“I have a confession.”

When we see words like that today, what do we do? Do you sit forward a little? Straighten your spine? Click to see who is confessing to what? And what do we expect to find? Often, something silly, right? Something tongue-in-cheek. When you saw my title here, you might have thought I was going to confess something bookish, something funny, something silly.

What would you do if I actually confessed my sins? The dark thoughts? The selfishness? The times I judge? The failures to keep Christ first in my life? What would you do if I confessed my disrespect and my dishonesty and my disregard for what should be kept primary? Well, maybe you wouldn’t be too surprised–I do tend to talk about vulnerable things here, LOL. But in general, we don’t expect those kinds of confessions today, do we?

Something I’ve noticed–and I’m not the only one–in the modern church is that sins only tend to be talked about when they have been overcome and defeated and become a testimony to strength. We don’t see people getting up in front of the church very often and confessing to a current struggle…which means that too often, we have to struggle alone. Pride and individualism have snuck their way in, and the very thought of admitting our weaknesses and failures out loud to another human being is enough to make our “must be perfect” society cringe.

So we say, “I’ll confess it to God. That’s all I have to do. Christ is my only mediator.” And He is, yes…but James 5:16 doesn’t say “confess your sins to God.” It says “confess your sins to one another.”

Why?

Sit with that question a minute. Seriously. Ponder why we’re told to confess to each other, not just silently to God. What is the purpose?

Is it to embarrass us?
Of course not.

Is it to shame us?
No.

Is it to drive a wedge between us and those around us, who will now be judging us?
On the contrary.

It’s the exact opposite of that. The purpose of confessing to each other is to unify us as a whole, not as individuals. It’s to strengthen the church by making the members one. When we know each other’s problems, we are to pray for each other, strengthen each other, work for each other.

I will admit that when we were contemplating joining the Catholic church, the idea of confession was a hurdle for me. And even now, several years in, it isn’t easy. But one of our very first weeks sitting in our new church, this penitential act was spoken, and it struck me and helped me reframe it.

“I confess to almighty God,
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done, and in what I have
failed to do;
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers and sister,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.”

Look at those words. Said aloud, together, these words don’t get into specifics of how each of us have sinned–but it’s admitting that we have. We’ve thought sinful things. We’ve said them. We’ve done them. We’ve failed to do good. And it’s our fault. We can’t cast the blame onto anyone else. We did it. Each of us. And that bears repeating.

My fault. My fault. My fault. We sometimes have to say it multiple times for that to really sink in. And in fact, when we say this prayer, we make a fist and press it to our heart with each utterance of fault. It’s meant to strike us right in the heart. It should. Because we all sin, even when we’re saved. We still think and say and do things we shouldn’t. We still fail to think and say and do things we should.

So…what do we do about it?

The first step is the second part of that prayer. We ask for help. Of God, yes, but not just of God. He did not come ONLY to establish individual relationships with us–He came to BUILD A CHURCH. A community of faith. So we ask each other for help. We ask those who have come before and who have achieved final victory to pray for us (I know this is unique to the Catholic and other Orthodox faith, but that’s all “praying to the saint” means–asking them to pray for us), and we ask EACH OTHER, the people around us now, to pray for us.

Whenever we pray this together, I make it a point to look at the people around me for this part. To see them. To realize that though I don’t know the particular sins they’re struggling with, I know they’re struggling with something, because we all are. And I lift them up before our God. I pray for them, as I trust they are truly praying for me.

And it’s a beautiful thing. Because while I have no trouble asking people to pray for my health or my job or my family…I have a harder time asking for them to pray that I become less judgmental. Or that I resist the temptation to think about things I shouldn’t. Or…fill in the blank. It’s hard to ask for help in our sins. Easier to ask in our misfortunes.

So what about those specific, named sins? There’s no place in that prayer recited in church for each person to shout out his or her sins (no complaints here, LOL). But that doesn’t mean that we don’t need to talk to someone about them. To unburden our hearts and be assured that we’re forgiven. To know someone is praying specifically.

And that’s why there has ALWAYS been confession in the church–because we need it. Did you know that C. S. Lewis even found a local vicar to hear his confession? It’s not part of the Anglican ritual, but he recognized the need, because it’s real. We need to be able to confess our sins to someone trusted. We need to hear them say, “Jesus loves you so much, and He is so glad that you long to be closer to Him. He forgives you and welcomes you.”

So do you want to hear my confession about going to confession? It’s something I always put off doing. Something I go to each time totally uncertain about what I’ll say. I mean, I haven’t committed murder or adultery or theft or any of the other Biggies. So I have to sit for a while in the quiet of the church and pray that the Holy Spirit will help me see my own soul with His clarity. To uncover the things that displease Him, that keep me from being fully aligned with His will.

And each time, I see. I see that I am too focused on the world and not enough on Him. I see that I am distracted, that I have failed to pray for those I should. I see where I’ve strayed from His perfect path. And then I go in and sit with one of my priests, and I say the words…and something amazing happens. This unemotional, stoic woman who rarely cries starts crying. This word-smith runs out of words. This proud person crumbles.

Then comes the moment of immeasurable beauty. One of my priests smiles and reminds me of how much Jesus loves me. Of how pleased He is that I’m there, humbling myself before Him. He encourages me to pray in specific ways, ways designed specifically for me, to draw me closer to Him and to my fellow-believers.

I walk out of that room lighter, each and every time. I walk out surrounded by the knowledge of His love, like a physical embrace. I walk out made new. Made stronger because I confessed to my weakness. Stronger through Him, not through me. And I also walk out feeling more a part of His Church, this faith community. Because the priest doesn’t just offer us Christ’s forgiveness, they offer the Church’s as well. They forgive us on behalf of each other, binding us together.

I readily confess that I was one of those Protestants that “had a problem with confession.” I readily confess that I still find it difficult. But you know what? I also confess that it has proven one of the sweetest gifts of my life. Confession truly is good for the soul…at least when it’s done for the right reasons. Not only to unburden ourselves, but to cleanse us of our sins. Not only to strengthen each of us individually, but to strengthen His Church.

Pray for me, friends. And I will pray for you. And together, we’ll walk in the strength of Christ.