The other day, my husband and I were talking about the challenges of following God, of growing in Him, even of spiritual warfare.

“It’s hard.” That’s what so many people say. That’s what I’ve said many times. And it’s true, isn’t it?

Being a good Christian is hard. Choosing the right thing every . . . single . . . time is hard. Putting others above yourself is hard. Remembering in every moment to think of God’s will above your own is—you guessed it—hard.

But as we were talking, David had an observation that really resonated with me.

It’s hard because we make it hard, because we refuse to give up control. Because we think we have to be the one doing all the work. It’s hard because we want to hang on to our own will, not fully relinquish it to God.

It’s hard because we think we have to fight the battle under our own strength. Put on that Armor of God and charge into the fray, just hoping He’ll have our back.

David pointed out, though, that it doesn’t have to be that way at all. Certainly not all the time. He made this analogy, and it’s one I love.

All we really have to do is be a kid dancing with our daddy. We have to step up onto His feet. We have to put our hands in His, or even wrap them around His waist. And then we just have to let Him dance.

Isn’t that a powerful image? We don’t have to fight every minute of the day. We don’t have be weighed down and burdened by the challenges. True surrender to God’s will doesn’t mean punishment or drudgery or even a constant feeling of sacrifice (though of course, there is sacrifice in following Him above our own desires).

True surrender looks a lot like the trust of a child dancing with Daddy. True alignment of will looks like putting our feet on His, our hands in His. And then . . . then living this Christian life looks a lot like a dance. It feels a lot like laughter and joy and security and peace.

Because we know that He knows the steps. We know that He’ll move us exactly where we need to go. We know that when we’re so fully aligned with Him, He actually does the work—we just need to stay there, doing it with Him. We need to make sure we don’t stumble off onto our own path or take our fingers away from His.

And we need to keep looking up at His face. That’s the sweetest thing about being a child dancing with Daddy, right? The way they tilt their faces up to regard their loving Father. That’s how they keep from falling away.

That’s how we do the same.

Keep looking up into His precious face. Keep hanging on to His nail-pierced hands. Keep your feet firmly planted on his swift-moving ones. And feel the rhythm of the dance of grace.

It’s November. Every November, as I scroll through social media or blogs, I see people posting about what they’re grateful for. Thankful for. People taking the whole month to appreciate all they’ve been given from the Lord. Beautiful, obviously!

But you know…sometimes I see or hear those same people doing something we all fall into so easily, even during a month of gratitude: COMPLAINING.

I very nearly titled this post “Hey, you–yeah, YOU–stop complaining!” … but I wasn’t sure it would come through that I was talking to myself as much as you, LOL. But I totally am. Because here’s the thing, friends: complaining is addictive.

Seriously. It releases one of those chemicals into your brain, and it also elicits responses from people–either they jump on board with the complaining (bonding!) or they argue, but either way, it feeds our need to be seen and heard and to engage with others.

Complaining can sometimes help us articulate a problem and, hence, find a solution to it. Sometimes stating, “Man, I’m tired,” can mean, “I should probably stop working now and rest before I make a mistake,” or “Wow, I’ve put in a hard day’s work today!” Sometimes, when I say I’m sore, what I’m really saying is that I need to take a few minutes to stretch. There is simple observation…

But how often do we instead use our complaints as a constant lens through which we view the world? How often do we go looking for what we disapprove of in a situation, instead of focusing on the good?

Just think over your latest conversations. Food, politics, religion, your car, your work, your clothes, your family…how much of your focus on these topics was on the negative? Sure, we can be grateful we have all those things, but if we then turn around and pick it apart, are we really exhibiting the gratitude and thanksgiving that God calls us to offer up to Him?

In a book of efficiency called Effortless, the author had caught himself in a pattern of complaining so issued himself a simple challenge: every time he complained out loud, he had to put a dollar in a jar. Well, he soon curbed the spoken words, so then it was every time he thought about complaining, he put the money in. Pretty soon, he’d stopped even thinking complaints. Every time something came up that would usually have made him grumble, he consciously reframed it. Maybe into a mere observation: So maybe, “She is late AGAIN” turned into “Huh, that’s the third time this week she’s been late” and then–here’s the real trick–into a compassionate response like “I wonder why she’s late again? Are her days stressful? Is there anything I can do to help her with that?”

This month, I’m going to be issuing myself a challenge, and I’d love it if some of you would join me. Let’s turn our complaining into compassion and our grumbling into gratitude! Every time we think or speak a complaint, let’s pause and reframe it into something positive–something to be grateful for. Let’s stop being put out by people and start trying to help them.

My example: when walking along the beach with my best friend in September, I observed, “Man, it’s crowded out here! I hate crowded beaches.” We’d just been talking about complaining, so we laughed and immediately reframed it to: “Isn’t it great that so many people are out with their families enjoying God’s creation? It’s pretty awesome that I get to be here sharing that with them too.”

To help us all out with that, I’ve even created a little printable mini-journal. To help us develop the habit, let’s keep this with us and jot down our complaints–and more importantly, our reframing of them into a praise–throughout the month. I bet as the weeks wears on, we’ll find fewer and fewer occasions to use it…because we’ll stop complaining in general!

What things or topics tend to evoke the most complaints in your conversation? How can you check that impulse?

A month ago, I blogged on Colossians 3, inspired by the spiritual formation exercises that we’re doing in the Patrons & Peers group. This month, our lovely resident spiritual director, Laura Heagy, sent us a great exercise on “Festooning the Lord’s Prayer.” The phrase comes to us from C. S. Lewis–the practice is old and so amazing!

The idea is this: read through the Lord’s prayer slowly, phrase by phrase, and dwell on what each word and phrase really means. Rewrite it for yourself, adding to it to make it not only applicable to your life but to convey the breadth and depth and insight of these seemingly-simple words that Jesus chose to model for us.

I’ve done this before, but never so deliberately, and so frequently. I haven’t written down my thoughts on it every day, but enough that I can start to pick out the themes of what really strikes me. Some days, I choose to view it through the lens of Holy Communion and what Jesus truly gave for us on His cross. Some days, I focus on the fact that every single personal pronoun is plural–not about ME, but about US. Some days, I focus on how missional this prayer is.

To chat a moment about the practical, I set up a section in a notebook for doing this. At the top of each page, I wrote one phrase of the prayer–in color, centered. Then I have the page to write my musings and festoonings throughout the month, about each phrase. It’s been working well for me!

Here are a few of my thoughts from the last couple weeks–I’m sharing seven days’ reflections, simply because it’s a nice rainbow. 😉 Each color coordinates with the same color for each phrase. I invite you to break out a cute little notebook and take a few minutes to do some festooning of your own! If you feel so inclined, share in the comments!

Our Father, who art in Heaven

My beloved Papa, ruler of the universe who holds me in Your hand…
Daddy of us all, who is present by our sides…
My God and Father–the one who makes His home in heaven…
Our Father–not just of me but of all believers–who is all around us…
Dear Dad, I know you make Your home in a place of perfection, but still you fill this very room…
God who guides us with a loving hand–wherever we go, you are there…

Hallowed be Thy name

I will honor your very name and set it aside as holy, knowing the power that speaking it wields…
We sing your praises and worship your name…
Let us revere, honor, and glorify you, knowing you are the very definition of what is holy…
We praise your name together, because you are worthy…
It’s easy to speak of you in passing or for my own purposes, but that’s not right. I need to remember you–and even your name–are powerful and sacred…
We will lift up your name and recognize you as the one who defines holiness and righteousness and goodness…

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven

May we live in your kingdom, bring it here, by doing your will as fully and wholeheartedly as your angelic messengers…
Through Christ you established your kingdom–help us to do your will as joint heirs of that kingdom…
Help us to do your Kingdom work here on earth…
We want to work together as ambassadors of your Kingdom…
It’s so easy to seek MY will and assume it’s right…but no. I need to seek YOUR will and conform mine to it. Help me to do that, and to do it atively, purposefully…
Give us the eyes to see your will, the hearts and minds and hands to do your work here on earth, redeeming the world…

Give us this day our daily bread

Provide for us today exactly what we need in order to carry out your will…
Thank you for providing Christ daily for us, to sustain our souls…
Give us all we need today, Lord, so that there are no needs or lack to distract us from your work…
Today, provide us all with what we need–the food, the clothes, the place to live…the inspiration, the love, the strength…
Because you’re a loving Father who sees so much further than we can, you know our true needs. Thank you for meeting them day by day. Help me to trust you with that…
Give us all we need to do that work for your kingdom–food, clothing, shelter, transportation, money, vision…

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

Forgive us for every time we’ve taken a step off your path and gone where we shouldn’t have–and help me likewise to forgive every offense of others…
May His blood wash away our every sin and remind us to forgive others too…
Cancel out our debts against You and give us the grace to cancel the debts of those who owe us too…
We are a people who sin, against each other and against you–please help us to live and walk in grace, mercy, and forgiveness…
I’m going to do things wrong–we all are. Help me to forgive every hurt. Forgive every hurt I’ve given. Help me to accept and extend that healing grace…
Forgive us for the hurt we’ve caused others and give us the grace, love, and mercy to forgive those who have hurt us…

Lead us not into temptation

Please, as my feet are on that path of yours, may it guide me away from tests and trials…
May partaking of Him strengthen us each day to resist any temptation…
Let no trial or test come upon us that will lead us away from you–we know we’re weak!…
We are always poised to stray from your path, but please keep our aim true…
There are so many things to temps us, to test us, to try us! You can see those snares, Lord. Lead us away from them…
Protect us from the things that would reveal our human weakness…

But deliver us from evil

And deliver me from every bad thing that comes…
When bad things befall us, save us from them, Lord…
Save us, Lord, from the fiery darts of Satan and also from our own sinful natures…
When the powers of darkness close in, save your children, Father…
Away from the enemy, away even from consequences that would befall us if we continued on those dangerous, selfish paths. Keep hold of my hand, Lord! YOU are safety and joy!…
And from both active and passive forces of evil–the devil’s really out to get us as well as our own sin and folly…

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever

You rull the earth, you can do anything. You are filled with majesty and light and beauty forever…
Everything we may desire, you hold in your hand–you always have and you always will…
We know that all that is good, right, and mighty is in you…
For you, ruler of all, can do everything. Our hope rests in you, always. you ARE everything good and holy…
Everything I see, everything I could want, the power people fight and kill over–it’s yours. Fame and glory–yours, onlyr yours. Then, now, and forever…
You are the only one in the universe capable of all this!…

Amen.

I believe!
It’s true!
Yes, Lord!
This is what we believe!
Yes, Lord. This is true. I know it, I cling to it, and I hold out my hands to offer it all back to you.
I know it’s so!