Thoughtful About . . . Happiness and Joy

Thoughtful About . . . Happiness and Joy

by | Apr 18, 2019 | Thoughtful Thursdays

This past week, my church’s Wednesday night Bible study just began Philippians. Well, we didn’t really get much into the book itself; we read the intro from someone’s Bible, which said that the book was all about JOY, which is only to be found in Christ, as opposed to HAPPINESS, which is earthly.

This is something I’ve heard and read and come across is various ways over the years, as I’m sure you all have too. It’s an understanding that seems fine, right? We know that true joy comes from the Lord. We know that it’s not the same as happiness. 
But my husband asked a question that led us into what I found to be a fabulous conversation: Does that meant that you can’t experience joy unless you’re a Christian?

As we talked through it, the first step was in identifying times that we would classify as experiencing joy rather than happiness. The things that bring us joy. And the examples–relationships, family, security–all seemed to have something in common in my mind. They’re all things that humanity as a whole can experience, yes. But they’re all things given by God, and which God uses as examples of what His love is like.

That, however, wasn’t an epiphany big enough to make me want to talk about it. ? What made me decide to write more about it was this thought:
Happiness is when we’re being acted upon in a favorable way.
Joy is when we act out our love.
I’ve long thought happiness was best defined as circumstantial. This gorgeous spring weather we’ve been having makes me happy. Dinner with friends makes me happy. Seeing a good sales report makes me happy.
See those keywords? Things make us happy. It’s a result of the outside world acting in a specific way, creating circumstances that we find pleasant, that creates in us a good feeling or emotion. Now, there’s nothing at all wrong with this! Happiness is something we should certainly appreciate when it comes our way!
But happiness is a feeling, and more, it’s a feeling that depends on the world around us. So when the circumstances change…well, our happiness does too. We don’t all feel happy every single day, do we? When we’re on the phone with customer support for hours, when we’re cleaning up messes from pets or kids or a storm, when we’re sick or suffering from depression or anxiety, when we’re looking at bills and knowing the account balance isn’t big enough–well, we certainly don’t feel happy.
When we read or hear about joy, though, we’re told that it’s something more, something beyond happiness, something that we ought to be feeling even when we’re not happy. 
Ever hear that and just want to huff out a breath and demand, “HOW?!”
For starters, I don’t think we’re classifying it right when we say we ought to feel joy. Feeling isn’t the primary aspect of it. We ought, perhaps, to know joy. We ought to have joy. But I think most of all, we ought to be joy, act joyous, and spread joy.
Because do you know what every single joyous thing has in common? They involve us doing, acting, being rather than being acted upon. Instead of circumstances, joy is reliant on choices.

We choose to love our families, even when the kids are disobedient, when we’re in a rough patch with our spouse, when our parents don’t understand us, when our loved ones are ill and dying. We CHOOSE. And we ACT.

When circumstances are all against us and we choose to sing a praise song to God, that is joy.
When the plates are empty and we thank God for them as an opportunity for Him to show up and provide, that is joy.
When what we’ve lost outweighs what we have, but we turn our faces upward and say, “It’s all yours, Lord, I know you’re holding us in your hand,” that is joy.
When the baby keeps us up all night, and in the face of exhaustion, we sing another lullaby and cuddle them close, that is joy.
When you give even though you don’t know if it’ll be used wisely, simply to show someone you care, that is joy.
When you reach out, even though you’d rather curl up in a ball and shut out the world, that is joy.
Joy doesn’t always feel good. But it is good. It’s acting out love and faith, clinging with both hands to the promises, despite all the shadows and trials and struggles and pain.
Happiness might be something we pursue, working hard to line up those circumstances as best we can. But joy is something we can choose moment by moment. And when we’re so tired, weak, and overwhelmed that we don’t know how to grasp it anymore, that’s when we can turn to Him and say, “Be my joy, Lord. I don’t have any left of my own.”
Can you know joy apart from the Lord? Some, yes. I think you can–like all of His gifts to humanity, it’s available, along with Truth and Wisdom and Knowledge. Just as the world displays the knowledge of Him if you care to look for it, so does it offer the opportunity for joy. But it’s harder to grasp without Him as our foundation. It’s harder to hold to. But then, it’s hard when we do know Him too.

The best things always are.

Word of the Week – Mediocre

Word of the Week – Mediocre

by | Apr 15, 2019 | Word of the Week

So mediocre has meant the same thing since it entered English round about 1580: “of moderate quality, neither good nor bad.”
But I’d never really looked it up to realize where it comes from. Medi- of course means “middle” or “halfway” in Latin, which we know from other words like medium, etc. But what about the second half of the word? That comes from the Latin ocri, which means…”mountain.” Who knew? Mediocre is literally “halfway up the mountain.” From that literal meaning, the word has pretty much always meant “of middling height or station.”
I think what I like about this though is that “halfway up the mountain” implies (in my mind, at least) a journey. We all start at the bottom and hike our way up. Maybe we’re mediocre at something now, but that’s just because it’s a step along the way… ??

Thoughtful About . . . Speaking Foolishness – and Writing Your Story

Thoughtful About . . . Speaking Foolishness – and Writing Your Story

by | Apr 11, 2019 | Thoughtful Thursdays

After two weekends in a row away from home (which is when I’d usually have prepped blog posts), I’m still playing catch-up on the blog. So today, rather than just sharing my thoughts, I want to share some other people’s. =)
First is my husband, David. As I’m sure anyone who reads my posts can tell, we have a lot of awesome conversations. And they’re almost all begun by David–I’d usually be content to just sit there in my own little world, LOL. But David asks questions. David thinks things through (some might say too much, ha ha). David never assumes that the standard answer is the right one.
As the publisher at WhiteFire, he’s been doing a lot of thinking about stories and how they interact with the world. And I really love the articles he’s started writing. Two weeks ago, we launched the “From the Publisher’s Desk” blog at READ.WhiteFire-Publishing.com, and he talked about emotional counterfeiting (with a bonus review of the movie Unplanned). SUPER good thoughts about why some stories stay with us, resonate, and change us, and others…don’t.
Today he’s talking about how the things of Christ are foolishness to the world…and how as storytellers, we can use that to our advantage by creating wonder in the audience.  Here’s a snippet–do go read the whole thing, his thoughts are spot-on!
In the circles of Christian art (books, film, music, even
visual arts), we often hear talk about the purpose
of our work. Of how to make the end result positive. But what, exactly, does
that mean?  We tend to answer with things
like “to make sure God/Christ is glorified” through our art.  That’s a bit of a difficult standard, really,
when you think about it.  If the things
of God are foolishness to those outside the church, then glorifying God in a godly
way isn’t going to connect with the outay isn’t going to connect with the outside audience in a traditional way.  Meaning that logical arguments for the Gospel
message don’t make sense (all the time—there are of course,
exceptions), and worldly appeals to the gospel risk damaging the message
itself.  You also can’t connect with the
outside audience in the same way that you would with the church/Christian
audience.  We understand things
completely differently.
What that means, to me at least, is that we have to be aware
that we’re speaking foolishness to the outside world.  I know that scares some people. They want a
“clear presentation of the Gospel message.” 
But as storytellers it ought to thrill us.  Confusion and wonder are awesome tools in our tool bag (as long as you’re being
clear in the confusion you’re using – confused yet?)  There are cases of truly bad storytelling
where confusion brings the audience out of the story, but when done well it
makes the audience wonder why a
character did/said a thing. Read the Full Article
~*~

Are You Ready to Write Your Story?

And then, after you’ve read that, I wanted to share about a writers conference WhiteFire is sponsoring, which is founded by one of our new authors, Paula Wallace. Paula runs Bloom in the Dark, a non-profit organization with a television show whose purpose is to help those who’ve suffered from abuse, addiction, or other trauma to not just survive it–but to thrive with the help of the Lord.
The Writing from a Bleeding Heart Conference is geared specifically toward people who hear the Lord whispering Write your story but don’t know how to start. Even seasoned authors run into this–we know how to write other people’s stories, but how do we incorporate our stuff into it, or write a memoir or…? Writing can be an incredibly healing experience–but it’s also a challenge. If you feel that nudge on your spirit, though, it might be because God not only wants to heal you through the process, but because your story could help another of His precious children heal as well.
I get a lot of questions from my readers about this sort of thing, so I wanted to share the information on this conference. David and I will both be there, and I’ll be teaching some of the sessions (on the writing side of things). It promises to be a time of fellowship, education, encouragement, and healing! If it sounds like something you’d be interested in, please check out the website!
Writing from a Bleeding Heart Conference
June 26-29, 2019
Franklin, TN (just outside Nashville) 

Word of the Week – Sinister

Word of the Week – Sinister

by | Apr 8, 2019 | Word of the Week

Yet another homeschool-inspired Word of the Week–this one from my daughter, who bounced out to the kitchen the other day to say, “Do you know where the word sinister comes from?”
To which I replied, stopping what I was doing, “No! Tell me!” And so she did. ? (I adore my word-loving children, LOL.)
So apparently sinister comes Latin by way of Greek and literally means “from the left.” As soon as she said that, I said, “Of course!” I’m sure we’ve all heard the medieval superstition about the left side being unlucky–which was why left-handed children for centuries were forced to use their right hand in school.
But I hadn’t realized the full scope–and the complication–of this. Apparently this particular movement of “from the left” to “unlucky” and finally “evil” started with omen-reading. Greeks would always face north when reading omens. And so, things like bird flights seen on the left were considered bearers of ill-tidings and misfortune. However, Romans actually often faced south…and when they did so, omens seen on the left side were actually considered favorable! So in Latin, this word can actually mean two opposite things–the Greek-inspired “unfortunate” as well as their own “fortunate.” How confusing must that be?
Sinister entered English in the 15th century with the meaning of “prompted by malice, intending to deceive.” This meaning was directly influenced by the idea of something unfavorable coming from the left-hand side. But by the end of the century, the meaning we still know today–evil–had taken hold.
Thoughtful About . . . The Magic

Thoughtful About . . . The Magic

by | Apr 4, 2019 | Thoughtful Thursdays

Well, I’m back from my writing retreat. My manuscript is complete. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And as it eased off, I couldn’t help but contemplate about this strange thing that is a creative’s mind. The doubts that always plague us.

This was the sixth year my best friend and I have gotten together like this–and we skipped one year when she had a newborn, so I took a mini retreat at my parents’ house while they were out of town. Seven years ought to have given me a pretty good indicator of what I can accomplish. And it has. I know that, when on retreat, I can write at least 10,000 words a day. I know that in four full days, 40K isn’t a big ask. I know that I can do this, because I’ve done it six times before.

Stephanie and I trying out the couch our first evening at the Airbnb
But this year, I had to do it. The manuscript I was working on was due two days after I got home. This wasn’t a matter of getting a good start or finishing up a book due next month. This was critical.
Which means the fears crept in. What if, I kept thinking, the magic doesn’t work this time?
Intellectually, of course, I knew it wasn’t magic. There’s no great mystery about how these retreats work. It isn’t that our fingers are always flying, that something happens beyond my comprehension. We have a lot of time when we’re just sitting, hands still on our keyboards, working it out in our minds. We don’t type any faster than usual. It isn’t mystical. It’s just plain ol’ hard work. Often fourteen hours of it (with breaks to eat, walk, do jumping jacks, etc.).

Where I spent most of my weekend–in a big leather armchair, looking out over the living room and kitchen
But something that is unique to a retreat is that I prepare for it. I warn people I’ll be away. I set up an out-of-office auto-responder on my email. I clear everything else off my desk–even the things that are kinda pressing. I give myself permission to work on nothing else.
Something about that and the dedicated time does seem to be a recipe for success. It isn’t “magic.” But it certainly feels it, as I’m sitting in a crowded, noisy airport and manage to tune it all out and just put words on the page–though at home, a mere “Good morning” can derail me for half an hour.
This year, when I needed the retreat more than I ever have before, I was also more productive-per-hour than I’ve ever been. In a 56-hour period, I wrote 33,251 words. Given that quite a few of those hours were spend sleeping, LOL, that’s really, really good for me. At the end of my day of travel, I had 6,000 words. Day 2 (first full day), I wrote 15K. And I went to bed that night thinking, “Okay, my worries were so silly. I can do this. I knew I could do this. But now I feel like I can do this.”

After my 15K day, I knew on Saturday that I’d probably finish my book that day–
which made the coffee at Groundhouse all the sweeter.
But this is pretty typical of us humans, isn’t it? Even when they shouldn’t, doubts plague us. Even when we know something in our heads, that doesn’t mean we get the message in our hearts. Our knowers can know, but our worriers still worry. Sometimes, that can paralyze us. As my deadline drew nearer and my to-list was a mile long with other time-sensitive tasks too, there were days at home when I just stared at the screen, fighting back the panic, not knowing what to do first.
There’s never a magic recipe for escaping that. But there’s something better. There’s hard work. And there’s the sure knowledge that even when we fail, God doesn’t. Even if we mess something up, He can make beauty from the ashes. It isn’t an excuse not to give things more-than-our-best and strive for excellence–it’s just knowing that when our strength fails, we can rely on His instead to help us achieve it.

We celebrated the end of the retreat with tacos

I thoroughly enjoyed my long weekend in Kansas City with my best friend. And I also chuckled at myself as I thought about the very different emotional state I was in a week before. Emotions change–hence motion in the word, right? But we can choose not to be ruled by them. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of putting in the hard work so that our feelings can catch up with our certainty.

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