Thoughtful About . . . The Magic

Thoughtful About . . . The Magic

Well, I’m back from my writing retreat. My manuscript is complete. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And as it eased off, I couldn’t help but contemplate about this strange thing that is a creative’s mind. The doubts that always plague us.

This was the sixth year my best friend and I have gotten together like this–and we skipped one year when she had a newborn, so I took a mini retreat at my parents’ house while they were out of town. Seven years ought to have given me a pretty good indicator of what I can accomplish. And it has. I know that, when on retreat, I can write at least 10,000 words a day. I know that in four full days, 40K isn’t a big ask. I know that I can do this, because I’ve done it six times before.

Stephanie and I trying out the couch our first evening at the Airbnb
But this year, I had to do it. The manuscript I was working on was due two days after I got home. This wasn’t a matter of getting a good start or finishing up a book due next month. This was critical.
Which means the fears crept in. What if, I kept thinking, the magic doesn’t work this time?
Intellectually, of course, I knew it wasn’t magic. There’s no great mystery about how these retreats work. It isn’t that our fingers are always flying, that something happens beyond my comprehension. We have a lot of time when we’re just sitting, hands still on our keyboards, working it out in our minds. We don’t type any faster than usual. It isn’t mystical. It’s just plain ol’ hard work. Often fourteen hours of it (with breaks to eat, walk, do jumping jacks, etc.).

Where I spent most of my weekend–in a big leather armchair, looking out over the living room and kitchen
But something that is unique to a retreat is that I prepare for it. I warn people I’ll be away. I set up an out-of-office auto-responder on my email. I clear everything else off my desk–even the things that are kinda pressing. I give myself permission to work on nothing else.
Something about that and the dedicated time does seem to be a recipe for success. It isn’t “magic.” But it certainly feels it, as I’m sitting in a crowded, noisy airport and manage to tune it all out and just put words on the page–though at home, a mere “Good morning” can derail me for half an hour.
This year, when I needed the retreat more than I ever have before, I was also more productive-per-hour than I’ve ever been. In a 56-hour period, I wrote 33,251 words. Given that quite a few of those hours were spend sleeping, LOL, that’s really, really good for me. At the end of my day of travel, I had 6,000 words. Day 2 (first full day), I wrote 15K. And I went to bed that night thinking, “Okay, my worries were so silly. I can do this. I knew I could do this. But now I feel like I can do this.”

After my 15K day, I knew on Saturday that I’d probably finish my book that day–
which made the coffee at Groundhouse all the sweeter.
But this is pretty typical of us humans, isn’t it? Even when they shouldn’t, doubts plague us. Even when we know something in our heads, that doesn’t mean we get the message in our hearts. Our knowers can know, but our worriers still worry. Sometimes, that can paralyze us. As my deadline drew nearer and my to-list was a mile long with other time-sensitive tasks too, there were days at home when I just stared at the screen, fighting back the panic, not knowing what to do first.
There’s never a magic recipe for escaping that. But there’s something better. There’s hard work. And there’s the sure knowledge that even when we fail, God doesn’t. Even if we mess something up, He can make beauty from the ashes. It isn’t an excuse not to give things more-than-our-best and strive for excellence–it’s just knowing that when our strength fails, we can rely on His instead to help us achieve it.

We celebrated the end of the retreat with tacos

I thoroughly enjoyed my long weekend in Kansas City with my best friend. And I also chuckled at myself as I thought about the very different emotional state I was in a week before. Emotions change–hence motion in the word, right? But we can choose not to be ruled by them. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of putting in the hard work so that our feelings can catch up with our certainty.

Thoughtful About . . . The Word of God

Thoughtful About . . . The Word of God

What does it mean when we call the Bible the infallible Word of God?
This is something my husband and I have been talking about from different angles lately. Something that will probably get some vehement reactions, LOL. But something I really think bears thinking about.

Here are a few phrases I’ve heard quite a lot:

All we need is the Bible
If it disagrees with the Bible, it’s wrong
The Bible is infallible
The Bible is the ultimate authority
The Bible is the inspired Word of God
The Bible was written by God, penned by man
On the surface, I agree with each and every one of these statements 100%. But I have to admit…the more conversations I hear where these statements are used as arguments, the more I sometimes think–and this is going to sound very strange, so bear with me–sometimes people make an idol of the Bible.
Okay, I know how that sounds. I do. But hear me out.
Before the Bible was written, did God speak to His people?
Yes.
When the Old Testament was codified but before Jesus came, was God still planning His means of salvation?
Yes.

After Jesus had come, but before the New Testament was put to parchment, did His Spirit speak to the Church?

Yes.
When what we today call the Bible was just a collection of letters, various versions and copies floating around, did God guide His church?
Yes.
When we find multiple manuscripts with slight discrepancies, is there still a Truth?
Yes.
Where does all that lie?
With God.
The Bible is an amazing gift that He’s given us. Inspired words, absolutely. But here’s the thing: God existed before the Bible. God was worshiped before the Bible. God provided salvation for us before those books we call the Gospel existed. The Church was built before those letters from Paul were written. People were living, day in and day out, serving Him and trusting Him and knowing they would join Him in Paradise…all before what we call the Bible was a thing.
For three hundred years, there was a New Testament church, yet there was no New Testament.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Our faith, our trust, our worship, our praise, does not lie in the Book. It lies with the Author.


God is SO…MUCH…BIGGER than those 66 books. Right? Just imagine how the Jews felt when Jesus began preaching His life-changing lessons. What He was basically claiming was that God was more than what they understand Him to be from the Law and the Prophets. He was more loving. He was more merciful. He was more concerned with heart than action. He was basically saying that the Old Testament understanding, while correct, wasn’t complete.
We today have more. We have the New Testament as well. And the understanding it gives us is correct…but is it complete? Can everything there is to know about God be summed up in those pages?
I hope you agree with this answer: Of course not! The pages themselves claim as much!
How could the God of gods, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Creator of the entire universe, ever be summed up in full by measly human words, right? We know He’s bigger. We know He’s more. We know that, yes, the Bible is God-inspired…but the Bible isn’t God. People can be Christians without the Bible in their hands, without having read it all. They can have a true, full faith.
Now, the Bible certainly helps! As I said, it’s one of the most amazing gifts He’s given humanity. And I believe that we need to be certain that teachings line up with Scripture, absolutely. Just like the NT needs to harmonize with OT, so do teachings that come after the Bible need to align with it.
But I don’t believe the Bible was even intended to be the sum total of what we read, what we think about, what we rely on, and what we base every decision upon. Why do I think that? Because the very heroes of the Bible didn’t have it! And they still did the things that earned them a place in the ultimate Story. Because they relied on Him. On His living Word.
I love that John calls Jesus the Word–He is the true Word of God, right? Not the books written about Him–the actual Man. Which is so, so important. Because the Bible is static–but He is eternal. The Bible is words, but He is flesh. Even in the Bible itself, He doesn’t promise us more writing to help us and give us the answers. He promises us the Spirit.
A lot of the people of Jesus’ day dismissed Him because they thought they needed nothing more than the Law and the Prophets. I pray that we today don’t dismiss things God is trying to do,  understanding He’s trying to give us because it’s not part of the canonized Bible. We argue with ideas that don’t agree with our understanding of the words He gave to Moses or Paul. We say if it’s not in the Bible, that it’s not worth knowing.
But what if it’s our understanding that’s faulty–incomplete? Just as theirs was in Jesus’ day?
This is what leads to a lot of tension between, for instance, religion and science. Because sometimes those of faith have a particular reading of the Bible that seems to disagree with what scientists have discovered. And sometimes those of science seem to have an axe to grind when it comes to faith.
But the Bible was never meant to be a scientific treaty. The Bible was meant to be a love story between God and man. It’s not about knowledge–the collection of facts. It’s about wisdom–how to apply knowledge to our lives and use it to guide our decisions, our morals, and our beliefs.

Sometimes, what we view to be tension is in fact just incomplete understanding. A few hundred years ago, most Christians could not accept that the sun was the center of the solar system–it disagreed with their fundamental understanding of God’s love for humanity, placing them at the center of His creation. Today, we don’t see this as a problem. Two hundred years ago, many Christians couldn’t accept the idea of “outer space” because it disagreed with their understanding of the “firmament” described in Genesis. Today, we don’t see this as a problem either. Who’s to say how wisdom will grow to accommodate knowledge in the next fifty or hundred years? But too often, we look to the Bible and say, “But it says…”

But here’s the thing: it says what it needs to say to tell the story of God’s love. It uses language that the people who wrote it could understand. It’s still relevant, it’s still True. But there can also still be more to the story. Because no words can express Him and His wonders. He can teach us more, and it does not negate what He said before. It tells us the how of the that He already whispered to us about, that’s all. It expands our vocabulary. But knowing more words to describe the phenomena never changes the basic facts of it, and of Who designed and orchestrated it. Knowing the words to describe the symphony changes nothing about how beautiful it is–it just gives us a means of discussing it.
My Bibles–and I have quite a collection of them, LOL–will always remain some of my most valued possessions, and the books I turn to daily. Something no other book can ever claim, to be sure. But I also love knowing that if those physical books pass away, if every last copy is destroyed, the Word of God will still stand. When it isn’t written on a page, it will still be written on our hearts. It’s more than my feeble understanding. It’s more than a collection of words on a page.
The true Word of God is my Savior, my Lord, my Jesus. I don’t worship the things He said. I worship Him. The Bible is my guide–but it is not my God.

Thoughtful About . . . Fasting

Thoughtful About . . . Fasting

Given that today is Mardi Gras and tomorrow begins Lent with Ash Wednesday, I decided to bump my usual Thursday post up a few days to talk about something relevant to the season.


Fasting.
I find the modern take on fasting very curious. There are those who do it because it’s obligatory, especially this time of year. There are those who refuse to do it because it has traditionally been obligatory. There are those who will fast a day here and there for really special occasions, when they need to be dedicated to prayer, and there are those who fast regularly throughout the year. I’m probably missing some. But you get the picture. Fasting, in our modern age, is all over the board.

So, first, what is fasting? Quite simply, an abstaining. Most often from it’s food, but it could be from anything, specifically something that brings us pleasure. The idea of the fast is to deny yourself something you are accustomed to, enjoy, or even crave. Why? In part to remind you to pray. In part to suffer (yes, that’s right). And in part to create discipline.

I did a lot of pondering on fasting last year when my husband and I decided jointly to do a very traditional Lenton fast. In the past, I’d occasionally given something up for Lent. But it had never been as hard as this. Those forty days stretched on forever this time. And that made me thoughtful about it.
I know that fasting isn’t always looked upon with favor these days. And that it really isn’t recommended for a lot of people. But I have to say that I learned so much–about myself, about my faith, about the purpose of this practice–when I did this.
First of all, yes, it did remind me to pray. Because hunger has a way of sharpening us. Every time my belly growls, I think about why I’m hungry. But it was so much more than that.

And it was more because it was hard. When I was hungry and just wanted to give up on this whole thing, I would think, “All I’m doing is not eating until a given hour of the day. What is that compared to what Christ did for me? How hungry was He in the wilderness, when He didn’t eat at all for forty days? How much did He suffer in those weeks leading up to the crucifixion, when He knew what was coming? He did that for me. For us. And I’m complaining about going a few hours?”

Our modern world isn’t big on suffering (ahem). Not only do we not want it, but we’re also very cynical about the forms of it that have traditionally been invited. Oh, we recognize the value of physical exercise, even though it might hurt. But something like fasting? Um, no. Many of us, especially Protestants, not only don’t participate, but we look down on those who do as being not as strong in the faith, if they feel the need to do obligatory things.
But here’s the thing. We will suffer in life. This is guaranteed. It will come. And how will we handle it when it does? Part of the point of a fast is to have created in ourselves a discipline and a strength. Just like with exercise, we condition ourselves to withstand discomfort and pain. We condition ourselves so that when a true trial comes, our spiritual muscles aren’t completely unaccustomed to it.
And then there’s temptation.
Last year, I had homeschool group the first Thursday of every month. One of the things my group always had available was a breakfast the moms could come in and grab between classes. And that particular month, there were some delicious-looking options. I wanted to get something. It looked yummy. It was a temptation–a mild one, really. I mean, a donut isn’t sinful. It’s not forbidden in general. It was just something I’d decided not to eat for forty days.
But as I sat there not eating it but really wanting to eat it, I realized this was practice. This was training myself–if I can resist small temptations, then I’ll have trained myself to resist bigger ones. Ones that actually matter.

What’s the point of all this musing? Certainly not to say, “You must fast!” I’d never say that. I fully believe this sort of thing is between us and God. But I will say, “Maybe you should consider it, ask God if there’s something He’d like you to give up for a while.” Spiritual exercise, discipline-crafting.  We recognize the value of doing that for our physical bodies. Why not our spiritual ones?

And I will also say this: it seems that when fasting is part of a requirement, people get creative in finding ways to bend it. That totally defeats the purpose. Yes, it’s hard. It’s supposed to be. If you’re bending “rules” to make it more manageable, then you’re defeating the purpose. Kinda like when I lay there on the workout bench doing nothing but still count it as part of my thirty minutes. 😉 (Not that I ever do that, ahem. LOL)
Maybe you fast sometimes. Maybe you don’t. Maybe, like I’ve done in the past, you give up something for Lent. Or maybe you think that’s legalistic and not embracing grace. Maybe you give up food for specific times, or maybe you can’t give up food for medical reasons and instead give up television or fiction or something else. Whatever your opinion, I thought today would be a good day to ponder the practice as a whole. 
It’s something Jesus did. Something Paul and the disciples did (“often,” according to 2 Cor 11:27). Something the early church held in such high esteem that it was some of the earliest teachings in the Didache. Something that clearly is to be joined with prayer to achieve greater effects (think of when Jesus said a certain unclean spirit could only be cast out “with prayer and fasting”) because it draws us closer to the Lord.
Where do you come down on this topic? Have you learned any lessons through fasting?

Thoughtful About . . . Honest Faith

Thoughtful About . . . Honest Faith

Have you ever noticed how often children appear in the Gospels?

Have you ever wondered why?
Time and again, Jesus not only encourages children to come to Him, He holds them up as the examples of true faith.
In Matthew 21, after He’s just cleared the temple, the religious leaders chastise Him because the children were crying out, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” after they saw Him healing the blind and lame, and He did nothing to silence them.
We just read this passage in our Bible study, and it was so interesting to take it out of that “Of course this is what happened” way of thinking and instead pose questions to ourselves.
If, in your church, some guy came in and touched someone who’d been ill a long time and they were suddenly better…if your kids or grandkids or nieces or students starting shouting, “Save us, Son of David!” (the literal meaning of Hosannah), what would you do?
Quite likely, you’d hush the kids, right? Probably with something along the lines of “Only God can save us, not this guy.” Even if he was a genuine healer filled with the Holy Spirit, we would not want our kids to cry to him for salvation.
Looking at it that way, you can see where these leaders are coming from. This was a disturbing thing to hear.
But even so, the kids cried out because of what they’d just seen Him do. And if we, too, saw miracles…wouldn’t it make you wonder about who this fellow was?

As we talked about kids and how quick they are to believe, we also realized that in part this belief comes from what they’ve been taught. And what do we teach our kids? Do we teach them our principles…or our doubts?

The Jewish families in Jerusalem at that time would have been instructing their little ones in the Law and the Prophets. They would have been singing psalms with them daily; including Psalm 118, from which “Save us, Son of David!” comes. Quite possibly, these kids even would have heard their parents muttering the phrase every time more news came about the oppressive Roman regime. It would have been a cry on their lips frequently, I think.
A cry the children wouldn’t know not to take literally. Because that’s not the way a child’s belief works. They hear our words, not our internal monologue about how God sure hadn’t saved us before, so who’s say if He ever would again. They learn our lessons, even when we don’t necessarily believe them anymore ourselves. 
These children who called out in praise to Jesus in the temple weren’t encumbered by their parents’ expectations of what a Savior should look like. All they knew was that Jesus healed. Jesus did the impossible. And they believed it because they saw it. Maybe they believed it just because something showed on his face that they weren’t cynical enough to doubt yet.
Children don’t just have a strong faith–they have an honest faith. They believe what they’re taught in a way the teacher rarely does anymore.

As I let these thoughts churn during our church service, I remembered that this was something I’d thought before, actually. Something I explored in A Soft Breath of Wind. My heroine, Zipporah, is touched with a spiritual gift that her family can scarcely take in. Because she was young, and she believed. It was at the core as simple as that. She believed what they’d taught her…far more than they themselves did.

Kids aren’t jaded yet. Kids aren’t cynical. Kids don’t have expectations for the way the world–and God–works. They quite simply believe what they say they do.
There’s such beauty in that, isn’t there? And such a lesson. How often do we say the words that are expected, but inside we don’t really expect anything to come of them? How often do we teach things without examining their truth for ourselves? How have we let our honest, childlike faith become cluttered and dulled by a lifetime of questions and doubts and misunderstanding?
Those children in the temple didn’t expect Jesus to save them from Rome, as their parents did. They just expected Him to do the impossible. And He did.
We have expectations when we pray. But like those parents in Jesus’s day, they’re tied up in our wants rather than the Lord’s. But how often is Jesus standing right there before us, already doing something far more miraculous, if only we have the eyes to see…and the heart to believe?

Thoughtful About . . . Romance

Thoughtful About . . . Romance

When I looked down and realized that my normal Thoughtful post this week would be on Valentine’s Day…well, it didn’t take a genius to realize what my topic ought to be. 😉 But deciding what particular slant I wanted to take on a very general topic proved much more of a challenge.

As I let the subjects of love and romance and marriage etc. all swirl around in my head, a few things came to the surface. Some of which I intend to talk about in more detail (and with other authors) during some of my Roseanna White Live events this spring. But writing it all out here is a great place to start. 😀

I am a romance writer. In particular, a Christian Romance writer. Even more particularly, I tend to focus on historical romance. Which I think has given me an interesting perspective, because, for most of history, a woman’s primary purpose was to find a good match, get married, and raise a family. There were always exceptions, but that was the rule.

And I love that. I have other passions, yes, and I think most people do. But as goals go, building a family is one of the most important ones I’ve ever been able to imagine for myself.
Some of the critics of Christian Romance as a genre–and historicals in particular–rant about how these books teach girls to focus on the wrong things: that without a man they can’t be complete, that marriage is all they should be thinking about, and that focusing on such things might “awaken passion before it’s time.” That they portray unrealistic heroes and give us an unrealistic view of what a relationship will look like.
And this is where I always want to argue. Because no, most stories I read aren’t saying that at all. But they are saying that when we find that special someone, we are better together than we are apart. Stronger with each other than without. 

Let’s be honest: most of us end up falling in love and getting married. This is how God made us, to crave companionship. It’s going to come up. And it’s IMPORTANT. One of the biggest decisions we ever make in our life. So shouldn’t we be taught how to differentiate between emotion and something deeper? Shouldn’t we identify what makes someone a good versus a bad partner? Shouldn’t we have an idea of what a relationship with a godly man should look like? This is actually what I love about Christian romance–it’s not all about finding the alpha male who’s super sexy. It’s about finding someone who makes the heroine better. Through whom they grow closer to God. It’s about showing us all that we are worthy of love.

This is why the bride and bridegroom feature in SO MANY of Jesus’s examples and parables. It’s why we, the Church, are even called His bride.
Because it’s basic, common, something easily understood. But that’s not the only reason. It’s also because the love we feel for that special someone is such a perfect analogy for our relationship with Him.
He pursues us. We wait for Him. We can get along on our own, yes, but we are oh so much better once we put our hand in His. We’re stronger together. And once we’ve found Him, we know we always have someone to turn to. Someone to comfort us in our tears and laugh with us in our joys. Someone to work through the problems with us and whisper encouragement in our ear when we think we can’t take one more step.
As for the “before it’s time” complaint…this has long been something I take issue with. I had the blessing of meeting my future husband in middle school and dating him through high school. We went to the same college and got married after our freshman year when we were both still 18. Did I get married young because I’d read romance novels? Um…no. I got married young because God had already put in my life the man He wanted me to marry, and I recognized that and embraced it. I didn’t see the point in waiting just because today’s culture looked at me askance. I rather looked at them askance when they said things like, “Why don’t you just live together?” And now, 17.5 years later, I can still say I’m certain we made the right decision. We’ve never had a moment’s regret over marrying young. We’ve grown together and changed together and sought God more deeply together. We’ve built each other up, helped each other chase dreams, and are raising a family.
My story obviously isn’t everyone’s. No one’s story is everyone’s. But that, too, is what I love about Christian Romance novels. They give a glimpse into different stories, one of which might just strike a chord with you. One of those heroines is going to have the same insecurities that plague you. One of those heroes is going to remind you of him. And as they struggle and grow together, it’s going to remind you of the journey you’re on–and how crucial it is to keep on growing closer to each other and to God.
Whatever your romance looks like, whether you have a special someone in your life to celebrate with or not, I pray that today you feel love–the love of a Savior who loves you so much that He moved heaven and earth to meet you. A Man who gave up His kingdom for you. A Lord who stretches out his hand and says, “Come to me, my bride.”
Now that is a love story worthy of the ages…

Thoughtful About . . . A Different Response to Abortion Questions

Thoughtful About . . . A Different Response to Abortion Questions

The events of the last couple weeks, as NY passed the bill legalizing late-term abortion, have resulted in some high emotions. I don’t watch much news, but even I have seen reactions everywhere. I was horrified when I heard the VA governor, in talking about how “late” late-term could mean, basically advocate exposing unwanted children–choosing to kill them after birth if they were unwanted because of physical issues.

We have an emotional response to that. We’re supposed to have an emotional response to that.
But what is the emotional response supposed to be?

My husband and I were talking about this on the way home from church. Those of us who believe that life begins at conception must, therefore, believe that abortion is killing. And since it’s purposeful killing, premeditated, against someone not engaged in war, or who is not threatening the life of another…yes, I believe it does meet the definition of murder. BUT.

But.
If we truly believe life is sacred…that has to apply to the mother too, right? We have to look at those who are debating and decide on abortion and love them just as much as we love the idea of their child. We have to be horrified, not just at the thought of ending a baby’s life, but at the thought of a mother feeling so hopeless that she would consider it. We need to learn how to open our arms wide and support those who find themselves in such a situation rather than just shaking a fist and calling anyone who would do so a murderer.
Many people do this. And many people think that, through their heated words, everyone just knows that they’re outraged at the act, not that they hate the person committing it.
But friends–those people can’t tell the difference. Because when someone is screaming at us in rage, all we know is that we have two choices: we can fight them back, or we can run away.
Neither of these is the response the Church wants people to have. So why do we continue shouting?
The emotion though…we can’t–and shouldn’t–just shut it down. So what do we do? What is the correct emotional response?
As I contemplated this, I remembered in the Gospels where Jesus, not long before his trial, pauses outside the city and weeps over Jerusalem. Weeps for the people who refuse to believe. Weeps for the prophets they’ve killed. Weeps for what He knows is to come.

Ah. Yes. That is the response that is appropriate. Not outrage–sorrow.

Anger, my friends, will do nothing for the causes we believe in. But sorrow…sorrow is something most of those mothers feel too. They feel it when they realize they’re pregnant. They feel it when they decide to go to that clinic. They feel it later when they look back on what they’ve done. Calling them a murderer is not going to bring them to the arms of our Savior, friends. But crying with them–wrapping them in our arms and mourning–that’s a different story.
I remember in college one day, looking around at all those people who didn’t believe like I did, who thought sex was just for fun and nothing to take seriously, I was moved to tears (which is very unusual for me) because they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand the beauty of what God created. They didn’t understand how sacred their bodies were supposed to be. They didn’t understand the value and worth they have, which ought to be protected. 
And it’s the same thing here. They don’t understand. They don’t understand how these decisions will affect them for the rest of their lives. They don’t understand that the panic, the pain, the fear is so small compared to the regret and mourning that consumes most of the women who go through with an abortion.
They don’t understand. And this is NOT cause for outrage–this is cause for sorrow. Full, profound, soul-deep sorrow.
Now legislators might deserve some of the outrage, as might the Church for making so many women think they sit in judgment over them, making them think a private, secret appointment is better than living with people looking down their noses for the next two decades. But the women? I think Jesus had something to say about how to treat them. And I believe it began with, “He who is without sin…” 
So often in church, we speak out against the sin without thinking about the heart of the sinner. We’re just so outraged, so horrified, that we don’t pause to think about who might be sitting there, bearing our accusation, feeling hated and reviled and condemned because of a choice made decades, years, months, or just weeks ago. People who don’t feel loved. People who don’t feel there’s a difference between what they did and who they are. Certainly not in our eyes.
The world has enough outrage, my friends. We who follow Christ need to choose something different. We need to #BeBetter. We need to show His love and support them, bear their burdens, and make it clear that we love them, not just the child in their womb. Cry with them. Embrace them. Don’t cast stones at the choices they’ve made or are considering. Instead, mourn with them for what they lost because they didn’t understand. Be there. Support. Encourage. 
Outrage divides–but sorrow…shared sorrow will knit us together.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.Romans 12:9-15 (NIV)