Last year I had great fun with my “38 Things” post, and on my anniversary in June I had a blast with “20 things” about marriage. So of course, I have to keep up the tradition and give you “39 Things” from this past year. =) My birthday is on Saturday, but I figure I’ll post it a couple days early so it’s on my usual day. These are in pretty much random order, but here we go. Let’s dive in!

1. I’m now a D-Mom
For those of you with no reason to know, that means a mom of a Type 1 Diabetic. This is without question the biggest change of the last year, and one I certainly didn’t plan on or want…but which has had some surprising blessings. My son Rowyn, 12 at the time, was life-flighted to Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital on September 26, 2020, in what’s called DKA–Diabetic Keto-Acidosis. Basically, his body had decided to attack the insulin-producing cells in his pancreas, which means he can no longer produce his own insulin, which in turn means his cells can’t get the sugars they need to survive. To compensate he began to break down fats, which released an acid called ketones into his body; normal people can then burn those ketones, but that requires insulin, which he was no longer producing, so instead they built up in his system and became toxic. After 5 days in the hospital, we emerged equipped to handle this new insulin-dependent life. It was quite a learning curve. I was exhausted for months. But as we approach 1 year of living with diabetes, I’m getting to the point where I’m not just seeing the struggles and the work and the exhaustion…I’m also seeing how strong and responsible Rowyn has become, I’ve seen the encouragement and support within the diabetic community, and I’ve learned so much. The biggest of which has nothing to do with counting carbs or calculating insulin doses. No, it’s more…

2. We All Have a Thing
Living with something as life-altering as insulin-dependent diabetes has shown me that we all have a “thing.” Something we struggle with. Something we battle. Something that’s shaped us. Something that brings us to our knees before the Lord. Something we’re passionate about. Something we’re willing to stand up and fight for. And we don’t generally understand each other’s “thing” until or unless we live it for ourselves. But we CAN. We can understand, at the very least, that we each have something like this, even if we don’t know the details of living with it. We can be more compassionate. We can give people the benefit of the doubt. We can ask questions, not only about the struggles of those around us, but about how we can help and support each other. And we can know, no matter what the mountain we’re climbing, that God will use it to shape us into the people He needs us to be to do the work He’s called us to do.

3. Checking In
For the last year-ish, my best friend/critique partner Stephanie and I have been doing weekly check-ins. Now, let me explain, LOL. We chat via Google Chat pretty much every day. But each Friday, we’ve been having a set time to talk specifically about the work we’ve done in the past week and share our goals for the week to come. Often we’ll do this over Zoom, so we actually get to see each other, which is nice. And the practice has proven SO HELPFUL! Not only does having a list of goals for each week help keep us on track, but listing out what we’ve actually done helps us to see that those weeks that feel frustrating and unproductive usually aren’t…but that sometimes we didn’t accomplish as much as we thought we did, too. Having it all in writing, and then sharing it with a friend who holds us accountable, is just a fabulous practice, and one I look forward to continuing indefinitely.

4. 25 Books and Counting
Last year I’d mentioned turning in my 25th book to my publisher. Well, this year I get to say I officially have 25 titles in print…and more in the works.

5. Ongoing Harry Potter-dom
Last year I’d mentioned that I’d begun reading the Harry Potter series, largely because I was tired of not knowing what people were talking about. 😉 I’d listened to the first couple on audio and was enjoying them but not in love or anything. Well, at this point I’ve read six of the seven, and I’m a much more avid fan! I’m making myself space them out and read other things in between, but wow–the series really does get better and better as they go. I’ve switched from audio to paperbacks, and I have to say, though, that those enormous later books put a real strain on my wrist, LOL. 😉

6. My Happy Place
Sometimes, the moment you come up with an idea, you know it’s a winner. That was the case with the “My Happy Place” design I created last autumn. I promptly put it on tees, totes, and even a coffee mug, and I said, “I think these will be popular.” I was right! Within weeks of announcing it, this design outsold everything else I’ve done. And I gotta say, I wear my long-sleeved tee constantly in cool weather, and we fight over who gets the mugs each day. 😉

7. Another story nearly 20 years in the making
I have so many unpublished books just lounging around my computer, but none so dear to me as the one I’ve called Yesterday’s Tides. I wrote it originally as a contemporary right after graduating college in 2004, and for years I’ve been contemplating how to best turn it into a historical, going so far as to plant my hero in my codebreaking world of Room 40. 😉 And I am SO THRILLED that this year I sold the book to Bethany House! I’ll start writing it next month, and I cannot wait!!

8. These Pretzels
I tried these Prince & Spring peanut butter filled pretzels from Boxed.com on a total whim a few months ago–I needed a few more dollars in my order to qualify for free shipping. And oh my gracious. The whole family is addicted. These are by far the best PB-filled pretzels I’ve ever had and we keep joking that we could just eat nothing else all day and be totally happy. (Haven’t tried that yet, but seriously…)

9. Seeing the Story
The events of the last year combined in my head with the release of Dreams of Savannah and the writing of To Treasure an Heiress, both of which touch on how we’re shaped by stories. Not just fictional ones, but also the ones that brought our families and communities to where we are today. These thoughts led me to create Seeing the Story, a site where YOU can share your stories either in writing or as an audio or video recording. It’s still growing, but I really believe in the idea!

10. 20 Years
This year David and I celebrated 20 years of marriage! Woot! You can read my musings on that here. =)

11. We Have a Driver!
Xoe turned 15 this year, which in West Virginia means she can get her learner’s permit. Which she has done. =) So this summer especially, we’re working on teaching our girl how to drive, which I’ll admit is terrifying–not because she isn’t doing a fabulous job, but…yeah, you get it. How is she old enough for this??

12. Dreaming Big
Last summer David and I both read Dream Big by Bob Goff and loved it SO MUCH that we ended up doing the workshop with our church and then hosting an online version too. What a blessing! We love to explore what God-given dreams are in our hearts and help others to do the same.

13. Dexcom
Another diabetes-related one, yes. 😉 Blood sugars in a Type 1 are constantly fluctuating, which can be dangerous. We have to check them frequently…or get a continuous monitor to do it for us. We now have the Dexcom, one of those monitors, and it’s such a blessing! We can now look on our phone any minute and see what his blood sugar is, which means not only peace of mind, but the ability to be proactive. So grateful for this technology!

14. I have a kid who’s taller than me!
I’ve been waiting and waiting to be able to say this, and you wouldn’t think it would be too difficult, given that I am a towering (ahem) 5’3″. 😉 But Xoe actually stopped growing at 5’1″ so she could never claim this. Rowyn finally can though! Which means no more excuses not to put things away on the high shelves. 😉

15. Big Screen at Home
We’ve been trying to be intentional with our family time, so we decided it would be nice to have a way to watch shows and movies together. The TV we had in the living room is ancient and was in desperate need of replacing, which meant we seldom wanted to watch anything out there. So we decided to spend Christmas money on replacing it…and that for the price of a TV of the same size as the one we had, we could get a projector and screen. So we now have a true big screen in the living room, and we love it! It’s retractable, so other than when we’re actively watching, you wouldn’t know it was there. So cool.

16. The Expanse!!!
One of the things we’ve watched on said screen is The Expanse, a sci-fi show on Amazon Prime. And OH MY GOODNESS. The whole family was addicted, and we can’t wait for the next season. My best friend Stephanie tipped me off to this one, and she was so right. Not only is the plot riveting, the writing spectacular, and the cinematography spot-on, the characters are so well developed that they just stick with you forever. Love this show!

17. David working toward his dream
I’ve mentioned in various places how grateful I am that, after decades of supporting our family while I chased my dream, David finally gets to chase his. In addition to running our publishing company, he has a passion for film, and this last year he’s made some amazing strides toward realizing those dreams, including working with a ministry to produce their talk show, which goes out on 26 satellite networks, if I recall correctly. He’s also working on some projects of his own. So cool!

18. Xoe the makeup artist
While working on the above-mentioned show, the crew had need of a makeup artist, and our daughter Xoe got to go along with David several times now to train in and then actually do some for-the-camera makeup! She’s always loved makeup and what you can do with it, so this is really cool. Plus she’s learning all about TV production, which we decided counted as a high school class. 😉

19. And Xoe the artist
In addition to makeup, Xoe’s just a flat-out artist! She’s done illustrating for us before, but this year she had the chance to do a watercolor drawing for one of Chrism Press’s first releases. Here’s the sketch, and the cover too.

20. My new desk area
So after dreaming for a while about how nice it must be to have dedicated work space (I’ve been working from the kitchen table for 8 years), I eventually realized that the desk we had in the kitchen for Rowyn’s homeschooling was NEVER used for such, so why didn’t I just take that over?? I set it up in January, and it’s been amazing! I now have a beautiful view out the window, I can keep my stuff organized, and I don’t have to move everything off the table every night for dinner. YAY!!! (Downside: this desk belonged to the cats for the last 7 years, and they did not give it up graciously.)

21. My last year reading to Rowyn for school
So for the last 11 years, at least an hour of my day has been spent reading to my kids for school. We’ve used the Sonlight curriculum, which involves parent read-alouds up until 8th grade. I have loved doing this! But Rowyn just finished 7th grade, which means next year he’ll be entirely independent. No more Mama reading! Bittersweet. I’m going to miss it, but at the same time I’m glad to have more time for work and am proud that both kids have moved on to that level. =) Though I’m now going to be much more purposeful about checking their progress on other assignments! I was terrible about that this last year…

22. Keynoting
Ever since I attended my first writers conferences and listened to the amazing keynote speakers, I dreamed of someday being in a position to keynote. Ten years ago, I had no idea if or how that would ever happen. But it has! I received my first invitation to keynote for the Oregon Christian Writers fall 2020 conference…which obviously ended up online. And I ended up not doing any keynote addresses, just taught some classes and had a (wonderful) live Q&A session instead, which was a real blessing. And I’ve just received an invitation to keynote for the spring 2022 Lancaster conference, which (God willing) will be in person! I’m excited to speak to other writers…and it’s also just so humbling and amazing to realize that those goals I set so long ago are beginning to be realized.

23. Classes and Workshops
Last autumn I decided to record my classes on writing and offer them for sale on my website. It took me months to get them all recorded, but it was fun to do–and I’ve gotten some encouraging feedback from writers who have taken them! I’ve also discovered it’s handy to be able to direct conference directors to that page on my site to choose which classes of mine they’d like me to present in person. And also, for those who take the classes, I’ve been doing…

24. Live Q&As
I have live Q&As for my classes and all things writing-related via Zoom once a month, and those have been so much fun! I have a couple regulars who join me for these Wednesday night events, a few who have come once or twice, and regardless of how many of us there are, it’s always a fun conversation.

25. Xoe’s writing skill
And while I’m thinking about budding writers, it’s been a joy this last year to see Xoe fostering her love for writing too. She’s been working on sci-fi and fantasy novels, and when she lets me read them, I’m always impressed at her voice and talent.

26. Rowyn’s world-building
Rowyn, on the other hand, still hates reading and writing…but that doesn’t stop him from telling stories in his own way. He’s been building a multi-verse in his head for years and frequently builds bits and pieces of it in his video games. I love going back and seeing the remarkable buildings he’s created in Minecraft–almost always part of his storyworld. His media may be different from mine, but he’s living out his creativity regardless!

27. Star-gazing together on vacation
Last September the kids and I spent hours up on the rooftop deck of our rental house, star-gazing and talking about stories. It was an amazing time that I will cherish forever. Not just pulling up the starmap on my phone and identifying all the things we could see in the sky, though that was fun…but it was also the first time Rowyn told me about this multi-verse he’s been designing. He and Xoe were brainstorming together, playing with names suitable for galactic entities and locations, and I was just lying there grinning like an idiot to hear them.

28. Bittersweet book stuff–Culper Ring
Well, I’ve had another series go out of print. This is inevitable in the writing world, but it’s always bittersweet to get those rights handed back to me. It’s sad to sever my last official ties to Harvest House, a company I so enjoyed working with. But it’s also fun to get to design covers for the series myself and put them all up in my store.

29. New phones for all
We did not get our kids cell phones when they were younger. And in fact, we wouldn’t have gotten Rowyn one now, except that we had to for his Dexcom. Our original plan had been to get them each a flip-phone when they started driving (fewer distractions than a smart phone), but Ro needed a smart phone for that app, and we couldn’t exactly not get Xoe one then…and David and I both needed new phones to run the Dexcom Follow app too. So we all got new ones. And I admit, it’s nice to be able to call or text them when we’re apart and check in. =)

30. Racial Reconciliation
Last summer and fall I decided I wanted to be more proactive about learning about racism and racial reconciliation, so I’ve read quite a lot of books, joined some Facebook groups, and generally try to make conscious choices every day to consider my lens and how I can alter it. I admit that some of my efforts got a bit, er, interrupted by the advent of diabetes in our house around the same time, but it’s something I continue to think and pray about and look for ways to contribute meaningfully to.

31. Intentional
Not sure why I’m putting this so low on the list, ha ha, but my word of the year has been “intentional.” And I’m really making an effort day by day and week by week to live it out. I’m being more intentional about the spaces in my home and how to use them, about my time and how I’m spending it, about my foods, about my books and study, about my faith and prayer life, about my family…some parts were easier than others to do this with, but I do love looking back over the year thus far and seeing how I’ve made choices with purpose.

32. Keto
When my husband and I were talking about being intentional in January, I mentioned that I’d like to be more intentional with my food too. Yeah…I was failing at that pretty spectacularly, I’ll admit. And I was also getting steadily more tired and exhausted, despite sleeping enough hours. My muscles felt like lead when I tried to exercise, and I wasn’t sure what to do. My doctor verified that my thyroid levels were normal, so that just left me scratching my head. I did some research and kept coming across the keto diet–which I was familiar with a bit because my best friend’s son was on this medical diet for years to cure his epilepsy (and it did!). The keto diet resets your metabolism, so we decided it was worth a try to see what it could do for my energy. I’m only a couple weeks in, but thus far it’s going well. I’m spending a lot of time cooking homemade meals, and doing a LOT of math, but my energy levels are improving, I’m losing weight, and I’m honestly enjoying the foods. We only intend to do it for a few months, but I’m praying it accomplishes what I need it to!

33. My desk chair
This goes along with the dedicated desk I finally have. It also involves a real, honest-to-goodness desk chair! I’ve had this chair for years over at our office, but when I set up the desk in the kitchen, we decided to bring it over. Oh my gracious. After a decade of working every day from a kitchen chair, this thing feels divine. (The cats think so too–see the picture above.)

34. Passport renewals
This summer we had to get our passports renewed…which reminds me so clearly of the passing of time. We got our passports so that we could go to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls for our tenth anniversary…and then we got the kids’ passports in 2016 so we could all go to England and Paris for our 15th anniversary…and now another five years has gone by! And all those renewals came due at the same time. The new ones just came back to us, so we’re now free to roam about the world again. 😉

35. Painted edges!
One of the fun things I’ve stumbled into this year is painting the edges of my books. Xoe and I have been wanting to do this for over a year and finally started experimenting with it this spring. It is SO MUCH FUN! Also, I just adore how they’re turning out! They’re available for sale in my shop too. And have also inspired me to get…

36. Purple-foil certificates of authenticity!!
These things are so pretty they just deserve their own number on my list. Aren’t they cool?? I designed them and had them printed at a place specializing in foil printing, and they’re just gorgeous in person. Each hand-painted book gets one—signed, sealed, dated, and numbered! And also…

37. An Embosser
The certs also required (obviously) an embossed seal, so I also designed and purchased this cool stamp and embosser with my logo on it, and a roll of gold foil stickers. I felt so cool when I opened it, LOL.

38. Notes from readers
It’s not as though this is new from this year, but when I look back over the highlights of the last twelve months, many of them are the emails, letters in the mail, and messages on social media from people who have read my books and then gotten in touch to tell me how they touched them. So often we write in a bubble, and these notes are reminders that though the work is solitary while we’re doing it, the purpose is to reach out into the world. I’m always humbled and awed at how God uses my stories for His purposes.

39. One more year until 40…
In my head I think I’m still 28, but nope. One more year until I hit the big 4-0. I decided over a decade ago that I was always going to embrace my age, whatever it may be, so no hiding it around here! Still, the 30-decade has been pretty sweet. Here’s praying it wraps up well with a year full of joys!

“And immediately [after feeding the 5,000] He compelled His disciples to get into the boat and to go before Him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while He dismissed the crowd. And having said farewell to them, He departed to the mountain to pray. And evening having come, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and He was alone on the land. And He saw them straining in their rowing, for the winds were against them, so at about the fourth watch of the night, He came to them, walking on the lake…”
Mark 6:45-48a

My dad highlighted these verses last weekend, inspired by a quote from Oswald Chambers. The point that Chambers made was this: when God himself calls us to a task, we expect that success will follow. The disciples certainly would have here. They’d just returned from being sent out two-by-two and had returned triumphant at how even the demons trembled before them. They’d just seen Jesus feed a crowd of 5,000 men plus women and children with 5 loaves and 2 fish. They were riding the high. They were euphoric. They were filled with the victory of Christ’s authority.

Then we get to this section. Jesus compelled them–as in, forced them, made them–get into a boat without Him. He made them go before Him to Bethsaida. The choice of words here makes it clear that this wasn’t what they wanted to do, but He insisted. He needed that time on the mountain, just Him and the Father, to pray and be refreshed after what had just come before. So they went, probably against their will but obedient nonetheless.

Then it happened. The storm set upon them. The winds were against them. The struggle began.

Who hasn’t been there? We’re following what we felt so sure was the prodding, the prompting, the guidance of the Lord…but then the storms come. The winds are against us. Every foot we struggle to move forward feels like a fight–maybe such a fight that we’re slipping backward, unable to prevail against those winds. We’re still trying, but we’re exhausted. Our muscles are shaking with exertion and still not doing enough. It looks hopeless.

That may well be the point where we cry out, “Lord, why? Why did you call me to this? Did I even hear you right? Was this a mistake? Maybe I should just turn around…”

But I love the example of these verses. First, that Jesus was watching from the mountain. Though He went to be alone, to pray, He still kept an eye on His friends. And friends, He’s still keeping an eye on us today too, even though He’s with the Father. He didn’t just abandon the disciples to the wind and waves then, and He hasn’t abandoned us now.

Still–He knew that storm was going to come up. Why did He insist they go straight into it? Why does He call us to a path that leads us straight into the teeth of a tempest sometimes?

If you’re familiar with that passage, then you already know the answer. Jesus does the remarkable, the miraculous by walking on the water. Then He does something even more amazing–when Peter asks for proof, He calls him to join him on the water. I’ve blogged about this before, and how I believe this was so amazing because it demonstrated that Christ had the power to bestow His authority on others, which the prophets before Him could not do. But this new way of viewing it in terms of our expected success made me realize something new.

Sometimes He calls us into the storm because we NEED it. We need it because through the storm, He’s going to show us–and others–something new. In this case, He showed Peter that he could do the miraculous too, and taught him a lesson about keeping his eyes on Jesus that I daresay stuck with him for the rest of His life. He taught the disciples that He was always with them, that He was the Son of God, that together they could do the impossible. And He taught every generation to come all these same lessons too.

If He hadn’t forced them out onto that lake, into the storm…those lessons wouldn’t have been taught. They wouldn’t have been changed. Their faith wouldn’t have strengthened. They wouldn’t have known, then and there, that this Man was the Son of God.

So when we’re in a season of storms and winds and struggle, we need to remember to start looking around. Look for Jesus, coming to you through the wind and water. He’s there, I promise. Because He’s been watching you all the while. Maybe it seems like He’s walking right by you, like He nearly did with the disciples on the lake. But they cried out to Him, and we can too. And then He’ll be there, right there, inviting us to walk with Him.

Sometimes, friends, our faith isn’t strengthened and His goals for us reached despite the storm. Sometimes they’re grown and accomplished because of the storm. Because we need it to grow into who He wants us to be…and to see Him for who He really is.

A couple years ago, a newsletter email came into my inbox from Tricia Goyer. It was on New Year’s Day, I believe, and was introducing a new Facebook group she’d created, called Write That Book! (Great group, by the way). But part of her intro was a musing that has stuck with me all these years.

She said that God did not create us as blank slates. He created us with predilections and leaning, with yearnings and talents. He created us to be good at certain things and not so good at others. There is, of course, always room to improve, we can learn skills we weren’t necessarily born with, and how we were raised certainly plays a part in what we have the opportunity to explore.

But some people are simply music lovers. Some people are storytellers. Some people are artists. Some people are mathematicians. Some people are mechanics.

Even when it seems unlikely that someone with a particular talent will rise out of the shadows of a certain life they were born into, those things will shine through. You can find storytellers and artists and mechanical geniuses among every class.

Because God didn’t make us as blank slates. He created us with a purpose–for a purpose. He created us as rich, complex, beautiful people.

So if God created us to have a yearning toward X, Y, or Z … why do we so often ignore it? Push it aside? Why do we think it less important than this other thing that could maybe make us some quick money or keep us in insurance? We’re told over and over in the Bible to trust Him for our needs and simply follow Him.

Well, I’m going to say here and now that following Him means living out what He’s called us to, what He’s made us for. Following Him meant, for Peter, being bold and daring; it meant, for Paul, traveling the known world; it meant, for Michelangelo, carving a magnificent biblical hero; it meant, for Bach, writing music about His death and resurrection. It means, for me, writing stories.

What does it mean for you?

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve spoken to over the years who view their talents and loves as less than. Not necessarily less than someone else’s (though that comes up too!), but less than the “ought to” that the world tells us we should be focused on. They feel guilty for the time spent creating or exploring this thing they love. They feel like they have no right to do it, and they ought to be focusing on more “practical” things instead.

Well, friends, I’m going to echo the wise Tricia Goyer here, and say “God did not make you a blank slate.” He made you with these loves and yearnings. He made you to be creative as He is creative, in His image. He made you to glorify Him through the passions He has put on your heart. So when you do that, you are living out His calling and glorifying Him through your actions.

And when you don’t…?

Have we ever really paused to consider that? That if He created us with a beautiful singing voice and a love for music, we are in fact denying Him if we don’t use it to lift those voices in praise to the Almighty? Imagine what it would mean for all of us today if David had put aside his music-making and poetry-writing dreams because it was deemed impractical for a shepherd, or that he ought to be focusing solely on running a kingdom?

Well guess what–God loves you every bit as much as He loved David. God created you just as carefully, just as beautifully. God created each of us with our own special way to praise Him. Maybe that’s through music or numbers or words or mechanical things; maybe it’s through growing things or sewing things or making meals to feed His children; maybe it’s through teaching or preaching or running or swimming. Whatever it is, when we’re living out our full potential–the potential HE created–we are pleasing Him.

What is it you have always loved to do, that you take joy in? Are you delighting Him and delighting in Him by walking in those joys?

We’ve all heard some version of this wisdom, whether it’s an anecdote, an object lesson, or a punchline: if you want to feel better about your problems, just look at someone else’s. You’re going to be far happier with your own than theirs.

The irony, of course, being that the same is true in reverse, most of the time. Everyone prefers the “devil they know,” once they get over the “grass is greener” phenomenon. Right? We always think someone else has it better…until we hear or see what their woes are, then we snap into defensive mode: “Wow, glad I don’t have to deal with that!”

This has always rubbed me wrong, but I’ve never really taken the time to really work out why…or what the better way is. But I think it’s an important thing to examine.

I readily admit I’ve done this as much as the next person. I’ve seen someone else’s trying situation and said, Thank you, Lord, that I don’t have to deal with that! I don’t know if I could handle it. The irony, of course, being when then I have to learn it for myself. That happens quite a lot, doesn’t it? I seriously had the thought not two weeks before my son’s Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis that I was so glad my family was generally healthy and we didn’t have any strange dietary requirements. Cue counting every single carb that enters his mouth and having to figure out the ratio of insulin that will keep him healthy.

So now, let’s take a look at the heart of this issue. What it comes down to of course is that old enemy of mine: comparison. After struggling with a competitive spirit and the pitfalls of comparison all my life, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that Bob Goff has it right when he says, “Comparison is a punk.” IT IS. Sometimes it’ll make you feel good, like in the above “wisdom,” but it’s a trap. ALWAYS. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re walking a line with a cliff on either side that we can stumble over.

Cliff 1: I’m Better
The “problem wisdom” here assumes that you’ll fall over this cliff and be so relieved that you only have your own problems to deal with and not theirs. Yikes. So glad I don’t have to deal with x or y or z. So glad I don’t have that issue or problem. So glad I’m not them. Thank you, Lord!

Cliff 2: They’re Better
But it can just as easily topple the other way, right? Oh man, look how much better they have it! How successful they are! They don’t have any problems! Lord, why? Why do I have it so bad? Why does nothing good ever happen to me? How am I supposed to praise you through this??

One cliff is no less dangerous than the other; but the fact that this “just look at their problems” wisdom commands you to veer away from one cliff and straight off the other is what sends warning bells a-clanging in my soul. Because a cliff is a cliff, my friends. Comparison is dangerous whichever direction it leads you.

I’ve examined the defeat side before (you can read a guest post I wrote about it for my literary agency’s blog several years ago here), but today I want to focus on that “victorious” side. Why is this dangerous?

Well there’s the obvious pride factor, first of all. Any comparison that leads you to an “I’m Better” mindset can send you straight into that puffed-up pride that we know God warns us against. Maybe when you’re looking specifically at problems you have, this doesn’t seem like a true danger, but I think it really is. Because while you may not be saying “I’m the best” you’re still saying, “I have it better than them.” You’re exalting yourself. You’re saying you’re more fortunate. You’re placing the value of your life on your circumstances. This is Bad News with a captial B-N. Because those circumstances WILL change, guaranteed.

But the second issue is that it affects the way you view your neighbor. You’re not looking at them with compassion, but with pity. You’re feeling sorry for them. You’re casting them down in your mind and deeming them less-than. You’re focusing on their misery. You’re valuing your neighbor according to THEIR circumstances.

But is that amputee defined by the limb they lost? I sure hope not. Is that person with an auto-immune disease defined by what they have to do or not do to regulate their body? Is that person with chronic pain defined by what level they are on the scale today?

NO. They are defined by the fact that God loves them and has called them His child. That person suffering from a physical or psychological or emotional situation is royalty in the kingdom of God, just like you.

We ALL have things we deal with. But here’s the thing: our problems are not what define us; they are what shape us into the people we need to be to do God’s work.

Sure, other people’s problems can look intimidating to us, because we don’t know how to live with them (yet, sometimes). But instead of being either overwhelmed by the mere thought, pitying them, or dismissing them because they don’t seem “real” compared to our problems, maybe instead we ought to ask ourselves, “What is God teaching them through this? What strength is He giving them? Is that a strength I lack? Is it one I need? Can I cultivate it? What can I learn from them? How do I love them through this issue? Is there a way I can show them how much God loves them, and how even this has made them more precious in His sight, not less?”

I think if we could honestly view others in that way, then we’d stop approaching the “less fortunate” as charity cases or people who “need us” and start viewing them as people who we can jointly serve and be served by. They may have something that requires a neighborly hand from you…but I guarantee you they also have a strength that YOU would benefit from.

And of course, here’s the real clincher: if we stop viewing problems–our and theirs–as immense burdens we have to bear and instead view them as what we need to learn from, the things that will make us stronger, our entire outlook is going to change. And we’ll stop saying “woe is me” altogether…and start saying, “Praise you, Lord.”

What problems are your facing today? What problems are your family, friends, and neighbors facing? How can you change your perspective on them and view them all through a lens of God’s love?

Way back in the day, when I wrote Jewel of Persia, I had to study not only the book of Esther and Old Testament history, but Persian history as well. It was interesting to learn that Xerxes was called “the king of kings” because of the vastness of his empire, and the fact that he had so many countries subjugated to his own–there were other kings, but they ranked beneath him.

Which of course got me thinking about why we call God the King of kings. Because there are always going to be other rulers on earth, authority over us. But He is above all of them. Makes sense, right?

In the story of Esther, it’s pretty clear how powerful and terrifying the king can be. And Xerxes was known for his generosity! But still, she was taking her life into her hands when she went before him without being summoned. To us today, this seems a bit weird, right? I mean, she was his wife. No, more than that–his queen. She had plenty of authority of her own.

But not enough to counteract his. Not enough that, had she caught him in a bad mood, he might not depose her or worse. He was the king–one of the absolute varieties who literally held the power of life and death in his hand. And she was but one of his wives. He had hundreds. What if they all just barged into the throne room whenever they wanted a favor or had something to tell him? It would have been chaos.

The same is true of other ancient kings. They were fearsome. They were intimidating. Because they were powerful. Their authority meant they could do pretty much anything they wanted.

So naturally, the people of God viewed Him the same way. He was, after all, the true King of kings. He held ALL life and death in His hands.

This power is not something to trifle with. This power is not something to ignore. This power is not something to assume yourself immune to. Because all too often we see what happened to those who did that–they were struck down, given over to enemies, cursed.

God is fearsome. Awesome. Terrifying. God is the sort of love beyond our comprehension, that kind that requires justice and purity and holiness, not just grace and mercy.

Just because we’re in the age of grace, that doesn’t mean His nature has changed. He is still the King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is still that terrifying deity who holds life and death, blessing and cursing in His hands. He is still the God whose throne room cannot be breached by force of will.

But do you know who could always enter before the king? His heir. Now, ancient kings had a ton of children, most of the time, and they couldn’t all just fly into the throne room and launch themselves into his arms (see that note above about chaos). But once he had appointed an heir, things changed. That heir had to be there. He had to learn. He had a portion of the king’s authority, and in His absence from a region, all his authority. The heir could come and go as he pleased, do as he pleased, but with a certain understanding–that he was acting on behalf of the king, and that he could do so only because the king had granted him that power. Their wills were to be one. Their stances one. Their authority one.

You obviously know where I’m going with this, right? Christ is the heir. He can enter the throne room. But the King and his Heir did something amazing when Jesus came to earth and died for us–they named us co-heirs. Not just other princes and princesses, who might be loved and might receive gifts and might be allowed entrance now and then to their presence. No, co-heirs with Christ. Do we get what that means?? It means we also have that authority–but only because they’ve granted it to us. It means we have that authority when we share their will, share their goals, share their kingdom-oriented passions. We can approach God, not just because He is merciful and loving, but because He has appointed us as responsible parties, let’s say, for His kingdom.

That doesn’t mean we’re there to frolic and play with the crown jewels. That means we’re there to get down to business. We’re there to strategize with Him. We’re there to carry out His goals and visions. We’re there to do His bidding and be His emissaries to the world.

We can approach His throne without fear, because we’re authorized to be there and share in His authority…but at the same time, we need to remember that there is fear in approaching Him, because He has ALL authority. We should be always aware of how fearsome He is, and we should be aware of it in part because He’s granted that same power to us. If we’re to wield it effectively, lovingly, mercifully, justly, we need to understand it. Appreciate it. Respect it.

If we’re not walking in that authority, are we really acting like His heirs? But at the same time, if we’re misusing it, are we truly being the emissary of the King? If we ignore that it’s real, don’t recognize His awe-inspiring power, then we bind our own hands–because if we don’t recognize His power, we can’t accept it for ourselves, it means nothing. And yet when He looks upon us and calls us His child and tells us we are co-heirs with Christ, we also can’t just shuffle our feet and hide our face and say, “Thanks for the welcome, Lord, but I’m just going to hide in the corner.”

That’s not what the heir does. The heir goes out. The heir does business. The heir learns how to run the Kingdom.

What are we doing today to run the Kingdom for the King?