The Health Update

The Health Update

by | Dec 4, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Thoughtful Thursdays

I’m writing this over Thanksgiving weekend. Since Xoe is home, that means I’m back at my desk in the kitchen, where it’s chillier than I’d like in the winter…but where I have a fabulous view out the window. The winter birds are now hopping around–always there, in reality, but so much more visible this time of year when others have migrated away and the trees are bare.

I see the blue jay, big and bold, flitting from one branch of the tree to the other. I see the cardinal, hopping from the roof of our old Jeep to a bush. Flashes of color in a world gone brown, frosted with white. I’m not, generally speaking, a fan of winter. But there’s such beauty in it–in glimpses, if not in a riot.

Chances are good that you’ve already seen my update on social media or in my newsletter, if you’re following my journey in real time. But I know some might have missed it and others only follow my blog, and still others are likely to find it later, when they come here searching for things as they put their foot to their own journey…so I’m writing it here too.

It was cancer. The tumor they cut out of my brain a few weeks ago–it was cancer and, not surprisingly, the same cancer I had before. HER2+ breast cancer, metastasized to the brain.

Now, this obviously isn’t the news we were praying for. But it was the news I was braced for. When the surgeon said that’s what it looked like to him, I kinda sighed and mentally said to myself, “Okay. He could still be wrong, but…okay. We’ll go from here.”

There must have been some confusion as to who would call me with this news, because no one did, in the 2.5 weeks between when the tissue went off to be tested and when I came back for more appointments and consultations. I know my family were chomping at the bit, but honestly…I was okay not having that news hanging over me when I went to Colorado to hang out with my Patrons & Peers girls and see the ballet production of Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor. (I’ll be telling you ALL about this soon!) We got back on Monday, November 24, and on Tuesday, November 25, we headed back up the road to Morgantown, for a CT scan, a Gamma Knife consultation, and a follow-up with my neurosurgeon.

When we sat down with the physician assistant in advance of the doctor coming in and she said, “So you know the pathology now” and we said, “Um, no, actually,” she looked genuinely shocked and taken aback. And quickly gave the news everyone had been dreading. “It was cancer, consistent with the HER2+ breast cancer you had last year.”

On the surface, this is bad news. Obviously we’d have preferred it be something benign. But amidst that bad, amidst that brown of winter, there are plenty of glimpses of color.

It was one tiny, isolated spot, now removed. Usually when they see metastasis in the brain, it’s a lot of spots, everywhere. Usually, it’s come through the lymph nodes and is elsewhere in the body. Usually, they Gamma Knife them away, yes, but also start talking about palliative care.

This isn’t the usual case.

Thanks to that routine MRI, we found it super early, and it was isolated. It’s not in the lymph nodes (which means it had to have traveled to the brain last year, when it was in the lymph nodes, and just wasn’t fully wiped out by chemo in 2024. It must have been one or a couple cancer cells that multiplied after treatment stopped). It’s, now, nowhere. 

The PA referred to it as oligometastasis, which means a very limited spread of the disease. It also means it’s treated very aggressively, with the goal of eradication. (This is not true of widespread metastatic disease, where the goal is prolonging life and keeping it in check but not elimination.) This is GOOD NEWS. As my oncologist put it on Wednesday, “There is so much to be thankful for here. Right now, we have no evidence of cancer in your body. That means it’s tricky, in a way–because we’re going to be trying to measure a disease that isn’t there. But that’s good!”

Right now, the plan is as follows. On December 11, I’ll go in for Gamma Knife radiation. This is a super-targeted dose of gamma radiation pinpointed to the spot where the tumor had been. The goal here is to take care of any tiny little cancer cells that didn’t come out with the tumor itself during surgery. The only side effects of this kind of treatment are some tiredness that day from the twilight sedation they use to keep me still, and maybe a headache from the frame they use for the same purpose. No biggie. I’ll be back up and operational next day, and it’s an in-and-out sort of thing, like other radiation treatments. Despite the word “knife” in there, there are no knives involved. 😉 That’s just used to indicate how precise it is. A radiation scalpel.

The following Wednesday, December 17, I’ll head back to the cancer center to start my blocker treatments. These are similar to what I had after surgery last year, aimed at specifically blocking the HER2-protein that feeds this cancer. They refer to it simply as in-Her2. (Way shorter than its technical name, LOL.) There are possible side effects, ranging from nausea/diarrhea to hair thinning to a rare lung disease, but I’m hopeful that since I responded so well to that previous treatment (with NO side effects at all), that it will be similar for me with these.

If this were widespread metastatic disease, these treatments would be forever. But when my oncologist came in last Wednesday, he said with a big smile on his face, “Oh, no! Not in your case, not necessarily. We’ll do it for a year or two and reevaluate. You might be able to stop. We don’t want to treat you forever for a disease you don’t still have.”

This is where the tricky part comes in–how do you measure what’s not there? And I am praying for that kind of tricky, LOL! That it won’t come back.

From a storytelling perspective, this makes perfect sense. That God made a way for us to catch it early, so that we could take care of it. So that I could have many more years with my family. So that I could have many years to write many more stories. So that I can have the opportunity to grow old with those I love.

Will my life be that story? I obviously don’t know. But I feel like that’s the way things will go. (I am keenly aware that feelings do not dictate reality, LOL, but that’s the bone-deep peace I have right now, anyway.) I will do what I can, medically speaking, to destroy and block this cancer. And I will walk forward, confident that there’s still a lot of life yet to live. I will sign book contracts. I will write others’ stories. I will savor each moment with my kids, my husband, my parents, my grandparents, my sister, my friends.

And I will thank God for that pituitary tumor that necessitated the MRI.

Which is funny, right? When I got the news about that tumor in 2022, I was dumbfounded. Terrified. Even knowing it was benign, I also knew how it was affecting me, and it knocked me for a loop. It felt…so…big. Everything felt so uncertain. I hated that tiny little microadinoma, hated what it had done to me, hated all the questions it made me ask.

Now? Now, I think about that tiny little growth on my pituitary gland and realize it may have saved my life. This tumor they just removed was asymptomatic–too small for me to see any effect from. They don’t do routine brain MRIs to check for cancer spread, not unless you have symptoms to call attention to something. The fact that I even had a brain MRI…the fact that I had it at that precise time, when the tumor was just big enough to be picked up, not big enough to cause symptoms…some would call that good luck, good fortune, an amazing coincidence. I call that the timing of a loving Father God.

Even so, I can grant that this has changed me…and I dare to hope and pray it’s changed me for the better. I’ve certainly noticed that tears are closer to the surface. Usually, I’m a cry-twice-a-year kind of girl. Now I’m swiping at my eyes every few days. And you know what? That’s okay. Because it means it’s easier to weep with those who are weeping. Easier to mourn with the mourning. Easier to appreciate each gift of a day.

On Thanksgiving last week, we went to my sister’s, along with everyone else in the extended family (or so it seemed, LOL). Her house was bursting at the seems. Some years, my dad asks everyone to say something they’re thankful for. This year, he joked that if he did that, we’d be standing there until it was time for dessert. But I had my gratitude there, in my heart and in my hands. And he said, “But while I have the floor, I’m going to say something.”

And he looked over at me, this man I’m so like. And his eyes were glassy, and mine went glassy too. I can’t see my dad cry and not cry with him, it’s just impossible. I’m weepy now just remembering it. I knew, obviously, he’d be saying something about the trials of the last six weeks and how God was getting us through them. I just didn’t know what, in particular, he would say. Know what he did?

“I’m so thankful for my daughter’s rock-solid faith. I’m so thankful that, all these things she’s gone through, and she not only hasn’t faltered for a moment, but she’s there inspiring so many other people.”

Cue me wiping at my eyes.

Next week, I’m going to be musing about these things we suffer and whether they’re God’s will. About my emotional reaction when people say this disease (any disease) isn’t from God, and that we need to claim healing. I don’t want to steal all I’ve already written for that one. 😉 But I will say this, here.

Cancer has given me a view of life I didn’t have before. Cancer has shown me how precious it is. Cancer has opened me up to depths I hadn’t known before. Cancer has drawn me not only closer to God but closer to you.

I guess technically, I’m officially in Stage 4 Cancer…without any cancer left in my body. It’s a funny thing. And in the back of my mind these last six weeks, I’ve wondered what I might write about this new perspective, maybe for a book someday. It wouldn’t just be about inspiration to get through your own sufferings.

It would be about the view of life from where I’m now standing. The View from the Stage, this Stage 4 I prayed so fervently to avoid. I’m not sure yet of the subtitle. Something about living boldly? That’s not quite right. Embracing life? That’s closer. Regardless, something about the lessons we learn from a place of suffering, whether it’s from chronic or terminal or acute illness.

I didn’t want to stand here–no one ever does. But so many of us end up on this stage, looking out over our lives, looking out at the crowds around us–some still healthy, some suffering too. We end up looking forward to what could be our end. Sometimes it’s closer than we thought, sometimes it’s still decades away. But we catch that glimpse of it. And it changes us.

It can make people frightened. It can make them bitter. It can make them tired, oh so tired. Sometimes we see the long path ahead and dread those long, aching steps.

Sometimes we see it, and instead decide to treasure each step we get to travel. Because the winter is always going to be brown and cold–that’s its definition. 

It doesn’t mean we have to focus on the color that’s missing. We can still focus on the color that’s there, flitting from branch to branch. Those flashes of red and blue as the birds dance about, unhindered by the cold. We can still cling to the beauty, treasuring it even more when it’s glimpses instead of a riot.

This isn’t my end. The road ahead of me is still stretching out for years, I believe that. But I’m also not going to relinquish the view I’ve found here on the stage. I’m going to treasure every moment of beauty. I’m going to listen for every birdsong. I’m going to let the tears come, and I’m going to smile through them.

And I’m going to remain, always, so, so thankful. Because I’m not standing here alone. I’m surrounded by those I love. I’m joined by others on their own journeys through suffering and trial and challenge. And most of all, I know that this stage isn’t an unmoored, floating thing. It’s in the Father’s hand. And that’s exactly where I want to be.

Give Thanks in…

Give Thanks in…

by | Nov 27, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Thoughtful Thursdays

When the sun shines bright and warms me,
When the wind is gentle on my face,
When the world is awash in Your splendor…
I give You thanks, O Lord.

When thunder shakes my world,
When the waters rise and overwhelm me,
When the winds shake my foundations…
I give You thanks, my Savior.

When joy fills my heart each morning,
When my arms are filled with embraces,
When songs burst from my lips…
I give You thanks, my God.

When tears are always burning my eyes,
When my arms are empty and grieving,
When sobs wrack my frame…
I give You thanks, my Sustainer.

For when the sun shines bright,
I get a glimpse of Your face.

When the darkness rolls over me,
I know it’s Your hand, providing shelter.

When I see what You have given me,
I rejoice in Your kindness.

And when I feel the pang of lack,
I know it’s a new opportunity for You to surprise me.

Lord, I praise You.
That in my pain,
You have a purpose.
That in my heartache,
You’re writing a new song.
That in my weakness,
Your strength shines.
That in my joy,
Your Son is reflected.

No matter the circumstances,
Today and every day,
I will thank You.

Because though those things around me change,
You do not.

You are so, so good.
So, so able.
So, so faithful.

You are Love.
And I am blessed to be Your child.

Strange Timing

Strange Timing

by | Nov 20, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Fantasy, Thoughtful Thursdays

Sometimes, God’s timing just leaves me astounded. Even when it’s something that, to most, would seem small. I had one of those moments in my writing world just after getting that call about the lesion on my brain, and I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you about it. To tell about how God provided exactly the outlet I needed…and more besides.

Princess Iraja from Amazed
Awakened Book 3

Allow me to introduce Iraja. If you’ve read Awakened, then at the end you may recall a baby named Bleu. Well, 150-some-odd years in the future (keeping in mind that my magically Awakened people in this series are very long-lived), Iraja is Bleu’s wife of 34 years. (If you have not read Awakened, the point of this introduction has nothing to do with that story world and everything to do with my life. Bear with me, LOL.)

Several weeks ago, as I was diving into book 3 of this fantasy world, Amazed, I was debating which points-of-view I wanted to include. I knew that obviously I would have my heroine, Aziza. I knew I would have the king of Ellas, Stefanos. I knew I would have her hometown would-be sweetheart, Galenos. And I knew I needed one more, a POV to represent another part of the world. I’d already decided Prince Bleu and Iraja would be in Ellas during the story.

I’d also already decided that Iraja was dying. Oh, I created a fictional, fantasy disease for the purpose, linked to the oddities of this world. Nothing real. But it was fatal. It had to be, for the purposes of my plot. This isn’t a spoiler—they know it when the story starts, know she has only months left to live. So I was debating which of them would be the more poignant POV—the one about to lose her life or the one about to lose his wife.

I shared the debate with my husband and my P&P ladies, and ultimately I decided to go with Iraja’s perspective, largely because that kept a balance of two male and two female POVs in the book. Happy with that, I started the story.

Prince Bleu from Amazed
Awakened Book 3

Then came that phone call you’ve all heard about by now. The one that said I might have Stage 4 cancer. For weeks, I sat in a place of not-knowing. First, I didn’t even know if I was riddled with the stuff again. They thought it likely it was in my lymph nodes. It could have been in my bones. It could have been everywhere. (It’s not, but I didn’t know that yet.) As David and I drove home from that oncology appointment, where my doctor talked to me about palliative care, assuming this was what the tests would reveal to be necessary, I said, a bit stunned, “This could be the thing I’m going to die of.” And I wrestled with the reality that is always true but just became more true. My days are numbered. They always are, yes, but then I felt it.

And this was when I opened up my document and realized that the next chapter would be Iraja’s first POV. And friends, though I am not a crier and certainly not when working, tears stung my eyes. For one moment, just one, I hesitated. Did I really want to write this now? This? A woman struggling with her own mortality and how to say goodbye to her family?

Then I realized that, yes, I did. More—I had to. I realized that, first, when I decided a week before to make her my fourth POV character, God had nudged me toward an outlet. A way to work through and express my thoughts, my feelings. My fears and dreams. To wrestle with what I might leave undone and what I desperately wanted to do. To remind myself that even now, He should be praised. Even now, especially now, I need to embody love above all, as Iraja does. And I also realized, even after those tests proved that whatever is going on, I do not have cancer all through my body and am probably not dying any more quickly than usual (LOL), that He provided a way for me to have an insight into this woman that I otherwise would not have had. Which seems trivial. Silly.

But it’s not, not to me. It’s critical. Crucial. Because I know very well that there will be readers facing down their own struggles, their own life-altering diagnoses when they pick up this book in the future and think to escape their own world into one completely fabricated. And I want to give them a point of connection…and hope. I want to help them fasten their eyes on the Lord, as writing it helped me to do.

I was hesitant to mention this coincidence of timing to David—because while I was at peace with all this, it was harder for him. Which, again, reminded me of Iraja and Bleu and how I’d already decided they would be. Iraja, who had always known her Awakened husband would outlive her, who would stay young while she grew old; who had wanted decades more with him but trusts that even this is part of God’s plan for her life.

And Bleu, who is breaking. Bleu, who loves her so deeply and can’t imagine what life is going to look like without her. Bleu, who knows he likely has centuries left to live, and they look like a barren wasteland spreading before him without the woman he loves.

Over the last few weeks, there have been so many times when my precious husband pulled me close, rested his head against mine, and said, “You have to be okay. I can’t do this without you.” In those early days, all I could do was hold him. All I could do was promise, “If it’s Stage 4 cancer, then I’ll just set some records, right? On how long I can survive on these meds. I’m not giving up, honey. I’ll fight. I intend to have years and years left. We’ll get to our fiftieth.” And he’d bargain, “Seventieth. No—seventy more. We’re both going to live to be over a hundred.”

Over the last few weeks, every time I open up that document on my computer, I’m amazed (ha! Title of the book…) anew at how even this, this small, tiny, inconsequential thing, was planned so perfectly by the Father. Even this, He helped me set up in advance so that my heart would be more peaceful and my story richer.

Every time I write Iraja into a scene, whether it’s her POV or someone else’s, I see this woman choosing life even as she’s dying, choosing love even as she’s spending her last months on enemy soil, choosing faith even as her dreams are cut short…and I realize that’s who I want to be, whether I have a year or a decade or a century left to live. I want to be the person who embraces her enemy and sees in him a friend—and so, makes him one. I want to be the person who cries her tears and then fastens on her smile. I want to be the person who will change the tides of a story—not by sheer brute force, like her magical husband can do with the literal tides in this fantasy world. But by the power of her love.

So here’s Iraja. A princess-by-marriage in a fantasy kingdom, so very much unlike you and me in our real, humble world. But also very much like us—a child of the King of kings. Beloved of the Father. Chosen by our family. A woman who makes a difference not with power but with acceptance, with love, with a determination to see in others what God sees in them. Iraja is who I want to be.

Here’s Iraja, whose perspective helped me understand my own, as I stared one possible end in the eyes. 

I pray that, someday, when you read her POV, she’ll minister to you as she did to me. And you’ll remember that even in the small, tiny, inconsequential things, God’s hand is always at work.

In His Hand

In His Hand

by | Nov 13, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Thoughtful Thursdays

A few weeks ago, as I was in that season of waiting to learn whether cancer had spread once again through my body, I had the simplest, most beautiful realization.

I’d been thinking a lot about how when rest in Him, we’re cradled in His hands. There’s such comfort in that, right? Such peace. Perhaps, if you’re a visual thinker, you imagine a parent cradling a newborn baby. Or perhaps even an artistic image of you as you are right now, full grown, cradled in an immense palm capable of supporting the whole earth.

Before, whenever I’ve considered the phrase “in His hand,” that image of rest is what I focused on. That the Lord’s palm is a place for respite. A place of refuge. I’ve also frequently thought of Him raising the other up around me to shield, to guard, to protect.

There is, I think, a deep spiritual truth to those metaphors. We do rest in Him. He is our shield, our protector, our salvation.

But as I shared my health updates and began answering the hundreds upon hundreds of emails and comments (each one a blessing—thank you!), as others opened up about their own struggles, I felt that stirring deep in my chest. The same one I noticed last year, when this same thing happened. I remember thinking, back in spring of 2024, that this was a blessing I’d never considered—that when I am open and vulnerable about my health struggles, it invites you to be open and vulnerable with me in turn about yours. And I then have the privilege of praying for and with you, of writing down your name. Of knowing I am not alone and getting to assure you that you are not alone either.

It didn’t take long for that same realization to wash over me this time, with the brain tumor looming. But as I was reflecting on all the unexpected blessings of those weeks of not-knowing, of waiting, of facing down fears once again, I was first thinking, “Thank you, Lord, for holding me in Your hand.” And then, when I considered this gift He’d given me of getting to reassure others of His love and provision, it hit me.

When we are in His hand, safe and secure, we are not just resting. Not JUST resting. We are working too, for His glory. We are being used. We are, as I’ve always prayed I would be, a tool in His hand.

In our modern lingo, being “a tool” isn’t usually a compliment, LOL. But let’s actually take a look at why we use it that  way (yes, I just went and looked up the etymology—I am me, after all. ?)  By the 1660s, if one person was using another as a means to an end or for their own purpose, without care for that person, said person was called a tool of the other. So by 1700, calling someone “a tool” meant that they were useless or shiftless—which is to say, they had no self-directed purpose, so could only be used by others.

Not a great character trait in human terms, no. But it takes on whole new meaning, doesn’t it, when we consider the Master’s hands? Those hands created everything that has been created. Those hands fashioned our world. Those hands shaped mankind, preparing our form for the Breath of Life. Those hands were born into this world as a baby. Those hands hugged His mother, His earthly father. Those hands learned how to shape wood as humanity had to do it, how to lift and help and soothe.

Those hands lifted in blessing, and when the bread was broken, it multiplied instead of dividing. Those hands commissioned apostles who could go and do His work. Those hands touched the sick, and sickness fled. Those hands raised the dead. Those hands calmed the storm. Those hands accepted nails through them, so that He could offer us life eternal.

To be a tool in those hands is no insult. To be a tool in those hands is to receive the gift of co-creating with Him. 

When we are tools in His hand, He uses us to shape the world, to shape each other. He uses us to embrace those who need comfort. He uses us to build, to lift up, to soothe.

He uses us to multiply His love instead of divide. He uses us to spread His gospel and share His gift of salvation. He uses us to heal. Us to bring life. Us to calm the storms around us.

He uses us, in our suffering. He invites us to give it to Him, to join it to His. Because His suffering changed the world, friends, and keeps on changing it. So when we give ours to Him, when we put ourselves into His hands, when we say, “Take it. Take all of it. Take all of me,” we aren’t just saying, “Keep me and protect me and shelter me while I rest.” Not just that.

We’re also saying, “Use me, Father. Use me as a chisel, to chip away what doesn’t belong. Use me as a lathe, to smooth and soothe. Use me as a hammer, to drive home the Truth of your love and secure that truth in the hearts who need to hear it. Use me as a square to help others align with you. Use me…use me. Even now, when I ache, use me. Even now, when I am uncertain, use me. Even now, when all I want to do is fasten my eyes on you, use me to show others where to look too.”

I have seen others, shining His light in their darkest moments—I’m sure you have too. And I will never look at them the same again. Because now, whenever I see our own human weakness, I will see His strength anew. Now, whenever I hear human lips say, “I can’t,” I’ll think, “You don’t have to do. You just have to be. Be in His hand, and He will use you.”

Because ours is not a God of not-doing. He is not a God of laziness. His Creation is ongoing. His making is eternal. His love is an active, consuming, multiplying thing. By His nature, “I Am” is not just a statement of being but of action. He is the God of Abraham, who called him forth from among the nations. He is the God of Jacob, who led them out of slavery and into the Promise. He is Christ, the Son of God, who came to earth to save us.

And He always, always uses us in that plan. He always uses men and women to accomplish His will. We are His tools. And it is no insult.

It is the most amazing thing in the world. To know that, in His hands, we always have purpose. We can trust that even when we’re curled up in His palm, desperate for rest, we are not useless. He is still using us. Even when we can’t see how, we can trust that He is at work.

We can rest in Him…but He is never at rest. He is always moving. And, praise God for His goodness, He carries us with Him as He goes, as He works.

And perhaps, really, that is true rest—knowing that we can always have purpose in Him, even when all we can do is say, “Take me. Hold me. I am yours.”

The Blessing of Waiting

The Blessing of Waiting

by | Oct 30, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Thoughtful Thursdays

Waiting is the hardest part.

Two weeks ago, as I shared my prayer request about the tumor found in my brain and the blood work to tell us whether or not it’s cancer that took 7-10 days, that was a common sentiment. A true sentiment. A sentiment that anyone who has ever had to wait for test results absolutely understands, am I right?

Waiting is, without question, the hardest part. The not knowing. How up in the air everything is. All the questions that you don’t have answers to–and all the questions you don’t even know yet to ask.

There are too many possibilities. Too many unknowns. Too many uncertainties.

I joked, during that week, that I had “Schrodinger’s tumor.” For those days of not-knowing, it both was and was not cancer. It both was and was not life-changing. 

Waiting is hard. But you know what? As I sat in that uncertainty, as I explored both best and worst case scenarios–it could be nothing, it could change nothing…it could be cancer, it could dictate what I do for the rest of my life–I realized something that’s going to sound weird.

Waiting is such a blessing.

Have you ever studied how God talks about waiting in the Bible? It came up many years ago in a study we were doing with some friends, and though I’m too lazy right now to go look up the book, LOL, I remember a few specifics that stuck with me. Namely, that when God talks about waiting, He talks about it in terms of agriculture. We wait on God like a farmer waits for fields to rest or for seeds to sprout. We wait as for a harvest.

Our waiting isn’t meant to be just staring out at fallow ground or a frozen tundra where there’s no hope of life visiting the soil again. That’s not it at all. We wait with expectation. We wait knowing that God is at work. We wait trusting that there are things happening that we can’t see. And do you know what else we do when we wait?

We rest. We rest in Him.

My grandparents own a farm, and while I’ve never taken an active part in it, I certainly picked up on a few truths. Winter–that time of waiting–is a beloved time on a farm. Because it’s when you can sleep past dawn and come in before dusk. It’s when you don’t have to be out in the fields or manning the shed all day. It’s when you can travel. It’s when you can read. It’s when you can unwind and kick your feet up. The dormancy of a waiting period is what makes it precious.

But only if we choose it, right? If we spend those periods of waiting in high anxiety, we’re not going to emerge into the period of action in good condition. And obviously, we can’t always control our reactions to things. We get stressed. We get depressed. We get anxious. To a certain degree, we can take control of those reactions, but to a certain degree we can’t. Sometimes our bodies react in ways that we can’t consciously do much about.

Funny thing, though, in that recent period of waiting for me. I had other blood work done, too, to check up on my pituitary, since I do still have the benign tumor on it. My endo ordered a cortisol test, because it’s one of hormones the pituitary regulates. If the levels are too high or too low, that can indicate an issue with the gland–a physiological thing well beyond our control. But cortisol is the stress hormone, which means levels can also be high when you’re, well, stressed. As in, emotionally.

I took this test the day after my unexpected visit to oncology, when my doctors went through the two scenarios: (1) it could be nothing, in which case we cancel all the prep we’re about to do or (2) it could be Stage 4 cancer, and I’ll be on treatment for the rest of my life. I was one day into that 7-10 day waiting period on the liquid biopsy to tell me if I had cancer in my brain. 

When the cortisol test results came back on Friday of that week, I reported to my husband, “The level was perfect! Toward the lower end of the normal range.” And he just stared at me and said, “Seriously? This week, and your stress hormone levels are normal? You are a freak of nature.” 

?

I can’t argue with that! But I also kinda loved having the proof that my body agreed with me on being as okay as I kept insisting I was. 😉 Because here’s the thing–I don’t like waiting. But I needed it. I needed it to wrestle with what life means and what I’m doing with mine. I needed it to remember that I’m held in God’s mighty hand, safe and secure no matter what the result of a test. I needed it to work through possibilities. 

I needed that time for God to work in me.

Every time a doctor has given me bad news, they’ve asked me the same question: “How are you feeling right now? What are your thoughts?”

I’ll admit it. In the moment, my answer is always, “I don’t know yet. I’ll get back to you on that.” LOL. I’m not an off-the-cuff feeler. I have to work through things. Digest them. I get this from my dad, and I bet I look just like he does as he digests information or news, sitting there with a thoughtful, quiet look on his face, perfectly content to say not a word as he processes. Yep. That’s me. Just let me process, then I’ll wrestle with the feelings.

Then they come. In my case, on that Monday when my endo said, “The scan found a tumor in your right cerebellum,” I walked out into the living room of the office where David was packing up books and I told him the news. He stood up, incredulity and fear on his face, and wrapped his arms around me. And I cried. I’m not usually a process-through-tears person, but this time, I cried. Several other times that day, I cried. I needed to.

Fields need to be watered, after all. 

As I took a shower that afternoon, I let the sobs wrack me and I cried out to God, “I don’t want to do this again, Lord! I don’t!” I didn’t hear a still, small voice. I didn’t have to. As I dried off and got dressed again, I remembered a T-shirt I had as a teen that said, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.” That saying just kept circling through my mind, and I grabbed hold of it.

And in the week that followed, I waited. I waited like a farmer as God prepared the soil of my life. I waited for answers, but it wasn’t a frozen, lifeless wait. It was a wait filled with prayer. It was a wait filled with community. It was a wait filled with reaching out in vulnerability and having encouragement and love poured over me.

And I felt…so…blessed. Blessed to be part of the Family of God. Blessed to know that literally thousands of people all around the world were praying for me. Blessed to know that whatever the answer, I am loved. I am chosen. I am worthy. I am a light-bearer. I am a Daughter of the King. I am equipped by Him to do the work He called me to do, in every moment I have to do it.

I worked through the scenarios, praying it would turn out to be good and not bad. Health and not cancer. And I knew that even if it was the worst, that wasn’t going to stop me. 

Because I still have work to do. I still have stories to tell. I still have family to love and milestones to see. And above all–I still have His glory to help reflect upon the world. 

And I realized, as I pondered the question of “What if I only have a few more years to live?” that that, too, is a blessing. Because first, we all only ever have “a few more years to live,” realistically speaking. Anything, at any moment, could be our end, and our lives are but a blip in the world anyway. But ignoring the very-true fact that “the end” is really “the beginning” of eternity with the Father, even that time that suddenly feels finite is a blessing. Because it’s a realization of what is ALWAYS true.

That we need to live each day with purpose. We need to treasure every hour. We need to dedicate each week, each month, each year we have left to Him, to what He wants us to do. We need to travel our paths with intentionality and a determination to show as much love to as many people as we possibly can.

This was the fruit of my waiting. Soaking up every email–and there were hundreds, friends, thank you–of encouragement and assurance and responding with heartfelt gratitude. Resting in a place of prayer and trust. Looking out at an always-uncertain future and seeing in that uncertainty the Lord at work in the soil. Basking in the silence of a still heart, a still mind, a still soul that is waiting for, waiting on Him.

Because the Lord will move. Seeds will unfurl their first sprouts and shove up through that soil. Springtime will come, and summer, and harvest. These periods of waiting aren’t for nothing. They’re for preparing us. Preparing us for the next season of work for Him.

Wait with expectation, my friends. Because He has good, good things in store, no matter what news we receive. He is there in the tempest. He is there in the fire. He is there in the earthquake. And He is there in the whisper.

Wait on Him, with Him, in Him. And then there is blessing inside the waiting.

43 Things

43 Things

by | Aug 14, 2025 | Cancer Journey, Holidays, Thoughtful Thursdays

If you’ve been hanging out here long with me, you’ll know that every year on my birthday, I’ve taken to writing a list of the corresponding number of “things” from the year I just completed that have really shaped me. Sometimes it’s silly products I discovered. Sometimes it’s things I love. Sometimes it’s things I hate. New habits. Discoveries. Achievements.

Most years, I start this list a month or two ahead of my birthday, because putting it together takes a lot of work, y’all. This year, I gave myself two whole weeks. Ahem. Let’s just say it’s been busy around here! But I love looking back over my last year, looking ahead into the year to come, and seeing what really stands out. So I hope you enjoy this little peek into the 43 things that have most shaped me this year too!

1. The End of Chemo!

My last chemo treatment was August 26, 2024, just 12 days after my birthday last year. And boy, was I happy to celebrate that milestone! I had what’s called a “total response” to the chemotherapy, which means that no cancer could be found when they went in for surgery. Big, big praise! I am SO grateful for this life-saving medicine…and also hated every minute of it, LOL. Chemo left me feeling sick for 3-4 months straight, so finishing it definitely deserved the chocolate cake I ate! 😉

2. Compression Socks

Go figure, it was AFTER I’d finished the last round of chemo that I began to retain water. Swollen ankles, painful legs…great fun. And of course, this hit right as I was scheduled to go to Kansas for a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie. So what’s a girl to do but buy some cute Pacas compression socks?

3. KC Writing Retreat

Three weeks after the end of chemo, I was in Kansas, having a writing retreat with my best friend, Stephanie! We weren’t sure at first if it would work out, but my oncologist told me, “Go!” So I went. And despite swollen legs and ankles, it was so great to get to spend a week with Stephanie, take walks, and focus on writing. I wrote A Likely Story for Guideposts while I was there, which just released!

4. SJC 20th Anniversary Homecoming!

I’m still not sure how it happened. Twenty years? Seriously? I’ve been out of college for twenty years? Apparently so, because as soon as I got home from Kansas, we were heading to Annapolis for Homecoming, celebrating those 20 years with some of our classmates and friends. It was pretty cool to get to be there for this while our daughter’s attending.

Unfortunately, I’d picked up a bug while traveling and was sick the whole weekend. =/ Low-grade fever, sore throat, basically feeling icky and miserable. On the bright side, the fever never got high enough for me to report to the ER (I still had orders to do so if I had a fever over 100.4), and it proved that my immune system was working, LOL.

5. Bilateral Mastectomy

It was a crazy couple weeks. I went from Kansas to Homecoming to surgery two weeks later, and I was very grateful that the bug I’d picked up had worked its way out so we didn’t have to postpone the big surgery.

I blogged at the time about why I was choosing a bilateral (double) mastectomy, and I’m glad I made the choices I did. Even so, it wasn’t what one would call easy. I had a lot of swelling and wasn’t allowed to unwrap my chest for a week. Had to deal with drains, sleep sitting up…several nights I ended up in our cushy leather chair rather than bed. I also discovered that I don’t do well with the meds they gave me. Made me itchy!

Recovery was officially 8 weeks, and though I was back to “normal” routine well before then, it was still uncomfortable at that point. Tissue expanders are not fun!

6. The Me I See

Having that mastectomy led me to muse on my self-image. Looking back on that post now, I can not only nod along but smile to realize that, months later, my self-image is still content. I am the me I chose to be. I am the me who is victorious over cancer. This me is a warrior, and I’ll wear my battle scars with pride.

7. Regrowing!

Hair. I missed my hair, I won’t lie, LOL. And I just wasn’t one of those people who went around in all my bald glory, because I was constantly cold if I did that. But as soon as the hair started regrowing, I was always HOT if I had anything on my head! I’ll be honest–it hasn’t grown as quickly as I’d like and as I’d hoped, LOL. But it came back thick and pretty much exactly like it was before, so yay! At this point, I’m just glad it looks like an intentional style. 😉

8. The Florida Keys

We didn’t get a family vacation last summer, so we decided to take one during Christmas break instead. Of course, we had to go pretty far south to guarantee warm weather in December…so we did. We went ALL the way south! It was our first trip to the Florida Keys, and while it’s not going to become an annual tradition (21 hours of driving), we’re so glad we went! We rented an oceanfront condo, and it was RIGHT on the beach. Such fun!

9. Pelicans

Okay, so the ocean was WAY too calm, LOL. We’re used to Outer Banks of North Carolina waves, and this was like a mill pond! But one thing we LOVED was that we got to watch the pelicans all day. Here’s a video I took one morning (our Morning Prayer app is playing in the background, LOL). So crazy to be able to hear the flapping of their wings against the water!

10. Tropical Christmas

We were in Florida until Dec 21, so naturally, it was full-on Christmas down there. Which was…weird, LOL. To us, it felt like summer vacation. But there we were, in the last full week of Advent. Seeing all the tropical Christmas decorations. It was definitely something that made us smile and laugh!

11. Prayer Garden

At the church near where we stayed in the Keys, they had a gorgeous prayer garden, which was all lit up for Christmas. We went over one evening and enjoyed a beautiful, peaceful hour meandering through all the little alcoves and areas. Photos can never do justice to light displays, but it was quite a sight!

12. ECPA Double Time

Kinda random place to put this one, but not only did I make the ECPA Bestseller list with BOTH of my end-of-year releases, but they were on the list for the same month! That’s definitely a first for me! Both Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor and An Honorable Deception were bestsellers in November 2024!

13. Savannah

On the way home from Florida, we took two nights in Savannah. Though I’d written a book set there, I’d never been in real life, and I had no idea if I would actually like it or not–I’m not a big city person. But oh my gracious! We fell in love! From the gorgeous basilica where we got to celebrate the last Sunday of Advent to the beauty of Forsythe Park decked out for Christmas, we were hooked! We stayed in a historic house right downtown, and it was just delightful. Mostly. Except…

14. Pillow Topper

Worst. Bed. Ever. At the AirBnB in Savannah, I mean. I was about 8 weeks post-op at this point, and the bed was so firm that I literally woke up each night near tears, it hurt so badly. At which point I confessed that our own bed at home was also too firm for me these days, which inspired my darling husband to find a pillow topper while we were still in Savannah, which arrived home right as we did. That first night back in our own bed with that new topper was AMAZING. Best. Bed. Ever. LOL.

15. Books for Christmas

My wishlist was pretty much books. Just books. All books, LOL. So David decided to get them ALL for me. There’s also a box set that didn’t make it into that picture for some reason, but it ended up being 12 books plus that boxset. I’d love to say “a book a month!” but let’s be real here. I’ve already read most of them…and their sequels. Ahem. Because of course he mostly got me first in series, so… (And also pictured here are books I got HIM, hence the number not being what I just claimed. If you cared to count, LOL.) It was a very bookish Christmas! Totally appropriate, as I then launched into writing The Christmas Book Flood. =D

16. Monk Manual

Last year, I got David a planner called the Monk Manual, which he really liked. This year, they came out with a new version that includes calendar spreads, so we both got one. I’ve been using it all year, and though there are things I’d tweak, there is so much I LOVE about this beautiful planner! There are spreads for each month, then weekly planning pages, then weekly reflection pages. The idea behind it is intentionality, gratitude, and reflection. So it’s not just about writing down your to-do list, but also reflecting on how each week went, what you’d like to change or improve, what you’re grateful for…basicaly, incorporating devotional techniques into your planning.

17. Radiation

I needed 15 radiation therapy treatments, which began the day after Christmas and stretched into January, five days a week minus New Year’s Day. As courses of treatment go, this was pretty much bare minimum, and I didn’t have crazy side effects. A bit of a rash (which may have been itchy had it not been where I have no more nerves thanks to surgery, so hey, that worked out! LOL), what looked like a mild sunburn and some discomfort, and the tiredness hit about a week after I finished. Not too bad though! It definitely, however, made me aware of how difficult it often is for those who require more treatments. Mine stopped before things got too burned, but if I’d been one of the people with 30 treatments, it would have been a far different story.

18. Oh My SNOW!

The worst part about radiation in January? Driving through the mountains to get to the hospital! The 90-minute drive takes us through some high elevations known for their grueling winters, and oh my goodness, y’all. It got to the point where even when it said 0% chance of snow, this is what the roads looked like. And since my treatment was at 7 am, we had to leave home no later than 5:30, which meant driving in the DARK and the snow.

Yeah, so, we ended up at a hotel for the last week and several snowy days in the middle week, LOL. Definitely a wise choice. There was a morning in Morgantown where the roads were so bad we opted to walk to the hospital rather than drive it (our hotel was right across the street).

19. Co-Creating with Our Creator – Conference!

I’ve spoken at plenty of writers conferences before, and done visits to things like MomCo groups and historical societies, but in April, I had the joy of a first for me–to be the keynote speaker at a women’s conference in Kansas. One of my P&P ladies, Laura, suggested me to them, and I got to stay with her while I was there. It was a 1-day conference, and the theme was Co-Creating with Our Creator…which I LOVED!! It was such an awesome trip, hanging out with Laura and Julie (another P&P friend who flew in from Texas to join us), talking to these ladies all day about how God created us to be creative in His image, and how it’s worship to honor that. What a joy!

20. Goodbye Lilly =(

Two years ago, we had three cats. We lost Sammy to feline leukemia and Ivy to a tumor in her head within a month of each other, which broke our hearts. But we still had Lilly, who had been the alpha cat…and also the one with health issues that we’d always thought would make her the first to go. She held on, though, and was her usual dominant, happy self even after her human, Xoe, went to college. She adopted me as a replacement, LOL. Well, this spring Lilly was diagnosed with kidney failure. The vets said she could live a while with it, perhaps, but it wasn’t to be. Our precious kitty died on Palm Sunday, and though it was a loss that hit hard, the timing actually made my heart so tender during Holy Week that I could reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus in a whole new way, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. 

It’s strange to be a without a pet now, and David keeps threatening to come home with 17 kittens. For now, though, I’m just not ready for another.

21. Captivated

The ladies at WhiteCrown decided it would be fun to put an anthology of short stories together for National Princess Day in April. We all agreed that we’d write stories set in our WhiteCrown worlds, make them about 10,000 words, and give the anthology away for a month, then take it down and do whatever we liked with our stories.

Mine was Captivated, the story of Seidon’s parents (he’s the hero in Awakened). It was so much fun to explore the people who would have shaped him and put them in a little adventure. And when I put it up as its own thing, I had Xoe do the art for my cover! She was super excited to get to do some mermaid art, and I think she did an amazing job! =)

You can grab it for only 99¢ from my shop (not available anywhere else just now).

22. Another Senior!

At the end of school last year, I looked at the requirements for graduation and said to Rowyn, who’d just finished 10th grade, “You know, you could just graduate next year if you took two extra classes.”

To which he replied, “Why would I want to do that?”

Then, over the summer, he thought it over, apparently. Because as we were ready to begin our school year last August, he said, “I’m going to do it. I’m going to finish this year.” It required doing two English classes, two math classes, history, advanced biology, Italian, and a couple other electives, but the kid was determined. And not only did he finish, but he got the majority of it done by Thanksgiving! (Some of his online classes wouldn’t let him go that fast, LOL, so those he finished up second semester.)

This kid doesn’t like school. He doesn’t like to read. But he’s GOOD at it. So he put his nose to the grindstone, read a book a day, plowed through calculus, and did an amazing job. He doesn’t want to go on to college at the moment, so he’s going to take this year he just “bought” himself to see if he can make money with his video game building. I figure this is the perfect time for him to chase his dreams! He earned it!

23. Graduation!

So of course, that means we had another graduation! I still can’t quite believe my homeschooling career is over. I’ve been doing this since 2009. But for the first time, my August is not being spent arranging and selecting curriculum, building schedules, or registering for classes. Instead, in May I got to watch my baby graduate with our homeschool group and celebrate with his best friends.

24. Book Bans

When I heard that the Naval Academy in Annapolis was told to remove 381 books from their collection this spring, I was horrified. Banning books isn’t cool, yo. I’d just written a whole novel about it. With The Collector of Burned Books fresh in my mind and heart, I shared about this ban on Facebook and Instagram and ended up talking about it in some of my writers’ groups as well.

Now, let’s be clear. I don’t talk politics. And in my mind, this isn’t about politics. This is about books. This is about freedom. This is about philosophy. And books–that’s my lane.

I’ll be honest though. It was a stressful week. Because while 98% of people agreed with my stance and thanked me for sharing and those posts soared to hits and share numbers I’ve never seen on anything else in my life of social media, the 2% of those who disagreed with me were not only vocal but went on the attack. Suddenly I was being called a Nazi for calling this out, and it would be my fault if violence ever comes, because I villainized the people doing the banning. What I did was point out that government-led bans is the first step toward a bad place, and we need to be careful. I stand by that.

So I lost a few readers. And I gained a few readers. I refined my stance. And I won’t apologize for it.

I’m the proud champion of books, even books I hate.

25. Our 2025 Writing Retreat in Arnold, MD

Though Stephanie and I just had our 2024 retreat in September, we wanted to get back on a spring schedule, so in May, we got to do it again! We stayed in Arnold, MD, which is super close to Annapolis (and an airport, LOL, which is why we went there, since it was Stephanie’s turn to fly to me). We got to have dinner with Xoe and one of her friends over the weekend, and after checking out, we learned that the owner of the AirBnB we’d stayed out is in fact a Johnnie (St. John’s alum) too, and the crew coach there now!

I worked on Aflame while I was there, which was a ton of fun. I had pretty much ZERO idea where the story was going, so it was in many ways the least organized I’ve ever been on retreat, discovery all the way. But I had a blast.

26. The BEAST of a Printer

Another totally random placement in list, but yeah. So, in September, we decided to invest in a commercial printer that would allow us to print book edges. I say “invest” because this thing cost more than my daughter’s car, LOL. We had to order it straight from China, and it was supposed to arrive in late October or early November.

It did not. It didn’t arrive until December, the day before we were leaving for Florida. And it is HUGE. The shipping crate it came in weighed hundreds of pounds. We shoved it in a shed while we were away, then came radiation, so it just sat there for a while. We finally got it over to the office…and had to take off the sliding glass door to get it inside. Only to discover it wouldn’t then fit through ANY interior door, so it gets to live in the kitchen of the house we use as our office.

It’s a monster. A beast. And more complicated than any piece of equipment we’ve ever owned. As in, David couldn’t figure it out on his own or just with the manual, because the manual didn’t actually match the software it came with. So the poor guy had to get on live with the team in China one night, starting at 9, and was on with them until they went to lunch at our midnight. By that point, he had a good enough handle that he could figure the rest out. He didn’t get home until 2 a.m.

But he did it! We were finally able to print book edges!

Of course, this beast can do more than that. We can print candles, mugs, totes, posters…you name it. =)

27. ALA

I have dreamed for years of someday attending the American Library Association’s annual convention. I mean, huge convention center filled with books and book lovers? YES, PLEASE! So When Tyndale invited me to come to Philly in June to sign The Collector of Burned Books, I was STOKED.

Naturally, I said to Xoe, “Should I buy a 1940s era dress and hat to wear??” And naturally, she said, “Well, DUH. YES!”

So I went (online) shopping and found two super cute dresses from the same brand. I had no idea what size I’d need, so I bought a small in one design and a medium in another (both used on Poshmark). The small arrived first and barely fit over my hips when unzipped, so I passed that one to 5’1″ size-0 Xoe, whom it fit like a glove. Then prayed the medium would work. And it fit me like a glove! 

I bought a 40s style felt hat from Amazon…which showed up not looking like the image AT ALL. Instead of flat flower petals, it had these “flowers” sticking straight out. So I took the liberty of pulling them off and then redesigning it myself to have the silhouete I preferred. 😉 And I love how it turned out!

I felt tres chic walking through the convention, but not like I was in costume. I got SO MANY compliments, someone saying I was the most fabulously dressed person there, so that made my day. And of course, the whole point was to draw attention to the book. My signing was supposed to start at 11, but there were some people who couldn’t come then and asked if I’d sign books for them early. That was fine with me and the team manning the booth, so I signed a couple copies…and then people just started lining up. So I kept signing. And signing. And signing. We ran out of books. Then we ran out of the ARCs they’d brought “just in case.” 

It was such fun!! The signing, the chatting with librarians, the exploring of the convention center. I’d go back in a heartbeat!

28. Hoopla Collab

Not long before ALA, Hoopla (the library app) invited me to do a collaboration, in which I make a video plugging The Collector of Burned Books and how it’s available on Hoopla for their social media accounts. This sounded super fun, so I filmed it in front of my Paris wall. I also got to meet with Hoopla at ALA, and they told me about their book features too.

A week or so after the book released, a friend of mine reached out to say my book had been front and center in her Hoopla app that morning, so she grabbed it to listen to on vacation. =) It’s just always fun when things work as they should, LOL.

29. Press Run of Awakened

So if you’re not in the publishing world, here’s a crash course in printing. Big publishers like Harvest House, Bethany House, Tyndale, and Guideposts (my publishers) do what’s called press runs. They send a book to a press, that does runs of hundreds to thousands at a time. Printing the books in bulk means the price per book is low.

Our company, however, uses print on demand technology, which prints books one at a time. It allows us to order a case instead of a pallet, which is awesome. Means we don’t have to warehouse our books.

But for Awakened, we knew we were going to do a special edition with printed edges, and we decided a press run would make more sense for it. So we ordered one. And the books turned out BEAUTIFULLY! We were able to add a subtle spot-gloss on the Awakening mark and title on the cover, and the colors just popped so much better than in the print-on-demand version (which we got as a proof from our usual printer too).

But it’s a lot of books, LOL. Hopefully they’ll fly off the shelves, though, when people see…

30. Printed Edges!

As hinted at in the printer one, these took FOREVER (and a day) to figure out fully, but once David had it figured out…WOW! I hope everyone thinks they were worth the wait, because these babies turned out to be so fantastic!!

 31. Read Dangerously

I decided that I would sign The Collector of Burned Books with the challenge of “Read dangerously.” So naturally, I thought that would make a fun design to sell too. 😉 I spent waaaaaay too long designing that bookshelf with actual banned book titles, but I LOVE how it turned out! I’ve been wearing my T-shirt and drinking from my insulated tumbler and just love it!

32. Pact Organic Dresses

Okay, so I’m totally a sucker for Facebook ads. And I frequently get clothes ones, because I’m also a sucker for dresses. 😉 Well, one of these ads led me to Pact, which is all organic cotton. I really liked the style of their dresses, and they all have POCKETS, but they’re also kinda pricey, so…I hemmed and hawed. Eventually they were running a sale, so I splurged and bought one of their A-line midi dresses.

Best. Dress. Ever. It was so comfortable. It had POCKETS. It was cute and fit like a dream.

Not long after I got that first one, I got a new book contract, and celebrating with another new dress seemed totally appropriate. Then more contracts came in, so…yeah. I now have quite a few of these and have been wearing them nearly every day. No regrets!!

33. Coming to the STAGE!

I was super excited when Fidele Youth Dance Company adapted one of our WhiteCrown books by Hannah Currie, Bring Her Home, for the stage a couple years ago. So when Mimi of Fidele reached out to see if I’d be willing to let them do the same for Christmas at Sugar Plum Manor, I was beyond thrilled. My story, as a ballet? My Nutcracker-inspired story as a ballet? Cue all the excited squeals!

I’m sure this will make my list next year too, after I actually go and see the show. But for now, the anticipation itself makes the list! And if you’re in the Colorado Springs area, it would be awesome to meet you there!

34. Frøya Organics Skincare

After chemo and radiation, I looked in the mirror and just saw someone who’d been sick for months. I felt like I’d aged years in the last six months. My skin was dry and lusterless, and I just decided I wanted to pamper my face a bit. So I invested in some skin care from Froya Organics (that I’d also seen ads for on social media, LOL) that is all Nordic balms.

I got their anti-aging set, as well as their acne treatment and joint balm. And I will say this. My skin feels nourished now. I’ve always been prone to (fairly mild but always there) acne, and while it hasn’t eliminated it, it’s made it so that they’re small and last a day rather than a week, which I count as a win. They smell great, they feel great on, and though they claim that the little jars are a 60-day supply, mine have lasted far longer than that (because I don’t honestly remember to use them all every day, LOL). Is it the miracle working stuff they claim? I wouldn’t go that far. But I love it, and I love how my skin feels now.

35. MidJourney VIDEOS!

Last year I was super excited to begin using MidJourney’s AI images, which can help me streamline my design work a ton. I especially loved it for character images…especially for my fantasy world. Because these are things I just DO NOT HAVE without AI. As in, at all. But now I do. Well, recently MidJourney launched their video creation! You start with an image and then give instructions on how to animate it. I’ve done a ton for my fantasy worlds but also for The Collector of Burned Books. So fun!! You can see more of the ones I created on the Fantasy page and the posts and pages linked from there. =D

36. Just…ALL THE BOOKS

So last year was an “easy” year. Moving from Bethany House to Tyndale meant only one full length historical romance instead of 2, and with cancer treatments, that worked out perfectly. I think I turned in four books in 2024. This year, however…ahem. Since my last birthday, I have turned in SEVEN books. And in 2025, it’ll be EIGHT. That’s just…insane. Utter madness. I still have two more due this year, and I have a “bonus” novel halfway done too. What can I say? I love my job, LOL.

37. The END of Cancer Treatments!

So after chemo, I was still getting treatments every three weeks of two of the drugs that had been in the chemo cocktail, but which aren’t chemo. They’re the ones targeted specifically at my type of protein-fed cancer, meant to block it from coming back. I started these during an IV bag shortage after a hurricane last fall, so I was approved to get them as injections instead of infusions. That meant 5 minutes instead of an hour, so suited me fine!

These treatments are designed to take you through one year of treatments, meaning I had eleven of them after the end of chemo. They were pretty much no big deal, aside from taking the trip to Morgantown. I finished up the last of them in May, a week after my one-year anniversary of my first chemo treatment. And that meant that cancer treatments were finally 100% DONE!!!

WOOT!

38. Reconstruction

But of course, reconstruction wasn’t. 😉 I had to wait six months after the completion of radiation for my final surgery, to give my skin and tissue and blood vessels time to heal. I just had that final surgery on July 22. I was SO excited to get those tissue expanders out (not. comfy.), and the surgery itself was easy and the aftermath SO much easier than the mastectomy.

Except that surgery triggered a migraine. It’s been several years since I’ve had one of these, and I didn’t have a prescription for it. Honestly, it took me days to even realize that the incessant headache + incessant nausea was a migraine. I ended up vomiting from it quite a few times (a first for me. Yay.) and it lingered for a week and a half. Not fun, guys. Not fun. I had to back out of an online conference I was supposed to be teaching at, reschedule a Facebook live to celebrate The Collector of Burned Books…yeah.

But I’m SO glad to have this surgery behind me!

39. Hearthlight Crate!

A couple months ago, a lovely young woman reached out to me about a new book box she wanted to create, featuring God-honoring romantasies. There are SO MANY romantasy/fantasy book boxes out there that are gorgeous and fun…but they’re also usually spicy. Hearthlight will be closed door romantasy. She was considering Awakened for her first selection, and I was obviously thrilled about this. Well, she did end up choosing my story for their debut box!

Hearthlight Crate is using the phrase “noblebright book box,” which I love. Gabrielle has an amazing vision and true determination to bring it to life. The box will include a special edition hardcover version of Awakened with a new jacket design with foil accents, endpaper art, probably edge art, maybe a ribbon bookmark…it’s going to be EPIC, guys!! And then fun tie-in objects too, like candles, luxury book marks, maybe resin figures or other art…those details haven’t been finalized. But I am sooooo excited!

Of course, this all depends on the box being funded. Gabrielle has a Kickstarter page built, which isn’t live yet, but you can sign up to be notified when the funding is in process! This is such a cool vision, I plan to donate so I can get ALL the boxes too. =D

Check out Hearthlight Crate on Kickstarter!

40.The Collector of Burned Books

And…The Collector of Burned Books released!!!! Guys, I am so, so excited about this book. It’s a theme I’m passionate about–the link between books, freedom of thought, and freedom. It was in many ways a love letter to my education at St. John’s. It was an exploration of why the freedom to chose our own reading material is so crucial to society. Yet also a look into why people ban or burn books. It’s a romance that I loved diving deep into. But it’s also one of the only books I’ve written that has an appeal way outside my usual “Christian Historical Romance” crowd. I was interviewed about its themes for Psychology Today. At ALA, I had librarians coming up and saying, “Oh, I’ve been seeing this book talked about everywhere!” And it turned out to be far more timely than I expected, given the book banning going on these days by folks on BOTH sides of the political aisle.

Will it be hugely successful? No clue. Obviously I hope and pray so, as I always do. But even if not, writing it changed me. Writing it opened doors. Writing it made me a better person. And I pray that God uses this book however He wills.

41. Fantasy-fantasy-fantasy

So in addition to writing Captivated and Aflame this year, I’ve also spent a lot of my “free” time working on a bonus story for the world, a prequel about the evil First Sea King, Foretold. I’ve gotten a start on the official third book in the series, Aflame. I’ve planned out other shorts and bonus stories, two of which I can’t even talk about yet because they would give away things from the main books, LOL. These books are like vacation for my brain, and I can get lost in my fantasy world for hours on end. I really, really hope readers like this world as much as I do! You can check out most of what I have planned and explore the world on my Fantasy page!

42. The Island …Shop books!

Last year right around my birthday, I turned in The Island Bookshop to Guideposts. It’s a first for me–a contemporary romance with a historical thread, set at one of my favorite places in the world–Avon, NC, in the Outer Banks. Well, The Island Bookshop released this spring/summer (staggered release), and I’m so excited to see the enthusiastic response to this story that’s in some ways a lot lighter than my historicals, but also full of family drama and hard choices. And this spring, I was super excited to sign the contract for the sequel! The Island Bakeshop will release next year. I haven’t written it yet (it’s due in October), but I LOVE the story I came up with for it. If all goes to plan, there will be a third book called The Island Bikeshop too. =)

43. Up to 55 Contracted Books!

I’ve been at this writing thing (professionally) for about 15 years. At first, I was happy to put out a book a year. Then two. But those numbers keep climbing, and when I look at my book list now, I realize that I have 55 books either out or under contract! That’s a lot of books! It is so humbling and exhilarating both to realize that I get to do this thing I love for a living. That it can support our family. That I get to use my words to share what God has taught me and what He keeps on teaching me through the stories He puts on my heart.

I’m so excited to keep working on these stories, and so grateful to YOU for supporting me and speaking life and encouragement into me with your support! Your emails, comments, and notes always make my day!

In summary, 42 was a year of cancer treatmeants…and END of treatments. It was a year of story. It was a year of travel and new experiences. It was a year of risk-taking and learning how to bring new visions to life. It was a year of surgeries and new self-image.

It was a year of blessing. Of renewal. Of celebration.

I have a few ideas of what 43 will include, if things go to plan. And of course, lots of room for surprises and unexpected twists and turns (because when does life NOT include those?). And I am so, so excited to walk forward into it and see what my good, good Father has in store for me next!

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