, schedule a few times throughout the year to reread what you’ve written—at the end or beginning of a quarter or season is a great time.

Some Intentional Word of the Year Suggestions

Don’t feel like visiting a generator or quiz tool and just want to browse a list? That can be a great way to see quickly what resonates with you or doesn’t! Here’s a list of some suggestions for your intentional Word of the Year:

A-C

Abundance
Accept
Achieve
Act
Action
Adapt
Adoration
Adore
Advance
Adventure
Alive
Allow
Amazing
Ambition
Anchor
Appreciate
Articulate
Ascend
Ask
Attention
Authentic
Available
Awake
Awaken
Aware
Awe
Awesome
Balance
Balanced
Be
Beautiful
Beauty
Begin
Behold
Believe
Belong
Belonging
Beloved
Best
Better
Big
Blessed
Bliss
Bloom
Bold
Boss
Bounce
Boundaries
Bounty
Brave
Breathe
Bridge
Bright
Build
Calm
Capture
Care
Caring
Celebrate
Center
Challenge
Change
Charism
Charisma
Chase
Clear
Comfort
Commit
Committed
Communicate
Compation
Complete
Completion
Compose
Compromise
Confidence
Connect
Connection
Conscious
Consistency
Consistent
Contribute
Courage
Create
Creation
Creative
Creativity
Cultivate

D-G

Dare
Daring
Daughter
Dauntless
Declutter
Decrease
Dedicate
Dedication
Deliberate
Deliberation
Delight
Determination
Determine
Determined
Devote
Devotion
Diligence
Direction
Disciple
Discipleship
Discipline
Dream
Ease
Educate
Education
Elevate
Elevation
Embody
Embrace
Emerge
Encourage
Energy
Enjoy
Enlighten
Enough
Enthusiasm
Environment
Escalate
Examine
Excite
Excitement
Expand
Expansion
Experience
Exploration
Explore
Faith
Faithful
Family
Fast
Favorite
Fearless
Finish
Fitness
Flourish
Flow
Fly
Focus
Forgive
Forgiveness
Forward
Foster
Foundation
Free
Freedom
Friend
Fulfil
Fulfilling
Fun
Future
Generosity
Generous
Gentle
Gently
Give
Glorious
Glow
Go
Goals
Grace
Gracious
Gratitude
Grounded
Grow
Growth

H-N

Habit
Happy
Harmony
Heal
Health
Heart
Here
Higher
Home
Honest
Honesty
Hope
Humble
Humility
Hustle
Imagination
Imagine
Immerse
Improve
Improvement
Increase
Indulge
Inspiration
Inspire
Integrity
Intent
Intention
Intentional
Intimacy
Intimate
Intuition
Journey
Joy
Jump
Kind
Kindness
Laugh
Laughter
Lead
Learn
Less
Life
Light
Linger
Listen
Live
Love
Magic
Magical
Manifest
Meditate
Memories
Mindful
Mindfulness
Moment
More
Mother
Move
Nature
New
No
Now
Nurture

O-R

Observe
Open
Organize
Overcome
Pardon
Partner
Passion
Patience
Pause
Peace
Permission
Persevere
Persist
Perspective
Play
Positivity
Possibilities
Possibility
Possible
Power
Powerful
Practice
Praise
Pray
Presence
Present
Prime
Probable
Progress
Progression
Prosper
Purpose
Question
Quiet
Re-brand
Receive
Reclaim
Reflect
Relax
Release
Renew
Renewal
Reset
Resolve
Respect
Rest
Retreat
Revive
Rise
Rise
Romance

S-U

Satisfaction
Savvy
Seek
Self
Self-care
Self-love
Serene
Serenity
Share
Shift
Shine
Siblings
Simple
Simplify
Sister
Sisterhood
Slow
Small
Smile
Son
Soul
Soulful
Spark
Sparkle
Speak
Spirit
Still
Strength
Strengthen
Stretch
Strive
Success
Support
Surrender
Surroundings
Survive
Teach
Think
This
Thoughtfulness
Thrive
Today
Touch
Tranquil
Tranquility
Transform
Transformation
Travel
Treasure
Trust
Truth
Try
Undaunted
Understand
Unique
Unlimited
Unstoppable

V-Z

Value
Vision
Visionary
Vulnerability
Vulnerable
Wake
Wander
Wellness
Whole
Wholehearted
Why
Wild
Win
Winning
Wisdom
Wise
Wish
Wonder
Work
Worship
Worth
Wow
Yes
Zeal
Zealous
Zest

Some of My Word of the Year Choices

If you’re looking for some context of how and why people choose the words they do and perhaps how they play out through the year, you’re welcome to browse my previous years’ choices, and then the end-of-year reflections upon them.

2022 Word of the Year: Devotion
Reflection of 2022 Word of the Year: Devotion

2021 Word of the Year: Intentional
Reflection on 2021 Word of the Year: Intentional

2019 Word of the Year: Promise
Reflection on 2019 Word of the Year: Promise

2017 Word of the Year: Overcome

2016 Word of the Year: Mine

 

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Professional

Professional

by | Sep 28, 2023 | Thoughtful Thursdays

I’ve held a few jobs in my life. I spent my college years as an “office slave,” as I called it, so I can attest that not all jobs are lifestyles or passions or careers.

Some are one of those things, or two. Some are all of them. And I always knew that, with dreams of being a creative and making a living at it, that’s what it would take. Building a career as a novelist would require passion, and it would be my life. I’m not just a mom or a homeschool teacher who writes on the side. I am a novelist.

The thing with pursuing any work with the kind of determination that leads to it becoming a career is that you drive so hard, so long, that you run the risk of burnout. Worse, you run the risk of losing the passion and seeing only the work. That’s often when creatives step away–sometimes entirely, sometimes just for a season of rest. Or they dial it back. Or they make some other change.

For the past several years, my writing and design income has supported out family–and I’ll be honest, it was extremely satisfying to be able to do that. To say to my husband, “You’ve worked a lot of years in a job you mostly hated so that I would have the freedom to write–pursue your dreams now.”

What I didn’t realize at the time was that my flagging energy wasn’t just from overwhelm, it was from a pituitary tumor literally sapping me of strength and clarity. I worked with it for years, and I worked hard. I was, as my husband put it, in “professional athlete mode.” I trained my creative muscles, I worked them out, I exercised them. I showed up on game day, and I got the job done. It was work I loved, but it was still work. Sometimes it left me dry. Sometimes it left me exhausted. Never ready to give up–never!–always so grateful I got to do this work. But it came with a cost.

Creativity always comes with a cost, which is strange. It drains and it fills. It gives life and it takes life. I like to think of it like a garden. It gives immeasurable peace and satisfaction, it produces a harvest that will fill you and delight you, and tending it can soothe your soul…but you can’t ever stop that tending, or it’s all over. Sometimes the garden doesn’t get enough water and it dries up. Sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes you leave for a week and come back and it’s overrun.

The creative life can be the same way. We need it, we love it, it fills us up…but sometimes it also takes all our spare time and doesn’t seem to give anything back, or our expected successes are snatched away…like when the deer get the fruit and veggies the night before you were going to harvest (yep, we’ve had that happen!).

I’ve written about bits and pieces of this in my  “Let Me Tell You a Story” segment in my newsletter, so you’ve possibly read my thoughts on this before. But they bear repeating, or expounding on if you haven’t seen those.

Creativity is like a garden–it will give, but it also needs to be fed. If you’re feeling dry and burned out, burnt up in the scorching sun of life, then it isn’t necessarily time to pack it in and retire to your air conditioning and just say, “I can’t. I don’t care anymore.” It’s time to refill the well. Let the water overflow. Get back to the first love.

For me, that meant not just focusing on what I had to do–but rather, taking time to just create, when it meant nothing. When there were no deadlines or strings attached. When it’s just fun. I hadn’t done that in…years.

After I shared about it in my newsletter, I heard from people who’d had the same experience with their music, with their art, with teaching. Things they’d begun because they were passionate about them…but over the years, the passion wore away and left them just with the job. There was no joy in it anymore.

So the musician took some time to sing some old favorites just for herself, not for the choir. The artist turned to some sketches just for fun. The teacher put aside lesson plans with demands and remembered her own favorite days in school, what led her to that job, and pondered how to bring that to the kids today.

Rekindling a first love isn’t usually all that difficult…but it does have to be purposeful. It has to be tended with care. Nurtured. Appreciated.

We work hard to be professionals in our fields, to turn our love into our careers. But we also have to remember what brought us here. We have to cling to that seed. We have to take time for the joy of it, not just the job of it.

I’m so blessed to be a professional writer. But one of the most amazing lessons I’ve learned in the past year is that sometimes I need to set aside the professional…and just be a writer.

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