When it comes to how we spend our time, there are good ways and bad ways, right? There are things that we deem worthwhile uses of our time . . . and things we deem not worthwhile.

Over the last couple weeks, I’ve had a couple conversations with my best friend about what’s worthwhile–for our kids, for ourselves. Most recently, the conversation involved me giving her a pep talk, not unlike other times when she’s had to give pretty much the same pep talk to me. ? After coming off a very serious project, the next thing on our list sometimes feels, well . . . silly. Inconsequential. Nearly selfish.

And we struggle with guilt over spending time on it, because does it really matter?

Obviously, the answer to this might be different based on what that project is. But in general, if it’s something we’ve already laid out for ourselves, there’s a reason behind it. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that there are different types of useful. There’s ministering to the homeless on the streets, and there’s reading to kids at a school. Both are good. Both are worthwhile. Both can really impact a life. But one’s a bit harder, right? That doesn’t mean the other is less valuable. Worth less. It’s just different. And at different times in our lives, we might need that different type of service.

But we’d also been talking about this as it has to do with our kids, and the things they like to spend their time on. I have to think this is something most modern parents debate.

Are video games okay? YouTube videos? Television? Social media? How much is too much? What is worthwhile?

I admit to quite a bit of frustration on this topic. Because I have these ideas of what’s worthwhile, what’s okay, what’s useful to my kids. Reading, obviously. Outside time. Extracurricular activities. A little TV’s okay. 

My children don’t always agree.

It’s been a struggle, sometimes. But I have to say that what made me look at it from a different perspective was when someone else commented on the same thing I’d whined about before. (Yes, I’m one of those people who tend to think, “I can chastise my kids for what they’re doing wrong, but you don’t get to. That’s my job, not yours.” LOL) When someone else commented on the uselessness of the YouTube videos my son likes to watch, I found myself coming to the defence, not just of Rowyn for watching them, but of the whole phenomenon. These young people have found a way to create a new medium. They’ve made ridiculous amounts of money providing something that kids today enjoy–basically, videos of themselves playing games.

Do I understand it? Not exactly. But . . . isn’t that what an awful lot of TV is too? Reality shows in particular. Those have become pretty darn accepted by the masses. But the same person who can’t miss an episode of their favorite might snarl at the so-dubbed YouTubers. Is that fair, though? Just because it’s not the medium you prefer, does that mean it’s worse? Nope. I really think they deserve a lot of kudos for creating something that has really struck a chord with today’s youth. And it’s a lot more “real” in a lot of ways than reality TV. They’re showing their failures and struggles as well as their victories. Maybe in something “silly” like a video game–but those are still life lessons, right? That sometimes to achieve your goal, you have to try it over and over again. You fail. You go back to the beginning. And you keep trying.

And what about the thing I love best–fiction? Is that really any different? How often have people sneered at popular fiction? Romance? At fiction rather than non-fiction? A LOT. And they’ve been sneering for hundreds of years. The thing I love has been deemed not-worthwhile by a lot of people. So maybe…maybe I ought to be careful about what I judge to be not-worthwhile.

In college, someone once asked me, “Why do you always have a novel with you?” My answer was, “Because I value my sanity.” To me, that Love Inspired novel was absolutely worthwhile. It was necessary to my mental health. Reading Christian Fiction provided a much-needed counterbalance to all the heavy philosophy I had to read for school. Plenty of people didn’t think it was worthwhile.

But I knew better.

So how does that translate for this new generation? What things that I don’t understand are not just okay but are necessary for their sanity, their development in this world I’ve helped create? Well, for starters, they really do need to be savvy with the screens. Unless something apocalyptic happens, they’re going to be using them even more than I do.

Next, I need to grant that their favorite YouTube channels aren’t any less inane than the TV I spent my weekends watching as a kid. (I’m sorry, but mutated adolescent turtles and singing raisins aren’t exactly brilliant things either, LOL.)

And finally, I just need to pray that their own life’s callings, their passions, will somehow be fed by the media at their fingertips. My love of what some would call “silly romance novels” has led me to my ministry, my career, my calling. Who’s to say what my kids might be led to?

Is this something that you struggle with in your family?